Disclaimer: Everything Twilight belongs to Stephenie Meyer.
Author's Note: Once again your guys' reviews blow me away. I just want to say the diversity in responses has completely taken me by surprise. Last chapter's reviews showed me that there is a good amount of you either on Team Edward or Team Bella and only a select few who see both sides. I myself feel that both sides are to blame for this whole mix up, but I do love hearing everyone's reasons for their choices. I really enjoy reading everyone's opinions and feedback. Also, remember this is a process and they can't just kiss and make up easily—it just isn't realistic—so yes, we are all going to have to be a little bit patient with this, but trust me it will be fun and definitely worthwhile :) For all you Bella haters (haha yea I know who you are) maybe the beginning of this chapter will shed a light on the reasons for her insecurities. This chapter is very amusing, a little treat since last chapter was so angsty. Hope you all enjoy!
Bella POV
I woke up to the sun shining brightly on my face. I shifted and groaned a little as I pulled the small blanket over myself and cuddled deeper into the large cushioned beach chair on the balcony.
I had decided that after everything that was said and done last night, it would be better to separate myself from Edward, so I had slept on the balcony. Surprisingly enough, the chairs were very big and comfortable. But I couldn't fully enjoy them when I had so many other things on my mind.
Insecure.
That was the word Edward has used when he described why I did what I did and reacted the way I had to seeing him with Tanya.
And it was true.
I always knew since the first day I met Edward that he was too good for me. As the years progressed and he grew into his own, it became even clearer that he could never feel for me what I felt for him because he was beautiful and smart and everything anyone could ever want. And in my eyes I was not. But somehow he did. He wanted me.
I struggled with these insecure thoughts all through high school and college while we were together. Every time girls would give him attention, I would feel this pang of unworthiness that he should be with them and how in the hell was he with me? I remember telling him this on several occasions and he would always convince me I was perfect; that I was the only one for him. That we belonged together. I tried believing him, but I just couldn't. I knew the day would come when he would realize I was nothing special.
I thought that day had arrived on our anniversary. The fact that Edward always brushed off Tanya's flirtations made me wonder why he was being so coy about it and when I finally saw them together, I couldn't help it. I just completely unraveled and all those insecure thoughts I had convinced myself had gone away, came flooding back to me.
I wasn't really sure where my insecurities stemmed from. I knew I was pretty plain, but I wasn't ugly and I was smart and kind. I think it had partly to do with the fact that I hadn't really had a mother growing up. Renee had handed me off to Charlie at a really young age so she was never around to tell me that I was beautiful or how proud she was of me; things normal mothers would say to their daughters. Charlie was there, but he wasn't a man of many words so I received very little praise growing up. It wasn't until I met the Cullens that I had a sense of belonging.
However, I had always felt somewhat inferior and intimidated by Edward, which was why I was so shocked that he had even been interested in me, but I pushed those initial thoughts away and was happy that I had him. I was glad that I got to keep him for as long as I did.
It was strange how my insecurities had been dormant all these years and then suddenly sprang up that one night. It was as if they were in the back of my mind, just waiting for an opportunity to come out. Edward told me all the time that I was everything he ever wanted, but—Gah!—if she just hadn't come into the picture and made me question everything that we were, then none of this would have happened.
It was like Tanya represented every girl that ever went after Edward while we were together. She was like my final challenge—make or break me—and it had broken me. I had crumpled under the weight of what I was sure was Edward finally leaving me for someone better. But he hadn't and he didn't. I didn't know what I was supposed to do now. I had royally fucked up and couldn't alter the past no matter how much I wanted to.
'It will be as if I never existed,' he had promised me. And my whole life just burned away with those words.
I could not believe how stupid I had been to jump to conclusions. I hadn't even let him explain. I let my insecurities about myself cloud my better judgment. Tanya wanted Edward, but he didn't want her. And it took all of this heartache and pain for me to finally see that…and to finally break down the last wall of insecurity I had left. Tanya was my last test, and although I had failed epically the first time—I passed the re-take with flying colors.
But I knew now that it was too late. Edward didn't want me anymore. I was insecure about myself and because of that I hurt our relationship. I was stupid and selfish and jealous. How could he ever want me back?
He had been so cold last night. It was an Edward I had never seen and one that I did not recognize. The way he spoke so distantly and harshly frightened me. He seemed so detached; as if he was done trying. That thought scared me even more.
