Okay, so somehow this story has reached over 100 favourites and reviews and over 300 followers. I am so overwhelmed by this response as this is the first time I've written a fic and I'm more than aware my writing is clumsy in places. So thank you all so much and I'm so happy you are enjoying this! x
"Snow." Regina greeted her in a professional manner, almost like she had turned up for an arranged business meeting instead of breaking down her front door and obtrusively barging into her bedroom. The brunette was surprisingly calm and collected considering she was fully naked in bed covered only with a thin sheet, with sex mussed hair and an Emma shaped lump hiding futilely under the covers beside her.
"As you can see, I have company." She continued, hiding her mirth as the pregnant woman spluttered and gawped at Regina, eyes boggling out of her head.
"Is that... Emma?" Snow's horrified expression intensified at the sight of blonde curls peeking out from under the covers.
"Nope. It's Archie, he's shy and would rather you not see him. So if you could just..."
Regina was interrupted in the telling of her fabricated tale by the dramatic sound of Snow's gasp as she picked up Emma's discarded dress from the floor.
"This... This is Emma's!" The pixie-haired woman shrieked, eyes popping and jaw dropping at the sight of Emma's black panties laying abandoned on the floor underneath where the dress had been obscuring it from sight.
"Oh did Archie not tell you he's a cross dresser?" Regina asked the question dryly, merely toying with the hysterical woman at this point.
"Emma! Come out!" The pregnant woman's demand was screeched in a banshee-like manner.
Regina stared blankly at the reddening face of the brunette for a few moments. She tried desperately to control herself and exude an air of cold indifference to the situation but eventually she gave in and spluttered with laughter at the absurdity of the whole situation, especially the moronic look gracing Snow's face.
Emma peeped out from the covers, hearing the beautiful sound of Regina's laughter and knowing the game was up. She waved at her mother sheepishly, pulling the sheet tightly around her naked body.
"Hey mom. Sorry, I didn't realise you were here. I was looking in the bed for my sock..." Her ridiculous lie only caused the brunette beside her to throw her head back and laugh harder until Emma nudged her bare stomach sharply with her bony elbow.
"How's the pregnancy going Snow?" Regina questioned casually, watching in amusement as the pregnant woman clutched the doorframe for support: knowing Emma was in that bed was one thing, but seeing her there, wild haired and naked beside her enemy was unbearable. "I hope you're keeping that blood pressure nice and low." The brunette's eyes shone devilishly as she goaded the woman, smirking in satisfaction as Snow's hands instinctively moved to her stomach.
"What... What are you doing in here Emma?" The brunette's voice was strained as she ignored Regina completely and tried to remain calm for the sake of the baby.
"Oh I was so hoping you'd ask that." Regina's voice was gleeful as the smirk that had formed on her face only widened with glee. "See, last night I fucked your daughter senseless."
Snow's gasp of shock and horror echoed around the room and the woman nearly tumbled to the ground. Emma's eyes turned into round saucers of shock and she almost squirmed at the brunette's words. Goddamn why is it so sexy when she swears?
"Regina!" Emma hissed out the name as soon as she came to her senses and glared furiously at the woman who had cracked up laughing again. Somewhat tempted to join in, the blonde quickly averted her gaze back to her mother.
"Mom I told you Regina and I are dating. What the hell are you doing here? You can't just break into someone's house!" The blonde's eyes narrowed in anger at the pregnant woman who had regained her balance and was now scowling with fury.
"Emma you are making a mistake. Come home with me."
"No mom, I'm not. And even if this was a mistake, it's my life and my mistake to make. I'm 29 years old for fucks sake."
"Language." Regina chastised, unperturbed by her own hypocrisy as she conjured a nail file and began filing her already immaculate nails as if it was the most normal thing possible to be doing in her current situation.
"Emma I know you think I'm interfering and obviously I wouldn't butt into your love life ordinarily. But I've known this woman a long time! She's evil!" The pregnant woman worked herself up again until she was shouting and pointing maniacally at the brunette on the bed.
"Could you take this conversation elsewhere?" Regina rolled her eyes disdainfully at the pregnant woman screaming her house down, but was not-so secretly enjoying her angst tremendously.
"She's not evil mom. She's changed. Yes she's sassy as hell and can be rude and even offensive sometimes." At this she gave the brunette a pointed look, but Regina just examined her nails, feigning disinterest in their conversation. "But she's a good person with a good heart."
