The dress I examine is expensive. It is far more expensive than anything I've ever owned, but admittedly lovely. The fabric is silky soft and the darkest shade of blue. The sleeveless, v-neck bodice is embroidered with shiny silver threads in a floral design and the skirt is layered with shiny silver and dark blue sequins.
This is lovely, Mama!
I sign eagerly to my smiling foster mother before placing the dress against me and turning to the mirror for inspection.
"Not as lovely as you, sweetheart." My Mama replies with laughter filled eyes. Even though we are not related by blood, the bond between Kaede and me has grown over the years, and I can't even imagine a time when she wasn't in all aspects my mother. "Now hurry up and change so I can make sure no alterations are needed. Don't forget to put on the matching shoes!"
After a quick nod, I shut the drapes and take off my cotton summer dress. I slip into the evening gown carefully so as not to rip the sheer fabric. Lifting the hem that rests just above my feet, I slip into the fancy five-inch heels.
While I feel that the dress has been purchased for the tea party we're holding at our home tomorrow, I briefly wonder why my mama brought such a pricey dress with shoes and accessories to boot!
We were excited to see higher than normal returns on our investments on our bank statements last week. While it was far better than last year, the return wasn't quite enough to cover tuition for my first year of college.
"Rin, dear, what's on your mind?" my mama asks before coughing into her handkerchief; she has been ill for longer days lately and I worry over her well being often. I sigh heavily before facing her.
I thought we agreed to cut back on spending, Mama!
My glare bounces off my mother. She waves me off and motions me to turn around. It's only then that I study myself. The dress is too revealing for my liking but it fits like a perfect glove. With the matching heels, I look taller than my usual height and I decide the look is flattering on me.
I wonder what Sesshomaru would think if he saw me wearing something like this?
I suppress a smile knowing exactly what his reaction would be! There is no way he could keep his hands off me, especially if I had my hair done right. Kagome always said that the right hairstyle can make a guy go nuts.
"Don't worry about the books, or your college fees, dear. It's all taken care of." My mama reassures.
She lifts an eyebrow when I face her. I panic at her signature skeptical eyebrow that indicates she's unearthed a hidden secret.
"Someone's excited about showing off the dress, hm?" My mama smirks as she motions me to sit on a stool and face the dresser mirror.
"You're your mother's exact copy. You both have the same hair, the same eyes, the same warm personality. She would have been very happy to have seen you like this. All grown up and so lady-like."
I feel a warm wetness on my shoulder and look up at my mama.
Over twenty years ago, Kaede had been hired as my mother's personal maid. She had been present when my mother and father fell in love, during their wedding, during my birth and through the tragic event in which my parents had been taken from me. I feel a pang of sadness in my heart.
Reaching up, I wipe her tear and squeeze the hand that's on my shoulder before signing.
It would have been nice to have them here, but I know they're watching over me even if I don't see them. They're in a happier place and I know they are happy for me. So please don't be sad about it, Mama.
My encouragement seems to work because after a few moments, my Mama wipes her eyes with the back of her shirt sleeve.
"You're right, dear. I'm sure they are very happy for you."
Placing both hands on my shoulders and her cheek on my head, my Mama turns us around so we both face the mirror.
"My goodness but you do look stunning, Rin."
I smile happily in response. Although my hair is piled in a messy up-do, which will likely come undone very soon, I look mature. Funny what a fancy dress can do to boost a girl's ego.
"I bet Kohaku won't be able to keep your hands off of this weekend."
My eyes meet my mother's before I sign again.
What do you mean?
Tapping her forehead with the palm of her hand - as she often did when she had forgotten something - my mama explains further.
"I'm so sorry, sweetheart. I totally forgot to tell you that the Tajiyas have kindly agreed to assist us financially. In lieu of this, I have invited them for tea and dinner to show our gratitude. The neighbours are invited, too, but don't worry, it's just a thin crowd with close family members and friends. It's nothing big."
Despite being one of the few remaining elite pure blood human families, the Tajiyas are not so wealthy as to financially support another family entirely. In response, I nod and face the mirror, but my thoughts are reeling with fear of the dreaded engagement that took place many years ago. Surely, this couldn't be the reason for the party, could it?
