Housekeeping
Disclaimer: SnK and its characters are not mine.
A/N: Argh, I hate getting hit by lack of motivation. Going on vacation didn't help with that either. Oh well. By the way, minstorai, thanks for going back and making sure your review got submitted. I didn't expect anyone to care that much. ^_^;;;
Chapter 9
Punch, punch, block.
She thought she could be strong.
Duck, sweep-kick, lunge.
She thought she could keep it together.
Dodge, dodge, throw.
She was wrong.
"Ow! Easy there, Mikasa!" Eren cried, scrambling to his feet while gripping his back with one hand. "Gravity is painful enough without you adding to it."
The dark-haired girl snapped her head to attention. "I'm sorry, Eren. I didn't mean to hurt you."
He shrugged off her apology with a simple wave. "Nah, it's okay. I need to get my lumps in some time." The boy took up a battle stance similar to Annie's. "Ready to go again whenever you are."
Mikasa nodded and fell into her own, knees bent and arms poised in front of her, ready to strike at a moment's notice.
With a challenging shout, Eren rushed at her with a fist winding up behind him. She dodged his punch with ease and soon fell into yet another fighting routine. The pace she held herself back at soon grew dull. And when things couldn't hold her attention, her mind wandered, letting her body run on autopilot.
When she had opened the door to the rec room, the last person she had expected to see was him.
The last few strikes he made against the punching bag seemed to take place in slow motion. There was a powerful yet controlled ferocity behind each attack.
But what made her have to stifle a gasp was the Captain's appearance. He wore a simple undershirt which did little to cover his perfectly sculpted, muscular build. His white trousers clung tightly to his taut legs, and his entire body glistened in the afternoon sunlight, which seeped in through the windows. One bare arm flexed after the other, showing off his robust biceps. He looked so…desirable in that moment.
However, as he turned toward her, a deadly glare flashed in his eyes, reminiscent of the look she saw that morning right before he drew his blade on her. Memories of what followed flashed mercilessly in her head, and she felt the same emotions overwhelm her. She didn't have a chance to put on her mask before their gazes locked. His slate eyes seemed to tap into her soul and read her every thought. Mikasa tightened her grip on the door handle, more so to prevent herself from collapsing.
Her heart stopped as she saw his stony face soften. From within his stormy orbs came another look, one that seemed confused, and yet…apologetic.
Eren chose that moment to unexpectedly quicken his pace, and before she knew it, he had thrown her off balance enough to knock her down with a simple sweep behind her legs. Mikasa cursed herself under her breath. Captain Levi was once again the cause of her humiliation, and he wasn't even present.
As her adoptive brother offered her an arm up, she noticed how grim his face was set. She tried to ignore it as he helped her to her feet.
Mikasa was soon back into her usual stance, ready for another go. She was determined not to get distracted again. However, Eren didn't follow suit. He continued to stare at her, almost as if he were studying her. "Is something the matter, Eren?" she questioned, trying to maintain a steady voice.
After a long pause, he sighed. "You're not really into this, are you?"
Mikasa blinked a few times. "What do you mean?"
"I'm boring you, I can tell," he stated simply.
The raven-haired girl shook her head automatically. "No, it's not that. You caught me off guard, fair and square. Let's go agai—"
"Mikasa, you don't have to lie." With that, he made his way toward the towels they had abandoned not too far away. They had opted to spar in the barren training grounds outside the castle. "I appreciate you thought I'd be good enough for this, but like I said before, you're levels above me." He shook bits of dirt off the long piece of cloth and used it to wipe the sweat from his brow. Then more quietly, the somber boy finished, "I think you'd be better off training with someone else."
"Eren, I don't want anyone else," Mikasa insisted, walking up to him. "I want you." She didn't care if he took that the wrong way. In fact, she almost hoped he did. But as he shook his head, she could tell he hadn't a clue.
"Maybe you can ask one of the Squad Leaders to train with you in the meantime. I'm sure they wouldn't mind." He draped the towel around his neck and headed back toward the barracks.
"Wait, Eren!" When he made no indication of stopping, she ran up behind him and grabbed one of his arms. The boy simply shrugged her off and continued on his way. Mikasa felt a sense of worry creep up on her. It wasn't like him to give up so easily. "Tell me what's wrong!" she implored.
