Chapter Ten - Love

Rollo didn't want to go back. He didn't want to see this woman again, he only wanted it to be over and have a good drink of ale. Maybe with Ragnar. Maybe alone. Maybe with Gudrun. He could see the sun fading away through the pale clouds, but he couldn't retrace his steps. If they wanted the night to be a success, it was now he had to lie. Now he had to meet Siggy again, probably for the last time, now he had to lie to her. He wasn't the best of liars, but he could manage. The most painful thing for him was to leave a weakened Gudrun behind at Floki's. He wouldn't admit it, especially not in front of Ragnar, but the bear attack had left him angrier than he had been in days. When he had seen it above the black haired girl, a sudden rage had taken possession of him. If it were not for Ragnar, he would have acted thoughtlessly. Stupidly. And he felt terribly guilty about that. Still, he couldn't help but feel proud at Gudrun's courage, her want to end with this folly herself. She would come, even if she was wounded.

As always, Siggy was waiting out on the porch, wrapped in comfortable and warm furs. When she saw him, she smiled. The same smile as always, cold yet emotive, and her eyes were watery. Rollo couldn't hide his concerned frown when he saw her. It would be the last time. He absent-mindedly wondered if she would die too.

Siggy welcomed him in a warm embrace. Rollo couldn't help but notice a red mark on her cheek. She kissed him briefly, then led him in. She took her furs off seductively, letting them drop to the floor. She knew Rollo's eyes were following her every movement. But he was acting so differently than usual, as if it was the last time... But she knew. She knew this silly game had to end.

"It's been long since I last saw you." said Siggy.

Rollo said nothing at first, his eyes were stuck on the darkening grey sky. He wondered if the Gods would help him. This time at least.

"I came to deliver a message to you, and a request." he deeply hoped this would work.

"I'm listening." she smiled. She blinked slowly, revealing eyelids heavy with lack of sleep.

"Tonight, my brother and I will be at his. You know he does not live here anymore, due to your husband researching him. But we want to get some clothes back, some food, you know, some material to live. The winter will probably be hard and we're soon going to be short."

"Oh, my poor love." Siggy caressed his cheek with the palm of her hand. "And what is the request?"

"I want you to stay out of this. Protect yourself." he hesitated. "If you could keep your husband and his men out of searching us, it would be a great help." He paused again, scanning her face. He kissed her lips briefly, for what he thought would be the last time. "Be safe."

She held his hand tightly and dropped it, and watched him leave from where he came. Siggy didn't want to cry, she had cried enough. But she had to change her plans if the Lothbroks were going back to their home. Even though her heart clenched at the thought of them dying, she had to tell her husband. Or she would never have the occasion to be alone again.

Gudrun was woken by Björn shaking her.

"Wake up you lazy girl!" he kind of smirked.

She sprung up, alert, and smacked him on the head. Her eyes looked angry, but she was softly smirking too. A small laugh escaped Björn's mouth as he escaped from Gudrun's oncoming fury. Even for her, sleep was sacred. Her legs didn't feel as weak as before, yet she gripped the wall to avoid awkwardly tangling. The sky was darker now, and she knew Rollo was already gone. If everything was to happen correctly, the Earl would be alone in his home with maybe a few warriors to protect him and his wife. The warriors he probably has just sent would have at least two days before coming back, so they had the time to do their business since Floki's house was not very far away from Kattegat. Fear was not lesser in Gudrun's blood, but her heart was telling her to remain strong. Revenge was not in her nature, but the last weeks had seen in her a great need to avenge her mother. She had been disfigured for life and sullied by Haraldsson, and she wanted him to pay. She hadn't really told anyone, but her first objective was him, not the spy or Surt.

"Come on, grab an axe. Rollo might already be waiting." said Lagertha as she saw Gudrun get out.

Rollo... Gudrun hoped nothing had happened to him. Her heart paced faster at the thought of him, as well as a taste of bile deep in her throat. If something happened to him... She caught herself drowning into negative thoughts. She had difficulty pulling herself together, but Lagertha, seeing she had not taken any weapon, threw her Hildasmunr which she had left near her bed like an idiot.

"Move!" she called.

