Foreword:
Kanan means everything to Hera. Nothing feels right when they are apart. S2 E19 Mystery of Chopper Base
"You lose, you die," Kanan said.
"Yeah, and you win by killing an Inquisitor," Ezra snapped back.
"No, you win by surviving," Kanan shot back.
Hera watched as her Jedi sparred. Kanan's words echoed in her head. You lose, you die.
"You two are getting pretty good!" Sabine chimed in.
"Getting? Are you saying we weren't good before?" Ezra snarled.
"I think she just meant you're even better now," Hera replied.
She put on an encouraging smile even as internally her heart was doing somersaults.
"I'll take it," Ezra answered.
"Hey!" he yelled as Kanan attacked him from behind.
"You never turn your back on an enemy," Kanan said.
"Okay… but since when are you my enemy?" Ezra said with a wave of his hand.
"Let's go again," Kanan said.
Hera leaned out over the railing. Her eyes traveled beyond the whirling blue blades until they were just a blur. As she stared, Kanan and Ezra faded and she was staring at an empty cargo hold.
Empty. Hera took a breath but could not keep the sadness from taking over. It would not be long now until they were gone.
Hera felt her throat constrict at the thought that this Jedi she so dearly loved might not return. Kanan meant everything to her and in that moment she doubted whether she had the strength to carry on without him.
"I can't believe it's all finally coming together: ships, pilots, a base," Hera began.
She didn't know what to say. Anything. Something to bring him back to her.
"Everything you need," Kanan replied distantly.
Hera exhaled, those familiar butterflies dancing about.
You, he said.
Hera rarely fixated on inconsequential details but she couldn't help herself now with Kanan. Why did he say you? They had found this base together. They had worked together to make this happen.
It was like he didn't consider himself a part of it anymore.
"Except you and Ezra," Hera said tentatively.
Kanan turned to face Hera, concern etched on his face.
"So, when do you leave?" she continued.
"As soon as Ahsoka gets back," Kanan said. "We can't run from the Inquisitors forever."
"I figured it was something like that," Hera said. "With all that training."
She turned and walked hurriedly away. No good would come from talking about their inevitable departure. It was already painful enough without him lying to her more.
"Hera, what you've accomplished here is important," Kanan said trailing after her. "I understand that now, the need for us to be part of a larger rebellion."
There it was again. You. Hera should've been happy that Kanan was giving her credit for finding the base, but the truth was, she couldn't have done it without him. She needed him, but as she walked she realized the same might not be true of him anymore.
"I'm behind you, but none of that will matter if we don't do what we need to do."
They were always the 'we'. Hera gulped as she realized that the 'we' he spoke of did not include her. She placed her hand on her hip as Kanan put a hand on her shoulder.
She felt his touch, but it wasn't the same. He wasn't doing it to support her, it was to appease her.
"Lieutenant Dicer hasn't come back yet."
Hera whipped around. Bad news. She instinctively glanced up at Kanan.
There. She saw it for a second. He wasn't totally gone yet. There may still be a together for the two of them.
Perhaps one last time before he was gone. Hera shut her eyes before she could imagine worse.
The sun was setting. Hera sighed as she walked off to find a quiet spot to rest. The day had gone well, too well. The markers were holding back the spiders as planned.
Ahsoka was due back at the end of the day. And tomorrow… Tomorrow they would leave.
"Hera," Kanan said.
Hera exhaled. She blinked rapidly and forced herself to smile. Kanan had too much to worry about with this mission. He didn't need her fear on top of it.
"I told the Commander the site was secure, and operations can resume," she said brightly.
Kanan was not here to talk about the base. His hands were fidgeting nervously – a giveaway that he wasn't being totally honest.
"You know we're going to be okay, right?" he said. His feigned confidence couldn't fool Hera.
"You realize I know when you're lying, right?" Hera replied.
She crossed her arms. Kanan was sweet for trying to hide the truth from her, but Hera knew this mission wasn't like the others.
Kanan stopped. His face said it all. Hera's heart fluttered. It was bad. He put on a strong face but Hera couldn't take this anymore.
"Whatever you're facing, I wanted us to face it together," she said.
Together. It was all that Hera really wanted. Her life was given over to the rebellion but her heart wanted more. She wanted freedom from the Empire but she always imagined it'd be with Kanan by her side. This wasn't how it was supposed to go. What would victory mean without him?
Kanan smiled. The last of Hera's strength melted away. This could be the last time they would be together.
He put two hands on Hera's shoulders.
"We'll see each other again, I promise," he said.
Kanan drew Hera towards him and she shut her eyes. She leaned against him, feeling the warmth of his body, the light in his touch. If this was to be the last time, she wanted to remember it forever.
Kanan lowered his head to rest on hers, holding her in his arms.
"I've got you," Kanan whispered.
Hera felt a small tear trickle down her cheek.
"Be safe," she muttered faintly.
Another tear fell as she clung to Kanan tightly.
"I love you," he said softly.
Hera shook in his arms and leaned closer.
"I love you too."
Kanan wrapped both arms around Hera and she immersed herself in his embrace. The warmth of the sun shone on them.
Together, this was how it was meant to be.