The Tajiyas are very kind for doing this, Mama, but we'll have to make an arrangement to pay them back. Once I graduate and start working, you won't have to worry about money anymore. I'll make sure that you're taken care of, I promise.
My mother smiles softly and sitting next to me, puts a matching bracelet on my wrist.
"Now what kind of mother would I be if I can't ensure my daughter has a prosperous future, hm? You have your whole life ahead of you and I want you to spend it being happy and not have to worry about money, and especially an old woman like me."
Before I can reassure my mother that it is my responsibility to take care of her because I love her, she holds both my hands together softly.
"Everything will be alright. Don't worry about a thing, child."
With a soft smile, I lean into my mother's chest and let her pat my head as I inhale her comforting, familiar scent. As always, it calms me within moments, and I immediately forget everything about the stupid engagement. It was a very long time ago and I'm sure no one remembers it either...
"So what are you going to go now, Sessh?" Inuyasha asks as he uncouthly chews on his large sandwich.
A old part of me would be disgusted at his manners, but another part is too excited to bother. I had just stormed out of my father's study after a heated discussion of refusing anything and everything to do with his fortune, his title and his wealth. Inuyasha had followed in tow, partly because of his own reasons, such as his pregnant girlfriend and his love for local law enforcement. Despite our differences over the years, in this one moment, I feel more like brothers than I ever have before.
"Kouga and I found a small office in the outskirts of the city. With the money we've saved so far, we will pay for a year of rent up front. I'm really hoping to rake in some good clients." I explain, reaching for my coffee.
I don't mention Rin at this point, even though rumors have been heavy about the two of us going out. With the ring I've been holding on to, I hope to announce our engagement properly, but there are a few exceptions who are privy to the fact. My brother, his miko included, and Kouga.
"So are you leaving Rin here?" Inuyasha asks with bits of food flying out of his mouth and landing on my sleeve. "Oh, don't make that face, dumbass, just spill the beans. Are you guys eloping then? Her mother will have a shit fit."
The ridiculous look on my brother's face is ridiculous. Of course only Inuyasha would think of something so utterly brash. Clearing my throat, I clarify things for him.
"No, we're not but I have been thinking of ways to make things official between us." Even I though I look at my own sandwich, my thoughts are far from hunger. Rin's lovely face materializes in my mind and it leaves me with a warmth I never thought to posses.
"You're going to wife her! I knew the rock you were holding onto wasn't a promise ring!" Inuyasha blurts, and I'm surprised to see that the food remains in his mouth.
I simply nod in response and the look of gusto on my brother's face is priceless. With a large smile, Inuyasha pats my back.
"Alright, bro! She's a great catch."
"And what about you? Do you plan to mark Kagome anytime soon?" I inquire as I check the time. Inuyasha's face turns solemn and he nods but after some time.
"I want to, but she said she ain't ready yet. I'm not forcing her one way or the other." Inuyasha explains. He had been having some troubles with the outgoing miko and from the looks of it, things between them are still rocky.
"Hn." I respond.
I remain silent for the remainder of our lunch and Inuyasha seems appreciative of it as he slaughters a second sandwich and slurps his soup. In about half an hour, I'm due to meet with Kouga so we can review our business plan for submission to the bank. Depending on the approval we receive, I could easily pay for Rin's education. We will have to share an apartment with Kouga for now but as business grows, I plan on buying us a home.
There is a certain fulfillment that comes with knowing that you can shape your own life, but without reason and someone to share that happiness, there is only emptiness in one's path. I feel my lips tugging into a smile. Rin has changed so much about me and I'm eager to start the beginning of our lives together.
Altogether there are around twenty people present for afternoon tea. This is the largest group we've ever entertained and my mother had gone as far as renting additional tables and chairs for the backyard as well. The entire house is abuzz with people chatting, talking and snacking.
I am busy nodding my head to Kohaku's college stories. Most of them are not funny, and in fact many of them I find utterly ridiculous, but in the interest of being polite, I smile and nod. Every now and then I glance to Kohaku's side where his friend - Shippo - is standing with an indifferent facade, his eyes glaring daggers in my direction.
Shippo is a fox demon and Kohaku's best friend. With bright red hair and piercing green eyes, he is quite the handsome fellow, but unfriendly vibes coming from him are heavy. Feeling queasy under his scrutiny, I try my best to focus on Kohaku instead.