He must have heard the strain in her plea because he stopped. Mikasa took this opportunity to catch up to him. He still refused to look at her when she placed a hand on his shoulder. Finally he let out a sigh and said, "If I had been as strong as you, I would have been able to save you."
"Oh, Eren…" She could feel her heart sink at his words. "Don't say things like that." The teenage girl reached over to hug him from his side. "I couldn't even save myself, so you have nothing to feel bad about."
"Mikasa…" he uttered in a low voice. "If I can't rescue you from one man in a practice run, how can I expect to protect you from the titans? Or other men as sick as him?"
"Eren." She turned his head with a slender hand so that he could look her straight in the eye. "You already have." She could feel his breath catch in his throat. "If it weren't for you, I wouldn't be here, remember? You've always had the strength to protect me, and you always will. Don't let what the Captain did get you down."
Tears were starting to form in his emerald orbs as she gave him a reassuring smile. Soon enough, he turned fully toward her and returned her embrace. "I'm sorry," he croaked. "It's just…hard to remember that sometimes, you know…"
She pressed single finger to his lips to silence him. "I know…" As she gazed up at him, she felt her head inching closer to him. She couldn't tell if Eren was doing the same or if it was just her imagination. With a tilt of her chin, she closed her eyes and let her lips move forward…
"Eren? Eren!" echoed someone's searching voice.
Mikasa instinctively jumped back and out of the dark-haired boy's arms. She recognized Hanji as the person calling for him before she appeared around a corner.
"Eren, there you are!" Oblivious to what had transpired, the older woman flashed him a broad grin. "I just remembered some more tests I wanted to run. Oh, hi to you too, Mikasa. I hope I wasn't interrupting anything important."
The girl's cheeks flushed red, and out of the corner of her eye, she could see the same happening to Eren's face. "No, no, nothing. We…just finished with our training."
"Wonderful!" The scientist clapped her hands together. "Then you won't mind if I steal him for a bit." She wrapped an arm around one of Eren's and began to drag him along, protesting, behind her. "I'll make sure to finish with him before dinner~!"
Mikasa could only bring herself to meekly wave as they disappeared. Once they had gone, she let out a deep sigh. What the hell was wrong with her?
She trudged heavily back to her room as her thoughts hounded her. Was she that desperate to forget about the Captain that she was throwing herself at her adoptive brother? Mikasa shook her head, raven locks bouncing around her. No, this is what she should be doing. Right? She loved him, he was perfect for her, so all she needed to do was give him a push in the right direction. Then she could finally put an end to these painful, turbulent feelings that battled within her.
His entire body glistened in the afternoon sunlight.
She slammed the door to her room closed and threw herself onto the bed. As she lay face down, she wrapped her arms around her soft white pillow and squeezed it tightly.
Her heart stopped as she saw his stony face soften.
She clenched her eyes shut. Not again. Why did his image torment her so when she wanted nothing to do with him anymore?
Mikasa rolled over and plopped the pillow onto her face. Was it even possible to like Captain Levi after what he had done to her? Whatever hormones were driving her to this insanity seemed to think so.
Finding that lying here was doing nothing to help her clear her mind, the half-Asian girl dragged herself out of the bed and began collecting her toiletries and a clean uniform. Maybe a shower would do her some good. A nice, cold one.
Before Levi opened the door, he could heard the sound of someone, no, two people, moving around in his office. Growling, he burst into the room, ready to teach the pair of intruders a lesson. The sight that greeted him gave him pause, yet did nothing to dissipate his irritation.
Sasha was sweeping up shards of porcelain into a dustpan held by a kneeling Krista. Behind them, he spotted a wicker basket full of laundry.
At his loud entry, both of them stood at attention and gave a salute, the broom clattering to the floor at the auburn-haired girl's feet. "C-Captain!" they greeted.
"Braus, Lenz…" he acknowledged in an ominous voice. "You have five seconds to explain what the hell you're doing here."
"Sir!" Sasha gulped. "Returning your laundry, Sir!"
"Mikasa asked us to, Sir!" Krista expounded just as stiffly. "We were waiting for you to return, and Sasha knocked over a figurine on your shelf."
"Krista, you didn't have to add that last part," the other girl hissed out the side of her mouth.
