Housekeeping
Disclaimer: SnK and its characters are not mine.
A/N: I feel like I turned into a DBZ writer; it's taking me a million chapters to get through one day of the story. Also, it took me forever to feel satisfied with this chapter.
Chapter 8
Levi had barely touched the lunch he had brought to his office. A mountain of unfinished paperwork threatened to topple over in a corner on his desk, but he couldn't find the motivation to tackle any of it. Instead, he stared out the open window. As he waited for the inevitable summons, he couldn't help thinking back to the events of earlier that day.
Steam from Eren's titan corpse billowed past him as he shot out of his previous perch. It had taken a few minutes for his racing heart to finally return to a normal rhythm. He then watched those brats' little reunion from afar in a tree. Their relief and exhaustion was evident even at this distance. Levi wasn't about to join them until he found out how bad of a time they had made so he could properly scold them.
It wasn't long before he felt his branch bounce with the arrival of someone he was expecting.
"Hey shithead, just the person I was looking for." As he turned around to face the Squad Leader, he was met with a slap across his face. It was odd that he hadn't sensed that coming and dodged it. His mind must have been too preoccupied with what to say to those brats. "What the hell was that?" he snarled at her.
"I should ask you the same thing!" Hanji exploded. He didn't know what took him by surprise more: the slap or her enraged face. In all the time he'd been in the Survey Corps, he'd never seen this woman so angry. "The hell were you thinking doing that to Mikasa?"
He gingerly rubbed at the stinging spot on his cheek. "If it's any comfort, I didn't intend to go that far. You have your favorite lab rat to thank for that."
"If you'd have listened in the first place when I told you his limitations—"
"It doesn't matter now, does it?" he snapped, cutting her off. "He turned into a titan, and she recovered enough to do her part. You of all people should be excited to have seen his transformation up close."
"I'd never stoop to hurting someone like that for my research," she seethed.
He waved a hand dismissively at her. "We can discuss our ethical differences later. Just give me their damn time."
Despite the front he had put up, he could understand why Hanji had been so mad at him. Violating Ackerman was a last resort, a backup plan in case threatening her life wasn't enough to provoke Eren into transforming. He was so certain with their strong bond that merely seeing her in danger would have pushed him over the edge.
It definitely was not his intention to play the card that held the boy's worst nightmare, but Arlert's words only served to call his bluff. Obviously Levi had gambled big and lost, only to make an all-or-nothing wager that he barely scraped by with. It was a good thing he'd never become a gambler.
But that wasn't the worst of what was haunting him from earlier. When he had pressed against her soft lips, he'd felt a thrill shoot up his spine. With an apprehension that twisted the inside of his stomach, he realized he had enjoyed kissing her—her, his teenage subordinate. It was enough to make him feel so dirty he had scrubbed his skin in the shower until the outermost layer started to peel. Unfortunately that wasn't enough to cleanse the lingering desire.
It had taken all his willpower to break away from that electrifying kiss and still keep up appearances. Things nearly fell apart again when he exposed her porcelain neck, only marred by the red line his blade had made moments prior. How he longed to make her gasp again like when he'd bitten into her…
A timid knock on the door luckily saved his train of thought before it became more sinful.
"Ca-Captain Levi, Sir!" called a lowly soldier he didn't recognize. "Commander Er-Erwin requests your pre-presence."
The dark-haired man stood up, almost too eagerly. It wasn't that he was looking forward to this meeting. On the contrary, he was dreading the reaming he was going to get from his friend and superior officer. But if it would take his mind away from the dangerous path it had started on, then by all means, he was more than willing to walk into the lion's den.
Commander Erwin was in the middle of awkwardly scribbling on a piece of paper when the brown-haired man in front of Levi knocked, entered and announced his presence. The seated man grunted a brief dismissal at the soldier whose rank the Captain didn't care to pay attention to.
Even though it had already been two weeks since their return from the last titan battle, it felt strange to see Erwin missing his right arm. Levi had met with him plenty of times since then, but it wasn't enough to take away years of mental images.
As the blond man set aside his work, he uncharacteristically knocked over an inkwell. A slight hesitation caused it to spill some of its contents before he righted it with his remaining hand. He clearly still favored the missing appendage.
