Disclaimer: Everything Twilight belongs to Stephenie Meyer.
Author's Note: You guys are amazing. The late update is basically due to my real life kicking me in the ass sometimes and I am truly sorry. I'm not going to bore you with a long author's note, so enjoy this chapter! :)
Bella POV
It was an odd thing to hold Edward's hand in front of Rosalie and Emmett. It was even weirder kissing him in front of them. We had pretended to be getting along for the family at first, and then we had to pretend we were still fighting for Emmett and Rosalie. Pretend. Pretend. Pretend. It had always been pretend this or pretend that. It was strangely…freeing…to know that there was no more pretending. Ever.
I grasped Edward's hand tighter as the six of us left the club. Jasper had Alice in his arms, carrying her to the car since she was on the brink of passing out. Once we got to Jasper's car, Emmett and Rosalie parted ways to their own vehicle.
"Goodnight," Rosalie whispered in my ear as she hugged me tightly.
She pulled back and I smiled at her. "I'll see you tomorrow," I said, because we both knew that for the rest of the night, I would be with Edward. Only Edward.
I slid into the car and Edward followed in after me. Alice groaned a little when we went over a speed bump and I reached forward and touched her hand.
"Alice?" I said softly. "Are you okay, sweetheart?"
She nodded and barely managed to open her eyes. "Don't feel good," she slurred quietly.
"Honey, are you going to throw up?" Jasper asked her worriedly. We were about five minutes away from the lake house and I was praying that she would be able to hold it.
Apparently she could not.
"No, no, no, no, no, no, no!" she sputtered anxiously, shaking her head as she put a hand firmly over her mouth.
"Shit, Jasper, pull over," Edward said frantically, taking off his seatbelt and scooting forward to look Alice over.
Jasper pulled onto the side of the road and Alice practically jumped out before the car even made a full stop. I took my seatbelt off and quickly got out, going to where she was crouched down behind a large bush, seemingly out of sight of anyone who would drive by.
I sat beside her and gathered her hair behind her—Alice's hair had always been short so the strands kept falling over her face and I had to keep pushing them back as she emptied all the contents of her stomach onto the ground.
"Bella, is she okay?" Jasper asked.
I looked over my shoulder and saw Edward and Jasper standing behind me, watching Alice with matching looks of concern on their faces.
I nodded and let out a heavy breath as Alice coughed beside me. Having known her for so long—and having held her hair back on more than one occasion—I knew that was a sure sign that she was finished.
I rubbed her back gently. "Feel better?" I asked softly.
She nodded, still looking at the ground as she wiped her mouth with the back of her hand. She looked behind us to where Edward and Jasper were still standing, watching her every move, wanting to make sure she was okay.
"You guys, can you like, not be here?" she moaned.
"Alice, I want to make sure you're okay," Jasper reasoned.
She nodded. "I know, but I don't feel good. I can't have you guys watching me. It makes me feel…gross," she explained pleadingly.
Jasper exhaled a heavy breath, obviously battling with himself—one side not being able to turn away and the other wanting to do what made Alice happy. Finally, he nodded and he and Edward grudgingly turned around and walked back to the car.
I looked back at Alice. "You okay?" I asked her, offering a small smile.
She nodded and sighed, looking down at the ground. "I drank too much," she groaned.
"I know," I laughed quietly.
"I've just been so stressed with wedding stuff. It's my own fault," she said, shaking her head.
"How is it your fault?" I asked her, confused.
"Because, Bella, who gets married a month after getting engaged? People usually wait months, years even. And now I know why. It's taking so much out of both of us and it's because of me. Because I can't wait and just have to do everything right then and there. I'm just an impatient asshole," she mumbled.
"Alice, you are not an impatient asshole."
She looked up at me and sighed. "I just want to be happy. Like you and Edward. And I am right now, but I just…want to be married to Jasper so bad. I want to be with him forever," she said, her voice shaking.
I nodded and placed my hand on the side of her face, stroking it gently. "I know, and you will. You'll have everything. In less than one week, you will be Mrs. Mary Alice Whitlock," I smiled.
She let out another heavy breath and laughed quietly. "Mrs. Mary Alice Cullen Whitlock," she corrected.
"You're keeping your maiden name? I didn't keep mine," I frowned playfully, crossing my arms over my chest.
"Duh, Cullen is an awesome name. Who wouldn't want it?" she teased.
