Chapter Nine - Hate

Gudrun, freshly wrapped in her dry clothes, shuddered out of cold and gently lied on the ground, her arms spread onto the sky. She faced the whiteness of it. It seemed infinite, endless. Sometimes she just wished she could reach the boundaries and crush them in the palm of her hand. A flock of crows was flying above her carelessly, mimicking a circle of black dots. They were high in the sky but Gudrun could still hear them crowing.

When she was little, she remembered how her mother kindly made fun of her, saying her hair was just like crow feathers. She said they were probably removed at her birth by Odin's crows, and replaced with their feathers. Her mother was blonde, just like Floki. So it was obviously not from her she got her hair. And the man she believed to be her father for all these years had light brown hair, so unlike hers. Her adoptive father was a rather soft man, who always encouraged her into kindness. When her mother died, she had only him. And it was a shock to her to know that she had been lied to for all this time, by her own mother. Hilda died of plague. Gudrun was too little at the time to really understand, but her mother's death had left her colder than before. She had never talked about it to anyone, even with her "dad". She hadn't mentioned to Floki how she died either, she didn't even know what he was thinking about her.

Gudrun's eyes got watery. She tried to repress the coming tears and blamed the humidity of the place, but it had been too much time she had held herself back from crying. A sob came out, then another one, both choked. She wretchedly put her hands over her face, as hiding the pitiful truth from the eyes of the Gods. The Gods... Another sob escaped Gudrun's throat. If it were not for them, her life would have been so much more peaceful... If it were not for Aegir, her mother would probably have raised her here, in her homeland. Gudrun was persuaded Aegir had had the potential to help her mother, and didn't do it. The Jötun had powers, didn't he? So why didn't he help the woman he loved?

With a hand trembling of rage, Gudrun chased a tear that was insolently running on the side of her temple. But the man she hated above all was the one who had stabbed her mother in the eye and forced her out of here. Though she swore not to kill anyone, she probably would made an exception for him. If it were not for him, she would've lived here peacefully with her mother and who knows, maybe Aegir, and Hilda would not have died from plague as a stupid Englishwoman.

Gudrun bit her lip hard and dug in her hands with her nails. She saw the crows were gone, and that some dark clouds were malevolently darkening the once white sky. She rose and shook her head like a wet dog, shivering from the cold. She grabbed the handle of Hildasmunr and pulled it out of the ground harshly.

As the sky was now of a dark grey colour and growling, the forest also became much darker. The tree all looked the same, and Gudrun was definitely not wanting to get lost. She had avoid going back by the shore since she half expected another divine visit, and she really didn't want to have any contact with the Gods again. The more she thought about it, the more she doubted she would make it out alive when finding the spy. Or killing Surt. As if she had a chance to kill him...

Gudrun quickened her footsteps. She really was fearing the heavens to cry their heart out, the sky was becoming heavier at each of her steps. Suddenly, she heard something move a few meters away from her. She could not see very well, but her heart was now beating very fast. She froze in her haste and tried not a to move a single part of her body, only to listen better. The thing moved again. Cold sweat ran down Gudrun's back. The dark bushes that hid it quivered, then split to reveal an enormous dark form. The poor girl thought she was about to pass out. In front of her stood a large, terrible, frightening bear, obviously more gifted in the dark that she was. She still couldn't move but now even her blood ran cold in her veins. The rhythm of her heartbeat was threatening to kill her. But at least, it would be quick... Not as the painful death that was promising her the sharp claws and teeth of the animal. A tricky sob escaped from her mouth and the bear turned its head at her after hearing the sound. Gudrun shut her mouth with her hand in sheer horror, realising she had just quickened the time of her death. The bear growled. She screamed.

A high-pitched cry rose from the woods as the dark sky was now covering all of the land. Björn raised his head, suddenly looking very worried. He looked at his uncle, who had a now serious look on his face. They both knew it was Gudrun. Ragnar got to them running.

"Did you hear that?" he uttered.

"Yes." said Björn without looking at his father, still staring at nothing, freezing. He was just a child.

"Come, brother." said Rollo, beginning to run in the direction of the scream. Ragnar grabbed his axe and sprinted in the forest, screaming a few words to his son as he left.

"Watch your sister, your mother will soon be back!"

Björn did not answer. He felt cold. He felt deep inside of him that something had happened to his friend. A chilly shiver ran down his spine, and after a few minutes he went back into the house to find his sister and keep her.

The bear was huge. At each of its breaths, Gudrun felt her heart go up and down in her chest. Hildasmunr was trembling in her hand, and the weak light that remained reflected on its blade, which unfortunately caught the eye of the bear. It sniffed the blade, always inching closer from Gudrun. She swallowed hardly and held her sword between her and the bear.

