Ba'el

By: Ginomo

Based on the TNG episode, "Birthright Part II." While aboard the Enterprise, Worf traveled to a Romulan prison camp and fell for Ba'el, the daughter of the Romulan commander and one of the Klingon prisoners. Years later, the Dominion War brings Ba'el to Deep Space Nine and back into Worf's life.

Chapter 5

"Vic told me yesterday that they've been to his club three times."

"Worf at Vic's? Three times? No way."

Dr. Bashir nodded, "That's what he said. And get this, they even dance."

Everyone at the table let out an audible gasp, "No way!" Miles exclaimed.

"That's what he said."

Ezri, Julian and Miles were gathered at Quark's discussing what had become the hottest topic on the station these days- Worf's love life. "So have you met her?" Chief O'Brien asked.

"I've spoken to her a few times. She's really very nice," Ezri said.

"Nice?" Julian asked.

"Not all Klingons are blood thirsty warriors," Ezri shrugged, "Some are nice."

"Isn't there a war out there that needs winning? Or is gossiping about Commander Worf part of the strategy?" Odo approached the group; his trademark gruff voice was accompanied by a disapproving scowl.

"We aren't gossiping," Miles replied, "We're just... discussing."

Odo folded his arms, "The only person on this station that values his privacy more than me is Commander Worf."

"Well, that's what makes it so good. Take Julian here, he never shuts up about his love life, or lack thereof. So talking about him is pointless."

"Gee, thanks Miles."

"But Worf on the other hand, he never tells anyone anything so that leaved us to fill in the blanks, and well, you should hear some of the stories floating around."

Odo grunted, "This makes wonder what things you all say about Kira and I."

Ezri smirked, "Oh, you don't want to know."

Over the next few weeks, life settled into an unlikely rhythm for Worf and Ba'el. She was there whenever his duty shift was over with his dinner ready and waiting. They spent their evenings together, either at home or out and about on the station. Sometimes it was trips to the holosuite, visits to the restaurants along the promenade, and even Quark's on occasion. This was everything she'd dreamed of for so many years. She was with Worf just as she'd always wanted. And yet...

Ba'el couldn't quite place it but it felt oddly empty. That last night they'd spent together on Carraya IV six years ago, she and Worf were like one flesh. He spoke gently, looked deeply into her eyes, and connected with her so powerfully that it brought her to tears. She'd replayed it over and over again in her mind and hadn't forgotten a single detail. Yet now, when they were together, Worf seemed far away. He was there, moving his body in all the same ways but it was as if she couldn't feel him. It didn't make any sense.

There were times that Ba'el wanted to talk to him about his wife, but Worf would not. He told her he had moved past it, that Jadzia had died, he sent her to Sto'Vo'Kor and that was the end. Worf told Ba'el that Klingons did not dwell on the dead, that to do so bound them to this world and dishonored their memory. Ba'el took him at his word- if Worf said Klingons didn't do it then who was she to argue? So she threw herself into being everything he could ever want or need with the hope that with time, he would tell her he loved her the way he had so long ago.

Ba'el waited anxiously at the airlock. The Klingon ship Gorkon was docking and on board was an old friend that Ba'el couldn't wait to see. When the gear finally rolled away, rowdy Klingon soldiers began spilling out into the corridor. She stood up on her toes trying to search for him in the crowd.

"Ba'el!"

"Toq!"

The pair ran to one another and hugged tightly, "I cannot tell you what a joy it is to see you right now. When I got your subspace transmission, I convinced our captain to dock here at Deep Space Nine for our routine refitting so that we could meet."

Ba'el took in the sight of her best friend, whom she hadn't seen since he left Carraya with Worf six years ago, "Toq, I can't believe it's you. You look so different!"

"The life of a soldier has matured me. I see you are just as beautiful as ever."

"Tell me everything," she said, "I want to hear about everything that's happened to you and the others since you left."

The two walked through the habitat ring together, "First, you must tell me about our parents. I read your letter, but I want to hear it from you."

Once again, Ba'el recounted that last day on Carraya IV. Toq listened intently. Just as she was finishing the story, they arrived at Worf's quarters. Ba'el entered the security code and they entered the room.

