Breakfast the next morning didn't go all that well.
In fact, it was absolutely horrible. Judith's life seemed to want to start its miserable track immediately, not even giving her a day break. She got the terrible news one day and it was out to ruin her life the very next.
For starters, Judith woke up much later than was expected of her. She could care less what time was decent, but she had never been a late sleeper. It seemed as though her entire day was wasted if she decided to indulge in a few more hours of sleep. Not once had it proved to be worth it, as she usually missed out on the more important things. She was still regretting the time she had slept through the morning when Hamnet and Susannah joined the athletes at the arena. They had flown around for an entire hour while Vikus and Solovet were at the Fount, too far away to stop them. It was a once in a lifetime experience she would never be a part of. And all because she decided to snuggle up under the covers and close her eyes for "five more minutes."
This morning, however, was entirely different. She had no motivation to get out of bed. Not only that, but her entire body felt sore. Judith had gotten about two hours sleep in total, finding it difficult to fall into the depths of slumber.
As she slowly got up from her cocoon of bed sheets and thick covers, Judith yawned painfully and did her best to stretch out. It didn't do more than make her aware of everything that hurt so she stopped just as soon as she had started. Realizing she had to show up to breakfast eventually, Judith dressed as best she could and made her way down to the private mess hall where her family shared meals.
"That is no way to show up to breakfast, Judith," were the first words that came out of Solovet's mouth. "Or out in public in general." She was seated next to Vikus while Hamnet and Susannah sat across her. "You could have made more of an effort to fix that mess on top of your head."
Judith only shrugged as she found her way to her seat. Truly, she had forgotten about her hair, but now there was nothing she could do about it. She wasn't at breakfast to impress anyone. Even if there was some sort of hope for a normal romance, that possibility had been thrown out the window. Judith looked down with distaste as she sat at the table, taking notice of the platter of eggs and potatoes that had started to go cold.
"You might have found warm food if you had gotten here earlier," continued Solovet, not looking up from her meal. "If you were going to be late, you should have done something about your cheeks. So inflamed. It looks like you have been crying all night."
Susannah shifted uncomfortably in her seat while Hamnet shot a quick, almost unnoticeable glance towards them. He focused back on his food in no time and kept his gaze down.
"Are you going to judge my appearance all day, mother?" Judith challenged. "Let us move on to my clothes next, shall we?"
Solovet stopped her fork midway to her mouth and instead shot Judith a glare, seemingly surprised and amused with Judith's attitude. The bad kind of amused. "I do not like your tone," she said through clenched teeth. "Change it."
Judith was never one to defy her mother. She was far too intimidated of her. Solovet had an imposing aura that scared even her children. The other reason she refused to disrespect her mother was because deep down she knew it was wrong. Her parents were elders just like every other adult and therefore deserved respect. It was all about manners and consideration.
But Solovet had no consideration for Judith when she made the wedding arrangement, so why should the respect go both ways?
"There are so many things I wish to change about my life, mother. Not just my tone."
Solovet dropped her fork completely and wiped her mouth neatly with a napkin while she finished chewing. There was not a noise in that room while everyone waited for Solovet to react. It was a tension that slowly became painful for Judith. She was unsure how bad her mother's reaction would be. This was the worst thing she had ever done in terms of her relationship with her parents.
"The gnawers are rising again," Solovet said nonchalantly, pausing to clear her throat. She took a moment to sip her water before continuing to address her very confused family. "I am needed out on the field today and I must be free of distractions." She took another drink and then set a venomous gaze on her oldest daughter. "Trust me when I say, foolish girl, that this is the only reason you are being spared from my anger right now."
Judith wanted to cringe at the sight of her glaring mother. It would have been easy to break eye contact and accept defeat like everyone else before her, but she refused to give her mother the satisfaction.
With one final tip of her goblet to finish her drink, Solovet rose from the table with a slight frown. She had things to attend to with her soldiers, Judith knew, but she wasn't done with her mother yet.
"How could you?"
Solovet ignored Judith's comment and only brushed the crumbs from her armor. "Do not get on my bad side today, Judith. You will regret it."
"It could not be worse than what you have already done, mother," cried Judith, perhaps a bit more loudly than she intended. "You have already ruined my life."
Her mother audibly growled and it took all of Judith's strength not to flinch. A sigh was heard from her side and Judith shifted her focus to see her father shaking his head slowly.