"Go away!" she mumbled. Her voice was heavy with the menace of tears.

The bear turned its head at her and stared at her for a painfully long time. While it deeply exhaled, Gudrun was holding her breath. The air was now incredibly cold and the warm blows of air from the bear's nose strangely comforted Gudrun in her fear. She looked in the bear's eyes and was amazed by how beautiful they were. She inwardly laughed. Wasn't it ironic that she was admiring what was about to kill her? She couldn't see much in the darkness yet a beautiful glint of brown, and for a second she thought the soul of that bear was almost human. Then it stood.

Gudrun fell to the ground in fear, crawling backwards until she hit a tree. The breath of the bear hit her in the face as it fell back on its front members, making the ground shake in its fall. For what felt like years, the bear only looked at Gudrun, the only audible sounds being its loud exhaling and Gudrun's choked sobs. She had dropped Hildasmunr in her haste and surprise. She was going to die. Her blood ran cold in her veins. She was going to die.

"Gudrun!" called a loud voice she knew so well.

She didn't even dare to look at him. She perfectly knew what was going to happen if she moved, be it only a blink. She was completely paralysed, and when she heard the voice of Ragnar scream "Don't move!" to her, she mentally snickered. As if she was going to move under this terrible bear.

"I'm going to shoot it, don't move!" said Rollo.

He drew his bow slowly, trying not to catch the attention of the bear. He was about to shoot, when Ragnar's hand stopped him.

"Wait."

"He's about to kill her!" replied his brother.

"Just look."

Gudrun's trembling hand suddenly raised to the muzzle of the great animal. Her lip quivered as she fought back her tears, but when her skin made contact with the warm fur of the bear she silently cried. She stayed like that for minutes before the bear drew back, for no reason. Gudrun leapt to her feet in a hurry, quickly backing from the bear. The animal was heavily walking back in the dark woods. She felt her vision blur with the tears she had been holding for so long. She covered her mouth with her shaking hand and watched the bear go away. She could hardly breathe, and didn't even notice when the two brothers ran at her.

"Are you alright?" asked Ragnar worriedly.

She nodded silently, closing her eyes. She shuddered and suddenly felt very weakened. When she tried to walk, she tripped after a few steps and it was Rollo who caught her.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry..." she apologised. Her head felt so dizzy and blurry as she mumbled.

"It's fine, he's gone now..." Ragnar said soothingly.

But nothing could appease her. The anxiety was making her chest rise and fall quickly and the control on her body felt like slipping away. She reluctantly gripped Rollo's arm, but slowly her mind fell in the dark. She passed out.

Rollo caught her before she hit the ground. He lifted her in his arms looking rather worried. He didn't see the strange look his brother gave him since he was too bothered watching her. He asked Ragnar:

"Can you take my bow and my sword?"

Ragnar nodded, still oddly concentrated on the way his brother was acting with the unconscious girl lying in his arms. He was rather... soft. Apart from his own children, Ragnar had rarely seen his brother act so freely and carefully with someone. He was very aware of what was slowly building itself upon Rollo, and thought better to wait and see where it could lead him. He didn't want his brother to get hurt in any way, though he did not think that Gudrun would do it intentionally. But Rollo had never apparently felt for someone that way, or at least never showed it. A smile tugged at Ragnar's lips. Well, this was promising.

"What happened?" asked a stricken Lagertha as she saw Gudrun's inanimate form in her step-brother's arms.

"A bear attack. But she's alright. Just passed out." answered Ragnar.

"A bear attack? You perfectly know there are no bears here." she said, cocking an eyebrow in suspicion.

"That's what he thought." said Rollo. He slowly laid Gudrun on the ground before walking up to his brother.

Lagertha looked pretty worried but also curious. She was eyeing the two men carefully, the gears of her brain were showing. A bear? Really?

"We can't do our plan tonight if she's not well." said Ragnar. "It won't work if we're too few."

"I think we can do it without her." answered his brother, stealing a glance in her direction. What he didn't was that Gudrun was perfectly awake, and carefully listening to the conversation between the vikings.

She had not completely passed out after her encounter with the bear. She wasn't able to walk because of the sudden weakness that had spread in her limbs, but she was still a bit conscious. The minute of darkness she fell in didn't last for long, and when she awoke from it she felt herself in a warm and rather familiar place. Her heart had raced in her chest and she had to mentally calm herself to not die from a stroke. She knew, she just knew she was in the arms of the tall viking she had been trying not to look at. She could feel his warm breath on her neck, the strength of his arms carrying her, and the regular pace of his heart in the solid chest of his. She had frozen for a second but had reminded herself not to seem too awake.