I was so upset with myself for what I had done with Jacob in retaliation. And so upset that Edward didn't just fire Tanya when I told him I didn't trust her. But he never listened to me! He always thought I was reading too much into it when girls would shamelessly throw themselves at him. Always being such a fucking gentleman about it; brushing them off as innocent, insignificant people. Maybe if he had just listened to me about this one girl…just this one time.
Then I could forget about him not switching lab partners senior year when Jessica Stanley pretty much sat in his lap during lecture…and I could get my mind past how he wouldn't tell Lauren Mallory off whenever she would flirt with him in the hallway when we used to live in our old apartment…and I could even let go of the fact that he never said anything to Kate or Irina at the grocery store when they always asked if he wanted an 'extra large sausage' and put extra emphasis on every syllable when I was standing right there.
I would forget about all those times he just dismissed my concerns and told me I was over thinking things and that even if they were interested he only had eyes for me. Because this one time…this one fucking time…if he had stopped being a stupid, fucking gentleman with this head in the sand and finally said something to Tanya…then maybe things would be different.
I couldn't fully blame Edward for all of this though because I knew my own actions were absolutely, without a doubt, completely wrong. But I wasn't going to take all of the responsibility for this massive cluster-fuck. I just needed to clear my head and figure things out before acting on anything again. I wasn't sure where Edward and I stood after everything was said and done last night—maybe he would just want to call this whole thing off and come clean.
I sat there for a little while longer before the sliding door next to me opened and Edward stood there, rubbing his eyes sleepily, wearing nothing but a pair of flannel pajama bottoms.
"What are you doing out here?" he asked in his morning scratchy voice. But it was different the way he said it this time. He sounded so emotionless and completely detached—much like he had last night, and I didn't like it.
"Um…I didn't think…I mean…I wasn't sure if—" I was brought out of my stuttering frenzy by a sudden and rapid knock on the bedroom door.
"Edward! Bella! Fucking eat breakfast before you go at it!" Emmett's booming voice chimed in. And that's when I realized I hadn't locked the door last night.
"I didn't lock the door," I said to Edward quickly. He looked down at me, shocked and at a loss of what to do as the doorknob jiggled.
Everything seemed to happen at once. Suddenly Edward grabbed me around the waist and lifted me up slightly only to sit in the chair and pull me on top of him so I was laying on my back over him. He pulled the blanket on top of us and we both struggled to slow down our heavy breathing before Emmett came barreling through the door.
Then I felt it.
Edward was hard.
And he was pressed right against my ass.
I shifted a little bit to try and make it so his hard-on wasn't pressed against me so awkwardly, but he grabbed my hips tightly and hissed.
"Bella," he said in stern voice. Obviously my shifting wasn't making his problem any easier.
"I'm sorry," I replied exasperated. "It's just…you know…God why are you hard, Edward?" I asked, frustrated at the entire situation and embarrassed that this was happening. At the same time I was somewhat smug that I could still elicit that sort of reaction out of him.
"Don't flatter yourself, I'm always like this in the morning," he spat back harshly, though there was something else in his voice that sounded like he wasn't telling the whole truth.
There wasn't anymore time for contemplation, however, as the bedroom door swung open and Emmett strutted right in. He looked around the room confused before looking at the unmade bed. He scratched his head before lifting his eyes and spotting us on the balcony. His face broke out into a mischievous grin as he did a messy somersault over the bed and leaped out the sliding glass door onto the balcony.
I couldn't help but giggle at Emmett; he was the older brother I never had and he always knew how to make me laugh, even without knowing it. He made me feel so comfortable in his presence; so much so that I found myself leaning my head back on Edward's shoulder as I giggled and smiled up at Emmett's beaming face. I didn't move my head simply because we needed to put on the façade of a happy married couple. And because it felt so right.
Edward looked up at Emmett and chuckled slightly at his antics before forcing himself to wrap his arms around my waist over the blanket covering us. "What are you doing home, Emmett?" he asked amused.
"Come on, Edward, I own my own advertisement agency. I took a couple days off. Sue me," he stated, as if Edward's question was the dumbest one in the world to ever be asked. "Breakfast is ready. Mom made waffles and eggs and pancakes...and just what were you two doing out here, hmmm?" he asked, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively.
"We'll be down in a sec, Em," Edward replied coolly, ignoring Emmett's question.
"Fine. But no quickies in the bathroom," Emmett answered sternly as he turned and walked toward the door. He stopped and turned around to wiggle his tongue in an obscene gesture at us before leaving.