I laughed softly and helped her off the dirt ground. She was still a little wobbly on her feet so I helped keep her upright.
Jasper and Edward were waiting by the car and Jasper immediately came forward and helped Alice into the passenger seat of the car.
"Everything okay?" Edward whispered, placing his hands on either side of my face as Jasper walked around to the driver's side.
I nodded and smiled. "Yea," I replied. "Let's go home."
He smiled crookedly at me and I knew tonight we would have no interruptions.
Alice was completely passed out when we arrived at the lake house. Edward insisted on helping Jasper carry her upstairs, but Jasper thanked him and said he could handle it from there, so the four of us made our way inside and went our separate ways to our rooms.
"Well, tonight was interesting," Edward sighed, unbuttoning his shirt and kicking off his shoes as he sat on the edge of the bed.
"That it was," I agreed. "Definitely a story for our grandkids." I walked over to him and kneeled down in front of him, placing my hands on his knees before sliding them down his legs and pulling his socks gently of his feet.
"Grandkids, huh?"
I looked up at him and saw him smiling that beautiful crooked smile at me. I simply nodded, tossing his socks to the side and sliding my hands back up his legs to rest on his thighs.
"I assume that implies you want kids," he continued, still smiling at me.
"Was there ever any doubt?" I asked, smiling what I hoped was a seductive smile, as I continued unbuttoning his shirt for him since he had left the task undone.
"I don't know," he responded hesitantly. "Maybe things changed over the last three months."
My movements froze and I looked up him, my eyes widening as what he said registered. We had talked about having kids before, but did he mean that he had changed his mind about that during our separation? I mean, we had both changed since then—for the better, I thought—but could this possibly mean he no longer wanted to have a family?
He must have read my mind through the expression on my face because his own eyes widened and he grabbed my hands as they stayed still on the buttons of his shirt.
"Bella, I didn't mean it like that. I just wanted to make sure that you hadn't changed your mind about it," he explained. I stared at him stunned, feeling a great sense of relief wash over me. "You haven't changed your mind, have you?" he asked, not trying to mask the pain in his voice.
I shook my head and pulled my hands away from him, only to place them on either side of his face like he had done to me earlier. "No," I whispered. "I haven't changed my mind. I want that with you. I want everything with you," I stated with conviction.
He stared at me for a moment before capturing my lips in a passionate kiss. I finally managed to work my way back to the buttons of his shirt, and he helped me slide it off his shoulders. He moved back onto the bed and pulled me with him, his lips never breaking away from mine as I straddled his lap. I got a sudden sense of dejavu from the night of the engagement party as I stared down at him. Only this time, our passion wasn't fueled by too much alcohol and repressed emotions. Instead, it was fueled by our love for each other—the same love that had survived so much and became stronger than ever.
I placed my hand on the side of Edward's face and stoked his cheek with my thumb as he gazed up at me lovingly, his hands placed firmly on either side of my waist.
"What?" he asked softly when I continued to just stare at him.
I shook my head and smiled. "Nothing, I just like looking at you," I stated simply. I leaned down again and captured his lips with mine. He moaned into my mouth and lifted my dress up and over my head, leaving me in only my bra, panties, and heels.
I went to work unbuttoning his dress pants and he lifted off the bed to help me slide them down his body. I went to kick off my heels, but his hand stopped me.
"Leave them," he said huskily, kissing my neck and behind my ear.
"Mmm," I moaned as he continued placing kisses wherever he could reach. "When did you get so kinky?" I teased.
He laughed quietly and unfastened my bra, throwing it to the side before laying back and gazing up at me. His eyes roamed my body as I sat on top of him in nothing but my black lace underwear and stilettos.
"Now you're the one looking at me," I pointed out, smiling softly at him.
He nodded, still eyeing me unabashedly. "Yea, I am," he stated, placing his hand on the back of my neck and pulling me down to him, claiming my lips once more.
We both got rid of our remaining clothing and I positioned myself on top of him before taking him in fully. He gasped and fell back on the bed, obviously not expecting me to take him in one stroke.
I began moving on top of him at a steady pace as he grasped onto my hips—I knew without a doubt he would leave bruises, but I didn't care. The pain felt good mixed with the pleasure of having him inside me.
I sped up my movements and I could tell he was close when his jaw clenched and his eyes were shut tight. Within a matter of minutes, I felt him explode inside of me as I continued riding him. He let out a low moan and opened his eyes, watching my hips as they slowed their pace, but continued moving until he was spent.