"I knew this was a bad idea," he said softly.
"Be quiet, Vikus," Solovet hissed, still looking at their daughter.
Judith kept her eyes on Vikus and raised an arm to single him out. "How can you sit there and not care, Vikus? Do you not see how unfair this is? How can you let this go on?" she whimpered, the tears now falling freely from her eyes. "Or any of you?" she added with a glance to her siblings.
Susannah only sat there with wide eyes, not daring to look at anyone. She was still shocked to see her usually timid sister defying her mother openly. It was not something done ever, and the reason for that was that it only brought consequences. Bad consequences. There was simply no winning against Solovet.
A look at Hamnet revealed a very different nature. He seemed perfectly calm, still eating his food. It was as if he was in a different room entirely. The young man was unfazed by the entire scene happening before his eyes. Untouched by his sister's pain and suffering. Devoid of all emotions and prepared only to follow orders.
Mommy's perfect little soldier.
"I do care, Judith, but you must-"
"I said quiet, Vikus," spat Solovet, still not sparing a moment's glance. She was too focused on her prey, which at the moment was her own daughter. "I will not tolerate this disobedience," she told Judith in a firm voice. "It is a form of weakness. And that is something I do not accept. You can ask Hamnet all about it."
At that, Hamnet's hand movements faltered if only for a second. Solovet's words seemed to cause a reaction in him but he was back in control in no time. If Judith hadn't looked over at him just a split second before, she might have missed it. Then the indifference her brother was showing took over her judgment of him again and she waved it off in anger.
"You will go through with this marriage, Judith, and that is final."
Solovet's words seemed to knock the sense back into Judith with a hammer. Of course she knew she would have to go with it. There was no way Solovet was going to back out on this. Still, Judith had hoped with all her might that some miracle would happen, but it proved useless. Her fate had been signed and sealed, and now all that was left to do was exchange her vows with a stranger and wear a stupid crown.
Judith stood from her chair and glared back at her mother, not even bothering to cover her tears. She hated how her shoulders trembled slightly and her bottom lip quivered, but that was slowly reaching the bottom of the list. At the moment, her mother was threatening to take first place. The number one thing Judith hated in her life.
Almost immediately, Judith shook her head from the thought. It was wrong to hate your parents.
...But no one said anything about disliking them. And it was only common sense to want to stay away from people you disliked.
Turning swiftly, Judith walked towards the exit on shaky legs. The trembling had spread to her whole body and she had trouble seeing due to the tears in her eyes. No matter. She knew her way around the bloody palace well enough now to get back to her room without getting lost.
"Do not turn your back on me," her mother called after her with a tone that made Judith shiver. It was truly scary how menacing she could sound without raising her voice. "We are not finished here."
Reaching in her insides for one last bit of courage, Judith turned swiftly on her heel and hollered at the top of her lungs. "I am not scared of you anymore, mother!"
Solovet frowned deeply. "I am warning you."
"Warn me all you want!" she screamed through sobs. "Your threats mean nothing to me now. There is nothing you could do to make my life any more miserable."
Judith was aware that everyone had stopped making noise again, perhaps unprepared for her outburst. Her sister's eyes had grown wide again and her skin was unnaturally pale. Even her brother had a certain look over his face. Solovet had an unrecognizable expression and Vikus seemed to be pleading for her to stop. But she couldn't. Solovet needed to hear this.
"Nothing could be worse than being ordered to marry someone I do not know. Not only do I not want to get married, I never even wanted to move to the palace! You know I hate it here, and yet you forced me to come live here. I would do anything to have my old life back."
Again, the silence was uncomfortable. She wasn't sure if it was because they didn't expect her to scream at her mother or if the rest of them were just waiting for Solovet to run over and slit her throat. Whatever the case, it felt good to yell at her mother and vent her feelings all at once. She was about to sigh in relief when she realized her family wasn't looking at her.
They were looking at someone behind her.
Judith turned in time to see the retreating form of the oldest prince as he walked out of the room.
Her fiancé.
She immediately wanted to yell after him but stopped herself before the words could leave her mouth. Her heart dropped slightly when she realized that even if she somehow got him to come back so that she could apologize, she wouldn't mean it. She meant every word she had yelled at Solovet.
