Disclaimer: Everything Twilight belongs to Stephenie Meyer.
Author's Note: (SOME IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENTS!)The amount of reviews for last chapter was amazing! Thanks so much for the crazy awesome support! I know this has been heartbreaking to read, but thank you so much for being patient with me and not going completely ballistic every time a chapter does not end so happily. It is very frustrating—even I want to just skip all this heart ache and pain—but it is necessary. It wouldn't be realistic if they just kiss and make-up; that would totally ruin the story. But because I have been holding out on divulging if this is a HEA story and there has been so much angst (and still a bit more to come) I will say this: chapter 15 is the turning point in the story. That is all I am saying. Now you have something possibly good or bad to look forward to. I know I suck and seem to be torturing you all, but it must be done. I hope you all enjoy this chapter! :)
Bella POV
It had been four days since mine and Edward's 'date night.' We hadn't really talked much since then—despite the fact that we slept in the same bed every night. It just seemed…weird. Things were weird and I knew I wasn't the only one who felt it.
The night had started out smoothly enough, what with Alice prodding and pinching me for an hour before Edward even showed up. And then the way he so naturally told me I looked beautiful. He made me feel beautiful.
Then at the restaurant. The way he told the waitress I was his wife; the way he practically caressed the words sent a chill through my spine and I couldn't help but just stare at him. I was sure he thought there was seriously something wrong with me, but at that moment I just didn't care. I just wanted to sit there and look at him forever.
Then we went to the park and ran into Jessica Stanley and Mike Newton. To say I was shocked that they were together was the understatement of the century. I could not believe that those two had actually gotten married and started a life together—and a pretty good one at that.
Jessica and Mike were always on and off, fighting every other day through out most of high school—they broke up practically every other week. I just couldn't believe that even they had survived everything and seemed genuinely, unbelievably happy.
Edward and I, on the other hand, had pretty much shattered. We had been so in love, so absolutely perfect together and everyone saw it—including me. But seeing Mike and Jessica so in love and happy made me realize how shitty things really had turned out for Edward and me. We couldn't even compete with the Newton's and that was saying something.
And now here we were, four days later, just the six of us driving down to the place where everything had started. Where I had found my life and my love and a place that was my home.
Alice and Emmett had apparently been planning a trip back to Forks since the day everyone had arrived at the lake house. It seemed like the perfect weekend because Carlisle and Esme wanted some time alone together and I hadn't visited Charlie in forever. But it was different somehow having to lie to Charlie about Edward and me. It was like he always sensed when things were wrong, but just never said anything about it. I wasn't sure if he would sense something was wrong now, but if he did I wasn't sure how I was going to react to that. I knew he would never flat out ask about anything—Charlie just wasn't that type of person. But just the fact that he might know was enough to put me on edge and have me bouncing in my seat, biting my nails for the majority of the trip.
I was mildly aware of someone calling my name as I gazed absentmindedly out the window. The voice kept fading in and out, but once I finally tuned in I found that it was crystal clear.
"Bella!" Rosalie and Alice screeched at the same exact time.
I jumped a little in my seat and looked up at the two of them. We had rented a black suburban that seated eight for this trip so that we could all fit in the same car and still be comfortable. Emmett was up front driving with Rosalie in the passenger seat while Alice and Jasper were in the center seats. Edward and I got the section in the very back.
"Where did you go?" Alice asked, concerned as she, Rosalie, Jasper, and—yes—Edward all stared at me. I saw Emmett glancing at me in the rearview mirror occasionally.
"N-Nowhere," I stuttered, hating being put on the spot like this. "Just thinking about seeing Charlie again after all these years." I forced out a pathetic laugh that I was sure nobody took seriously.
"We were trying to tell you to call Charlie and tell him we're thirty minutes away. Can you handle that?" Rosalie snapped sarcastically.
I looked at her in somewhat surprise, wondering where this sudden anger had come from. But before I could give her a taste of her own bitchy medicine, Edward spoke up.
"What crawled up your ass, Rose?" he asked with a chuckle.
"Hey, what does and does not crawl up my wife's ass is none of your goddamn business!" Emmett hollered, causing the car to swerve slightly when he raised his voice.
"Jesus, Em! Watch the road!" Alice complained. She turned back to me with wide, worried eyes. "Are you sure you're okay, Bell?" she whispered.
I sighed and nodded, hoping to appease her for now. "I'm fine, Al. I'll call Charlie now," I said quietly, reaching in my bag for my phone.