"Debatable." The brunette grinned at Emma with a flash of white teeth and the blonde scowled her irritation.
"Could you give us a moment?" The blonde offered her mom a strained smile, pulling the sheet over her own and Regina's head before she could protest and glowering at the brunette.
"What the hell Regina?" Emma whispered to the infuriating woman beside her. "You're not helping!"
"Why should I? I don't have to prove myself to Snow White." Regina sniffed, affronted at the very idea.
"She's your girlfriend's mother. Why are you acting like this, don't you want me to be happy?" Emma arched a petulant brow at her girlfriend.
"Lovely. She breaks into my house, calling me names and I'm the bad guy." Regina rolled her eyes skyward at the blonde. "Once an evil queen always an evil queen it seems."
"I'm not saying that Regina! I'm just saying she's doing this because she's worried. If you show her there's nothing to worry about then she'll have no choice but to accept this." At this the blonde stared Regina down, a pleading look in her emerald eyes.
Regina laughed humourlessly, deliberately turning away from the blonde. "Your mother knows for a fact that you are in no danger from me. I'm just not the handsome prince she imagined her perfect little princess ending up with."
"So what? You're saying she's doing this because she's a homophobe? Come on Regina don't be silly."
"No. If it was Cinderella or Aurora or any of those simpering princesses I'm sure she'd get over it. I'm saying she's doing this because I am me. I was an evil queen; I tried to kill her, cursed her twice and tried to put you under the sleeping curse. She'll never see me as anything other than evil."
Emma shook her head, refusing to admit defeat the way the brunette so easily had. "But she saw you were changing. You two were getting along. And she can hardly allow you to live with Henry and then claim you're too dangerous for me to be with. It makes no sense."
"Nothing about us being together does either."
"What's that supposed to mean?"
'...'
"Regina?" The blonde lifted her hand and stroked the brunette's cheek. Under the sheet the light was sparse but Emma could still see the pained expression on Regina's face. "Tell me what's wrong?"
"I'm just... Your mother will never, ever accept me, which means she may not accept you either. You may start to resent me for that."
"Regina I'd never... It's her I would resent, honestly. But if we don't try..."
"Emma!" The pregnant woman was growing impatient and incredibly uncomfortable about what may or may not be going on under those sheets.
Emma popped her head out once again and Regina resurfaced beside her.
"Can you maybe go? I mean if you want to talk about this we can meet up later at Granny's? But now's clearly not a good time."
"Fine." Snow gave Regina one last filthy look which the brunette returned with a half-hearted smirk before exiting the room, slamming the door angrily on her way out.
"I refuse."
"Regina please."
"Absolutely not."
"But please."
"It's a categorical no."
"Please!"
"Nu uh."
"Pleaseee."
"Don't look at me like that, my answer remains the same."
"It won't be that bad."
"It will."
"Fine, no kisses till you change your mind."
"Your loss."
"And no more sexy times either."
"Also your loss."
"Oh really?" Emma deliberately dropped her keys onto the floor, muttering an innocent "oops, clumsy me." Before bending over in front of the brunette to pick it up.
Regina's eyes flickered to the blonde's shapely behind in her skin-tight jeans, biting her lower lip as she stared. Emma promptly re-emerged with the keys, grinning triumphantly at the brunette's gawping.
"Just my loss, hmm?"
Regina rolled her eyes, snatching the keys and flinging them on the table. After Snow had left both women had showered and moved downstairs for breakfast, Emma badgering her the entire time to meet her parents at Granny's. "Why the hell do I need to meet up with your parents anyway? Snow has made her stance on our relationship perfectly clear. You talk with them!"
"We need to sort this out Regina. Please. It would mean the world to me." The blonde gazed imploringly into the eyes of the older woman, who finally gave in with a small sigh.
"Fine, but I don't promise to be nice."
"Deal." Emma grinned, grabbing her cell phone and texting her parents with a time and meeting place.
"So Snow, you promise to be reasonable?" David stared apprehensively at the pixie-haired woman as they sat down in a booth at Granny's, 5 minutes early for their meeting with Regina and Emma.
"I'm always reasonable." The pregnant woman snapped in response to her husband, taking a sip of tea and nicking a fry from her husband's plate.
"You barged in on our daughter and her girlfriend... In bed together!" At this his ears turned pink with embarrassment. "That was completely out of order Snow."