"Need a hand, Erwin?" Levi asked wryly.
"Does that joke ever get old with you?" the Commander gruffly replied, not amused in the slightest. He reached for a rag in a nearby drawer to clean up the mess.
Levi shrugged. "Maybe once you lose a leg, I'll make cracks about how expensive stuff is instead." He strode over and helped his friend by straightening up the messy piles on his desk. Only he and Hanji could get away with such obvious signs of pity for the man.
Once everything was in order, the mood turned solemn. "I'm sure you know why you're here, Levi." The commander placed his elbow on the table and rested his chin on the back of his single hand. Levi felt it wise to pull up a chair across from him; this could take awhile.
"Just tell me what aspects of my test today you didn't like, so I can have my wrist slapped and go about my business," he responded frankly.
Erwin averted his gaze and sighed. "It's much more serious than that." He then dug out a specific set of papers from within a side drawer and slapped them on the desktop. "Your proposal for the test made no such mention of certain…actions…you were prepared to take to entice the Jaeger boy into titan-shifting. I already had reservations about the prospect of holding Miss Ackerman hostage, but from a report I received recently, you went beyond that." He fixed a pair of aquamarine eyes on his comrade. "Care to explain your actions before I render a verdict?"
His expression not changing in the slightest, Levi recited a statement he'd already planned shortly after returning to his office. "I took measures necessary to ensure I could accurately assess my squadron's capabilities for the upcoming mission. You yourself emphasized the importance of Eren Jaeger's prompt extraction, and it was my duty to give you a realistic estimate of the timeframe we could expect to see. I had not expected to encounter the resistance I was met with today, and as such, I had not anticipated resorting to methods that were omitted from my previous report."
There was an uncomfortable silence between them, during which Erwin barely blinked. Finally, he uttered, "I see writing formal documents day in and day out has taken its toll on you. Allow me to rephrase my question." The blond took this opportunity to rise from his chair and suddenly slam a fist on the desk. "What the hell compelled you to sexually assault Mikasa Ackerman?!"
Levi was startled at the rage his friend visibly displayed. "Erwin, I had no choice," he instinctively defended.
"They are in training, Levi. There's always a choice!" he growled and angrily paced the room. "Why didn't you just back down?"
That was a good question. He himself didn't know the answer to that, only the one that he came up with for a situation like this. "I can't afford to look weak in front of my squad. Canceling the test like that would—"
"—Have at least maintained their trust in you," Erwin insistently finished for him, only stopping to shoot him a fierce glare. "Do you understand the gravity of your actions, especially from their point of view? They're still a bunch of goddamn teenagers. Yes, they've been forced to grow up too fast in this world, but emotionally, they're nonetheless unstable and easily impressionable. Can you even fathom what Mikasa must be going through?"
Levi opened his mouth to speak, but surprisingly no words came to his aid. It was probably better to let his commanding officer vent than to argue with him in this state anyhow.
So, Erwin continued with his tirade. "Needless to say, you owe her an apology, in addition to setting things right with the rest of your squad. It's bad enough that I have to push our mission even sooner. I can't have your team falling apart right before that."
"Wait, the timetable's been moved again?"
Erwin slowly nodded. "We leave for Karanese in two weeks. After a week of preparations there, we will be departing for the next expedition. I trust you will be in full health by then."
Levi unconsciously rubbed at his left leg. Things were moving much too quickly, especially for a mission of the scale Erwin had talked about. "Why so soon?"
"Our meteorologists expect an early winter this year," he more calmly explained. "And a harsher one. You know we can't execute what we need to in those conditions. After the blow the Survey Corps has been dealt with recent failures, we can't postpone the mission until spring either. That would give the politicians in the Capital enough time to possibly disband us, or at least indefinitely put any future expeditions on hold."
This new information was so overwhelming, Levi was glad he was sitting down. He would have two weeks to turn his ragtag bunch of brats into a superior titan-killing squad, all while he was still handicapped. The Captain had planned on training them himself once he'd fully recovered, but this recent development rendered that impossible.