"That was close," I breathed, relieved that we hadn't been caught in a more compromising situation. Although Edward's hard-on was still pressed against me.
"Yea," he sighed in agreement. "Uh, can you…" he trailed off, motioning to his ever-growing problem.
"Oh! Right, sorry," I answered sheepishly as I leaped off of him and wrapped the blanket around myself.
He sighed and stood up before walking into the bedroom and going to make the bed. I helped him—even though he told me I didn't need to; quite harshly I might add—and after brushing our teeth silently side by side, we made our way downstairs and into the kitchen where the rest of the family was piling eggs and bacon and sausages onto their too full plates.
"Good morning, you two," Esme greeted happily from where she was seated at the table next to Jasper and Emmett.
"Morning," we both answered in unison, and then shot each other glares when no one was looking.
I sighed and went to sit in the empty seat beside Alice when Rosalie totally seat tapped my ass. I rolled my eyes and grudgingly went to sit in the last seat next to Edward.
"Are you okay, Bella?" Alice asked in her worried voice. I hated that voice.
I looked up at her and realized that everyone at the table—sans Edward—was looking at me. "Uh, where's Carlisle?" I asked, diverting the attention away from her question.
"He had to go to the hospital today. Doctors can't take too many days off," Esme said with a small smile.
"Yea, dude, they need to save lives and shit," Emmett chimed in with a mouthful of eggs.
I laughed and rolled my eyes at him before taking a sip of my orange juice and glancing at Alice. Her fork-full of pancakes was suspended into the air, on its journey to her mouth, as she just sat there and stared at me quizzically.
"Bella," she said, suddenly snapping out of her own haze. "Why don't you and Edward come with Jazz and me to see the location today? It's absolutely beautiful."
"I'd love to Alice," I answered as enthusiastically as I could.
"I wanna see it!" Rosalie exclaimed, smacking Alice's shoulder.
Alice turned to her and glared, causing Rose to shrink away from her gaze. "I need you to go into the store today. Make sure Kelly is on top of things," Alice quipped demandingly.
Rosalie was the co-owner of the clothing store that Alice owned here in Seattle. They even had some of their own designs featured in the store and it was overall a very respectable and successful place. Their accessories were to die for and I was in desperate need of a new handbag. I wasn't much of a shopper, but some retail therapy was definitely in order. Soon.
"Ooookay," Rosalie replied in response to Alice's sudden demeanor. "Cranky," she muttered under her breath before turning back to her breakfast.
I sighed and shook my head, finishing my breakfast and knowing that I was in for a day of interrogation. Alice and I had known each other since we were kids. She could read me like a book. Of course she knew something was wrong and she wouldn't stop pushing until she figured it out.
After everyone finished eating, Rosalie and I helped Esme clear out the dishes and clean off the table while Alice and the boys went to the living room to play some sort of trivia board game.
"So what was with Alice at breakfast?" Rosalie asked me in a hushed tone as we washed and dried plates side by side. I glanced over at Esme and saw she was wiping down the table and was out of hearing range.
"I don't know," I said as indifferently as I could. I turned back to Rose and took the wet plate from her hand and dried it with a dish towel. "Maybe it's pre-wedding jitters."
"Well that's her own fault for wanting to get married so damn early," Rosalie stated affirmatively as she resumed washing the dishes. I let out a sigh of relief that the conversation took a different turn. "But seriously, she was acting weird. I mean, why does she want you and Edward to see the hotel so badly?" she asked incredulously after handing me the last plate and taking off her rubber gloves.
"Maybe…" I started, trying to stall as I came up with a valid excuse. "Maybe because Edward and I don't live here so she just wants to show us the town."
"You guys have been here before," she threw back at me, turning to look at me with narrowed eyes.
I sighed in frustration and put the last plate away before slamming the cupboard a little too hard. I turned to Rosalie and saw her looking at me, wide-eyed and concerned.
"I honestly don't know what her deal is, Rose," I said, my soft voice a complete contradiction to my actions. "I'll let you know if I figure anything out." And with that, I turned to walk to the staircase so I could go to my room and get ready.
"Bella?" Rosalie called after me.
I stopped on the very first step and rolled my eyes before smoothing out my features and turning to look at her.
"Are you okay?" she asked softly, gazing up at me worriedly.