"Kahless was on their side. He blessed them with the deaths that they deserved. I wish I could have seen it," Toq had the same wistful look in his eyes that Worf did when she told the tale to him. Ba'el may have understood that was the Klingon way, but she did not share the sentiment they did. In her heart the only thing she wanted was for her mother to have lived.

"Yes, I suppose he was."

"So this is Worf's home?" Toq said as she looked around the quarters.

"Yes."

"And you live here with him?"

She nodded, "Yes."

"Is he here now?"

"No, Worf is commanding the Defiant on a scouting mission for the next few days. He goes on these periodically. Please, have a seat. Can I get you something?"

"No, just come sit with me. It's like I'm seeing my sister again after all these years."

"Okay, now you have to tell me what you have been doing. How did you end up on a Klingon ship?"

"Not long after moving to Pheben III, I decided to join the Klingon Defense Force. It was definitely a crash course in the ways of our people but I have loved it. The war has gone well for me, and through some strategic moves on my part I made the rank of 3rd officer on the Gorkon."

Ba'el could see how proud Toq was of his accomplishments. She was smiling from ear to ear along with him, "That is wonderful. I bet you've been all over the galaxy."

"I have seen and learned so much, and even then it's only a fraction of what's out there."

"I would love to be able to do that. Have you been to the Klingon Homeworld?"

Toq's eyes lit up, "I have. In fact, it is where my home is. My wife and children are there right now. It is an amazing place. I can't wait to take you there Ba'el."

Ba'el reached out and took his hand in hers, "What about the others? Did they all leave as well?"

"No, most stayed on Pheben. And I am sure they'd love to see you. The little ones have grown so much."

She hadn't realized how much she missed all of them. These were her playmates as a child and her companions growing up on Carraya, "Life was terribly lonely for me after you left. I missed you all so very much."

"You should have come with us. I never understood why you didn't."

Ba'el lowered her eyes and shook her head "I knew then there was no place for me out there. There still isn't, but this time I didn't have a choice, I had to leave Carraya. I'm safe here on DS9 with Worf."

"Safe? Safe from what?"

"From anyone finding out about me."

"So you've created another prison here for yourself in Worf's quarters? Carefully hiding away so that no one knows the truth?"

"I am not hiding," she whispered, not really convincing Toq or herself.

"And so what if they do find out?"

"People won't accept me if they knew."

"Accept yourself. That is all that matters."

Ba'el looked into Toq's eyes, "I am not as strong as you."

Toq gripped her shoulders, "You can be, Ba'el. You can be," he paused for a moment, "Come with me, and meet some of my crewmates."

"Oh no," she exclaimed, "A ship full of Klingons? I couldn't."

"Why not? You are Klingon. Has Worf not introduced you to others?"

She shook her head, "We keep to ourselves, mostly, Worf is very private. Besides, there are not that many Klingons on the station anyway."

Toq frowned, "That does not sound like to Worf I remember from Carraya."

"This is a very different place," Ba'el replied wistfully, agreeing with him.

"It sounds like he's hiding you away."

"Not at all!" Ba'el exclaimed, "He's been through a lot and he needs me here with him."

"Well he is not here right now," Toq took her hand, "Come on, let's get you out of this room."

The corridors of the IKS Gorkon were dimly let by a red glow and were several degrees warmer than the space station. Klingon officers passed by and offered respectful greetings as if Ba'el were no different from them. She walked as closely to Toq as she could, which made him laugh.

"It's okay, Ba'el. We're almost to the mess hall."

The entered the room, it was tight and stuffy and filled with people, "Do all these people serve on this ship?" she asked quietly.

"Most. Some are stationed on DS9 and are awaiting re-assignment. Whenever a Klingon vessel docks, you can be sure the mess hall is the place to be. Here, let's get you a cup."

Toq dipped a cup into a barrel and handed it to Ba'el. She took a sip- it burned going down and immediately her head felt light, "Is this Blood Wine?"

"You have never tasted it?"

"No. Worf offered it to me once, but I didn't take any."

"Well, you're with me now."

Toq found a place for them at the table and began introducing her to his friends. Apparently, she was the sister that had never left home that he'd told them all about. They all welcomed her voraciously, and began recanting the tales of the battles they'd fought alongside her brother; the glorious victories and the agonizing defeats. It reminded her of the way Worf kept them mesmerized on Carraya with his stories about the Klingon Empire. She remembered gazing up at him as he spoke, his animated face lit only by the fire pit. He didn't tell stories like that anymore.