Charlie was excited to hear from me and very happy to know that we were almost there. He said he was waiting for us to arrive and had the bed situation all sorted out. I had wanted to get a motel or something, but Charlie wasn't having any of it. Alice and Jasper were getting the spare bedroom and Rosalie and Emmett were fine taking the couch in the living room since it was a pullout. And—because it would be very suspicious for us not to agree—Edward and I got my old bedroom. Great.
I hung up with Charlie and sighed, staring down at my phone for a few minutes just thinking about what these next couple of days would entail. Of course I was excited to see my father, but considering the circumstances it certainly did not seem like the best time.
I let out another heavy sigh and resumed biting my nails and bouncing my leg up and down nervously. Edward must have noticed my distress.
"It'll be fine, Bella," he said quietly.
His voice startled me a bit since he hadn't spoken directly to me during the entire drive to Forks. We actually hadn't talked to one another—I mean really talk—since our 'date.' There was this sudden invisible line between us, separating us from each other for some unknown reason.
I looked up at him and nodded curtly. "Yea, I know. I'm just happy I'm going to see Charlie," I said softly. Even I wasn't convinced by my reasoning.
"It's just two days," Edward whispered encouragingly. I nodded again, but didn't say anything.
No one talked for the rest of the trip there. When we finally arrived at the house, Emmett parked the car in the driveway and we all got out. I was shocked that the house seemed to look exactly the same as it had when I had been in high school. Even my old, red truck was parked outside by the curb. I actually offered a genuine smile to it. It was sad that the only thing I could offer real emotion to was an inanimate object, but apparently that was what my life had come to these days.
"There's my girl," I heard Charlie say from the porch.
I looked up at him and smiled as he walked down to meet me in the driveway halfway. I practically leaped into his arms, not realizing how much I had really missed my father until that moment.
"Dad," I breathed, closing my eyes and taking in his familiar, comforting scent.
"I missed you, Bells," he said in a raspy voice full of emotion. For a second, I actually thought Charlie was going to cry.
I finally pulled away from him and sure enough his eyes were a little red with unshed tears. I knew he was holding them back in an attempt to remain the tough dad I always knew so I gave him a small smile and stepped aside so the others could greet him.
"Well, well, well. None of you have changed a bit," Charlie announced happily as he pulled Alice and Emmett in for a huge hug. He had known the Cullens since they were children and had met Jasper and Rosalie toward the end of high school once they started dating Alice and Emmett.
"It's been so long, Charlie!" Alice exclaimed happily as Emmett nodded in agreement and the three of them pulled away from each other.
"Nice to see you again, Charlie," Jasper said genuinely as he shook Charlie's hand.
Rosalie stepped up next and wrapped her arms around Charlie's neck, giving him a big hug. He was a little taken aback at first—he wasn't the type to show a lot of emotion—but he eventually hugged her back before pulling away and finally looking at Edward.
"Good to see you again, boy," he said sincerely, holding out his hand. Edward nodded and smiled partially as he stepped forward and shook it. It shocked the hell out of me when Charlie hesitated and then pulled Edward in for one of those awkward 'man hugs.' "You taking care of my little girl?" Charlie asked him quietly. Edward just nodded and Charlie sighed contently and finally pulled away before turning back to all of us. "Alright, you guys must be starving. Sue's got something good cookin' for you guys."
Sue and Harry Clearwater were good friends of my father's. I was happy that he wasn't alone here in Forks; he had a lot of friends who were practically family. I knew he had dated a few women on several occasions, but he just didn't feel like settling down again. He seemed genuinely happy so I never worried about him.
We all smiled as the guys got all of the bags and followed us into my old childhood home. Even the inside looked exactly as I had remembered, not a hair out of place.
"Why don't you kids go get set up in your rooms? Rosalie and Emmett, you guys can put your things in my bedroom to set up later," Charlie suggested. "Harry will be over in a bit and then we can eat."
We all nodded and went our separate ways. It was a little awkward when it was just Edward and I left and the two of us headed to my old bedroom. I took slow, deliberate steps as I approached the familiar door, remembering all those times Edward would sneak up into my room. We would talk for hours, kiss for hours; sometimes he would just stay with me until I fell asleep and when I woke up in the morning, he would be gone, at home getting ready for school. It always made me happy spending all night with him and then seeing him the next day. It was perfect.
Usually those memories made me elated. But now they were just these big, dark holes lingering over my head, reminding me of how screwed up things had gotten.
I took a deep, steadying breath and finally turned the knob and opened the door. The room looked the same—I shouldn't have been surprised considering nothing else about this house was any different.
