X-Sammii-X, thank you for your review. There are definitely times when Cal isn't a very good big brother, but when Ethan really needs him, he is almost always there. I just hope he's there for Ethan in tonight's episode!
Tato Potato, that must be so difficult. I'm glad your sister is supportive - I hope your teachers are too. Phobias can be really crippling and so many people just don't understand. Thank you for your review.
Becs2202, thank you for your review - it's so good to know you got so involved in the story! I love it when Cal and Ethan work together too. They don't do it nearly enough onscreen - though perhaps that's why we love it!
tracys dream thank you for your review - I'm glad you enjoyed it. Poor Ethan really is having a horrible time,
LittleBritishPerson, I'm so happy you liked the parts where Cal was giving examples of Ethan's fear of heights - I enjoyed thinking those up so it's lovely to know you enjoyed them too. Thank you for your review.
CBloom2, he was doing so well! But it would probably be a first if I wrote a story about Ethan and didn't make him suffer. Thank you for your review. I hope you don't mind what I've done with this chapter.
It was Cal's turn to feel dizzy. He looked at his baby brother, shaking and sobbing into the wall, and felt himself go cold.
He wondered if the terror sweeping through him was anything like that which Ethan was experiencing now.
Ethan was in danger and it was Cal's fault.
He'd let Ethan attempt something that would have been dangerous even for Cal. Now, Ethan was clinging onto something that really didn't give him any measure of safety, his body shaking with fear and sobs.
At any moment, he could lose his grip. At any moment, he could start to feel dizzy. If he started to feel sick, the violence of vomiting would surely throw him from the ledge onto the ground below.
Ethan actually wasn't that far from safety in terms of distance. Two or three steps would bring him back into Cal's arms. Or perhaps ten to fifteen steps at the rate at which Ethan had been moving.
But Cal knew that even if he went to Ethan, it could take him several minutes to attempt to persuade him to move one foot.
Tears rose to Cal's eyes and he felt nauseous himself as the enormity of what he'd done hit him. "Ethan, I'm coming," he half-sobbed. "I'm coming to get you. I'm so sorry. Just hold on for me. Please hold on or I don't know what I'll do!"
Cal grabbed the chair and stepped onto it with his good foot. His stomach lurched as his weight went onto the sprained ankle, but that didn't matter. He had to get to Ethan. Again, he let his bad foot take the weight as he lowered his good foot down onto the ledge, biting his lips to keep back whimpers of pain. As he felt for the ledge, he was sickeningly aware of how far down it was. He could reach it easily, but he had much longer legs than Ethan. Ethan must have been so terrified.
Cal's foot landed on the ledge and he quickly but carefully brought the other one over to join it. He realised immediately that it wasn't as easy as he'd imagined. His feet were larger than Ethan's and he did feel unsteady with his heels poking out over the edge. He tilted his feet and kept his weight forward as he moved. Every step on his bad foot sent pain shooting through his ankle, but his gritted his teeth to stop himself from making a sound and pressed on.
He didn't want Ethan to know how much discomfort he was in. What Cal was feeling was nothing in comparison with Ethan's feelings.
As soon as the railing was half-swallowed by the wall, Cal could only wonder at Ethan's courage. Cal wasn't that scared for himself, but his heartbeat increased still further as he realised exactly how much danger Ethan was in. Cal continued to move towards him. He moved faster than Ethan had, even taking the slight limp into account, but his progress was still slow.
"Ethan, I'm nearly there," whispered Cal. "Don't move. Don't look at me. Wait a second and you'll feel my arm around you."
Ethan was still crying hard and Cal could see a damp patch on the wall. Cal's heart failed him slightly as he let go of the railing with one hand, putting his arm firmly around Ethan. "Okay, buddy. I've got you. It's okay. I'm not going to let you fall."
But how can I promise that? thought Cal. Either one of us could miss our footing. I can't even walk properly and I'm sure Ethan can't!
He took a breath and spoke again. "I just need you to move your left foot towards me. Just a little bit. That's all."
"I can't," wept Ethan.
"I know you can," said Cal. "I'm right here."
"I'm a stupid, horrible coward!" Ethan's sobs were almost howls now.
"Of course you're not!" said Cal. "You're the bravest person I know." He couldn't help but think that plenty of people who weren't afraid of heights would have baulked at this. "And you can be brave again. I know you can." He rubbed Ethan's shoulder very gently and was relieved when he calmed a little. "Okay, Nibbles. Move your foot towards me."