The Captain scowled. Judging by the larger pieces of the pile in the dustpan, it had formerly been a dragon statue Petra had given him. He clenched a fist tightly at the sight of the shattered memento. He'd better get rid of the bumbling duo before he added homicide to his list of offenses for the day.
"Braus!" he barked, making her jump. "Report to Sergeant Hester immediately. Your week of bathroom duty starts now!"
Sasha paled. "But…But I'll be late for dinner…"
"Do I look like I give a damn? Now go!"
With a squeak, she hightailed it out of the room. The irate Captain now turned to the blond who had barely moved during their exchange. "Lenz, I highly suggest you scram as well."
As he strode past her to finish cleaning up, an icy voice reached his ears. "The name is Historia, Captain." This made him pause in his retrieval of the broom. "I'd like to have a word with you, if I may." Without giving him a look, she walked over to the office door and closed it.
Levi groaned inwardly. Normally when she was in her "good girl" persona, she didn't mind being called by the alias her father had given her. Insisting on using her real name told him she planned on being a bitch. "No, you may not, but I'm sure that won't deter you, Reiss," he spat. Resuming his work, he swept the remaining pieces into the dustpan and emptied them into a nearby wastebasket.
Once he had put away the cleaning equipment, he sat down at his desk. Historia took a seat across from him and wasted no time getting to business. "I don't suppose you know who filed the sexual harassment report against you."
This made him raise an eyebrow. "I have my suspicions, but I get the feeling you're going to tell me."
She pursed her lips. "You're probably thinking Armin is the culprit, since it's not in Mikasa's nature to have someone fight her battles for her." Making sure his face revealed nothing, he continued to stare at her in silence. "You would be correct, had I not asked him to allow me to make the report instead. I convinced him it was better for someone not so personally attached to her to do it."
"So now what, Reiss?" he finally prodded. "Planning on blackmailing me? If so, you can kiss my ass and get the hell out of my office right now." Levi began to stand up, determined to show her out the door one way or another.
"No, that was never my intention," she calmly replied, raising a hand to brush a golden lock from her eyes.
The dark-haired man begrudgingly settled back into his seat. "Then why?"
Historia took a deep breath before delving into her explanation. "I know Eren, Mikasa, and Armin are your favorites. The rest of us must be nothing more than titan fodder in your eyes."
"An incorrect assumption, but go on," Levi interrupted.
Her face scrunched up slightly in annoyance, but she proceeded. "I wanted you to be aware that after what happened, you'll have to win over more than just them; everyone on your squad lost respect for you today. From what Commander Erwin assured me, an apology is in order for Mikasa, but I think that should be extended to the rest of us as well."
After a brief silence between them, Levi sighed. "Is that all?"
The fair-haired girl flinched. "I guess…"
"Good, then allow me to clear up a few misconceptions while the real you is willing to talk." He picked up a stack of papers to sort through while he continued, since this whole conversation seemed beneath him to have at all. "First, I do not favor one squad member or set of squad members over the rest. I may treat them differently, but you might finally understand why once you obtain the ability to turn into a titan, become the top soldier of your group, or cultivate a brilliant, strategic mind.
"Second, I am fully aware of what everyone thinks of me because of my actions. I'd have to have the brains of a Military Policeman not to see that. And third…" He took this opportunity to slam down a fistful of papers onto his desk. "…I had every intention of addressing the entire squad, so learn some goddamn patience. I haven't so much as had a chance to talk to Ackerman today, and you're already breathing demands for everyone else down my neck."
Historia bit her lip, clearly trying to maintain her composure, but unable to find anything else to say.
"Now, much as I'm enjoying your company, your ladyship," he sarcastically bit, "I'd prefer to be left alone now." He turned back to his paperwork, grabbing his pen and roughly scratching away at a new document.
The girl before him silently stood up and slowly made her way for the exit. Just before the door, though, she stopped. She seemed to be deliberating voicing one last thought.
Levi paid her no mind. He really should ask Hanji to give her a thorough psychiatric evaluation at some point.
After a few minutes, she turned back to him. "They're all my friends, you know, not just other members of a squad. I never thought I'd be able to care for anyone after Ymir left." Out of the corner of his eye, Levi could see her trembling. "I know in the past, all I focused on was making a good name for myself and dying with honor. But now…it feels like the closest thing I had to a family has been torn apart." He lifted his head up to meet her aquamarine orbs. "I just want things back to the way they were, and you're the only person who can do it."