I glanced back at Edward and offered him an uneasy smile as I walked over to my old bed that still had the same comforter on it, and set my bags down. Edward stood awkwardly in the doorway, placing his suitcases near my dresser.
"Hasn't changed at all, has it?" he murmured quietly, almost to himself.
I turned around and looked at him. He was gazing at the old pictures on my dresser that remained there from my time in Forks. The one that stuck out the most was the picture of Edward and me at our junior prom—the place where we had finally realized our feelings for each other. I practically froze in place when he carefully picked up the frame and examined the picture.
"Do you remember this?" he asked, looking back up at me with a crooked smile on his face.
I sighed and nodded, actually offering him a real half smile as I walked over and stood beside him, gazing down at the picture. "Alice leant me that dress," I chuckled quietly as I shook my head, thinking about how Alice was still the same, exuberant thing she had always been.
"I didn't even know what a corsage was until she told me," Edward laughed, looking back down at the picture as we both became lost in our own memories.
"Do you remember how she forced me to go? Like some crazy banshee woman," I said, unable to contain my laughter.
I turned and walked over to my bed, sitting on the end of it as I watched Edward's mouth pull up into that familiar brilliant smile that I always loved. I wasn't sure what was going on, but it didn't feel strange talking to Edward so casually right now. I wasn't sure if it was the comfort of being in my own home or if the memories we had in this small town together just gave us the ability to act civil towards one another.
It wasn't that I was complaining. This light conversation was definitely a welcome change from the usual screaming matches that ensued or us constantly dancing around our problems and trying our best to force ourselves to get along.
However, here, in this room, it felt like it was just me and Edward—the two seventeen year olds who had fallen in love in a dinky little town and made it to the big times…before falling apart.
But I quickly shook off that last part. I wasn't about to ruin this strange, but nice sensation of just sitting here with Edward and being able to talk to him without constantly reminding myself of how things had gone so completely wrong between us. I wasn't ignoring the problems—I was simply putting them away to be dealt with at a more convenient time.
Okay, even I wasn't convinced by that excuse, but I decided to just forget about it for now and turn my attention back to Edward. He was still standing in the middle of the room, staring down at the picture in his hand.
"I know," he finally answered my previous statement. "She said it was complete blasphemy that you were going to miss out on your junior prom. Like the idea offended her or something." He laughed lightly as he put the picture back and hesitated before sitting on the computer chair at the desk next to me, turning it to face me.
I nodded and smiled at the memory. Alice had been a sophomore and was going with Jasper since he was a junior and only juniors and seniors were allowed to go to prom. She used the excuse of needing more people to help pay for the limo, but Edward and I both knew Alice had been trying to play matchmaker for us since day one. She said we both had feelings for each other and were just too blind to see it at the time.
We finally agreed to go together since we had nothing better to do and Alice wasn't letting up. I wasn't expecting the night to end with Edward's lips on mine and both of us revealing our true feelings for each other, but that's exactly what happened.
Long story short: Alice had been right.
"But it didn't turn out so bad," I said truthfully. "I had a good time with Alice and…everyone," I hesitated, not sure if I wanted to go down this path of conversation.
I wondered if Edward was thinking about how junior prom was indeed the night the two of us had officially begun our relationship. How it was the night that had changed our lives. How it was the night that everything just…came together.
He stared at me for a long time like he was expecting me to say more, but when I didn't he sighed and opened his mouth to say something. He was cut off by Charlie's voice flittering upstairs, announcing that dinner was ready.
I could hear Alice and Jasper shuffle out of their rooms and practically run downstairs and Emmett's bellowing voice when he announced how good everything smelled. Needless to say, mine and Edward's strange yet…meaningful moment was over. We both smile politely at one another before getting up and walking downstairs to the kitchen to join everyone.
We all said our 'hellos' to the Clearwater's. Their children Leah and Seth, who were a few years younger than us, were there as well. The rest of the evening consisted of everyone catching up on what had been happening over the last few years. The Clearwater's and Charlie were extremely happy for Alice and Jasper and of course had been invited to the wedding since they were old family friends of the Cullens as well.
None of them asked about mine and Edward's marriage life to which I was thankful for. Most questioning consisted of where we were living—we had to lie and say we were in the same condo as before—as well as where we were working and how things were in New York. They were surprised we hadn't bought a house yet and at that point things got a little awkward. But Edward came to the rescue by placing a reassuring hand on the back of my neck and telling them that we were keeping our options open.
It was a half-truth.