"So you can see why I'm frustrated at your little stunt, Levi." Erwin now moved back over to his desk. From underneath a pile of papers, he withdrew a sealed envelope and held it out to him. "I take it you will need this to excuse your cadets from their classes once more so you can teach them strategies specific to your team. It's dated for two days from now. I think that will be enough time for you to win their confidence back."
Levi mutely snatched the yellow envelope from the Commander's hand. Yeah, the same strategies that couldn't save his last squad from one damn titan-shifter. He clenched a fist at the memory. Their old tactics, while still good for regular titan-fighting, would need a complete overhaul.
The ebony-haired man stood up to leave. Erwin had made it very clear what he needed to do now.
Before he could make a move for the door, though, the blond stated, "We're not done yet, Levi." The dark-haired Captain remained where he was but didn't bother sitting back down. "As you may recall, there is a section in the Survey Corps Code of Conduct regarding sexual harassment of fellow soldiers. Normally your actions today would warrant a hearing. However, due to the circumstances, namely how vital you are to the next mission, that will have to be postponed until after we return. That is, if the person who reported you does not withdraw their allegations in the meantime."
Levi knew what he was getting at with that. Erwin would hate for him to have to stand trial as much as he would himself. The easier route would be to win over whichever brat cried to him about it. "Just tell me one thing," Levi inquired in a low voice, "was it Ackerman who filed the complaint?"
There was a moment of hesitation on the other man's part. "I'm not at leisure to disclose the person's identity. That being said, I can at least assure you it was not her."
"Arlert, wonderful," Levi grumbled to himself. He didn't know that someone other than the victim was allowed to make such a report.
"Don't think I'm letting you off without some sort of punishment, though," Erwin attempted to change the subject. He pulled a thick, dusty book off one of his shelves. The blond then ambled over to his friend and gently shoved it into his chest. On the spine read, "Survey Corps Code of Conduct." Clearing his throat, he continued, "I know how much you enjoy paperwork, so I expect a five page summary of the chapter on sexual harassment on my desk tomorrow morning."
Levi could have sworn he saw a transient curl of the other's lips. He sighed and merely tucked the monster of a book under one arm. Objecting to the task would be futile. Considering the deep shit he was in, he was already getting off practically scot-free. Without another word, he turned once more toward the door. This time, though, there were no more interruptions as he opened it and let himself out.
Rubbing a hand over his eyes then sliding it down his face, the dark-haired man didn't notice the woman standing in front of him at first. When he did, instead of giving a start like his body instinctively wanted to do, he snapped, "What are you doing here, Shitty Glasses?"
In one hand, she held several sheets of paper, and an uncharacteristic frown was plastered on her visage. She looked like she was ready to slap him again just for standing there. "Waiting for you to leave so I could give Erwin my report." The bite in her voice slightly unnerved Levi. Usually she was quick to go back to her chipper self, but it was almost as if they had never left that tree branch in the forest.
"And eavesdropping too, I bet," he scowled. He stepped aside and made a motion with his free hand. "He's all yours." Levi then turned to walk around her when she purposely moved in front of him.
"I think now would qualify as 'later' to continue our discussion."
The shorter man sighed. He really wasn't in the mood for this, but by the way she was glaring at him, she wouldn't take "no" for an answer. "Get on with it then, I have important work to do."
She wasted no time in getting to the heart of the matter. "What you did to Mikasa was the most despicable thing I've ever seen you do, Levi. And you know I've seen plenty of horrible things from you over the years."
'It's a good thing she never met me while I was in the Underground then,' Levi mused. Then aloud, he retorted, "What's done is done, and there's no changing it. She can hate me all she wants, or she can get over it. I don't give a damn."
"Yes, you do, because you're Levi," she insisted, sticking her head closer to his face, which made him take a step back. "You may act cold and uncaring on the outside, but deep down, you take what people think of you to heart." She took this opportunity to shove her pointer finger into his chest. "If you had the foggiest idea about how Mikasa felt about you, you'd be ashamed of what you did."
His stormy eyes narrowed at her. "I think the chemical fumes from your lab have finally gotten to your brain. Ackerman doesn't give a rat's ass about anyone who isn't Jaeger or Arlert. Besides, you saw how fast she recovered. The girl can deal with this; it was just a kiss."