He looked up at me, completely breathless, before sitting up and wrapping his arm around my waist, holding my body flush against his. I started moving again, slower this time…much slower.
He gently took my heels off of my feet, rubbing them gently as he threw the shoes to the floor. I moved my legs to wrap fully around his waist and he helped me move my body over his. Our mouths were mere centimeters apart, but they weren't touching. We were both breathing in and out deeply, shakily. Edward placed a soft kiss against my lips as we continued the erotically slow pace and I gasped slightly when I felt his thumb press to my clit and begin rubbing firm circles against it.
"Edward," I breathed against his mouth.
"Give me everything, Bella," he whispered, his finger increasing its ministrations slightly, but our hips continuing their torturously slow and steady pace.
My orgasm was building up slowly before it finally took over my entire body, warming me from the inside out. I pressed my lips against his to muffle the sounds of my moans slightly as I continued convulsing around him, and he continued moving me against him as I rode out the end of my climax.
I finally stopped and placed my hands on his as they were still wrapped around me. Our noses were barely touching, and our heavy, quivering breaths were the only thing that broke the silence in the room. I had yet to open my eyes as I stayed there with him inside me, still recovering from one of the most intimate sexual experiences we had ever shared. My breathing was almost embarrassingly loud and I was trembling, but Edward didn't seem to care as his arms remained wrapped around me.
I felt him place a soft kiss to my forehead and I finally opened my eyes to see him staring at me intently. I finally managed to get most of my breathing under control and I managed a lazy smile for him.
"You're my girl," he whispered, tucking a strand piece of hair behind my ear as he continuing gazing at me tenderly.
I nodded, tears welling up in my eyes at his affection. Nothing else was said as I finally lifted off of him and he pulled the covers back, both of us crawling into the bed, my back flush against his chest as he put his arm around my waist, holding me to him tightly. I placed my hand over his and moved it up to place it over my heart. He kissed my neck and whispered his love for me, for which I returned, and then sleep slowly overtook me as I lay there content in the arms of my love.
XxXxX
Rosalie and I were planning Alice's bachelorette party. There were still five days left until the wedding, but because Alice was so busy doing last minute wedding stuff—I agreed with what she had said the previous night; one month was just not enough time to plan a whole wedding—we had to make it a few days earlier than usual.
We were currently sitting around the kitchen table, going over all of our options and deciding to have it the next night. Jasper was having his bachelor party the next night, too, so we figured it would make sense to have them on the same day.
"Okay, so dancing, all day spa, karaoke, or a stripper's club," Rosalie said, reading off the list we had made that morning. "Take your pick."
"Is it bad that we waited so long to plan her bachelorette party?" I asked, still feeling guilty for having unintentionally neglected Alice for the last couple of weeks.
"No, I've been planning it for the last week and a half," Rosalie responded nonchalantly, still looking down at the list.
"What? Without me?" I demanded.
She looked up at me, stunned by my outburst. "Hello, you and Edward were the ones who totally ostracized Emmett and me," she defended.
"Ostracized?"
"…and so I didn't think you'd be too thrilled with spending time with me."
"Where did you learn that word?" I asked her, totally ignoring what she was saying.
"And her wedding is coming up, so someone had to plan it," she continued, obviously ignoring me as well.
"Did Jasper teach you?" I pondered curiously.
"But now we're both here, so let's get to it."
"I mean, did you even use it correctly?"
"Oh my God, Bella, shut up!" Rosalie snapped, throwing the notepad on the table and glaring at me.
I had the balls to crack a small smile. We both knew that after my first question, I was just trying to get a rise out of her and she was trying really hard to stay calm. I had missed this playfulness with Rosalie. Although, I wasn't sure how much of it could be considered playfulness since she was still staring at me murderously.
"Now, can we get back to it?" she said through gritted teach, picking up the notepad again and sighing loudly.
I laughed softly and she glared at me before I quickly composed my features and sat up a little straighter. "Okay, go," I told her.
She rolled her eyes and sighed again. "Alright, dancing?"
"Boring, we did that last night," I waved off.
She crossed it off the list. "Spa day?" she asked, looking up at me hopefully.
"That's a maybe. I mean, how long can we really spend getting massages and facials?"
She smirked. "Oh, you have no idea." She looked back at the list and said, "Stripper's club?"