Everyone stuck around after dinner as we all ate dessert and heard tales from Charlie and Harry of their latest fishing adventures. The night started dying down and I insisted on helping Sue and Leah with the dishes because I really needed a distraction. It wasn't as hard as I thought it was going to be to lie to everyone about me and Edward, but it still felt weird.
Eventually the Clearwater's left and shortly after, Alice and Jasper called it a night and retreated to their room.
"Oh, Bells, just leave that for me tomorrow," Charlie insisted as he walked back into the kitchen with the empty plate that had the half-eaten chocolate cake on it from dessert.
Everyone else had situated themselves in the living room shortly after clean-up started, but I stuck around longer than necessary, not wanting to go in there and have to fake my marriage in front of my father any longer than necessary. I knew I was being ridiculous—mine and Edward's conversation upstairs had proven that we had the ability to be civil toward one another, but I still felt uneasy.
"It's fine, Dad, I don't mind," I told him as I took the plate from him and started wrapping Saran wrap over it.
He sighed, but knew by now that arguing with me over kitchen duties was a futile attempt. "Alright, well promise you won't strain yourself too much. I hate the thought of my daughter coming all this way just to clean up after her old dad."
I smiled and put the fully covered cake into the refrigerator before turning back to look at him. "I miss doing this stuff for you, though. It makes me feel like…I'm really at home," I finished softly, looking down.
"This will always be your home, Bells. And you and Edward are welcome anytime. I actually wished the two of you came around more."
My head snapped up and I looked into my father's sincere eyes. "Really?"
"Of course, Bella," he laughed, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. "You're all the way in New York. I mean…I worry about you." He paused for a minute and I felt the tears emerging. I wasn't used to Charlie showing so much emotion in one day. I wasn't used to him showing so much emotion…ever. "But I know Edward is taking care of my baby girl and that's all the reassurance a father needs."
I nodded and sighed, wiping the stray tears away from my face.
"Aw, Bells, I didn't mean to make you feel guilty," he said hastily as he wrapped his arms around me in a tight hug. "I know you have a life and a husband and a career. I'm just being selfish."
I shook my head as I buried my face deeper into Charlie's chest. "No you're not. I really do miss seeing you, Dad. I swear I'll visit more. I hate being so far away from everyone. You…the Cullens…" I trailed off as the truth in my words surprised even me. I really had missed all of them. It was like when Edward and I moved away, everything I knew was left behind.
I loved New York and the life Edward and I had begun together, but I couldn't help but wonder how things would have been different had we stayed in Washington. What if we had moved to Seattle where Edward was offered an equally substantial position at a law firm and I could go on pursuing my writing career? Would things have been different?
It was the old saying: What's done is done. I knew I couldn't turn back time to change the past, but I couldn't help but wonder where Edward and I would be right now had things gone differently. I had never really thought about it before, but being home now opened my eyes to that possibility.
But just as fast as those thoughts appeared, they also evaporated. There was no going back and changing the past. All there was left to do now was to make the best of what was happening in the present and hope that it made the future something to truly look forward to.
"I'm not used to seeing this sensitive side of you," I said with a small laugh after a few moments of silence, hoping to lighten the mood. I felt the vibrations of Charlie's soft laugh against the side of my head and I finally pulled away.
"Me either," he replied. "So you and Edward…you'll come visit more?" he asked hopefully.
It ripped my heart that it would only be me coming, but I couldn't tell him that. Not now. I simply nodded and he gave me a relieved smile before kissing my head and calling it a night.
Charlie left the kitchen and walked back into the living room to say goodnight to Rosalie, Emmett, and Edward as I went about distracting myself with dirty dishes in the kitchen.
I finished cleaning the kitchen half an hour later and decided I had stalled enough for one night. I didn't want to go into the living room and face Emmett and Rosalie, but I also didn't want to give them the satisfaction of knowing that their antics had hit a nerve with me and now I was just hiding from them. So with a resigned sigh, I grabbed the half empty bottle of champagne on the kitchen counter from earlier and headed into the living room.
"And the Swan emerges from her cave," Emmett announced, holding up his empty glass and actually having the audacity to think I would fill it for him.
"I'm pretty sure Swans don't live in caves, Emmett," I said quietly, rolling my eyes and sitting down on Charlie's lazy boy next to where Edward was sitting on the ground in front of the coffee table. Emmett and Rosalie were occupying the couch adjacent to us.
I filled mine and Edward's glass with champagne out of spite and placed the bottle on the coffee table as Emmett and Rosalie held their empty glasses in their hands and glared at us.