Levi contemplated her words. So there was more to her than he had originally thought. "I'll see what I can do, Reiss." That seemed to satisfy her, for she gave a stiff nod and turned back to the door. He couldn't help adding, though, "You know, the first step to being a great soldier is to be true to yourself." Her hand froze on the metal knob. "You really should shed the Krista Lenz facade, even if she was less of a demanding bitch."
Without another word, she promptly exited the office, leaving Levi alone like he'd requested.
Armin crossed the bustling mess hall with his dinner tray in hand. He would have arrived sooner, but Commander Erwin had stopped him on the way here. It only took a few minutes for the leader of the Survey Corps to explain that he wanted to see the young cadet in his office later that night and that he would send someone to escort him at the proper time. Thus, Armin had spent the rest of the slow trek to dinner pondering why the Commander would request to meet with him.
Within the brightly-lit room, there was so much noise from all the chatter from various squads, it was a wonder anyone could hear their own conversations. The blond couldn't catch the one going on at his friends' table until he was only a few meters away from them.
"So no more calling you 'Krista' then? This is going to take some getting used to," Jean muttered.
The girl in question nodded. "I know it will be hard, and I hope you guys don't start disliking me over it, since I'm not really that nice deep down…"
"I'm glad," Eren interjected, as Armin took a seat across from him. "That 'Krista' personality was too creepy, if you ask me. I'm sure the real you will feel more normal to us in no time."
A blush tinted her pale cheeks, and she couldn't seem to bring herself to respond to his words of encouragement.
She wouldn't have had the chance anyway, though, as disheveled, auburn-haired girl dragged herself over to them with her full food tray. Panting, she flopped onto the nearest seat at the table.
"Whoa, what happened to you, Potato Girl?" Jean inquired.
"Just finished cleaning…bathrooms…record speed…" was all they managed to make out of her incoherent babble.
Everyone but Historia seemed confused, so she took it upon herself to explain, "The Captain made her start her bathroom punishment earlier this afternoon."
"Ah, sorry to hear that, Sasha," Armin comforted. Her reply was even less intelligible between shovels of food into her mouth. "So…" he attempted to change the subject, "I wonder what we're going to talk about in class tomorrow."
"I don't care, so long as it doesn't involve squaring off against a titan," Connie quipped, twirling his spoon.
Armin had just opened his mouth to make a suggestion when a sudden hush fell over the entire hall. This made everyone perk their heads up to find the source of the lull. Within the doorway at the far side of the spacious room stood Captain Levi. His stoic gaze scanned the mess hall in silence.
When his gray eyes fell upon his squad's table, he deliberately made his way toward them. His limp was practically invisible to the untrained eye. In his wake were whispers from other groups of soldiers. The Captain hadn't spent any length of time here in weeks. He habitually would take his meal from the kitchen and retreat to his office or chambers, never once stopping for anyone, even when he was met with dozens of salutes and greetings.
Now he seemed fixated on his group of cadets. Whether it was for a good reason or bad was anyone's guess.
Most of the squad shifted uncomfortably at his approach. Mikasa buried her face in her scarf and refused to look at him. Eren, on the other hand, gritted his teeth and glared at his leader with a raging fire in his eyes, while Armin studied the older man with his piercing gaze. As usual, the man's stoic face betrayed nothing.
Once he reached the head of the table, which was the farthest end from the trio of close friends, he stopped briskly and cleared his throat. The rest of the mess hall was still in murmurs, as if everyone was interested in hearing what he had to say.
"I'm sure you all know why I'm here," Captain Levi began. No one dared to give him a response. "I'm aware of what each of you thinks of me, so let me say that you are all justified in your opinions. What I did today was atrocious and reprehensible. I owe each and every one of you an apology for my selfish actions."
Six pairs of eyes looked at each other with shock.
"Mikasa Ackerman," he addressed the raven-haired girl, who was trying her hardest to act like he didn't exist. Undeterred by her lack of acknowledgement, he took a deep breath before going on. "I am most sorry for what I put you through. If I could take my actions back, I would. I ask for your forgiveness, but I understand if you do not give it to me. The least I can do is offer you a transfer out of my squad."