I looked up just as Edward came out of the living room and toward the stairs. He stopped behind Rose when he heard her question and looked up at me. I tried reading his expression, but it was a blank mask.
I kept my eyes locked with his when I answered Rosalie. "Never been better."
XxXxX
After we got dressed and said goodbye to Esme, Emmett, and a very annoyed Rosalie; Edward, Jasper, Alice, and I hopped into Jasper's black BMW and headed into town. The hotel was only about twenty minutes from the lake house just like Alice had promised it would be. We parked at one of the one hour parking meters before getting out and walking up to the extravagant entrance.
The outside of the hotel was absolutely beautiful. The front had large picture windows where you could see the gorgeous chandeliers hanging from the inside. There were also beautiful flowers and green trees and leaves surrounding it. We walked up the stone pathway to the revolving glass door and made our way inside.
"The banquet hall's this way," Alice said as she took my hand and smiled at me.
I smiled back at her and squeezed her hand, showing her I definitely approved of her choice in location as we made our way down the diamond studded hallway. The tile floors were absolutely stunning and the high ceilings were breathtaking.
"This one," she stated happily as she opened one of the large double doors and peered inside. "I don't think we can go in, but just look." She stepped aside and Edward came to stand beside me as we both peered into the large and absolutely magnificent banquet hall.
The entire side wall was covered with floor to ceiling windows that overlooked Seattle beautifully. There were also a number of crystal chandeliers hanging from the ceiling and the tables were positioned absolutely stunningly. It was elegant and classy and definitely Alice.
"It' wonderful, Alice," I breathed in awe as I looked around the room once more and stepped away. Edward nodded in agreement and put his arm around my shoulder as we stood in front of Jasper and Alice.
"Really great choice, you guys," he said sincerely.
"Do you guys want to go to the bar and get some drinks?" Alice asked after she closed the door to the banquet hall.
"At noon, Alice?" Edward asked incredulously with a chuckle.
Alice just shrugged and narrowed her eyes at me ever so slightly. "Bella?" she pressed.
"Um, n-no. No thanks, Alice," I stuttered. I definitely didn't need to drink. It would only make me more of a mess.
"Okay, well I need to use the restroom. Can we meet you boys out front?" Alice asked Jasper as she took my hand. He nodded and kissed her cheek before walking with Edward out the front entrance.
Alice smiled at me hesitantly before half dragging me to the bathroom with her. I didn't have to go so, like a good best friend, I waited by the sinks for her.
"Are you and Edward alright? You both seem…uncomfortable," she said inside the stall as I heard the crinkling of paper as she set down her seat cover.
Oh shit.
The little pixie is so effing perceptive all the fucking time.
"What do you mean?" I asked noncommittally, trying to appear nonchalant by checking my reflection in the mirror. On the outside I looked calm and collected, but on the inside I was having a full blown panic attack.
"Well, this morning at breakfast for example. You both seemed…frustrated about something," she stated matter-of-factly.
"We both have stuff on our minds I guess," I answered with a shrug even though she couldn't see me.
She finally stepped out of the stall and went to the sink to wash her hands. I watched her cautiously, not sure where this line of conversation would be heading to next.
"Well, I guess it's just something I've been noticing. And Jazz said he brought up something with Edward yesterday that may be the cause of it since he was being all evasive about it," she said as she eyed me curiously and dried her hands with a paper towel.
I racked my brain for any conversation Edward and Jasper could have had that would cause Alice to think it was a valid reason for our strange behavior, but nothing came up.
"Um, yea, you're right Alice. It was that conversation," I managed to grit out, not really sure where I was going with it.
"What about it?" she asked me, her eyes widening immensely.
Uh-oh.
I think I just fucked up.
Back track.
Back track this mother fucker now!
"Um…it was just…I don't know. The-the truth came out? Maybe?" I squeaked, still completely unaware of anything that was going on.
I figured that I should be vague enough so that anything I said could pertain to a number of things. I just wanted to end this uncomfortable discussion now.
"Oh my God, Bella!" she squealed, suddenly launching herself into my arms. "Why didn't you say anything about it?" she asked as she squeezed me tightly.
I let out an audible breath of relief and managed to hug Alice back just as tightly. I figured that if whatever it was Alice was talking about made her this happy, then I had nothing to worry about.
"I wanted to surprise you?" It accidentally came out as a question. I wanted to make sure I played this thing the best I could. I would have to talk to Edward later. Maybe he would know what conversation Alice was referring to.
