A/N: For some reason this is the only thing I can write at the moment. Oh well.

Should be some Autobot action in the next chapter. Psychopathic Silverbolt, here we come!

Monitor Duty Rock/R&B/Dance/Pop/Classical/Rap/Trance/Folk

The first thing Katie learned was that there were sixteen Decepticons on Earth.

The eight Seekers, obviously; the leaders, Megatron, who transformed into a big, twin-rotor helicopter – the rotors on stubby little wings - ("You will address him as Lord at all times," Starscream admonished) and his ''consort'' Thunderblast, who transformed into a fashionably lilac tracked SAM battery with, Katie was amused to discover, decals which read "G1-RLP0W-3R" (You will address her as Lady at all times", Starscream admonished); Shockwave the Science Guy (Skywarp's name for the poor blue M142 Abrams tank) - Katie respectfully declined his request for blood, skin, hair, and saliva samples; Barricade the beeping scout who accompanied Katie and the eight Seekers' holoforms back to Apartment 221B in his 2014 Mustang Shelby GT500 vehicle mode, which Katie felt far too good about sitting in the front seat pretending to drive every day; Soundwave the communications officer ("Radiohead" to everyone bar Megatron); Knock Out, the team's ''official'' doctor, who transformed into a fabulous cherry red Jaguar XKR and had the demeanour of Louis Spence mixed with a panicky nurse mixed with James Bond; and Knock Out's medical auxiliary, Breakdown: a hulking blue Mastiff APC with a giant hammer in each arm, who was the result of someone taking every member of Earth, Wind & Fire then adding Martin Luther King Jr. and Bob Marley, blending them together, and giving them basic medical training.

The second thing Katie learned was that all sixteen Decepticons liked Earth music a lot, and were also very good at getting it off the internet with their 500 core processors or whatever it was they had.

They each had a turn at monitor duty (i.e. sitting in front of the big green holoscreen and watching for things happening like energy spikes or whatever), and they each played their own personal tunes whenever they got control of the base's speakers. Fairly soon, Katie had worked out which music went with whom – excepting the Eurythmics' "Sweet Dreams (Are Made Of This)", which was played at random intervals by everyone.

Megatron, who sat at the monitor and either sharpened/polished his giant broadswords, enjoyed Earth's classical music. His favourite was an obscure piece called (Soundwave looked it up for Katie) "Requiem for a Fury", a tune which was emotive in the extremes, made Katie imagine a huge battle taking place entirely in slow motion while the camera zoomed in on each individual happening, and should have been played in the film Titanic at least once.

Thunderblast kicked her sizeable heels up onto the desk, hi-fived Slipstream, gently fist-bumped Katie, and blasted Shania Twain's "Man! I Feel Like A Woman" so loud that it was like extremely feminist thunder echoing through the base. Katie and Slipstream cheered while every male Decepticon on base grumbled but Katie had definitely caught Knock Out nodding his head in time to the music and singing along a few times.

Soundwave favoured Earth's dubstep movement, specifically a very bass-y song called "20% Cooler" by Ken Ashcorp. Katie herself was utterly terrified by the line which went something along the lines of "Twilight Sparkle up in the party". Soundwave seemed to like it, though, as he sat and wubbed his way through whatever assignment he had, occasionally opening a file which was just a picture of a blue and silver femme with door-wings and a battle-crown. (Skywarp advised not mentioning that in earshot of the white communications officer; which was everywhere.)

Barricade liked a lot of Take That and/or the component members of Take That for reasons which were never fully explained to Katie, especially Gary Barlow's "Since I Saw You Last". The Mustang would whistle and beep to himself in time to the words, while he snapped his fingers (he was the only one who could do that) and was especially alert for a police-spec Chevrolet Camaro ZL1 who was apparently called Goldbug and was his mortal enemy or something.

Shockwave was strangely into Stevie Wonder, and his personal favourite was "Superstitious", which could have been transcribed from a rant from Shockwave himself. The scientist's little head-mounted wings flapped enthusiastically in time to the music, and he was scarily good at the Wave.

Knock Out winked at everyone and played Maroon Five's "Moves Like Jagger". Which was awkward, especially when Skywarp, Barricade, and even Thunderblast (sometimes) habitually winked back. Breakdown, by contrast, had no qualms about pounding out "POWER" by Kanye West while he worked, and also had no issues with any of the language he looked up on the internet for the definitions, despite mentally scarring everyone else and causing Shockwave to have an extremely awkward conversation with Katie about what exactly would cause a human to interface with their carrier.

Starscream could play mean air guitar, and he had "Starlight" by Slash screaming from all the speakers. The song made Slipstream completely melt and actually snuggle up to him, which was an incredible departure from their regular back-and-forth verbal sniping, and scared Katie beyond belief.

Thundercracker tapped on the desk and was incredibly predictable, because he always played AC/DC's "Thunderstruck" at max volume (Katie literally fell over when it got to the loud part the first time he played it) and headbanged enough to have Skywarp imitating him with a completely straight face, which was hilarious.

Skywarp himself listened to "Jerk It Out" by the Caesars, and sometimes warped around the base carrying a speaker to boost the noise. Everyone else seemed to like his choice of song, and he once managed to get backup singers comprised of Barricade, Sunstorm and Dirge before the end of his shift.

Ramjet said that no, he hated Earth music, yes, he was going to play Justin Bieber, and no, he was not lying. He didn't choose "Black Betty" by Ram Jam for the reason that the band didn't share his initials and half of his name and not because of Skywarp and Thundercracker's made-up lyrics (probably stolen directly from a Rayman game, Katie gathered).

Dirge, in his quest to make sure nothing could hurt him, only ever played "The Safety Dance" by Men Without Hats, as he originally misunderstood the title then decided he liked the music anyway. He also took the music's instructions literally, and didn't talk to anyone who didn't dance.

Thrust played "It's My Life" by Bon Jovi because, according to Skywarp, he had issues with being in a team of 8 almost identical Seekers and wanted to be somehow distinguishable. Also, it sounded epic as frag, in Thrust's own words.

Sunstorm did the dance from Saturday Night Fever while he put "Disco Inferno" on the speakers, although he did tell anyone who would listen that their music was just as important to him if not more. Unfortunately, Disco Inferno's unique lyrics led to yet another awkward conversation between Katie and Shockwave about why humans attempted to combust their offspring.

Slipstream, upholding the remarkably gothy image she had been projecting with varying degrees of success, listened to Orianthi's "Shut Up and Kiss Me", which led to no work getting done as Starscream took her up on the offer and Skywarp had to do the femme Seeker's shift.

So it was that Katie eventually had to have her own song playing. And she chose the Dropkick Murphys' "I'm Shipping Up To Boston" just because she liked it, and because it gave her an excuse to teach Slipstream and Thunderblast Irish dancing, to the amusement of both their respective significant others (i.e. Starscream and Megatron).

And then Skywarp, insufferable as he was, used the lyrics of Katie's song to announce they were going on a mission.