"Just a kiss?!" Hanji screeched, nearly blowing out his eardrums. "For you it may have been 'just a kiss!' Have you forgotten how young Mikasa is? Not only is she constantly fighting for her life and protecting her friends, but she also has teenager issues to deal with. And you stealing her first kiss is not helping in the least."
Levi groaned. "Really, shithead? Please tell me you're not getting so worked up over something as frivolous as Ackerman's 'first kiss.' If it were really that damn important to her, then one, she's a moron, and two, she should have given it away to the Jaeger boy already. It's obvious as daylight that's where it would have gone," he spat.
Hanji seemed to have calmed down a bit, but she was still relentless. "Again, whereas you may see it as frivolous, some girls take it very seriously. I don't think Mikasa does, quite honestly, but that aside, how can you be so sure she would have given it to Eren? They are like family to each other after all."
He growled and crossed his arms as best he could with his newly acquired items. Really, he didn't know how someone so smart could be so idiotic at times. "You clearly need more than four eyes." Making a gesture with his hand as if to count on his fingers, he rattled off, "She blushes at the simple mention of his name, she defends him no matter how wrong he is, she cites him as the motivation behind everything she does…" With each reason, he found himself growing more and more angry. "They might as well go screw each other already."
Hanji raised an eyebrow. "And you would be okay with this?"
Levi didn't quite know where she was going with that question, but he responded anyway. "So long as they didn't turn into a pair of giggling shits, that's fine by me. It's actually irritating that he hasn't made a move on her yet."
The brunette woman tilted her head to the side and placed both hands on her hips. "Oh, why's that?"
"Isn't it obvious? Ackerman's quite the catch, despite her lapses in judgment when it comes to him. I don't know when's the last time I've seen a soldier her age, male or female, so good at everything she does. And the way she cleans… I haven't met anyone like that in years…" It was at this point that Levi realized he was getting dangerously off track. He made a coughing noise as if to clear his throat. "Jaeger just needs to grow a pair, get over whatever social stigma he's afraid of from being with her and ask her out."
There was a moment of silence between them, and he couldn't help but notice the scientist scrutinizing him carefully. "Maybe you should take the same advice…" she murmured.
Levi stiffened. "I have no idea what you're getting at, but if we're done with our conversation, I'll be taking my leave."
He made to step around her again when she added, "And to think, just last week, I was telling her how decent of a guy you are beneath that asshole exterior."
This made him pause in his tracks. "Why were you talking to her about me?"
Levi realized too late he should have kept walking. A playful gleam suddenly appeared in her eyes. "No reason. We were discussing something unrelated, and you just happened to come up, that's all."
"How did I 'happen to come up'?" he scowled.
She merely waved flippantly at him. "Like I said, it didn't concern you in the first place. It's nothing important anyway, so don't get your pants in a bunch, Mr. Humanity's Nosiest."
Levi snarled. He didn't have time to play games with her, so he shoved her aside and stormed down the hallway.
He'd only gone a few meters before Hanji's voice caught his attention for the last time. "Armin was wrong, you know, Levi," she stated more seriously.
He stopped mid-step and turned his head back slightly in her direction. "About?"
"Eren not being able to transform," she explained. "It wasn't because he didn't think you were a threat." Her framed eyes lowering, she finished, "It was because he cared too much about you."
Levi let the information sink in in silence.
"He hasn't woken up yet for me to confirm, but I suspect he didn't want to hurt you. And similar to when Annie revealed herself, despite what went on before his own eyes, he refused to believe you were the monster you were acting like. It was his own feelings that were holding him back."
With no response left to give, the dark-haired man continued on his way.
Mikasa brushed a hand over the sleeping boy's forehead to push aside some stray locks of chocolate brown hair. Hanji had left to go run errands not too long ago, leaving her alone with her adoptive brother.
The teenage girl sat back on the short infirmary stool and leaned against the wall. She was going to tell him everything once he woke up—about her feelings for the Captain, her attempts to get to know him better this past week…and that she wasn't going to pursue him any further. After the events from today, she wanted nothing to do with that heartless bastard, so there was no point hiding it from Eren any longer. It might make him glad that she was coming so clean with him.