This caught the teenage girl's attention, as it should. None of them had ever heard him apologize for anything, least of all speak in such a humbled tone of voice. Mikasa finally looked up at him with the same placid stare he gave everyone else.
"I know you won't leave without Eren, so I'm giving him the chance to do the same if he wishes. This goes for all of you." He made eye contact with each one of the cadets with his stormy orbs. "I understand you have misgivings following a someone whom you no longer trust. None of you has to give me your answer today. I just ask that you think it over." He took one last sweep over the gathering of young soldiers. "Now, unless anyone has something to add, I'll leave you to yourselves."
Armin couldn't believe what he had just witnessed. Was the Captain being sincere, or was this another trick to get them to work with him?
After a moment of silence, the older man slowly turned and made a few steps away when a voice stopped him. "Wait."
All eyes fell on the half-Asian girl who stood up from her seat.
What was she doing? Surely she must still be debating whether to forgive him or not like the rest of them were.
"I won't transfer," she firmly stated, eliciting gasps from her comrades.
Jean was on his feet in an instant. "What?! Don't you at least want to think it over?" he implored of her.
"Mikasa, you sure?" Armin asked as well, his mouth suddenly feeling dry. Once she declined his offer, there was no going back.
Then again, maybe she had the right idea in mind. After all, he couldn't think of anyone else more qualified to keep him and his friends safe than Humanity's Strongest.
Eren subsequently stood and put a comforting hand on her shoulder. "If that's what you really want, Mikasa, then I won't transfer either."
One by one, everyone else vocalized their support, until even Jean had to concede. "All right, all right," he sighed. "I'll stay too, but only because Mikasa's okay with it."
Throughout this, Levi hadn't budged. Armin couldn't help staring at his back with his azure eyes and wondering what he was thinking. Not even turning to look at them, their squad leader resumed his departure.
"However," Mikasa added, "it's only on the condition that the Captain have his meals with us, starting tonight."
"Eh?!" the rest of her group yelled in surprise.
This made the older man stop and whirl around to face her.
"I heard that you used to dine with your previous squad every night. It's only fair to ask you do the same with us," Mikasa explained calmly.
The Captain crossed his arms before grumbling, "Fine, but don't expect me to stick around and chit-chat after I've finished my meal. I still have a lot of work to do." With that, he made his way to the kitchen to grab a food tray.
Once he was out of earshot, everyone bombarded Mikasa at once.
"Are you insane?!" exclaimed Jean.
"Now we can't complain about him behind his back," Connie whined.
"Are you sure this is such a good idea?" inquired Historia.
"Man, what if he sees the extra food I snuck out?" Sasha lamented.
Eren put both his hands up in front of him in an attempt to calm everyone down. "Hey, hey, I'm sure Mikasa has her reasons…er, right, Mikasa?"
Instead of responding, the girl in question simply sat down and began eating her previously untouched stew. Everyone was still mumbling as they took their seats but immediately grew quiet when their stoic Captain returned.
It didn't take long for the rest of the mess hall to resume its rowdiness.
An uncomfortable silence pervaded the table at which Levi's squad ate. Everyone kept to themselves as they polished off their plates. Even Sasha didn't dare to ask anyone for a share of their food.
Their leader soon finished his supper and was taking one final sip of his tea. He looked like he was about to leave again.
Suddenly, Mikasa asked, "Captain, why don't you tell us about your first encounter with an Aberrant?"
Her fellow squadmates looked up in confusion, while the older man raised an eyebrow at her. Both the raven-haired girl and the target of her inquiry exchanged a knowing glance as if she should already be familiar with this story.
"I don't think anyone's interested in hearing that," he said as he set down his tea cup.
"I would be," Armin piped up.
This earned him a glare from the Captain. The blond cringed back slightly. He knew Mikasa had something up her sleeve, so he decided to help by playing along. Luckily, everyone else seemed to take a sudden interest as well. "Fine," he conceded. "But if you're expecting to hear that I shit my pants, you're going to be sorely disappointed."
He pushed his tray aside and crossed his arms. "It was my first time outside the walls. Erwin was using this expedition to test out his new long-distance enemy scouting formation. Isabel, Farlan, and I were stuck with the rookies at the center—"
"Huh? Who are Isabel and Farlan?" Eren interrupted, scratching his head.