Not much has changed about him since I saw him last. His hair is the loveliest shade of brown and his eyes match his hair color. He stands slightly shorter than Shippo, but taller than me of course. From what I hear, he has become quite the athlete in school, sadly, his conversation skills have not improved in the slightest.
"So yeah, it was darn hilarious, Rin!" Kohaku says and faces Shippo before laughing loudly. In turn I frown before placing my teacup on a side table.
I think it is offensive to those who don't have a choice but to be homeless. It's not a lifestyle for them. I don't think it's funny at all what you and your friends did.
Both Kohaku and Shippo look at me with a blank gaze.
"Rin, you know I can't follow you if you do it so quickly." Kohaku explains and I roll my eyes. From what I remember, Kohaku knows some sign language but not enough to follow me through sentences, a fact I had forgotten. Before I can sign slowly again, Shippo speaks up.
"She does not think it's funny." He quickly clarifies. I feel myself groan deeply. Shippo's response, while more or less accurate, are not exactly my words.
"Oh come on, Rin, the point of Halloween is do stupid stuff and get away with it." Kohaku defends. I just shake my head.
Dressing up as a homeless person and then pretending to hang out with them only to drive away in an expensive car is not something I will accept. It's awful! I sign and Kohaku looks at me dumbly.
"Well, you don't have to do it if it bothers you but I think it gave us all a good laugh." Kohaku says looking at his friend, and Shippo smirks for the first time since he arrived.
Please excuse me.
Reaching for my cup, I decide to go to the snack table and busy myself with other people before I lose my mind and senses speaking with Kohaku.
On my way to the snack table, the door bell chimes, so I detour and answer the door.
Sesshomaru!
I mouth wordlessly when his handsome face stares back at me. His eyes rove over my frame and I feel every inch being kissed by his intense stare. As blood rushes to my face, I feel naked and vulnerable for the first time in my dress.
When our eyes meet, his brows are lifted up to his bangs and his mouth is agape before he shuts it closed and clears his throat.
"Good evening, Rin." His formal greeting is surprising to me, but then so is his state of dress. His formal suit and tie is very becoming on him and unlike the usual pony tail he usually wears his hair in, he has left his hair open. The long, silver locks appear silky and I have an urge to touch them but hold back. "You look stunning, by the way."
Thanks. You don't look too bad yourself.
I wink and see the pupils of his eyes narrow slightly. A common trait for predator demons like him to indicate how they feel through their body language. I suppress a giggle.
Were you invited?
Sesshomaru tilts his head slightly before shaking his head. "No, but I was hoping for a few minutes of your mother's time if she's available."
"Don't stand at the door all day, Rin, invite our guest - "
My Mama stops mid-way once she faces Sesshomaru. Some odd exchange takes place between them and I can tell by my mama's hardened glare that it is not friendly.
"What are you doing here?" My mama comes to stand in between us and hides me behind her arm protectively. Thankfully the high heels give me some advantage and I am able to see Sesshomaru over my mama's shoulder.
"Good evening, ma'am," Sesshomaru's voice is level. He bows respectfully. "I apologize for the intrusion but I was hoping for a few minutes of your time."
"For what?" My Mama clips and I'm more than curious now as to why she is being so cold and distant. Typically, she is friendly and open to visitors.
I can see Sesshomaru's jaw harden and his eyes narrow very slightly before his veil of indifference is back on his face.
"I would like to ask for Rin's hand in marriage."
I gasp in silence as my hands cover my mouth and my heart begins to race. He and I often discussed cohabiting, but I had no idea that he would be so serious as to consider marrying me!
By the gods! What would my Mama say? Would she agree to this? Since I am not over eighteen, I can't consent to the proposal but am I truly ready for marriage? What if my mama said yes? Would Sesshomaru be willing to wait until I'm ready?
I try to move around my mama but she holds me firmly in place. Tugging at her dress is useless as she has not yet broken gaze with Sesshomaru.
The silence between him and my mama that makes me even more nervous. The tense atmosphere feels more like a battlefield than a house call. I desperately want to intervene and ask both people whom I love to come inside but I am immobile and silent.
After what felt like several minutes, my mama finally breathes deeply.
"Rin has been spoken for since she was nine years old. I apologize that you weren't privy to this information before but we like to keep things down low in this household."
