Meanwhile (Sequel to In the Negative)

by Mojotheomegawolf

Trouble always comes at the most inopportune moments in Jasper. With the imminent transfer of leadership on everybody's minds, there is already enough stress to go around, but with a rebellion stirring and an unfortunate hunting accident which leaves Kate crippled, and forces Humphrey to find a way to fill her pawprints, it seems as though things could not get any worse.

3. The Dishonored Alpha

Chapter 3: The Dishonored Alpha

Every day was a struggle for Miles, as his ongoing battle with his alcoholism had not been kind to his health. He lied down at night feeling sick and woke up feeling sick the next morning, and the only way he could make himself feel better would be to tap into the berries he had near the back of his den and start eating. But he did not stop once the illness had been suppressed; he never did. He would proceed to consume the berries for the remainder of the day until, by the time night rolled around, he was almost too drunk to stand. It was then that he would stagger to the place where he slept and pass out, as without the alcohol in his system, he did not know if he would be able to find slumber- just as he was uncertain if he could get out of bed in the morning without it.

It was apparent to any who saw him that his addiction was taking a turn for the worst.

His eyes had begun to sink into his skull slightly and the fur on his body began to fade, but the worst part of this fight was the part that only he could see, and that was the depression.

He never did quite understand if he still ate berries because he was depressed that he had lost his job, or if he was depressed because, despite the promise he made to himself and to Kate to sober up when he was dishonorably discharged from his position as an alpha a little over five months ago, he still ate berries; but he did know that if he didn't stop, eventually there would come a time when he would pass out in a slump of intoxication and never wake up.

So why couldn't he just stop?

There were times in these past few months when he was on the brink of finally saying enough and putting the berries down for good, but each time he would set his mind to fulfill his promise, he would fall asleep, then wake up the next morning, and the vicious cycle would continue.

Still, there were many more times when he simply wished for an end. As an alpha, he was a functioning alcoholic, but since his termination, he had nothing to do besides wallow in self-loathing, and what else was there to comfort him? He had no friends anymore. They had all given up on him, because they knew that he had given up on himself a long time ago. The berries were his only friends now, but they only offered him temporary relief from his ailments, and sometimes, it seemed, they weren't his friends at all. On more occasions than he would like to admit, the berries were in fact his worst enemy. Guilt for his actions clouded his every thought, and the berries only made these emotions worse. He knew that he had let her down, and he knew that he did not deserve her friendship, even if, in spite of all he had done, she was still willing to be there for him if only he would allow her to be. Even after he learned that Humphrey had survived, he could not bring himself to look Kate in the face because he couldn't bear to see the disappointment in her eyes when she saw him like this, so he shut himself away from her completely.

And in spite of this, she still cared for his well-being.

Her loyalty to him as her friend was tremendous, and he loved her dearly for it, but over the course of the last few months, he made it a point to pretend that he hated her. For the most part, he would simply avoid her, but when avoiding her was not an option, he would speak to her in a terse, rude fashion which portrayed little interest in her presence. It hurt him deeply to treat Kate in such a fashion after she had always been so good to him, but he knew that what he was doing was probably going to kill him. He did not want her to still be close to him when they inevitably laid his body to rest. He could not bear to hurt her like that, so he found that the easiest way to pass on without causing more emotional damage was to make her hate him.

In spite of his best efforts, though, Kate still cared, and secretly she still kept an eye on him, but she hated what she saw.

It was painful for her to see Miles literally self-destructing before her eyes, but she knew that there was nothing that she could do. She had tried to help him before, but in order for her to help him, he first needed to want help, and she never saw such desire.

This didn't surprise her, though, as he had always been the prideful type, kinda like her. She knew that he would rather die than admit to anyone that he was weak or that he needed help, but if ever there was a time for him to find the courage to cry out for assistance it was now. She had considered organizing an intervention which would force Miles to go to rehab, but since he was an adult and not of immediate family she was not within her rights to do so. She did not know what she was going to do about him, because the last thing she wanted was to have to bury him, but with the way his habits and health continued to get worse, she would not be surprised if she would have to do so within the year.

What particularly bothered her about this whole situation, though, was the seeming lack of care on the behalf of her father and everybody else who once claimed to be his friend, but her father's apathy surprised her the most. Based on what her mother and father had told her over the course of her life, Miles and her father had been best friends since they went to Alpha School. He was the best man at her father's wedding, and was right there beside him whenever she and her little sister were born. In fact, many of Kate's fondest memories growing up involved Miles in some fashion, because he was practically her second father, but as she looked closer at their history, she could see that he and her father had been in a falling out for a long time.