Mikasa sighed. She should have known it would've been better for her to explore her feelings for Eren instead. He would never do something so callous in order to push an agenda like the Captain had earlier. Her brother put her safety foremost in his mind, and he was constantly concerned for her well-being. She would be a fool to have eyes for anyone other than him. At least she knew she wouldn't suffer anymore heartache like she would from a certain asshole…
A stirring from the boy on the nearby cot took Mikasa by surprise. He'd never woken up this quickly from a titan transformation before.
Hanji hadn't returned yet, so the girl wasn't quite sure what to do. "Eren, are you all right?" She grasped one of his hands between her two. He simply blinked at the ceiling a few times. "Eren, can you hear me?" she pressed more urgently.
With a groan he pulled his other arm up over his head. "This isn't a dream, is it?"
Mikasa opened her mouth wide in relief. She then threw herself over his chest, eliciting an "umph" from him. "No, no it isn't." Both arms were wrapped around him now, crushing him in a bear hug.
"Oi oi, easy there. I don't want to regenerate parts that I don't have to."
Mikasa smiled against him and sat back up on her stool.
Eren took this opportunity to slowly get into a sitting position on the flimsy bed while still clutching his forehead. "Now that I think about it, I should be the one asking if you are all right."
The raven-haired girl looked down glumly. "I'll be fine." She shifted uncomfortably, trying not to think of the events from earlier. "I'm sorry you had to go through all that. I should have fought—"
His arms were suddenly around her in a tight hug, his head resting on her shoulder. "Don't you dare apologize for what happened." She could hear a crack in his voice and felt him trembling, as if containing a surge of emotions within him. "None of this was your fault. It was all him. I should be the one who's sorry, for not being able to save you sooner."
For a few minutes, they held each other silently. Each had always been a rock for the other, and in this moment, it was no different. The girl nuzzled her head in the crook of his neck. She let the sound of his slowly calming heartbeat soothe her. His grip eventually eased up as well, but he didn't let go.
It was Mikasa who finally broke their embrace. She met his shimmering emerald eyes with her own tender gaze and gently stroked a hand over his temple. "You shouldn't be sorry for a power you can't control yet. But it's all over now."
The worn-out titan-shifter looked away, something clearly on his mind. "Hey, Mikasa…about what he said…you still doing those chores and all…"
Her pink lips pursed into a thin line. "I don't think I can go back after what happened, no matter his orders." Both onyx eyes turned downward. "Even if I did go, I doubt he'd make good on that threat, though, since he only said those things to get you to transform."
His hands clenched into fists. "I still can't believe he would even think of doing such a thing to you."
Mikasa's soothing hands were once again on his. "He was prepared to say anything to get a reaction out of you, Eren. Don't let what he said get to you." She paused as she mulled over her next words. Even though she had resolved earlier to confess her feelings for the Captain, seeing her brother in this state made her have second thoughts. It might be best to save her disclosure for another day, when he wasn't so worked up.
Instead, another idea came to mind. "Ne, Eren." Once he looked up to give her his full attention, she continued, "If you're feeling better later, would you…like to do some combat training with me?"
The dark-haired boy's mouth opened in surprise. "Are-Are you sure? I don't think I'd be much help, since you can whip my ass any day."
A small smile appeared on her face. "It'd be better than training alone."
"Yeah, but at least you wouldn't be holding back for me. Besides, I thought you were preparing to work with…" Eren wasn't able to finish that thought, since it brought a certain someone back to mind.
"That's…still some weeks to come," Mikasa said bitterly.
It must have been obvious that she didn't want to think of that man as much as he didn't. So, in as calm a voice as he could muster, Eren asked, "I'll meet you outside your room after 3DMG practice then?"
The raven-haired girl nodded and joked, "If Hanji's done prodding you by then."
"I'm sure if I tell her I have a previous engagement, she can work around it," he followed with a grin. A loud grumbling suddenly came from his stomach. The boy frowned and instinctively put both hands over it. "Hey, Mikasa…if Hanji isn't coming back soon, do you mind grabbing me something to eat?"
