I'm sorry I haven't updated this story for ages - I forgot I was writing it! I think there will be one more chapter after this.
CBloom2, it is just how they should be! I'm sad we won't see them tomorrow night, but also kind of dreading what will happen in the episode after that! I don't know much, but I'm worried. Thank you for your review.
Tanith Panic, I wasn't going to write in any more about Megan, but I decided I would, just for you! Ethan did do really well and I'm sure Cal's proud of him too - I hope he can feel proud of himself. Thank you for your review.
Tato Potato, you're right about it taking a while to sink in - sometimes it doesn't seem like an achievement when it's something most people can deal with. But Ethan really was wonderful! Thank you for your review.
Bonnie Sveen Fan, thank you for your review. I wanted a mixed success for Ethan because he really was still terrified when he climbed the Ferris wheel, but the important thing is he did help Megan.
X-Sammii-X, thank you for your review. I love Cal's caring big brother side too, but we don't see it often - either Cal's treating Ethan badly or Ethan's rejecting his support! Maybe that's why we appreciate it so much!
"Do either of you know anyone we can call for Megan?" asked Dixie. "A friend; a relative?"
Cal shook his head. "She hasn't been here long. I haven't talked to her that much, though it wasn't for want of trying! But I can travel with her in the ambulance if you like."
"No, I'll go," said Ethan. "You need to rest your ankle. Come with me now and I'll let you into the flat and get you settled with some ice and some painkillers; by then, Dixie and Iain should be ready to leave."
Cal looked at Ethan a bit worriedly, but then he nodded gratefully and let Ethan help him up. Cal was clearly still in a bit of pain and the crutches were of limited help: they helped him keep his ankle off the floor, but every time he hopped, it jolted painfully. Once they got into the flat, Ethan helped Cal to lie on the sofa, found a cushion for his ankle and covered him with the duvet.
"Thanks," murmured Cal. He was pale and sweating from the pain.
"There's a bucket here already, if you still feel sick, and some water for your tablets," said Ethan. He found it helped to concentrate on medical things. It stopped him from thinking and feeling. He touched Cal's shoulder. "Thank you for the bucket and everything, by the way. It was really thoughtful. And thank you for saving me."
Cal smiled through his pain. "It was about time I came to your rescue for a change."
Ethan sat in the staff room, waiting for news. He'd already texted Cal to ask how he was and to say Megan had arrived safely and was in Resus with Connie. Cal had replied that the pain had gone off a bit and he was glad Megan had got to the hospital.
Ethan had offered to work in cubicles, but Zoe had told him there was no need. She probably thought she was doing Ethan a favour, but he found it so difficult, sitting in there on his own with nothing to do but think. He started to go over everything in his mind again.
The staff room around him faded and he found himself looking down from the balcony at the ground below. He closed his eyes, but he could still see it. Far, far below. His body swayed and he felt his breathing beginning to quicken as his heart raced inside his chest.
He could have fallen. He could very easily have fallen and if he had, he would be seriously injured. Perhaps dead.
But the worst thing was that Cal could have fallen too. Walking across a ledge was dangerous. Limping across a ledge… Ethan was now shaking so hard, he could hear his chair shaking with him. His palms were damp with sweat and he thought how easily it would have been for them to slip from the rail. His chest began to ache as he gasped and panted for breath. The room appeared to be spinning. He thought he might be sobbing with fear, but all he could hear was a ringing sound that went on and on and on.
He wanted it to stop. He wanted everything to stop.
He knew what he needed to do. He needed to keep breathing, slowly and deeply, and gradually everything would return to normal. But every time he thought he'd gained a modicum of control, he saw the terrifying drop again and it all started up again. Something seemed to be pressing hard on the left-hand side of his chest, stopping him from breathing in.
He held his hand to his chest, feeling his heart pounding beneath it. He knew he was just panicking; that the symptoms were part of his anxiety; that it was unlikely to last more than half an hour and could be gone in five minutes, but knowing that didn't help. He wanted to run to safety, but he didn't know where safety was. He couldn't continue with what he was doing because all he was doing was sitting here, thinking. He breathed in through his nose, trying to count to five, but he couldn't get past two and that panicked him even more.
He wasn't dying. He knew he wasn't dying and in a way that disappointed him because he knew what a stupid, cowardly failure he was, but it felt so horrible and although he knew exactly what to do, he couldn't do it.
"Ethan? Ethan!"
He thought he knew the voice, but that was impossible. His brother was resting at home. He couldn't be at the hospital. But when Ethan opened his eyes, Cal was there, leaning his crutches against the sofa and carefully lowering himself down beside Ethan.