"What, are you two suddenly besties now?" Rosalie sneered as she grabbed the bottle of champagne and poured Emmett and herself and glass.
"What, are you done being a bitch now?" I spat back in the same mocking tone she had just used as I took a sip of my drink. Edward chuckled mid-sip and it ended up being choked back into his glass.
Rosalie practically slammed the bottle back on the coffee table and glared at me before sitting back on the couch and shaking her head, swirling her drink around in her glass and watching it with fake interest. "You guys sure are getting better at this whole lying thing. I didn't think you had the heart to lie to Charlie's face." She looked back up at me and smirked when she realized she had struck a nerve.
"What is your problem, Rose?" I demanded, shaking my head and leaning forward, placing my drink on the coffee table in preparation to hash this out with her once and for all. I was sick of these games.
She just shrugged noncommittally, placing her drink on the coffee table as well and leaning forward, mirroring my position. "No problem. I just don't get how you can be so coy about it. I mean, he's your father. The Bella I used to know couldn't tell a lie to save her life, but apparently…" she trailed off, waving her hand in my direction,"…things change. And sometimes for the worse. Isn't that right, Edward?" she asked in a condescending voice as her gaze turned to Edward's.
Edward looked up at Rosalie and sighed exasperatedly. "Honestly, are you two not fucking bored of all this shit yet?" he asked both of them angrily.
"Are you two not fucking bored of ignoring your problems and actually sitting down like mature adults, yet?" Emmett shot back.
"Fuck off, Emmett," I spat back harshly, shocking the hell out of myself and apparently everyone else in the room as all wide eyes turned to me in surprise.
"Jeez, Bella, where did this sudden aggression come from?" Rosalie asked me mockingly. I was sick of her patronizing jokes.
"Okay, Rose, enough," I said, standing up and staring both her and Emmett down. "What's going on between me and Edward is none of your guys' business and I'm really fucking sick of you guys interfering and playing these stupid games. Obviously they've done nothing but cause problems so just give it up already."
Both Rosalie and Emmett seemed taken aback by my sudden blow up and the two of them sank back into the couch and just watched me carefully as I took slow, calming breaths.
"Look, I'm sorry for yelling, but I am so sick of this. Please stop. Either tell everyone what's going on because I know you both want to…or just stop torturing us," I pleaded, feeling really emotionally drained. "I'm going to bed. I'll see you guys tomorrow."
They offered me mumbled 'goodnights' as I walked past them and headed upstairs to my bedroom. I didn't close the door behind me, knowing that Edward would be up shortly. I decided that before he came I would get ready for bed.
I changed into my pajamas and went into the bathroom to brush my teeth and wash my face. I opened the door when I was done and saw Edward standing in the hallway across from the door dressed in his pajamas with his toothbrush in hand. I smiled politely at him and brushed past him toward my bedroom.
"Bella," he called quietly.
I paused just as I reached my doorway and turned around to look at him, wondering if he was planning on hashing things out with me now too.
"Are you alright?" he asked me, concern evident in his voice and visible in his eyes.
I sighed and contemplated my answer. Part of me wanted to lie and say I was fine just so I wouldn't have to talk about anything right now, but the other part of me—the weaker part—wanted to just cry in his arms and spill all of my anger and frustration and worries out once and for all.
I decided I was far too drained to do that at the moment so I kept my response short even though I knew it would speak volumes.
"No."
I stood there for a minute as we watched each other, my answer hanging in the air between us. I wondered what he would make of it.
Surprisingly enough, he nodded and offered me a small smile. "Me either," he said softly before walking into the bathroom and closing the door behind him.
I stood there in the hallway for a few minutes not really thinking about anything. I was just trying to figure out what the hell was going on. It felt like our simple answers to one another said so much more than any other words we had ever spoken to each other. We were both hurting. And for some reason, we were both open to admitting it to each other now. But we didn't divulge the facts. We just left things unsaid, but at the same time said everything that was needed to be said. I felt on edge and knew I needed to sleep things off. Things were getting…strange. And I wasn't sure how to deal with it, especially now in my half-asleep state.
I walked into my old bedroom and got under my warm covers, relishing in the familiarity. I was drifting in and out of consciousness when it suddenly occurred to me that Edward and I had not figured out our sleeping arrangements. My bed was big enough for the both of us—we had shared it on many occasions—but I wasn't sure if sleeping in the same bed would be good for us, especially here in my old bedroom where so many memories existed.
I didn't know where else he would go though so I decided to just stay there and let him decide. If he climbed into bed with me, I wouldn't say anything. And if he didn't, I would probably just stay up all night wondering why—maybe he was afraid I would scream at him for it.