She couldn't help the short laugh that escaped her lips. "Sure."
Levi couldn't stand being in his office anymore. Not after the chewing out he got from Erwin and Hanji.
He took a quick glance at his clock. Ackerman would be here in 40 minutes. That is, if she had the nerve to show up at all. Pushing away from his desk, he closed up the dusty tome that was the Survey Corps Code of Conduct. Maybe if she did come, she could clean up that filthy book.
Leaving his office unlocked for her, he made his way to his room to grab a spare undershirt and towel before heading over to the recreation room. A workout was just what he needed to get his mind off the events of today, especially off her.
He was still irritated at all the fuss over her. His two fellow officers must severely underestimate her fortitude. But he'd been around her long enough to know she'd be able to handle something like this. It might take some time, but she'd be back to fawning over Eren soon enough.
When he arrived at the modest-sized workout room, he found that it was surprisingly empty for this time of day. He removed his jacket and shirt and neatly placed them and the towel on a bench. Slipping on the undershirt, he made his way over to a spot on the large blue mat to warm up. The straps of his harness still hung loosely at his sides in case he wanted to do some light 3DMG practice later.
His ankle ached a bit from the stress he hadn't expected to put on it today, but according to the medic he'd seen earlier, it should still heal on time, provided he didn't subject it to more of the same treatment. After about ten minutes, he made his way over to the punching bag. He started off with some light jabs before jumping into his usual routine. Despite his efforts to keep his mind clear, Erwin's and Hanji's voices plagued him.
"Can you even fathom what Mikasa must be going through?"
"If you had the foggiest idea about how Mikasa felt about you, you'd be ashamed of what you did."
Levi shook his head. They should just stay out of his damned business on how he got results out of his squad.
Not to say that he wasn't at least partially wrong in what he did. Pushing Ackerman that far was something he regretted, but then again, there were a lot of choices he had misgivings over. This shouldn't have been any different.
So why was it still bothering him?
A cool breeze suddenly blew over his sweaty body as someone opened the entrance to the rec room. He expected it to pass shortly, but when he didn't hear the door close, he peered over his shoulder to see what idiot had his feet glued to the floor.
His heart stopped when a pair of onyx eyes met his gaze. The rest of the recreation room seemed to fade into nothingness.
Standing in the entryway was Mikasa Ackerman. Her usual attire was replaced with a maroon sports bra and white sweatpants. A plethora of emotions was uncharacteristically exposed on her normally placid face. For the first time ever, he could clearly read what was behind those shadowy orbs: shock, confusion, trepidation, hurt…none of which suited her.
Where was that fire, that defiance he hated so much? Surely she must loathe him for what he'd done. Then why was she staring at him like a kicked puppy? Looking at her in this state was almost painful. Had he really done this to her?
Maybe Erwin and Shitty Glasses weren't too far off after all.
"Mikasa, what are you waiting for?" came a voice from behind her. Soon enough, Eren's curious face appeared over her shoulder. The boy's expression immediately turned into a scowl when he caught sight of him. "Maybe we should go train outside for today." He nudged her back out the way they came.
The girl could only nod and mechanically follow her brother.
Levi couldn't believe his eyes. Was that the same Ackerman who was determined to defy him at every turn?
No longer motivated to continue his workout, he dragged himself over to the bench and planted himself down on it.
Had she cared that much about what happened? He knew Eren, with his blind faith in him, would still be upset; he had pushed him past his tipping point after all. But Ackerman? Anger was to be expected from the insubordinate girl, hatred as well. It wouldn't surprise him if she wanted to beat him to a pulp. However, what he had just seen was not something he had anticipated.
She must have grown more attached to him recently, probably because of those damned chores. He should never have let her get so close to him.
He gathered his belongings and headed to his room to shower once more. It made him sick to his stomach knowing that he had inflicted such emotional trauma on her. What disturbed him even more was that he himself was becoming so distraught at what he'd done. Apparently he had grown more fond of her than he'd realized.
One thing was for sure: he was going to make things right with her. He'd already played with fire and gotten himself burned. He'd be damned if he let the flames consume him.