"Ha-ha," I deadpanned. "No."
"Why not?" she demanded.
"Because, Rose, I don't want to go and see some dude's junk."
"It's not like they'll take their underwear off," she reasoned.
"Still, I just…I don't want to go," I stammered, blushing furiously and looking down.
"Is it because you don't want to be unfaithful to your precious Edward-kins?" she mocked.
I looked up at her and glared. "No," I gritted out. "I just don't want to."
"Because you know he and Emmett are taking Jasper to a stripper's club, right?"
My eyes widened slightly. "They are?"
She sighed and rolled her eyes. "Okay, well Emmett suggested the idea to Jasper and he was totally into it."
I raised my eyebrows. That did not sound like Jasper.
"Okay, fine, he mentioned it in passing," she huffed.
My eyebrows were raised higher.
"Alright! He said it to me like three months ago when he was waiting for Jasper to finally propose," she admitted. "Happy?"
"You're relentless," I said, shaking my head and laughing lightly. "Why do you want to go to a stripper club so bad anyway?"
She shrugged. "I don't know. It's dirty. I feel at home there."
We both burst out laughing at that. "Rosalie, you are one of a kind," I smiled.
"I know," she sighed, turning back to the list. "Alright, fine. Karaoke?" she suggested unenthusiastically.
"That could be fun," I nodded, even though the idea of going up on stage and singing in front of a crowd was not very appealing. "Put that as a maybe, too."
She nodded and marked the list appropriately before setting it on the table. We both sat in silence as we went over our options in our heads. There had to be something fun and unique for us to do. Something that we would all enjoy and something none of us had ever really done before.
"Oh!" I gasped, causing Rosalie to jump slightly as I got out of my chair and walked over to the counter, picking up the newspaper and bringing it back to show her. "I was reading this thing on these cruises earlier. It's like an all night event. You go on this little ship and it just sails along the shore for a few hours. There's dancing and music and…I heard it's really romantic," I finished quietly, smiling down at the picture, completely lost in thought.
"Cool, but seeing as I'm not interested in boning you or Alice, I don't think the romantic cruise idea will fly," she quipped.
I sighed and rolled my eyes. "Okay, well, how about this? We all have our separate day—the guys do what they want and the girls do what they want—and then we meet up later for this," I suggested. I could see Rosalie's eyes brighten a little at that so I continued while I had her hooked, "And we can even surprise Alice with it. Come on, she would be so happy if Jasper showed up unexpectedly and whisked her off her feet."
She looked at me for a moment longer before grabbing the newspaper from my hands and looking down at it intently. "It says seven to midnight. Dinner…candlelight…soft music," she read. "Aw, even a violinist," she beamed before looking up at me. "I think this is perfect, Bella."
"Yea?" I asked excitedly.
She nodded. "Yea."
The front door opened and Emmett's booming voice was suddenly heard from the foyer. "No way, man, Young Frankenstein may be a classic, but I've seen Gene Wilder in better," Emmett was rambling on as he and Edward walked into the kitchen.
"Back from your walk?" Rosalie asked as the two of them went to the fridge to get a water bottle.
"Yea, it's a nice day out. Did you guys figure out what you're doing for the bachelorette party?" Emmett replied, smirking devilishly.
"As a matter-of-fact, we did. And it's awesome," she sang smugly.
Edward took a drink from his water bottle and walked over to me, smiling slightly as he bent down and pressed a gentle kiss to my lips. "I missed you," he whispered. I smiled against his mouth and offered one more peck before wrapping my arms around his waist.
"Em, why can't you greet me like that?" Rosalie pouted, watching as Edward put his arm around my shoulder.
Emmett looked at the two of us and then back at Rosalie, a look of horror on his face. "I…I…um," he stuttered, causing Edward and I to laugh while Rosalie just glared at him. "I love you more than life," he finally offered. "I don't need to prove it every five minutes."
Rosalie looked at Edward and I and titled her head to the side, smirking as Emmett walked over and placed a kiss on the top of her head. "Come on, I need a shower," he said, winking at her.
"Gross, Em," I stated flatly.
"What, like you guys aren't doing it," he defended, taking Rose's hand and leading her to the stairs.
"Don't forget we have to make those calls tonight!" I called after Rosalie.
"Will do!" she threw over her shoulder as the two disappeared upstairs.
"What calls?" Edward asked me.