Alice finally pulled away and held both of my hands in hers as she looked at me and laughed excitedly. "Don't worry, I won't tell anyone! Just promise you won't wait too long to say something! Esme is going to be thrilled!"
Esme? Why would Esme be thrilled? I pushed those thoughts away and just kept repeating the same mantra over and over again in my head.
Just smile and nod. Just smile. And. Nod.
Alice finally calmed down before taking my hand once again. She practically skipped next to me as we made our way outside where Edward and Jasper were sitting on a bench, having a deep conversation about something. Their eyes flashed to us when we came into view and they both stood up.
Alice released my hand and went to hug Edward tightly, almost knocking him over when she lunged into his arms. He seemed confused at first, but hesitantly wrapped his arms around her as Jazz looked on curiously, and scratched the back of his head.
Edward looked up at me over Alice's head and gave me a questioning look, but I just shook my head minutely, silently telling him we would need to discuss it later.
The four of us decided on an early lunch and spent the rest of the afternoon walking around Seattle as Jasper and Alice showed us some new places that had been built since the last time we arrived. Around three in the afternoon, we made our way to a nearby park where there were many families around and children playing on playgrounds. Alice and Jasper were walking side by side in front of us and Edward and I were behind them. Alice looked over her shoulder at me and smiled like she and I were in on the same private joke before winking and clinging closer to Jasper.
"Okay, what the hell is going on with Alice?" Edward asked quietly so Alice and Jasper wouldn't be able to hear us.
I looked up at him surprised. It was the first time he had talked to me since the whole awkward incident this morning. Aside from the forced embraces and affectionate touches we had done for Alice and Jasper through out the day, he hadn't really said anything to me.
"I don't know," I said softly, looking down as we walked. "She said it had something to do with what you and Jasper talked about yesterday?" I said, looking up at him and hoping he would have at least some insight on what was going on.
He just looked down, his eyebrows knit together in deep concentration, obviously trying to figure out what the hell Alice could be talking about.
"It made her happy, so it can't be that bad, right?" I shrugged nonchalantly.
He raised his head and nodded minutely before glancing at me. Our eyes locked for a while as we walked. His face seemed completely void of any emotion and I knew my did as well. There were so many things I wanted to say to him in that moment; so many thoughts running through my mind, all mixing together. But I couldn't form any words. All I wanted was to just stare at Edward. It had been so long since I had really looked at him, studied his face, and his gorgeous green eyes that always held so much emotion. But not now. Now they were blank.
He finally coughed uncomfortably and looked in front of him as we continued our walk to Jasper's car. The ride to the lake house was surprisingly quiet. I couldn't help but notice Alice bouncing a little bit in her seat and Jasper glancing at her every now and then obviously confused.
When we got back to the house, Alice basically bolted inside, yelling something about helping Esme with dinner. I just sighed and shook my head as the three of us got out of the car and walked into the house. Esme, Rosalie, and Carlisle were in the kitchen helping get the food all prepared while Alice and Emmett were setting the table. We all said our 'hellos' before helping take all the food to the table.
I sat next to Edward and Rosalie once everything was situated and began filling my plate with food. That's when I heard a loud gasp from across the table. Everyone looked up to see Alice and Esme with their heads very close together and smiling excitedly at one another. Alice just nodded and then Esme looked over at me and winked.
I just stared at her, mouth slightly open, not really sure what to make of that. Why was she smiling at me as if she just found out I won the lottery or something? I finally shook out of my thoughts and offered her my most genuine half smile before focusing back on my plate and picking up my fork. I could still hear Alice and Esme whispering across from me and it was becoming increasingly annoying.
"Okay, what the hell?" Rose suddenly demanded, slamming her wine glass on the table. Thank God it was empty. I looked over at her, grateful she had decided to put an end to this atrocity. "Care to share your little secret with the rest of the class?" she asked them mockingly.
All eyes were on Alice and Esme as they looked at Rosalie like they had just been caught red handed eating cookies out of the cookie jar without permission. They both glanced at each other and then looked at me pointedly, both wearing matching grins.
Suddenly all eyes turned to me as I sat there, taking extra time to chew my food and put off the inevitable. Something was going on and I had to figure out what it was. I finally swallowed the contents in my mouth with what I'm sure was a very visible lump, before taking a long drink of my water and setting it back on the table with a heavy sigh.