These thoughts were cut off, however, as I heard the bedroom door open and then close softly. I heard the quiet and familiar shuffling of his feet and then felt the comforter being lifted up slightly before the other side of the bed shifted from the added weight. I was lying on my side facing away from him and I heard Edward let out a small sigh. I don't know why, but as I closed my eyes contently, I couldn't stop the small smile that spread across my face.
XxXxX
"Ow, Alice! Seriously, the hair pulling is getting really old," I scolded as Alice brushed my hair roughly one last time.
"I'm sorry, I can't help it. You're hair just gets so…out of hand at times," she defended, adding some hair spray to keep my wavy curls in place.
I don't know how I had let Alice talk me into going to Port Angeles tonight, but then again how did I ever let Alice talk me into anything? She was persistent, persistent, persistent.
It was our second night in Forks and we would be leaving tomorrow morning. The last thing I really wanted to do was go out clubbing.
I was content though because Charlie and I had spent the entire afternoon together just talking—something we never did. Everyone else had gone out to shop, but I wanted to spend extra time with Charlie. He started to insist that Edward come too, but I knew that would not turn out so good. One look in my eyes and Edward declined politely before leaving with everyone else.
It had been a nice day. We went to our favorite diner for lunch and spent the rest of the day walking around Forks, talking about everything going on in our lives, connecting in a way we never had when I was a child. I promised to come visit him more often and insisted he come to New York so I could show him around. He acted nonchalant about the idea of coming to a big city, but I could see the excitement in his eyes.
It felt good talking to my dad about everything. Edward was only brought up once and I handled it with grace. I wasn't sure how I was going to break the news of the divorce to him, but I decided to just figure that out when the time came.
"Tonight's going to be fun. We're going to this new club in Port Angeles and you're going to love it! The guys are meeting us there at eight," Alice continued casually as she put the finishing touches on my make-up.
Edward, Jasper, and Emmett had gone to Port Angeles a few hours prior to go check out some of their old hangouts. I was somewhat thankful for that because the time apart from Edward was good for me. It allowed me to clear my head. I didn't have to be constantly aware of myself and make sure that I was acting like a good wife at all times.
"Let's go, bitches!" Rosalie hollered as she sauntered into my room wearing a barely there, red, strapless dress.
"Language, Rose," I warned, only half-joking. "Charlie's downstairs."
"He already left to go to Harry's so chill, Bella," Rosalie spat back. I could tell it came out harsher than she had intended.
"What's with you guys?" Alice asked distractedly as she finished applying my blush.
"Oh nothing," Rosalie said wistfully. "Bella is just mad because Emmett and I know something she doesn't want us to know." She winked at me and smirked as Alice laughed obliviously.
"What, did you guys walk in on her and Edward in an awkward situation?" Alice joked, finally getting up, letting me know I was done.
"Something like that," Rosalie answered smugly, making sure to look straight into my eyes as she said it.
I glared at her as I stood up and grabbed my clutch, following Alice out of the room as Rosalie trailed behind us, whistling proudly to herself. I chose to ignore her.
We had called a taxi to pick us up since Emmett and the guys had taken the suburban. Alice sat in the middle of Rosalie and me and I was thankful for the distance. I couldn't put up with her snide comments for another minute.
"You look hot, Bella!" Alice chirped excitedly. "Edward won't be able to keep his hands off you for a second!"
"We'll see," Rosalie said, smiling to herself at her own little private joke.
Alice didn't hear her, but I did. Ignoring Rosalie was going to be a lot harder than I thought. But I distracted myself by taking in what I was wearing. It was a simple black, strapless dress that stopped just above my knees. I was also wearing a pair of simple black heels—forced on by Alice—and a black, button down coat since it was freezing outside.
I smiled to myself because Alice was right. It was a rare occasion that I thought of myself as attractive, but I did look pretty good tonight and I was actually a little excited.
We started nearing the club, but the traffic was horrible. There was apparently an accident on the main street so we were just sitting there in the car not moving. The club was a few blocks down so we decided to just walk the rest of the way.
As Alice finished tipping the driver, I looked across the street and saw that one of my favorite bookstores was still in the same place. The lights inside indicated that it was open so I decided I had to go take a look.
"Hey, you guys want to go check out the bookstore?" I asked, knowing what the answer would be.
Alice hopped onto the sidewalk and looked at me like I was an alien from another planet. "Are you kidding, Bella?"
"It's been a while, come on," I pleaded, knowing it was a futile attempt.