Ethan gave a couple more sobs, sniffed hard, and slowly moved his foot.
"That's it!" said Cal, as Ethan continued to cry. "Well done, Ethan. Now, can you move the other foot?"
Ethan sniffed again and moved the other foot.
"That's right, Nibbles," said Cal. "Now the left again? Now the right?"
In this slow, excruciating manner, Cal persuaded Ethan to take a few more tiny steps.
"Nearly there, Nibbles. Nearly there," said Cal, even though Ethan wasn't nearly there at all. He didn't want to think about how many more steps Ethan would have to take. "You're doing really well and I'm proud of you. I've got you, okay? Can you do another step for me? That's right. That's good." Ethan was still crying, but to Cal's relief, he was no longer shaking with the force of his sobs.
Then he felt Ethan wobble slightly and his little brother's crying intensified. "Cal! I'm scared!" he wailed, pressing closer to his big brother.
Cal stroked his shoulder. "I know, Nibbles. I know. But we're so nearly there. I might even be able to… yes, I can reach the railing now! We'll be at the balcony soon, then I'll be able to help you over and you'll be safe." He knew he'd have to go back to try to help Megan once Ethan was safe, but he didn't want to tell Ethan now. He was panicky enough already. "Can you do another step for me? That's brilliant. And another one? Well done. And another one?"
He coaxed Ethan along, one step at a time, and finally, they were away from the wall and looking at their balcony.
Cal had planned on lifting Ethan over the balcony before he went over. He didn't want to leave Ethan on the ledge by himself. But he realised it would be very dangerous to lift Ethan whilst he himself was balanced on the ledge. The chance of overbalancing was to great. He'd have to go over first and then help Ethan. But how to tell Ethan?
"Ethan, hold tight for a minute. I'm going to let go of you for two seconds, but I'll be very close. I'll just be here." Cal let go of Ethan slowly and heard him whimper, but he didn't let go of the railing. Cal pushed himself up on the railing and managed to swing both legs over, landing with a loud cry of pain on the balcony.
Immediately, he swung round, terrified his scream might have disturbed Ethan, but he was still there, his face white and tear-drenched but concerned for Cal, despite everything. "Cal, are you okay?" he sniffed.
"I'm fine." Cal climbed onto the chair and bent down so he could put his arms around Ethan's waist. "I'm going to lift you, buddy, okay? I need you to let go of the railing and hold my shoulders."
"I can't!" snivelled Ethan.
"I'm not going to let you fall," said Cal. "You don't have to move both hands at once. Just one at a time."
But Ethan had dissolved into hysterics and Cal wasn't sure he could even understand. He hugged Ethan tightly till he'd calmed a bit, terrifyingly aware of how much Ethan was shaking.
Cal put his hand over one of Ethan's, wondering why he hadn't tried this before. Ethan let out a little shriek as Cal unprised it from the railing, but he didn't struggle. Cal put Ethan's hand on his shoulder, feeling his little brother's painfully-tight grip, then he did the same with the other one. "Okay, Ethan? I'm going to lift you now."
Ethan was heavier than he'd expected and Cal felt himself wobbling slightly on the chair, but he didn't let go because he couldn't. He lifted Ethan over the railing, then bent his knees as he lowered him to the floor. Cal climbed down carefully and hugged Ethan tightly, supporting him as his knees finally gave way.
"It's okay, Nibbles. You're safe now. It's okay."
Ethan clung to him tightly, still crying.
"Ethan, I'm so sorry," said Cal. "The last thing I want to do is leave you, but I need to go to Megan." Cal looked at Ethan. His eyes were unfocused and Cal wasn't even sure if he understood. He lifted Ethan in his arms and limped painfully into the living room, laying Ethan on the sofa. He ran into Ethan's bedroom to get his duvet, grabbing a tissue box at the same time, and carried them to Ethan.
Ethan was curled into a little ball, still crying. Cal put the duvet over him, put the tissues on the floor beside him and ran to the kitchen to get a bottle of water and a bucket just in case. He'd rather have made Ethan tea, but there wasn't time.
"I'll be back as soon as I can. I know you need me and I need to be with you too. But I have to go. I'm sorry, Ethan. It's all my fault. I never should have let you do that."
Almost crying, Cal hugged Ethan through the duvet, took the first aid kit from his wrist and hooked it over his own, and hopped back out onto the balcony.