It always seemed like her father was constantly bailing him out of something, be it that he got arrested for aggravated assault or stood on grounds for job termination when he blew hunts and nearly got somebody killed; when he began his descent into alcoholism was probably when her father had begun to grow weary of saving him.

At first, though, Miles was a casual drinker and was responsible in his consumption. However, as time wore on, it became apparent that he was developing a problem. It was a subtle transition at first, and honestly understandable given the circumstances presented to him. This was the year that Winston had assigned him as an instructor at Alpha School, and at this stage in his life he had met somebody with whom he wished to spend the rest of eternity, and once he returned in the spring, he was going to pop the question and take some time off to spend with her, just the two of them. He bore a great amount of stress that winter, as he had yet to grow his bones in the field of teaching, and he would wind down by laying back in his den after the day's lessons and eating a few berries just to relax before he went to sleep. However, over the course of his first winter as an instructor, when he was teaching Kate's generation of students, something happened which he did not expect; something that ultimately changed his life forever.

It was obvious to him as soon as they embraced upon his return that she had something on her mind, but he shoved that off to the side, because he had an incredibly important question to ask her. He stammered over his words as any nervous fool in love would as he laid his heart on the line, but before he could ask the big question she stopped him; and that was when she broke his heart.

She laid it on him gently, but what a little space and time had done to their relationship still hit him pretty hard. She said that it happened out of the blue, and that it was the last thing that she had expected or desired to happen, but while Miles was away, she had found somebody else who stole her heart. Miles was deeply hurt by this news, and when he met the individual for whom she had fallen he wanted to tear him apart, but he could tell just by looking at them that they were perfect for each other. She glowed in his presence in a fashion which he had never seen while she was with him; so he told her that he was happy for her, but even a pup could tell that he was lying.

Following this incident, he fell into a deep depression and his rate of consumption skyrocketed. Kate was old enough to understand at this point what was going on with her friend and when she found out why, it upset her deeply, but at the time she paid no attention because she had other matters to worry about. Out of nowhere she was blasted by the news that she would have to marry a complete stranger, so Miles' problem became a secondary thought for her. Once she and Humphrey got kidnapped, the thought slipped her mind completely and did not return until sometime shortly after their wedding during the party when her father had to literally drag Miles home because he got drunk and started trying to pick a fight with his ex-girlfriend and her new companion. Miles later apologized, of course, when he had sobered up the next day, but his apology did little to ease his guilt, or the disappointment in Winston's eyes.

It took Miles months to get over his ex-girlfriend, but unfortunately for him when the heartache faded and he decided that she was not worth the berries or the time, the berries had already claimed him. At this point, there was not a day that passed when he did not eat berries; but his continued consumption no longer had anything to do with mending a broken heart. Now he ate them for the taste and the buzz, because he had acquired an unfortunate appreciation for both. For the most part, though, he remained functional during the day while he was an instructor, but when the alcohol level in his system began to fall, it was noticed, even by a few of his students, that he became jumpy and irritable. However, after the break, he would always return spry and mellow, because he would have by then replenished his needy cells. Only on rare occasions, such as that which cost him his job, did he lose control of his habit and allow it to get the better of him; but now everything had changed. He had fallen hard, and there were many who doubted that he would ever be able to get back up.

But Kate still treasured their friendship, and as such, wanted to be sure that Miles received the good news first hand. However, due to her current state (even though she had protested vociferously to being confided) Humphrey insisted that she stay in their den while he went over to Miles' home to fetch him so the two of them could tell him together.

Humphrey found himself troubled by this as he ventured toward the den of his mate's oldest friend, though, because despite their friendship through Kate, he was not entirely comfortable with the thought of having an alcoholic with a history of drunken rage in the presence of his pups, whether they were born yet or not. That was not a good atmosphere in which to place them, and he certainly did not want them to be around when he decided to get his feelings hurt. He and Kate discussed this, of course, and finally they reached an agreement which eased Humphrey's mind, if only slightly. If he wanted to get near the pups after they were born, he would have to sober up; but Humphrey somehow knew that would never happen. Still, this was important to his mate, so he set his own apprehensions aside and focused on his primary objective: pampering the mother of his children and doing whatever he could to make her happy, just so long as it didn't involve walking around too much for the week or two.