Alice looked at Rosalie with the same disgusted look on her face and I finally sighed and rolled my eyes. "Okay, how about this? The club is just around the corner from here, right?" I asked. Alice nodded. "Okay, I'll go check out the bookstore and meet you guys there in fifteen minutes."
Alice contemplated for a few minutes as Rosalie checked her manicured nails disinterestedly.
"Are you sure, Bells?" Alice asked worriedly.
I nodded. "Yes. Fifteen minutes, I promise. If I'm not back by then, you have my permission to call the police," I laughed reassuringly.
She rolled her eyes and laughed as well before hugging me goodbye. "Fine, but only fifteen minutes and then I'm sending out a search party," she threatened.
"Deal." I smiled and pulled away from her and offered Rosalie a curt smile as the two linked arms and made their way down the busy street.
I sighed and wrapped my arms tighter around my coat as I cautiously walked across the street into the bookstore. It had changed a lot since I had been there last, but they still had the same classics that I loved.
I wasn't going to buy anything considering I had almost every book here anyways, but it still felt nice being here. I used to come to this bookstore every weekend. Even after Edward and I started dating, he would drive me down here and insist on paying for the books I was getting even though I hated when he did it.
I touched the binding of one of my favorite classics, Romeo and Juliet, and smiled at how much Edward detested that play. We could sit for hours on end having heated discussions about it. Those days seemed forever ago.
I took my cell phone out of my clutch and saw that it had been a little over ten minutes since I had arrived. Knowing Alice would carry on with her threat of sending out the search party, I decided to leave.
When I walked out onto the street, I saw it was even busier than before. The police had arrived where the accident had occurred and the sidewalk was closed, causing quite a crowd. I decided I would get lost in there and end up being way too late, so I went around the back of the bookstore, remembering there was a way through an alley I could take to get back to the main street. I knew it would take me almost directly in front of the club.
It was getting colder out and so I crossed my arms over my chest and walked a little faster as I came to the familiar open space between a few of the buildings. I saw a couple of men standing around talking and laughing. They looked to be in their mid-twenties, around my age if not a few years older. I was about to walk straight past them when one of them blocked my way.
"Hey there," he slurred, grabbing onto my upper arm.
His breath fanned across my face and I gagged because it reeked of alcohol. I tried pulling my arm away, but he wouldn't let go.
"Where are you off to dressed like that?" the other one asked, coming to stand behind me at an uncomfortable proximity.
"Get away from me!" I yelled, trying to shove him away with my only free arm.
"Now, now," the one behind me whispered, brushing my hair over my shoulder and placing a kiss on my neck. It sent unwanted shivers of fear down my spine. "You know you're being a little cock-tease walking around like that."
I pulled my arm back and hammered him in the groin, causing him to wheeze and stumble back as he grabbed onto his male parts.
"You little bitch!" the other one holding my arm sneered. He pulled his arm back—ready to slap me across the face—and I shrank away, unable to pull out of his grasp.
"Hey!" a loud, angry voice yelled from behind me.
The guy looked over my shoulder, his hand still suspended in the air, and before I knew it, he was punched across the face and fell to the ground with a heavy thud.
I looked up, completely and absolutely terrified, and stared back into the eyes of a very livid Edward.
He broke his gaze from me, however, when the guy I had punched in the groin got up and started staggering toward us. Edward punched him in the stomach twice and then easily pushed him to the ground.
"Don't you fucking dare get up," he spat to both of them as he grabbed my arm and started pulling me with him.
Edward started dragging me hurriedly through the last alleyway and toward the main street. I looked behind me once and saw the two men staggering onto their feet and sprinting in the opposite direction.
Edward didn't say two words to me as he continued pulling me with him to the club. His grasp on my arm was starting to get painful, but I decided it was best not to say anything. I had never seen Edward this angry before. Ever.
We finally got to the club and of course there was no line waiting outside, seeing as this was a pretty small town.
"Go find Alice and Rosalie," Edward said in an emotionless tone as he practically shoved me to the doorway and started off in the opposite direction.
I watched as he turned the corner to the side of the club and after a few seconds, I followed him. I was confused when I saw him leaning against the side of the club, looking down at the ground and pinching the bridge of his nose.
I took a few steps toward him and when he finally heard me approach, his head snapped up in my direction. The look of anger in his eyes took me by surprise and I actually stumbled back a few steps.
"I said go inside, Isabella," he said harshly.
Using my full first name was never a good sign with Edward. He only ever did it to get on my nerves or when he was really, really pissed at me for something. I figured it had to be the latter, but I couldn't understand why he would be angry with me.