It didn't take long for Ba'el to settle right in. She even knew the words to a few of the songs and joined in when the singing began. Seeing Toq so happy made her happy. That, plus the free flowing blood wine. This felt good. Even though she didn't know these people an hour ago, she felt like she belonged. She even had her first taste of gagh, and surprised herself by going back for seconds.

At the end of the night, Toq walked her back to the quarters she shared with Worf on the Cardassian space station.

"Thank you for that, Toq. I mean it."

He smiled brightly, "You are going to have one hell of a headache tomorrow."

Ba'el touched her forehead ridges, "I think it's starting already."

Toq took her hand in his, "I do not know what will become of you and Worf. I hope it works out the way you want it to. But if you ever need it, my home is open to you."

"Toq, I couldn't impose on your family like that."

"You are my family! My wife would be happy to have you there, and you could live among our people on the Klingon Homeworld. You could start a life of your own."

Ba'el reached out and hugged him, "Thank you. For everything."

The Defiant pulled into its mooring at DS9 with the familiar rumble that Worf had come to love. He knew this ship better than anyone. He could tell when the smallest thing was out of alignment and the crew knew that even though he wasn't the captain, when he was commanding, he demanded excellence.

Worf normally loved being on the Defiant. Even when he was upset about something, feeling the vibration of the deck plates put him at ease. For three years he'd also had the privilege of sitting being Lieutenant Commander Jadzia Dax. Worf commanded while she piloted. But now that seat had been filled by someone else. Today he couldn't stand to look at the back of Lieutenant DeSilva's head another minute. Today, Worf resented the fact that it wasn't her.

He left DeSilva to finish the docking sequence and collect the department reports, which surprised everyone since he was usually the last one off the ship. Today Worf just needed to get away from everyone. The problem was, there was no place to go.

When Worf got back to his quarters, Ba'el was there. He mumbled a barely audible greeting as he entered.

"These are amazing," Ba'el said, "On Carraya, I was only allowed to read Romulan history and literature. You have quite the collection of Klingon classics, I can't get enough of them."

Ba'el was sitting on the couch in their quarters reading. Absorbing as much information about everything she could had become her newest past time, and right now there were books spread all over the table. Worf's eyes darted to the bookshelves on the wall, Jadzia's bookshelves. They were empty.

Worf went to the table and began putting them all back, "You must be careful with these. They are very old, irreplaceable. And she likes them in a specific order," Worf was clearly annoyed as he carefully rearranged the books.

Ba'el caught the "she" reference. These must have belonged to Jadzia, "I have been careful with them."

"Just do not touch them," he snapped.

Ba'el figured Worf was probably just worn out from the mission. Once he finished with the books he disappeared into the bedroom wordlessly. Worf plopped down on the bed and stared up at the ceiling, silently hoping Ba'el wouldn't come in to talk to him. He really wished she would go away right now. He didn't want her there; he didn't want anyone but Jadzia.

He turned his head to the side. Jadzia wasn't there.

"Ba'el!"

Ba'el heard Worf call her name and he sounded upset- very upset. Quickly, she stood and went to him, "Yes?"

Ba'el was startled by what she saw. The room was a mess; Worf was clearly searching frantically for something. The expression on his face was nothing Ba'el had ever seen. He was angry- very angry. His fists were clenched and his breathing was rapid.

"Where is it!?"

"Where is what?" she asked, her voice wavering.

"The picture. It was right here," Worf pointed to the bedside table, "And now I cannot find it."

Ba'el felt her stomach turn flips. She wanted to lie and say that she didn't know but Worf would figure it out and be even angrier, "I, I put it away."

"You did what?" Worf's voice was quieter now, eerily quiet.

"I'm sorry, I," she took a breath, "I put it on the shelf in the closet."

Worf disappeared into the closet and after rummaging around he emerged holding his wedding photo- he and Jadzia, dressed in red and embracing one another. Worf held the picture in his hands like it was the most precious thing he'd ever touched, "You had no right to touch this!" he snapped at her again, his voice dripping with contempt.