"I'll be there." she said, her voice weak.

She was carefully standing up, still feeling her legs tremble. She shook her head to chase the headache that was threatening to fall upon her.

"Are you sure? You don't seem... well..." said Ragnar, eyeing her weakened form.

"Yes. I'll just take a nap and be as a strong as you, I want to come."

"Well you just had a good nap." said Rollo playfully.

"Actually I wasn't sleeping.'' The words escaped her mouth quicker than she had wanted to. In fact, she hadn't wanted to say that. Her cheeks reddened brightly and she avoided the look of Ragnar's brother, who instead wore a smirk on his lips.

"Well go sleep now! You won't come if you're a drag!" said Lagertha, hushing her inside.

Gudrun was still blushing stupidly, so mad at herself. She quickly went inside and fell on her pallet like a heavy brick. She tried not to think too much of the stupid smirk of Rollo but sadly, the thought of what was coming for them tonight was keeping her from peacefully sleeping.

Whack!

The smack struck Siggy hard and quick on the cheek. She fell on her knees as she held her skin tightly to strangle the pain. Her husband was looking at her with disgust.

"You failed me again." he spat.

Siggy gently stroked her red and swollen skin. No tears came from her eyes, she had stopped crying and begging a long time ago. Now, she just felt anger against that man. That man she had almost learned to love throughout their marriage, that man she had had children with. Now the only thing she was thankful for was that their daughter wasn't watching.

"He didn't say more. If I searched too far, he would've known."

"You didn't even try!" he screamed.

"He would've known." she repeated silently.

"Leave us, all of you!" the Earl commanded to the warriors and the servants of the room. He then leaned on the wall opposite to Siggy with his elbow. And began to speak lowly. His voice betrayed that he was on the verge of tears.

"... Should have killed her... When I had the chance..."

"Yes, you should." bitterly replied Siggy, stumbling to her feet still holding her cheek.

"But she was almost dead! I stabbed her in the eye and then... Then..."

"... Then you couldn't finish what you had begun. And you let her go." said Siggy, walking up to her husband and massaging his rigid shoulders. "I would have ended her."

"You would've been so dangerous as a man, Siggy... My love, I am sorry..."

Haraldsson turned around and gently laid his hand on his wife's cheek. He kissed her on the other side and looked at her with eyes full of anger, remorse and pain.

"But now we have to finish what we have begun. And kill the bastard girl."

"She's not so bad, you know. She was not a danger before you attacked her..."

"And now, it's too late!" he bellowed.

Siggy looked in the tired eyes of her husband. She knew she looked tired too, but she couldn't die or stop there. She had to carry on.

"I fear an attack soon." said Siggy hesitatingly. "They're not going to let it go so easily. These are the Lothbroks we are talking about."

"Sadly... I remember their father when they came down here. The same annoying prick." he said with poison in his words. "I wish they were just all dead."

"That can happen soon, my love. If we are cautious." Siggy murmured in his ear.

"I wish I had just stabbed that whore Hilda deeper... How did she dare, cheat on me with a traveler?! When I found out she was pregnant I couldn't just keep her... And the bastard she was carrying!" he spoke even louder, hurting Siggy's ear.

"And now she might now you were her mother's husband and the one who chased her out. If I were you I would sleep with my weapons on me."

"Shut up." he spat.

"Fine, if you don't want advice..." said Siggy bitterly, leaving to her room.

"And one last thing, husband." she said. "Stop using me like a whore." She gritted her teeth and left, leaving the sight of the broken man she had married. She couldn't take this anymore. She had an insatiable need for sleep. A long sleep.

[A/N: I honestly don't know how to apologise for the wait. It's been a month, a goddamn month. It wasn't even a writer's block, but this week was my finals week and I had to study madly, which left very little time for writing. This chapter has been written at different times, so I don't know if there are any disparities yet... I did not reread as usual (this is becoming a very important problem) so if you find any mistakes, I swear they might be inattention mistakes!

Anyway, this was written (the end at least) while listening to a playlist of Metallica ballads! I don't know if you listen to them but it is strangely very motivating and helping for working, writing and concentrating.

If you have any questions on the chapter, feel free to ask me about it! This chapter was a big thing, so if there is something you didn't understand please tell me, it is really important! Also, I have a little riddle for you.

Who, or what, do you think the bear was? I'm probably not going to include it in the next chapters, but be sure that you'll hear of it again! ;)

I wish you a very merry Christmas in case I don't post anything around that time, but I think I might be able to write more since, well... It's the holidays, woohooo! (Well I still have to finish this week of finals, but after that I'll be freeeee!)

Feel free to review, follow the story or discuss it with me, and thank you so much for your time! You are amazing readers! ;)]