Humphrey approached Miles' den and paused with about ten paces between himself and the hole under a fallen tree as he searched for the proper words that he should use to tempt him into coming over. After all, he had not been blind to the strain that his alcoholism had on his and Kate's friendship. Finally, he decided that a general outline was all he would be able to piece together at this time and pressed forward. As he drew near to the mouth of the den, the scent of fermented berries forced its way invasively into his nostrils, which caused him to wrinkle his nose, as he only appreciated the smell when he partook in their consumption, and a soft groan wafted into his ears.

This sound caught his attention and caused concern to build inside of him.

"Miles?" he called as he stepped inside of the den, but when he saw the older wolf sitting in the middle of the floor and slowly dragging his claw across his wrist, he gasped, "Miles, what are you doing!"

Miles lifted his eyes slowly to Humphrey as the omega rushed forward and knocked his paw away so he could no longer hurt himself. However, in his inebriated state, Miles stumbled and fell to the floor.

"Miles, are you out of your mind?" Humphrey scolded as he stood over the drunken alpha.

"You don't understand," Miles slurred as blood seeped from his wrist, "I deserve this."

"Miles, you know that isn't true," Humphrey insisted and restrained the older wolf as he attempted to administer another cut.

"But I'm an appalling failure," he argued, on the brink of tears, as his emotions were being fueled by the alcohol in his system, "I-"

"Miles, all you ever are is what you make yourself," Humphrey interrupted sternly, "and if you're a failure, it's only because that's what you've allowed yourself to become."

Miles' jaw locked, but he remained silent.

"We told you that you need to quit, but you haven't," Humphrey continued, "and the only reason you haven't is because you don't really want to."

"I wanna quit, dammit!" Miles yelled and clumsily turned over onto his chest. He then took a deep breath as he calmed himself down. "It's just..."

"Just what," Humphrey demanded dryly, as he was in no mood for excuses.

"It's just... hard," Miles answered morosely, "I've used them so many times to run from my problems that, now that they have become the problem, I don't know how else to escape."

Humphrey sighed and took a seat before the downtrodden alpha, at a loss for words, and for a moment silence droned between them. However, the heaviness which filled the atmosphere gave him a brief window of thought, and a problem which had plagued the back of his mind since he first discovered the news of his mate's pregnancy pushed its way to the front, which then set his thoughts in motion and made him realize that perhaps he had found a solution. He knew that it was a long shot, even with favorable rounding, but he needed help, and maybe, just maybe, Miles could be the one to help him. He just needed to play his cards right and hope that the time and effort he was about to invest would not be a waste. He considered his next statement carefully, then spoke.

"Miles, if you are serious about this, then I will help you get sober," Humphrey promised.

Miles sighed and lowered his eyes.

"I've heard this speech before from Winston," he replied morosely, "but I let him down, and I'm afraid I'll do the same to you."

Humphrey again took a moment to think, and, even though he knew Kate would be upset with him for ruining the surprise, he figured that a proper incentive would motivate Miles to kick his addiction and better himself, so he would just have to dive in head first and hope Kate didn't rip his tail off when she found out that he had spoiled the surprise.

"If you won't do it for me, or for yourself, then do it for Kate," Humphrey began, and watched as Miles turned his head away in shame, "she wanted for us to deliver the news together, but I'm not gonna let her see you like this."

He paused as Miles lowered his eyes in shame.

"We just found out today that Kate is pregnant," Humphrey announced seriously.

The news caused Miles to slowly turn his head back to Humphrey.

"Pregnant?" he asked, uncertain if he had heard right.

Humphrey nodded.

"That's right," he replied, "we're gonna have pups, and they're gonna need somebody to call their godfather." He paused for a moment to gauge Miles' reaction, but for the moment, his face remained as it was when he first heard the news of Kate's pregnancy. "Now, Kate and I have discussed this matter thoroughly and we have decided to elect you to fill that roll if you want it," he began again in a tone which foreshadowed the 'but' to follow, "but only if you can clean up your act."

Miles remained silent for a moment as he attempted to regain control over himself, but the inebriated state of his mind and body hindered this process drastically and it took him nearly a minute to respond.

"Y-you want... me to be their godfather?" he asked, stunned.

Humphrey nodded.

"Yes," he replied, then reiterated his terms, "but again, only if you can kick your habits or show major improvement by the time they are born, because we do not want an alcoholic anywhere near our pups."

"I understand," Miles replied, "but I just don't know if I have it in me."

Miles made a point to never cry in front of anybody, as to him it was a sign of weakness, but in his drunken state, and because of the news he had received, he broke down and began to openly sob on the floor of the den.

Humphrey was not nearly as close to Miles as Kate was, so seeing him cry made him slightly uncomfortable, but given the circumstances, he knew that the alpha needed comforting, so he sidled up to him and placed a hesitant paw on his shoulder.