"Regina is not Emma's girlfriend." The brunette hissed the words in return, at the exact moment as the bell chimed and their daughter pushed the door of the diner open. They both watched along with the whole of the gawping diner as Emma held the door open for the brunette who smiled widely and gratefully at the blonde, grabbing her hand.
"Are you sure about that?" David raised a brow challengingly at his wife as he offered the pair a short wave and strained smile as they approached the booth hand in hand, Emma beaming with happiness and Regina smiling contentedly but looking a little uneasy at the stares the pair received.
"Hey Em! Hi Regina." The blue eyed man stood up and embraced his daughter, pausing awkwardly before wrapping his arms around Regina in a quick hug. Regina's dark eyes widened in shock and she stiffened at the contact, but her lips twisted into a small smile at the gesture.
"Dad... Mom." Emma nodded her hello, frowning as she noted the scowl her mother directed at her father.
Regina said nothing, sitting in the booth opposite Charming and staring blankly ahead, composing herself, ready for the verbal abuse she would more than likely have to face from the silently fuming pregnant woman.
"So..." Emma began, as the uncomfortable silence reached new heights of awkwardness. "We should all talk?"
"What is there to talk about?" Snow piped up for the first time since the two women arrived. "You're choosing Regina over your parents, evil over good, darkness over light."
"Snow." Charming turned to her, his voice laced with exasperation.
"What? It's true. Regina's obviously using Emma to hurt me."
"Gee, thanks." Emma mumbled, rolling her green eyes before tuning out of the conversation.
"The world does not revolve around you Snow White." Regina's chestnut orbs were stormy as she listened in astonishment to the pregnant woman.
"Yours does! You cursed a whole town to punish me! Just because I spilled your stupid secret when I was a kid. Get over it!"
"My secret was not stupid. Daniel died because of what you did. And believe it or not, I did get over it. I actually like Emma, look at her and tell me why you find that so hard to believe." The brunette was beginning to anger; she took a few deep breaths and counted to ten to calm herself but was sure her vein was pulsing to attention on her forehead.
"It's not about Emma's appeal Regina, obviously that's non-debatable! It's about you, you have no space left in your darkened heart to love."
"So my son?"
"Henry is Emma's son, and my grandson. You're lucky we let him live with you."
"Snow!" Charming exclaimed, squeezing his eyes shut in frustration.
"I'm lucky?" The brunette's eyes had blackened with a raging fire and she clenched her fists, desperately trying to resist the urge to summon a fireball and fling it in Snow's face. She turned to the blonde beside her, surprised and bemused that the saviour had not come to her defence.
Emma was in her own world, barely listening as her mother and girlfriend came to blows. She was busy scheming a way to get her mother to accept herself and Regina, it was clear that simple discussion was not going to cut it. When the brunette turned to her with a glare she blinked, looking around the table.
"Yeah I see where you're both coming from." She said the words confidently, hoping they somehow fit into the conversation she hadn't heard a word of.
"Huh?" David raised a brow at his daughter and Regina scowled.
"Were you even listening?" The brunette spat the words, seconds away from standing up and exiting the diner. She didn't know what Emma was playing at but Snow's verbal abuse was pushing her over the edge and she wouldn't be able to stand it without her girlfriend's support.
"Of course!" Emma nodded earnestly, slightly too enthusiastically as she waved at Granny as the elderly woman ambled past, searching desperately for a source of distraction.
"What are you doing in here!?" Granny looked horrified and there was an abnormal rudeness in her tone as she noticed for the first time Emma's presence in her diner.
"Oh it's okay Granny, I..." Emma paused as inspiration took her and a slow smirk spread across her face.
"Granny who do you think is hotter, Marco or Archie?" The blonde relaxed her face into the blankest expression she muster, eyes staring blankly ahead.
"Marco!" Granny gasped out the word and then ran away back to the kitchen, not in the mood to be any more humiliated by the town's saviour. Emma winced internally, she would have to apologise profusely to Granny for all of this later. The blonde then turned her attention back to the table. Her parents were frowning, unsurprised by this turn of events and resigning themselves to having to answer her questions. Regina simply stared at her suspiciously, being the only one who knew the blonde was no longer cursed.
What on earth are you playing at Emma?
Okay, this is the penultimate chapter as I'm running out of steam with this story. I'll happily start another SQ fic with Humour/romance themes, so if you have any ideas please leave it in review or message me. I don't have tumblr so if you want to send me a prompt you can tweet me IntrepidPassion (or we can just talk about ouat or SQ) :p