I turned back to him and smiled. "Rosalie and I are planning a romantic cruise for tomorrow night."
"A romantic cruise, huh?" he murmured, placing his arms around my waist and holding me close. "Will I be present for this…romantic cruise?"
I couldn't stop smiling as I gazed up at him. "It wouldn't be romantic unless you were there, now would it?"
"Hmm, I guess not."
I reached up on my toes and pressed a kiss to the corner of his mouth before pulling back to look at him. "We have to work out the details later. We wanna have separate things to do during the day and then at night we'll surprise Alice with you guys showing up. Do you think she'll like it?" I asked, wanting to get his opinion.
He nodded, smiling down at me lovingly. "She'll love it," he whispered, kissing my lips once more. "Oh, before I forget," he said, pulling back and walking to the fridge to put his half-drunken water bottle back. "Carlisle and Esme invited us to dinner tonight. They wanna spend some time with us."
My smile got even wider. "They do?"
He nodded. "Yea, six thirty. Don't be late," he teased.
I shook my head and laughed quietly, distracted with thoughts of how nice it was going to be to spend some much needed time with the two people who had been second parents to me my entire life.
Edward and I lounged around with Rosalie and Emmett for the rest of the day since they were off work and when Alice got back, I asked her if she would help me get ready for dinner. Her face brightened visibly, and for once I knew it wasn't just because I was actually going to her for fashion advice—it was because we hadn't spent a lot of time together lately. It was why I had asked her, really. I just wanted to have an excuse to hang out with my best friend and I knew asking her to help me get ready for tonight would be the perfect way.
I ended up wearing simple black skinny jeans with a purple, frilled top, and black heels. They weren't too high, for which I was thankful, and they completed the outfit. We were going to a nice restaurant, but Esme had told Edward that casual attire would be best.
After thanking Alice for her help with my hair, make-up, and clothing choice, I walked back to mine and Edward's room and saw that he was in the bathroom, buttoning up his dark gray dress shirt. I leaned against the doorframe to the bedroom and admired him in his black fitted slacks—they fit in all the right places.
"Like what you see?"
I looked up and saw that Edward was now facing me as he rolled his sleeves up to his elbows. He was smiling my favorite crooked smile, knowing exactly what that did to me.
"Mmm," I hummed, nodding as I continued to watch him. "I love what I see."
He chuckled and walked over to me, placing a kiss on the side of my face as he took my hand in his. Esme and Carlisle were already downstairs waiting for us and after talking for a little while with everyone else, the four of us went on our way.
Carlisle drove his car and Esme sat in the back with me while Edward sat in the passenger seat with Carlisle. They were talking about a new hospital branch in the area when Esme turned to me and took my hand in hers.
"I feel like I've barely had two seconds with you since you and Edward have come to visit," she said, smiling softly.
I nodded sadly. "I know, Esme, I'm sorry we haven't made more of an effort. I guess there was just so much going on. What, with Alice's wedding and just being back with everyone after so long…" I explained.
"I understand. It can all be a little overwhelming," she agreed.
"But, it doesn't excuse anything. And I hope we can make it up to you guys for the rest of our time here," I said hopefully.
Esme was always a mother to me since Renee lived so far away and traveled with Phil since he was a minor league baseball player. I rarely ever saw her. But Esme was always there while I was growing up and I could trust her with my whole life.
That thought caused a sudden pang in my chest and my hand immediately went to my heart, clutching it as I looked down. I had always trusted Esme with everything, but for the last three months, I had kept the biggest secret of all from her.
"What is it sweetheart?" she asked worriedly, placing her hand on the side of my face.
I looked up into her warm green eyes—they were just like Edward's and made me feel at home instantly. I felt even more ashamed for lying to her.
"Esme, I—"
"We're here," Carlisle announced from the driver's seat.
I looked up and sure enough we were in front of the restaurant. I sighed and looked back at Esme, who was still watching me with a look of worry on her face.
"I've just missed you is all," I decided to say.
She just continued staring at me, confused, as I opened my door and walked out. I held it open for her as she slid out as well and Carlisle gave the valet his keys.
"Shall we?" Carlisle smiled, walking back over to us and placing his arm around Esme's shoulders.
Esme, however, was still gazing at me worriedly. Carlisle looked between the two of us, concerned, before asking, "Is everything alright?"