Cal took Ethan's hands and held them tightly. "It's okay, Ethan. It's okay. I'm here now and you're going to get through this. I'm going to help you calm down and that should ease your symptoms."
Ethan sobbed and whimpered a bit and was convinced it was impossible, but eventually, Cal's voice got through to him and soothed him and before long, the dizziness had stopped and his heart was slowed and he found himself not on the balcony but in the staff room with Cal's arms around him.
"What are you doing here?" he asked once he felt able to speak. "You should be resting."
"I was worried about you," said Cal. "Ethan, you've just lived through one of your worst nightmares. If either of us needs to rest, it's you! I knew you'd start re-living it and I knew they'd probably leave you on your own. So I got a taxi and came down here to check on you - and I think it was a good thing I did."
"I'm glad you're here," said Ethan. "I really am. But you've probably made your ankle so much worse and it's my fault."
Cal rubbed his shoulder and smiled. "Then you can make up for it by waiting on me hand and foot when we get home! But it's not too bad, Ethan. It's a lot better now I've had my painkillers."
"But you were throwing up!"
"I nearly threw up when I injured it too," said Cal. "I was probably due for my painkillers."
Ethan shook his head. "It wasn't just that. It was my fault. I'm so sorry, Cal."
"You're sorry after what you did?" Cal hugged him. "You were amazing, Ethan. Really amazing and I'm going to keep saying that till you believe me." He took one of Ethan's hands in his and looked at it for a moment. "You know, your hands have stopped shaking now." He made his irritating 'cute' face. "So if you really wanted to make it up to me, you could make me a cup of tea?"
Ethan smiled and stood up. "Of course I will, Cal. You deserve it."
"You're amazing, Ethan!" said Cal.
Ethan was grateful for Cal's presence beside him as they went into Megan's room. He wasn't panicking anymore, but he still felt shaky and fragile and although he'd washed his face, he was sure it was obvious he'd been crying.
Megan's leg was encased in plaster and there was a bandage around her head. She looked pale and drawn, but she'd asked to see them and Connie had agreed a couple of minutes wouldn't hurt.
"Hey," she said, her eyes meeting Ethan's. She even managed a small smile. "Thank you, Ethan."
"Oh, I didn't do anything," said Ethan. "Really."
Cal slung his arm around Ethan's shoulder. As he was holding a crutch, this was even more uncomfortable than usual, but this didn't seem to occur to Cal. "My brother has always been too modest, Megan. He climbed along the ledge between our balconies and he treated your head wound and prevented shock. He really is a bit of a hero."
"Caleb!" said Ethan. Not only was this information severely misleading, he didn't feel like a hero in any sense.
Megan lifted her hand from the bed. It trembled for a moment and then fell back, but even Ethan guessed what she was doing. "You're a hero to me, Ethan."
Ethan took her hand in his. "I'm not, but I'm glad I helped in some small way. How are you feeling?"
"Lucky," said Megan.
Ethan frowned slightly, his gaze moving to her leg and back to her face. "I wouldn't say fracturing your leg and getting a head injury is lucky."
"I was lucky… because you were there," said Megan, and smiled at him. "Thank you."
"You're welcome," said Ethan. "I was pleased to help. But Cal did most of the work. Really."
Megan didn't seem to hear him. "Ethan… when I'm better, will you come to my flat for dinner?"
"We'd be delighted," said Ethan. "Though I'm not sure you should be cooking with a broken leg. It might be better to wait till you've recovered."
Beside him, Cal sighed and muttered something that sounded like: "Ethan, you idiot."
Ethan couldn't think why he'd said it now, but it wasn't as though he disagreed. "So perhaps you should come to us for dinner first," he said.
This time, Cal smiled and gave Ethan an approving nod. That didn't make much sense either.
"Send us a text when you get out of hospital and I'm sure Ethan will come round and check you've got everything you need," said Cal. "Ethan, why don't you put your number in Megan's phone for her."
"Is that okay?" said Ethan, and Cal sighed again.
"If you don't mind, that would be really helpful," said Megan, smiling at Ethan.
Ethan thought Megan would probably much prefer Cal's number, but he was a bit worried Cal might overbalance if he tried texting and Ethan couldn't remember what Cal's number was so he put his own number in instead. "Text me anytime. I'll get Cal to text you later so he'll have your number too."
The door opened. "Megan, your parents are here. Dr Hardy, you'd better take your brother home."
"Yes, of course," said Ethan. He was exhausted, though he knew he would attend to Cal's needs before he even though about himself. "Get well soon, Megan. I'm sure we're both looking forward to dinner. "
"Thank you, Ethan. Thank you for saving me."