"They were friends who joined the Survey Corps with me," Levi explained, unfazed. Armin guessed there was more to them than that, but the Captain didn't seem interested in elaborating. Instead, he jumped right back into the story without a hitch. "Erwin had just left to take care of some titans in a nearby forest. As we rode by it, one titan broke away. We knew it was an Aberrant because it headed straight for the supply carts instead of attacking the soldiers closest to it.
"Since we were out in the open, the only way to get up to the nape was to use the titan's body to swing up to it. However, the soldiers that succeeded in latching themselves onto it soon were faced with the Aberrant's unusual ability: namely it would stop and shake them all off."
Several pairs of eyes stared at him with rapt attention, growing wider when he mentioned the last part.
"So I teamed up with Isabel and Farlan to take it down. After filling them in on my plan, I shot up to the titan's back and anchored myself onto it with my blades. The titan quickly noticed me and stopped running long enough to try to shake me off. That's when my friends struck.
"They slashed at its leg muscles and brought it down to one knee. This left the Aberrant incapable of shaking, giving me the opportunity to swing up and cut through the back of its neck. Needless to say, that was the end of that." As if to emphasize, the Captain stood up and grabbed his empty tray. "That should be enough story time to satisfy you brats for one night. Now if you'll excuse me, I need to return to my office."
As he exited the mess hall at a brisk pace, Mikasa likewise rose with her tray. "I'd better turn in. Good night." She barely looked up at anyone as she made her way to leave as well. Eren must have sensed something was off too, for he scrambled to his feet and followed her, not bothering to clean up his mess. Armin sighed as he gathered his friend's abandoned dinnerware. He was sure he'd hear about what would happen later, but for now, he had a feeling he'd be spending the rest of his evening assuaging the concerns of his remaining comrades.
Levi waited in a side hallway until the raven-haired girl passed. He knew she'd followed him, but he was unsure why. "Ackerman," he called quietly.
She instantly spun on her heel. Her face refused to reveal the surprise she must have felt. The sound of more footsteps coming indicated that Eren would soon be here too, but he didn't care.
"I know what you're trying to do, but I don't need your help," he simply stated.
"I have no idea what you're talking about," was her curt reply. In the meantime, her brother had just walked up, shock clearly written across his face at their impromptu staring contest.
Levi pushed off the wall he was leaning against with his shoulder and straightened up. "You only did that so the brats would regain their confidence in me. Why?"
Their gazes never faltered, seemingly oblivious to the third party that looked from one to the other. "The sooner they trust you again, the sooner we can refocus on training together to fight the titans."
"Is that the only reason?"
He took her slight hesitation as a "No." despite her emphatic "Yes."
"I don't believe you." He crossed his arms in front of his chest. "There's more to this, and I'm going to find out one way or another. So you might as well spit it out now."
The girl simply bit her lip and averted her gaze.
Levi sighed. He should have known she wouldn't make this easy on him. "Ackerman, do you care about me?"
Mikasa imperceptibly stiffened at the question and turned her back toward him. She still refused to talk.
"It's nothing to be ashamed of if you do. Camaraderie is not unusual among soldiers who work closely together."
She seemed to relax a little at his statement. 'So that was it,' he mused.
He slowly rubbed the bridge of his nose with one hand. "I should have seen that coming. It's my own damn fault, for making you do those chores," Levi continued, his voice lower now. "I'm sure this goes without saying, but you're no longer obligated to return. My ankle is well enough for me to do my own cleaning, so I don't need your shitty work anymore."
At that last part, she whipped her head around to fix him with a fierce glare. That was more like it.
Seeing that his job here was finished, he made to leave her with her still mute adoptive brother. However, he had only made it a few meters down the hall when she called out to him, "Oh and Captain."
He stopped in his tracks. Levi didn't know if he should be amused or annoyed with her. Not betraying either emotion, he tilted his head to the side to let her know he was listening.
"See you at breakfast tomorrow."
A/N: Hope I didn't come across as Krista-bashing up there. On the contrary, I find the idea of her character rather interesting. I figured that part was as good an excuse as any to start calling her Historia. Also, big thanks to White Flower translations for bringing us English-only-speakers "A Choice With No Regrets." Levi's anecdote came straight from that. Anyway, hope you liked this chapter. I had to revise the mess hall scene quite a few times before I deemed it worthy of posting.