I nodded. "Yea, everything's fine," I said, managing a small smile for him. I looked up at Edward and saw that he was watching me intently as well. I tried giving him a reassuring smile, but his eyebrows remained furrowed as he stared at me.
"Let's head inside then," Carlisle finally said, leading Esme toward the entrance.
I started to follow them, but Edward grabbed my hand and stopped me. When I turned around and looked at him, his eyes were full of worry.
"Bella, what's wrong?"
I shook my head. "Nothing," I lied. I knew he would see right through it.
He sighed and seemed a little annoyed. "Are we really back to that?"
"To what?" I asked, my voice small.
"Bella, I know you aren't being honest with me. If you don't want to tell me, then fine. But don't lie to me."
I looked down and tried to collect my thoughts, but after a few seconds, Edward walked past me and toward the restaurant. I was going to say something, tell him what was bothering me, but I couldn't find my voice quick enough.
I finally walked to the front entrance and went inside to where Edward, Carlisle, and Esme were waiting by the hostess stand. Once I joined them, the hostess took us to our tables and gave us our menus before taking our drink orders. It was relatively silent while we all read over the menu and each passing minute felt like a century. I couldn't stand having Edward next to me, knowing he was upset. And I couldn't stand having Esme sitting there, worried about me when I didn't deserve it.
Once we placed our orders and the waiter left, Carlisle turned to us, smiling. He was oblivious to any tension at the table and I hoped to keep it that way.
"So, how have things been in New York?" he asked enthusiastically. "Are you still writing, Bella?"
I smiled at him and nodded. "Yea, I'm really enjoying working for the magazine," I offered.
"Have you guys bought a house yet?" he asked.
Edward and I exchanged a quick glance. "Uh, no, not yet," Edward replied. "We're working on it." He smiled at me and I could tell it was forced. I couldn't take this anymore. I had to tell him what was wrong. He would know what to do.
"You better," Esme chimed in. I was relieved to see that her old self was back again. "You're going to need room for all those kids running around."
"I can't stop thinking about when you two were kids yourselves," Carlisle mused, gazing at us with a small smile on his face. "Who would have thought you'd grow up, fall in love, and get married?"
Edward and I both laughed quietly and I blushed slightly.
"I did," Esme claimed, a private smile on her face as she looked at me. "I could tell by the way Edward always looked at her."
I looked down and smiled, a little embarrassed from the attention I was receiving. But then I felt Edward's warm hand on my thigh and everything was okay again. I looked up at him and he smiled down at me warmly, giving me a gentle squeeze before releasing me.
Dinner went by smoothly as the four of us laughed and reminisced on old times. It was the most light-hearted I had felt in such a long time and I realized how much I had truly missed Carlisle and Esme.
Carlisle picked up the check, against mine and Edward's protests, and the four of us decided to take a walk in the park across the street and get some ice cream for dessert.
After we purchased our ice cream from the cute little cart in the park, we began a nice stroll along the pathway. It wasn't the same park that Edward and I had come to before, but it was equally as beautiful. All of the trees had twinkling lights on them and there was even a string quartet playing as we walked by. I had just finished my ice cream when Edward placed his arm around my waist and pulled me tighter against his side.
"I'm sorry about earlier," he said quietly. "I shouldn't have reacted like that."
I looked up at him and nodded. "Yes, you should have. I should have told you what was bothering me." He continued to gaze down at me, waiting for me to elaborate. I glanced ahead of us where Esme and Carlisle were walking, completely wrapped up in eachother, and it brought a smile to my face. "I almost told Esme," I admitted softly.
"You…what…?" he trailed off.
I looked up at him and bit my lip, nodding. "I can't…I can't keep this from her, Edward. I can't."
"But you're the one who said you didn't want to tell the family," he pointed out, confused.
"I know…God, I know," I sighed, rubbing a hand over my face. "But this is Esme and Carlisle. They're my mom and dad just as much as they are yours, and…I don't know. The way Esme looked at me in the car…I just…I couldn't bear to keep something like this from her. I thought I could, but I can't." My voice shook slightly, tears threatening to escape.
"Bella," he whispered. "Now? It's…it's not the time."
I nodded, swallowing hard and trying to keep the tears at bay. "I know. I know it's not."
Carlisle and Esme suddenly stopped walking and Edward and I quickly composed ourselves as they turned around to face us.
"Look," Esme pointed. I followed her line of sight to where a bride stood with her groom and the rest of their wedding party, posing for pictures near some of the more abundant twinkling lights. "Isn't that beautiful?" she murmured.