Miles continued to sob and Humphrey continued to provide moral support, but the bodily disturbance his tears caused set in motion an intense stirring in his stomach which caused his body to lurch and vomit to fire out from his mouth.

Humphrey retracted quickly, as some of the drunken alpha's vomit had splashed onto his paw, then returned his attention quickly to Miles, who continued to gag and convulse on the floor. The thought that he had just been disgorged upon disgusted him, but he figured that he had better get used to other wolves' various fluids if he was going to be a father, so he quickly, but carefully, turned Miles over so that he would not be lying in a pool of his own vomit then slid his body beneath the larger wolf's chest.

"Alright, Miles, let's get you out of here," Humphrey stated dryly as he began to lift the alpha's weight, "we need to get you cleaned up."

Miles gagged once more, but no vomit came as he was helped to his paws. Humphrey shifted his stance so the inebriated alpha could lean on him, then together the pair began to stumble out of the den.

The entire walk to the lake was done in near silence, as Miles was in no mood for the exchange of words, but Humphrey did not mind and together they arrived just in time for the drunken wolf to collapse to his stomach where he again began to sob, distantly.

Humphrey panted as his eyes fell upon the dishonored alpha then turned his eyes down to the shimmering water at his paws.

"Look, Miles," Humphrey called as he once more turned his attention to the wolf in his company, "look at the water and tell me what you see."

Miles sniffled, but hesitated, almost as though afraid of what he would see. However, after a deep, collective breath, he dared to move his eyes to the water, and when they fell upon his reflection and saw just how low he had fallen, they quickly averted themselves in shame.

"I'm a disgrace," he said morosely.

"Yes, you are," Humphrey replied, "but we can change that together. All you have to do is try."

Miles sniffed once then nodded.

"Alright," he said shakily, "I will."

Humphrey placed a paw on the alpha's back then nodded, proudly.

"Wait here," Humphrey insisted, then turned and began to head back to Miles' den.

Miles clumsily turned and called after him.

"Where are you going?" he asked.

"I'm gonna help you take the first step," Humphrey replied in a glance over his shoulder.

Miles could only assume what it was that he meant by what he had said and a sinking sensation began to weigh down upon his stomach, but he knew it to be for the best, so he remained where he lied where he would hopefully sober up a little before Humphrey returned.

With a sigh, he turned his eyes to the water once more and gazed longingly at his dancing reflection, almost as though hoping to see beyond what he had allowed himself to become, so that he could remember who he once was; but he knew that that man was gone. All that was left was a broken, hollow shell in desperate need of salvation from his demons.

But he had been down this road before, and he always wound up worse than when he began. This time, though, he knew it would be different, because now not only his future depended on his sobriety- at least that was what he told himself.

Humphrey returned a few minutes later, after he had gone over every inch of Miles' den, with all the fermented berries he could find and dropped all three bundles at his paws.

Miles acknowledged Humphrey's return, then lowered his eyes in anticipation for a lecture about how over ninety berries was too much for one individual wolf to consume, but much to his surprise, Humphrey said nothing and merely slid one of the bundles over to him with his paw, then took a step back.

Miles turned his eyes to the berries, then up to Humphrey in confusion.

"You are going to pick these berries off of each of these bundles one by one and dispose of them in any means you see fit," Humphrey instructed, "and hopefully by the time you have finished you'll be sober enough to come visit Kate, because she really wants to see you."

"So how come she didn't come with you?" Miles asked.

"Because she broke her leg during the hunt this morning," Humphrey replied, "she's in no condition to be mobile."

"Oh," Miles said in surprise, "is she okay?"

Humphrey nodded.

"Yeah," he replied with a shrug, "that's actually how we found out that she was pregnant." He then chuckled. "Honestly, I don't know how we didn't notice it sooner."

Miles forced a weak smile then lowered his eyes as it faded from his face.

"She's gonna need somebody to take care of her," he muttered.

Humphrey lowered his eyes.

"I know," he replied in distain, "and I should be the one to tend to her every need, but I can't." He inhaled sharply, then exhaled as a flicker of anger rose inside of him. "Everybody else is gonna have to do my job for me."

Miles lifted his eyes to Humphrey.

"No, they won't," he replied as he staggered unsteadily to his paws.

"Miles, what are you-"

Miles cut him off by raising a paw.

"I'm gonna help you raise those babies in the best way I can," he interrupted firmly, "by training you."