I looked up at Alice and Esme. "Is something going on?" I asked in a small, innocent voice.
"You tell us," Esme quipped with a smirk.
"Wh—"
"Come on, Bella!" Alice interrupted. "Just tell everyone already. Why put off the inevitable?"
My sentiments exactly.
I looked at Edward nervously and saw that he was just watching me with the same anxious and confused expression that everyone else at the table—besides Alice and Esme—were wearing. I looked back at Alice and forced a weak smile.
"You know what? Why don't you tell them, Alice? You were the first person to find out so…why don't you just say it?" I said sweetly, hoping to put an end to this madness and get some answers.
"Wait," Jasper suddenly interceded. He looked at Alice. "Does this have to do with what we talked about yesterday, Ali?" Alice just smiled and nodded enthusiastically as Jasper breathed out and smiled over at Edward and me. "Damn," he said, still grinning like an idiot at us. "Guys…wow."
What a way with words.
"Okay just spill it, Alice!" Rose demanded.
Everyone looked to Alice who just looked at me apprehensively. I nodded, letting her know it was more than okay to continue. She smiled brightly at me and sat up straighter in her seat, looking at each and every individual at the table before getting up and looking directly at Edward and me.
"Bella's pregnant!"
Oh. My. God.
"Oh. My. God," I said as I put one hand over my mouth and just stared at Alice. She was standing there, smiling proudly at me as everyone at the table broke into chatter, turning to Edward and I and offering congratulations and sweet smiles.
I chanced a glance at Edward just as Carlisle was patting him on the back proudly and saw him wearing the most confused expression ever. But there was something else. Anger. His jaw was clenched and he was staring at me as if I had just run over his cat.
I turned back to Alice and saw her watching us completely confused. "Alice, can I talk to you for a second?" I asked as I stood up and left the room right as Emmett was telling me about some sort of new, more absorbent diaper I might be interested in.
I walked to the foyer since it was the furthest thing from the kitchen before turning around and coming face to face with a very confused and very worried Alice.
"Bella, what's wrong?" she asked me concerned.
"Alice, I'm-I'm not pregnant," I said in a somewhat shaky voice.
"You're not?" she squeaked disbelievingly.
I shook my head furiously, tears already emerging. I don't know why I was crying. I think it was the embarrassment and guilt from stupidly leading Alice on. I should have said something when she came to me with all this crap in the first place.
"No," I finally managed to ground out. "What made you think that?"
"Well, I told you Jazz said he and Edward talked about that stuff yesterday. We thought it might have something to do with why you guys have been acting so strange lately."
"Talked about what, Alice?" I asked, annoyed with all of these unanswered questions.
"Yesterday on the boat. Jasper brought up you and Edward having kids and he said Edward got all elusive about it. Jazz told me because I was talking to him about how the two of you haven't been acting like yourselves lately, like you've been hiding something. It just seemed to make sense. I mean, the mood swings—like last night when you suddenly ran out from the bon fire. And today, when I said we should get drinks, you didn't want anything. I just figured you were keeping it a secret to surprise us or something," she explained, her voice growing softer toward the end.
"You mean you only asked if I wanted drinks so you could test and see if I was pregnant?" I asked incredulously.
She just nodded and sighed. "I guess I shouldn't have jumped to conclusions. But you were agreeing with everything I said I mean, what did you think I was talking about, Bella?"
"I honestly didn't know," I answered truthfully, knowing it was best not to lie anymore. "I was just tired and I didn't really feel like trying to figure out what it is you were talking about. It's mainly my fault. I shouldn't have led you on like that. I should have been honest."
"I'm sorry, Bella. I really thought you and Edward were finally having a baby and just didn't know how to share the news with us," she said in a small voice.
"How are we going to tell everyone?" I asked nervously.
"It's my fuck up, I'll do it," she said with finality as she looked up at me and wiped the tears away. I hadn't even realized she had started to cry.
"Just tell them it was a huge misunderstanding and…God I am so embarrassed!"
"Don't be, Bells," Alice said firmly, putting her arm around my shoulder and rubbing my arm soothingly. "Just think of how great it will be when you and Edward really do have kids one day. Then we can all really get excited," she said with a teary smile.
I let out a strangled sob, but for completely different reasons than Alice probably thought. Edward and I would never have kids together. That life was over and the reality of it was eating me up inside.
"I'll go tell everyone. You just go up to bed, okay?" she said sweetly, kissing my head and giving me a meaningful look before walking back to the kitchen.