"What?" Sesshomaru barely whispers and his eyebrows furrow together, no doubt trying to comprehend what my mama had revealed.
By the gods! I shake my head vigorously and begin pushing at my mama's frame. If only I had a chance to explain things from my side, I'm sure I could end this horrible blunder!
"In fact, this party announces her engagement to Kohaku Tajiya of the Tajiya family." My Mama adds and her grip on my arm becomes stronger.
Frustrated now that both Sesshomaru and Kaede are pretending that I'm invisible, I increase my struggle against my mama but her hold does not waver. I keep wishing for Sesshomaru to look in my direction but that doesn't happen.
Hoping for some sign to show that he's upset or angry is pointless. The look on his face hardens even more. The warmth of his amber gaze turns ice cold and gone is the Sesshomaru I had come to love, replaced with the man I had met about a year ago. This was the Sesshomaru Taisho that others feared and respected.
"My sincerest apologies. I had - I will not bother you again." Sesshomaru bows and without a single glance in my direction, turns around and walks away.
When my mother closes the door and releases me, I try to rush around her but she shakes her head. The coldness in her eyes is unwavering. Holding my wrist firmly, she drags me up the stairs and into her room.
What the hell was that about? You have a lot of explaining to do! I struggle to move my hands as fast as I form my thoughts. This is one of those moments I wish I could yell and scream but all I can offer is silence.
My heart starts racing and a nasty, uneasy feeling washes over me. I clap hard twice to get my mother's attention when she doesn't face me.
My mama is sitting on a chair holding a small velvet case in her lap.
"Yes, Rin. What is it? You're going pale." Getting up and coming in my direction, she places a hand on my forehead. I push it away and make some distance between us.
What is it? I've just found out that I'm getting engaged to Kohaku! I thought no one gave it a second thought since no one had said anything in over seven years! So how does everything change in one night?
My mother blinks innocently and smiles, completely unaffected now by the look of horror on my face.
"Mr. Tajiya contacted me a few months ago, Rin. I didn't say anything because, quite frankly, I didn't think you would have a problem with it. I remember how excited you were to marry Kohaku when you were a child so I didn't think anything of it when we went ahead and made arrangements for you. I'm sure you had expected it." Mama explains calmly.
Frustrated at the entire situation, I fold my arms across my chest and turn my back to my Mama. My feelings aree so messed up that I just need some time to think things through.
"The Tajiya family is wealthy and well-known. They come from good stock and have an excellent reputation and high status with well-known demon families as well. How could I have said no when the elderly Mr. Tajiya came forward with the offer? After all, we were discussing your future. But you have no need to worry, dear. You do not have to get married immediately. Part of the agreement was to have you finish college of your choosing first. When you're done your education, we can worry about wedding preparations then. As for the engagement party, Mr. Tajiya is just keen on introducing you as Kohaku's fiance as soon as possible! His son has already completed his college education and is moving on to university sometime next year. Oh, but he is a handsome one, Rin, who would have thought such a boy with wobbly knees could grow to be such a handsome rogue! Just yesterday I met him at the mall when I was searching for your accessories and..."
The sinking feeling in my gut makes me light headed and I take a seat on my chair. I never gave the marriage arrangement a second thought, because I knew I would have more than enough time to explain my interest in Sesshomaru. Learning that the arrangement is not only being carried forward but is taking place right now is just too much for me to handle.
I look at my shaking hands and close them into fists. Every atom in my body screams for me to run to my beloved Sesshomaru and explain this huge misunderstanding. My Sesshomaru! I can only imagine the hurt and pain he must be going through at learning about this stupid arrangement. I must go to him. I need to go to him!
At the sound of my name, I blink at my mother's face. "Rin, dear, are you sure you're okay? You look very pale."
Unable to control my tears anymore, I rub my arms to control my shaking limbs.
Mama, I won't marry Kohaku. I'm in love with someone else.
In an instant, my mother's face changes. "You're in love with someone else," she repeats.
I nod in response. My heart thuds hard behind my chest and the oncoming of a headache is imminent.
"Who is it?" My mother's voice remains eerily calm.
Sesshomaru Taisho. You just met him.
I write down his name on a notepad and make sure my mother reads it before continuing with my hands.