Not even bothering to turn back to finish her quarrel with her mother, Judith hung her head and walked out of the room, glad no one called after her. Instead of following the direction the prince had gone, she took the opposite direction towards her room. As she walked through the hallways, she couldn't help but think of him. She was suffering greatly but that in no way gave her the right to hurt someone else's feelings. Had he heard her every word, or had he only heard half? How had he taken it?
She was pulled from her thoughts when a light grasp on her shoulder turned her around completely. It drew a slight yelp from her lips since she didn't even hear the footsteps coming up behind her.
"It is only I, sister," said Hamnet slowly, raising his hands in mock surrender.
Judith took a moment for her heartbeat to go back to normal before responding. "You frightened me," is all she managed.
"Sorry," he mumbled. After giving her a sympathetic look, he frowned slightly. "Are you alright?"
"What think you, Hamnet? Honestly."
Her twin scratched the back of his head uneasily before meeting her gaze again. "I know what you are going through, and I-"
"You know what I am going through? I doubt that very much," she said, crossing her arms.
Hamnet slapped his open hands against his hips in desperation. "Fine, I do not know what you are going through. I just want to reassure you that things will be alright."
"That is a fact for you, Hamnet, not for me. You will always be alright. You are mother's favorite, after all."
"Speaking of mother-"
"Oh, perfect," she cried, throwing her arms up. "She sent you, right? You are only here because she sent you. You are not here because you care," Judith scoffed. "You are just like her."
Hamnet's jaw twitched as he struggled to keep his composure. "Solovet is only concerned that the prince will complain to his father. It is possible that with his influence, the king might choose to call the wedding off."
"Hamnet, that is the best possible scenario for me," she smiled. There was nothing happy about her mood, but she couldn't deny that the slight chance of that happening had given her new hope.
"Not the best possible scenario for you, sister," Hamnet said quickly. "If the wedding gets called off, you will still have to deal with Solovet for all of this. The outburst in front of the prince is not something she will forget in the next decade. And if the wedding goes through, the one that might hold this against you will be the prince himself."
"I expect it from Solovet. And as for the prince, I do not have high hopes for him either."
Hamnet frowned at that. "Why is that? Has he given you any reason to think he will not be a perfect gentlemen with you?"
"Of course not," she said with an eye roll. "I have never even spoken to him, if you can believe it."
"If anything ever happens, all you have to do is say the word," he said darkly.
Judith took a moment to register his words. "What mean you?"
"I mean that if he ever hurts you or disrespects you in any way, let me know and I will take care of it."
Before she thought her actions through, Judith reached out and slapped her brother hard across the face. The sound echoed off the walls and amplified its resonance. The only reaction from Hamnet was the surprised look in his eyes as she shook her hand in pain. It had hurt her hand more than it had hurt his face probably, but she didn't care. She was completely repulsed by him and his need to use violence for everything. She saw the irony in her decision to hit him, but it was nowhere close to the violence he was referring to. Judith didn't even want to think about what Hamnet meant by "take care of him."
"I hardly know you anymore," she whispered to him.
Her brother was changing for the worse, and it pained her to know Solovet was behind it all. She remembered what her mother had said about asking Hamnet of the consequences of disobedience. What kind of training -or torture- had she made him endure to mold the perfect soldier?
It was a thought that didn't linger in her head for long. Hamnet was in that position because he wanted to be. His enthusiasm for sword training and spars with other soldiers was close to unbearable. He had chosen his path in life, unlike Judith. She wanted nothing to do with her inevitable future.
Hamnet took a step forward and tried to reach for her hands, ignoring the red throbbing skin of his cheek.
"I only wanted to help."
"You are much too late for that," she answered, stepping out of his reach. "You should have done something before this arrangement was made final."
"Mother made the-"
"'Speaking of mother,'" she mocked in her best impression of him, even standing on her toes to reach his height and adopting a frown. "You should go back to her lest she starts missing her favorite pet."
It was cruel, but there was nothing else she could think of saying. There was probably very little he could have done about the wedding arrangement, but the effort would have sufficed for her. He had promised her when they were children that he would always be there to protect her. And now he was idly standing by as her life was torn apart.
What had she told herself earlier? That it was a good thing to distance herself from people she didn't like, right? She needed to live by that concept. It had started with her mother, and now, painfully, it would continue with her brother.
Giving Hamnet one last look that made him understand she didn't want to to be followed, Judith left her brother stunned and slightly hurt as she continued her walk back to her room. The day had only started and yet, sleep seemed so inviting all of a sudden.