Ba'el wanted to say a dozen different things, but couldn't will her mouth to form the words. She wanted to know why, after almost a month, Worf decided to go looking for that picture. She wanted to know why she was expected to make love to him with his dead wife looking on. She wanted to know if she would ever be to him what Jadzia had been. But none of that came. Instead, without a word, Ba'el turned and left their- no, his quarters. She walked as fast as she could as far as she could before the tears took over. They came on like a wave, her eyes filled to the point that she couldn't see anymore. Ba'el slumped against a wall and let the tears come.

Ezri Dax could hear what sounded like soft, faint crying in the distance. She turned a corner and sure enough, sitting against the wall in a lonely corridor of the habitat ring was a woman with her head on her knees and her impossibly long hair cascading over her legs. She knew right away who it was.

"Ba'el?"

The young woman looked up at Ezri, eyes red and bloodshot. Ezri got a quick glimpse of her ears and could swear they were… Vulcan? Ba'el quickly wiped her face and pushed her hair back over them before she could get a better look.

"Ezri, I can't believe you're seeing me like this."

Ezri kneeled down next to her, "What's wrong? Is there anything I can do?"

"No, I just," she sighed, "I don't even know what I'm doing here."

"It's Worf, isn't it?" Ezri asked, though she already knew the answer. Any woman who let herself fall for Worf was bound to end up in tears at one point or another.

"I can't figure him out. I thought things were going well and then today, he came home in a rage. In hindsight, I did something that I probably shouldn't have but he makes it so hard to know what he wants. He closes himself off in ways that he didn't when we first met years ago. Now there is this part of him that I just can't reach. I want to help him but he won't let me in."

Ezri drew in a breath. She knew this was wrong, continuing to speak to Ezri about her relationship with Worf without revealing who she really was, but she couldn't help herself, "You love him, don't you?" she asked, a part of her hoping the answer would be no.

"I do. I always have."

"I know it's hard, but you have to stand your ground with Worf. Be honest and up front. When he's doing something you don't like, call him on it. He might not like it, but he will respect you for it. Worf doesn't want anyone to know it, but he's very intense and he feels things very deeply. But his bark is far worse than his bite."

Ba'el didn't quite understand that last expression, but she got the general idea, "I think I need to figure out what it is that I want for myself first," she replied.

Ezri smiled, "That's a good place to start."

Ba'el stood, straightened her dress and smiled, "Thank you."

Ezri stood with her, "Anytime."

Ezri watched Ba'el walk away and before she knew it, she was the one with tears in her eyes.

When Ba'el finally returned, Worf was seated at the table, staring into a glass of blood wine. She entered silently, her head held high and proud just the way her mother would after she and Tokath fought about something. She was going to stand her ground, just like Ezri told her.

Worf looked up at her, the expression on his face was drastically different than it had been when Ba'el left, "I am sorry," he said quietly.

She didn't respond.

"I…" Worf began. He was barely able to speak but he knew he owed Ba'el an explanation. "Today is her birthday."

Worf couldn't say her name, but he didn't need to. The pain in his face, in his voice, was heartbreaking. His shoulders slumped, and had it been any other man he would have been in tears. Ba'el could feel the sorrow emanating from him as if it were her own.

"Oh, Worf, I had no idea. It's okay, really, I understa-"

"No," he interrupted her, "It is not okay. I behaved dishonorably. I let my emotions take over and you did not deserve that."

Ba'el wanted to go to him, but she could feel a wall between them. Instead she cautiously took a seat on the edge of the couch, "Perhaps you should speak to someone," maybe Ezri could help him the way she helped her?

"No, no, I will be fine. I just need to get through today. Tomorrow I am leaving with Martok on the Rotarran."

"You're leaving again? But you just got back!"

"This is my duty, Ba'el, and there is a war going on. I am the General's federation liaison and I haven't gone on a mission with him in some time."

"How long?" she asked.

"I do not know, a week perhaps."

They were quiet, neither knowing exactly what to say to the other right now. Worf finished what was in his cup and stood, "I am going back to the Defiant. I need to go over the mission intelligence before I leave with Martok tomorrow. I will probably not be back tonight."

She nodded, "Okay."

Worf headed toward the door but stopped before walking through it. He looked back at Ba'el and their eyes met for a moment, once again neither knew what to say to the other. Without a word, Worf stepped through the door and left.