I sighed and wiped the rest of my tears away before walking up the stairs and into the bedroom. I closed the door behind me and went to sit on the edge of the bed. Five minutes hadn't even passed by before the door opened. I looked up, startled at how abruptly it had been swung open, and saw Edward standing there, looking at me. The anger in his eyes was now replaced with worry and concern. For me.
"Are you okay, Bella?" he asked softly as he knelt down in front of me. "Alice told everyone about the misunderstanding. I can't believe that conversation with Jasper actually came back to bite us in the ass," he said with a strangled chuckle.
I looked up at him and nodded, all traces of any tears now gone. "Yea, well, I guess it was my fault. I just kept agreeing with everything she said and I didn't even know what she was talking about."
He just nodded and sighed, standing up straight and walking into the bathroom. I heard the faucet turn on and realized he was brushing his teeth.
"Edward?" I called out tensely.
"Mmhmm," he answered.
"Why did you seem…angry downstairs? When Alice first said I was pregnant?" I asked, picking at the comforter nervously.
It was quiet for a few minutes until the faucet finally turned off and Edward stood in the doorway of the bathroom.
"I thought you were pregnant," he started gravely. I looked up at him before he continued. "With someone else."
I opened my mouth to say something, but nothing came out. I just looked down in my lap and sighed, shaking my head. "No, I…I haven't been with anyone else," I said quietly. I wasn't sure what made me say it, but I felt like it needed to be voiced out loud.
"Me either," he said in almost a whisper.
"This…this is getting harder, Edward," I choked out, standing up and walking to the middle of the bedroom. Edward moved from where he was in the doorway and came to stand in front of me so we were face to face. "I don't know how long I can do this. Lie to them like this," I said hesitantly.
"Why? What made now so different?" he demanded.
"I don't know. Just the way Alice was so sure we would eventually have kids some day. They don't know that that will never happen. They don't know what's really going on. I didn't realize how much all of this affects everyone else. We're breaking all of their hearts like this."
"So what do you expect we do? Tell them?" he asked incredulously. "It's going to be a hell of a lot easier to wait until after the wedding. Once everything is settled and done. Then we can just break it to them gently. But not here. Not now, not after all this shit's already happened." He ran a hand through his hair and sighed deeply.
"I can't believe she thought I was pregnant," I whispered, practically to myself, looking down at the floor. "Everyone was so excited. They must be so confused right now."
"They were," Edward said. "But…it was a misunderstanding. It's over now."
I nodded and looked back up at him and saw him watching me carefully. "What?"
He just stared at me like he was having an internal battle with himself. Something was on his mind and he wasn't sure if he wanted to say it. "What would you do if you found out you were pregnant with my child right now?" he asked suddenly.
"What?" I asked, surprised at his line of questioning.
"What would you do…if you found out you were pregnant with my child right now," he repeated slowly. I tried reading his expression, but it was one of complete calm and neutrality.
"I-I don't know…what-what kind of question is that, Edward?" I choked out.
"A good one," he stated simply.
"I…" I didn't know what to say. Why would he suddenly ask me this question? I knew I would keep it, but why would he want to know that? "I'd have it," I finally said, glancing at him. His expression remained neutral. "What would you do if you found out I was pregnant with your child right now?" I threw the question back at him and awaited his answer anxiously.
"Try to be the greatest father I can be," he replied immediately in a quiet, raspy voice.
His words tore at my heart and just amplified the realization that Edward and I would never have the chance to have children together. The life we always thought we would have seemed so distant now.
"That would complicate things though," I said with a small laugh, trying to lighten the dark mood and end this conversation.
"Yes," he agreed with a forced laugh. "Considering…everything…"
I nodded and let out a sigh of relief that all this misunderstanding was finally over. "We should probably go downstairs and...make sure everything's okay."
He nodded silently and went to open the door for me. However, when he opened it, we were not met with an empty hallway. Instead Emmett and Rosalie were both leaning on either side of the doorway and watching us with accusatory glares. They straightened up their postures and stood side by side directly in front of us, blocking us from leaving.
Edward and I just stood frozen in the doorway next to each other, both of us probably wearing identical masks of shock as Emmett crossed his arms and looked back and forth between Edward and me, most likely waiting for one of us to say something first. But it was Rose who spoke up next.
"What. The. Fuck?"
Author's Note: Well, not much to say on my end. What about you guys? ;)