"What's wrong?" I asked quietly, afraid to set him off.
He exhaled sharply and closed his eyes as he ran both of his hands roughly through his hair before letting his arms fall to his sides. He looked at me again, some of the anger gone, but most of it very much present.
"Do you have…any semblance…of self-preservation?" he asked slowly and steadily, forcing himself to remain calm.
His question shocked the hell out of me. "What?"
"Why would you just go walking in a dark alley in the middle of the night?! Why weren't you with Rosalie and Alice?!" he asked, stepping away from the wall and raising his voice.
"I-I went to the bookstore," I stammered, confused, feeling like I was being reprimanded like a six-year-old.
"So you just decided to walk alone in a dark alley dressed like…" he trailed off, waving his hand at my outfit as if to prove his point.
I looked down at my clothes, more confused than ever, before finally looking back up at him. "How did you even know where I was?"
He looked at me incredulously, obviously thinking I would be more concerned about the fact that I had just been nearly violated than trying to figure out how Edward knew where to find me.
"Emmett, Jasper, and I were walking down to the club," he said exasperatedly. "I saw you walk out of the bookstore alone and I told them I was going to go get you. And then I see you walking around the back! Do you have any idea what could have happened to you if I hadn't been there?!"
"Of course I do, Edward, I just…I just…" I couldn't come up with a plausible response. I mean, I saw now how stupid it was, but I had gone that way a million times when I was in high school—granted it was daytime, but still. He had no right to lecture me like I was a child. "What do you care, anyways?" I demanded angrily, crossing my arms defensively over my chest.
Edward stared at me like I had grown an extra head or something. "Are you listening to yourself?" he asked disbelievingly. "Why do I care? Why do I fucking care? Because I care about you, Bella! As hard as it may seem for you to believe, I care about you! Do you have any idea what could have happened to you had I not been there? Those disgusting…repulsive…fucking assholes. They touched you! They would have done so much more if…" he stopped short, looking down and shaking his head, obviously trying to rid himself of the thoughts.
I stood there watching him as he struggled to re-collect himself. My mouth was hanging open, but I wasn't sure exactly what I could say to him. He was so worried…so afraid for me. I knew Edward had never stopped caring about me. Even after everything we had been through, I knew Edward always cared. But still, seeing him here now, showing it so openly...
I took a slow step toward him and reached my hand out to touch his arm. "I'm sorry, Edward," I whispered. "I wasn't thinking."
He finally looked up at me, all traces of anger gone and now replaced by hurt. "How can you think for one second that I don't care about you, Bella?" he asked me in a soft voice.
I shook my head and shrugged, trying to keep my own emotions at bay for the time being.
"Is that what you think?" he pressed.
I finally looked into his eyes and let out the breath I hadn't realized I'd been holding. "No," I said surely.
"Then why did you say it?"
I shrugged and successfully kept the tears that were threatening to escape away. "I don't know. It just came out in the heat of the moment. Again, I wasn't thinking." I hadn't realized I was shaking—both from the terrifying ordeal I had just been through and from all the emotions I was currently feeling.
Edward noticed my trembling. He looked down at my hand that was still on his arm.
"You're shaking," he whispered.
"I'm sorry," I blurted out before I could stop myself. I wasn't sure what I was apologizing for.
Edward's eyes snapped up to mine again and before I knew what he was doing, he wrapped his arms around me and held me close. I closed my eyes and relished in the familiar and warm scent that was Edward. I wrapped my arms tightly around his waist and just stood there with him, holding onto him like my life depended on it. I was scared…and confused…and a hell of a lot of other things that I wasn't ready to face right now, but with Edward holding me, I felt safe.
"Did they hurt you?" he whispered, softly brushing his hands through my hair.
I shook my head against his chest. "No," I breathed. "Thank you…for saving me." It was probably the lamest thing in the world to say, but I wanted to let him know how thankful I was that he was there. "And thank you for caring," I finally whispered after a moment's silence.
Nothing else was said as we continued standing there, holding onto each other like we were the other's life raft. I wasn't sure what this meant, but at the moment, I didn't care. I was just content with Edward holding me for the first time since our separation. It was hard admitting it to myself, but it wasn't simply Forks and Charlie and my house and my truck that made this place feel like home. It was Edward, too.
Author's Note: More angst? Really? I know you guys must be like GET. ON. WITH. IT. I know it is killing you guys—it's killing me too—but everything is going to collide very soon. It's only a matter of time before things blow up. Hope you all still enjoyed it! Please review!