I watched as the couple posed with their maids of honor and groomsmen and I smiled widely. "It is," I agreed.
"God, do you remember our wedding?" Esme asked, turning to look up at Carlisle.
"God, over thirty years ago," Carlisle stated in awe, shaking his head.
Esme nodded and smiled, her eyes glistening with unshed tears as she gazed lovingly at her husband. "We've come a long way," she said.
"We certainly have."
I couldn't help the tears that fell down my cheeks as I watched the two of them, so in love and so right for each other. I was so happy I had Edward—someone I would be spending the rest of my life with. Losing him was just not an option anymore.
Esme turned her warm gaze to Edward and I, and she frowned when she saw that I was crying. "What is it, Bella?" she asked, her worry from earlier returning.
I shook my head and smiled, wiping my tears away. "Nothing, you guys just love each other so much," I explained, my voice shaking embarrassingly. "I'm just so happy for you. And…I'm happy that I have someone to make me happy, too." I gazed up at Edward and saw that he was smiling down at me. He lifted his hand and brushed my tears away with his thumb.
"You do, Bella," Esme murmured. "And you always will because you and Edward love each other and nothing will ever separate you. You're both so lucky to have each other. And I know you know that."
I nodded, looking down as the guilt rose to the surface once again. When Esme looked at me with her vibrant green eyes…it was hard to tell myself that it was better to keep what had happened between Edward and I a secret. Even though the saying was true—what they didn't know wouldn't hurt them—it killed me not being able to tell them.
It had been so easy to suggest to Edward that we keep what had happened a secret, but looking into Esme's eyes, it made it hard to keep something of this magnitude from her. When I glanced up at Edward, he was already looking down at me. And I knew it that moment we were both thinking the same thing.
They deserved to know.
There would be no easy way to tell them, but I knew now that we couldn't keep this a secret forever. I had been foolish to think that we could.
"Shall we head home?" Carlisle suggested when a cold breeze swept by.
"Oh," I gasped, wrapping my arms around myself when the chilly night air hit me.
"Let's hurry to the car," Esme said, shaking slightly as Carlisle wrapped his arm around her shoulders. "Keep your girl warm, Edward," Esme warned playfully as Edward and I trailed behind her and Carlisle.
Edward, who had his arm wrapped tightly around my waist, chuckled softly. "Always," he murmured, kissing the top of my head.
I wrapped my arms tightly around Edward's waist as we rushed back to the restaurant to get the car.
"You know what will happen if we tell them, right?" Edward suddenly said, his voice low and soft.
I smiled ruefully, a bit relieved that we had both been indeed entertaining the idea. "Yea," I nodded. "I know."
"What made you change your mind?" he asked curiously.
I sighed just as Esme looked over her shoulder at us and smiled. We smiled in return and she winked before turning back around and cuddling closer to Carlisle as we walked.
"I think it was…her eyes," I replied softly. I glanced up at Edward again and saw him watching me with an intense expression. "What?" I asked nervously.
"Nothing," he said, shaking his head. "It's just that…I changed my mind about telling them for that same reason. I can't look my mother in the eye for the rest of my life if I know that we're keeping something like this from all of them."
I nodded. "They'll hate us," I whispered, already having second doubts.
"True," Edward affirmed. "But I think we would hate ourselves even more if we never told them."
I sighed again, knowing he was right. "I was stupid for even suggesting we keep everything a secret," I groaned quietly.
"No, you weren't."
"Yes, I was. Don't ever listen to anything I say again. You should have talked me out of it," I insisted.
He shook his head. "Hey, no, you do not take the blame for this. I was fully on board for keeping it a secret. To be honest…I'm still teetering between keeping it from them or being honest," he admitted softly.
"Which are you leaning towards?" I asked curiously.
"I think I'm leaning towards what we both know they deserve."
I nodded, knowing what that meant.
They deserved the truth…and it was going to be a hell of a hard thing to give them. But then Edward said these two simple words in my ear and I felt that twinge of hope that everything would be okay again.
"I'm here," he whispered.
Author's Note: So what do you think about Edward and Bella's change of heart? Would it have been better to keep it a secret or are they right in wanting to admit the truth? The next chapter will most likely be up a week from now if not sooner. I'll try getting it out as soon as possible. Thanks so much for reading and being patient with me. Your support means the world to me, always.