We've been seeing each other for over six months now, Mama, and we're in love. He recently passed his bar exams and he's going to open his own practice in the city this fall. I want to go to school in the city and my plan was to ask you for permission to stay with him. I sign with shaky hands before facing my Mama.
The unflappable look on her face only adds to my anxiety. She seemed to be listening intently to every word I sign but her eyes remain blank. I have only ever seen that look on her face once before when we had a falling out about the high school I wanted to attend. She relentlessly forced her decision for me to study in the suburbs. After several silent moments, she finally smiles.
"It's okay to be in love, Rin. But the person you're in love with doesn't have to be the one that you marry and settle down with. It's quite normal. I know you're young now and things don't quite make sense to you but they will."
Things don't make sense to me, Mama. I want to spend my life with him because I love him. I won't marry anyone other than him.
I point to Sesshomaru's name.
"Rin," my mother says with a heavy sigh and, sitting next to me, holds my hands and rubs them soothingly. Her face appears calm but her voice is anything but.
"The Taishos are not a family you want to be involved with, and especially not Sesshomaru. Apart from being the single heir to the Taisho name, he is unstable, reckless, a troublemaker and the worst sort of man. I love you, Rin, not because I'm obligated, but because you are a daughter to me. And, as my daughter, I refuse to have those wretched Taishos taint you!"
But Mama you have it all wrong, Sesshomaru-
"That's enough, Rin," my Mama clips harshly. "I won't hear of this again. Whatever fun you've had with Sesshomaru Taisho, leave it here for good. You deserve to be with someone who will love you and respect you. The Tajiyas are a good family and you will be very happy with them."
Tears flow heavily down my face and it becomes more and more difficult to breathe. With shaky fingers, I manage at least one more sentence.
He was here to propose to me, Mama. He was here to ask for my hand in marriage! And I was going to say 'yes'! I want to say 'yes'!
Holding my face in her hands, she wipes my tears with the pads of her thumbs. Shakily, I lean into her chest and weep bitterly at the cruel turn of fate. "My sweet, Rin. So you love this Taisho boy but don't you love your mama as well?"
I nod.
"So, just do this one thing for your mama and I promise you'll always be happy." I feel her cool lips against my skin, placing a small kiss on my forehead, before she rubs my arms gently.
"You're a talented and beautiful girl, my dear. So don't be surprised to find many men who would be eager to snatch your hand but from the two, I can only give my blessing to you for one because I know he comes from good stock. He will not only care for you but he will respect and cherish you and not make empty promises. I promise on my life that the Tajiyas are the only choice for your happiness."
I shake even more erratically in my mama's arms in despair and self loathing. I blame myself for all that has happened tonight. Had I been brave enough to tell my mother six months ago that I loved Sesshomaru and wanted to marry him, I would have saved myself all the heartache I feel now.
Losing the one I love is not an easy pill to swallow, but what's even more difficult to digest is that I am not willing to lose another that I love just the same. My Mama holds me until I stop shaking. When I'm ready to look at her, I bravely smile and come forth with my decision.
I love you, Mama. I'll do as you have decided.
My mama smiles brightly and wipes a tear falling down her cheek. "Oh my brave, brave, girl. I promise you will never regret this. Now, let's get you all cleaned up, hm? I bet everyone is wondering where you've run off to and we can't keep the guests waiting."
I'd like to fix my own makeup if that's alright with you. Can you give me a few minutes please, Mama? I won't be long. I sign, willing with every bone in my body not to rip the dress I wear to shreds and rush after Sesshomaru.
"Of course."
My mama closes the door shut behind her softly. I hear the dull patter of her feet as she climbs down the stairs and assures the guests that everything is alright and it won't be long before I join them again. The guests begin chatting again.
The reflection that stares back at me from the mirror is afflicted, despite the beautiful shiny dress it wears. My mascara is a mess and cleanup will take about ten to fifteen minutes, but the despair in my heart is something that can not be easily fixed.
With a silent scream, I fall face first into my bed and sob mercilessly into the linens.
There was some interest for this story a while back so I decided to continue it. Yes, I have to go back and change some POV issues with the first chapter because writing goals. *le sigh*
Anyway, kindly leave a review so I know how I'm doing and if y'all be wantin' me to continue. Thank ya!