Humphrey sighed, because he figured that the alcohol was speaking for Miles and that he did not actually mean what he was saying.

"Look, Miles, I appreciate the offer, but let's be realistic here," Humphrey began, "what about your... problem?"

Miles shook his head and scowled.

"Forget about that," he answered, "we've got bigger problems now."

Humphrey still wasn't sold.

"Well how do you expect to train me when you can barely stand?" he observed brashly, "in order for you to be able to teach me anything, you'd have to quit-"

Humphrey's voice was cut off inside of his throat when Miles took the bundle of berries at his paws between his teeth and pitched them into the lake. There was a brief moment of silence as the berries sailed through the air, which was broken as they splashed down into the water.

"Look, Humphrey," Miles asserted as he clumsily faced the omega once more, "you wanna know why I haven't quit? Do you really wanna know?"

Humphrey opened up his mouth to offer a response, but Miles cut him off.

"The only reason why I haven't been able to quit is because I haven't had a reason to," he said sternly, "but now I do, and I swear to you on my life that by the time those pups are born, you'll be able to meet every one of your mate's needs and then some."

"Miles, look at yourself," Humphrey reasoned, "your body practically needs these damned things to function now. You can't just quit cold turkey; you'll need months of rehab to get over this."

Miles grinned with only one corner of his mouth.

"Watch me," he challenged, "they say it takes three weeks to make a habit, so I'll break it in two. Meanwhile, we'll cover the basics, and once I've beaten this addiction, I'll teach you how to protect and provide for your family."

Miles could see that Humphrey still had his doubts, so he continued before the omega had a chance to argue with him.

"I know that the road ahead will be rough," he admitted, "but we'll get through this together." He then stepped forward and placed a paw on Humphrey's shoulder and locked eyes with him. "I'm counting on you to get me through this as much as you are counting on me to change," he confessed, "I'm not strong enough to do this alone."

Humphrey sighed and lowered his eyes.

"You do realize how crazy this sounds, right?" he asked dryly.

Miles nodded.

"It's only as crazy as we make it," he replied then outstretched his paw, "so what'd'ya say?"

Humphrey stared at the alpha's trembling paw with uncertainty, because he feared still that he was only going to waste his time; but he knew that, if this worked, he would have made the first step in the long journey ahead to becoming the man that he knew he had to be. So, Humphrey smiled and placed the pad of his paw on Miles', then looked him in the eyes.

"You've got a deal."

A&Ω

Across the territory, in that horrid piece of forest, where dark wolves gathered to train and prepare for their dark deed, a middle-aged, grey wolf whom they all knew well skulked into their midst. His significance was no greater than that of the operation's leader in terms of status, but the value of his intel knew no equal, as his information came directly from the High Alpha himself, and today, he would deliver to him earth-shattering news.

The wolves of ill intent sat apart from each other in their moment of leisure, as they knew the dangers of friendship in a situation such as theirs, but their eyes all came together upon one focal point as their mole stalked before them.

The grey leader was alerted to his arrival by the sound of a throat being cleared, and he turned to the informant with an expectant grin.

"Ah, Hutchinson," he greeted with anxious eyes, "I trust you have some good news for us."

Hutchinson came to rest near the foot of the structure upon which the leader sat and moved his eyes to him.

"Sir, the daughter of the impure is injured and with child," quoth he softly, "unfortunately for us, this incident has led the leadership to postpone their departure from power until Kate is deemed fit to lead the pack, but this confusion will blur their scope to the point where we could still make our move."

The grey leader nodded intently as he listened and pondered the information which he had been provided, then, after a moment of thick silence, his jaw tweaked and he inhaled sharply.

"Duly noted, Hutchinson," he began, then ran his eyes out over his followers, "but we must exercise patience. While the situation at hand is ideal for our success, I fear our current position is not."

He hopped down from his position of power upon the abandoned headquarters of the prison and approached the wolf diplomatically.

"We are still too few in number to mount our assault at this time," he noted and sat down before his agent of espionage, "and we still need time to train our newest recruit."

He then turned away and took a few paces toward the headquarters once more and paused.

"Keep an eye on the situation and report back with anything you find," he instructed without acknowledgment to the wolf who stood at his back.

The wolf nodded then turned and padded calmly away, and as he heard his informant grow distant, the grey leader smiled.

"The day is nearly upon us," he mused as he moved toward his den, "everything is positioning nicely."

A loud guffaw split the air as he disappeared into the cloak of the den and a barrage of howls lifted into the sky as the day slowly faded to night and brought them one day closer to that which they knew would bring peace to the park once more.