Gudrun followed her. Ragnar was already gone, and since his wounded leg was not completely healed, he walked a bit slower. Floki had come with him because he asked, and he thought it was better not to be alone, even for Ragnar. Gudrun felt more than ever that he was right. She suddenly began to fear for Floki too, her only family, then for Lagertha, and for Ragnar. She wondered if they all felt the same, or if they were just used to their friends dying. She doubted it, but the bonds that linked the family and friends together was probably enough to make them fear for their mutual lives. She was walking fast behind Lagertha, who obviously had her shield on her back. The darkness of the night was falling again, and even though the air around her was rather chilly, Gudrun was seating heavily. The only thing keeping her strong was her unexpected adrenaline and the desire to see her friends again.

After a walking for a really long time, Gudrun was not only sweaty but also very excited. The humidity had made her eyes watery and she felt definitely more instinctive. And when she saw Rollo sitting in the ferns with his brother and Floki, she almost ran to him but held her breath instead and took in the nearby village.

"Alright, lets go." muttered Ragnar, visibly annoyed by having to do this. He had more anger in his eyes than usual.

Floki and Lagertha began to follow him, and did not notice Gudrun who stayed a bit back. But Rollo did.

"Are you alright?" he asked.

She nodded, feeling her throat tight. Her grip on her sword tightened.

"It's okay to be afraid." said Rollo reassuringly. He didn't really know how to comfort her and make her less stressed. He did not fear for what might wait for them at the Earl's, but he was a little scared for her. He intended to stay at her side for how long they had to be there. For how long they would need to find answers. Now he was thinking about it, the plan was a little stupid.

A wild instinct overtook him and he took her hand and held it hard. She jerked at the contact but tightened her grip back. This little reaction from her meant everything to the tall viking. Knowing they maybe had limited time together, he decided to claim her now. His heart was beating fast, seeing her lips slowly parting and her eyes wild. He grabbed her shoulder and went down on her mouth. According to the circumstances, he would have been hungry, dangerous, devastating, but he found in himself a burning slowness he did not understand as their lips touched. The contact was divine, intoxicating. Gudrun's lips were so soft, she tasted like a timid spring. His hands made way to her back and held her fiercely, strongly. He could feel her distraught pulse against his broad chest, and her small and soft hands finding comfort in his warmth.

Gudrun had forgotten how to think. The contact with Rollo's lips had made her forget any notion of time and space, all that mattered was that moment. The new and exciting friction of their lips sent little bolts of warmth and emotion down below her stomach, and she found herself slowly arching against Rollo's tall and strong figure.

Their lips unlocked and Gudrun, despite all the anxiety and stress around her, had a soft smile tugging at her mouth. Rollo was trying to repress a smirk too, knowing his operation had been a success. His hands did not want to leave her lower back, finding the place perfect and just for him. Just like her mouth was. He inhaled her scent as she slowly let her head rest on his chest. He could still feel her smile against him and that sent warmth down in the deepest place of his heart.

Gudrun suddenly embraced Rollo with all the strength she could summon.

"I don't want to loose you." she muttered.

"Me neither." Rollo admitted in her hair. "We're going now, but I want you to stay close to me."

She silently nodded, and quickly met his demanding lips with hers as she saw him motion to kiss her again. It was a quick, sealing peck, but still filled them with courage and fear for the other. Rollo apparently refused to free her hand from his grip, and she was totally accepting that. Their hands were both warm and slowly tracing patterns with their thumbs on the other's hand. Gudrun already found herself aching for Rollo's quickening breath against her ear, her neck, her lips. Rollo was apparently thinking something similar, since his chest was still heaving fast from their previous embrace.

"Where were you..." began Lagertha as they had rejoined the group.

She stopped when she saw their hands entwined. Gudrun quickly jerked hers away.

"I... I was afraid. I'm sorry."

Lagertha's eyes were wide, and her mouth slightly open as she took in what had probably just happened between the two.

"We'll... See this later. Floki went first and slayed a guard, but the place seems empty. We were waiting for you." she said starkly.

As to account for her words, Floki emerged from the darkness with some dark liquid on his hands and a bit of his cheek. He went to Gudrun and eyed her.

"I don't want you to engage in stupid fights. If you can, avoid them."

She nodded. He patted her shoulder before Ragnar made the hand gesture of "lets go".

All entered the Earl's house with their swords in their hands and a worried and alert look on their faces. The torches were still on in the main room, so it made it look strange without it being filled with usual people. The group split in three parts: Lagertha with Gudrun, Floki with Ragnar, and Rollo alone. Gudrun didn't want to be separated from him but she had no choice. She and Lagertha went towards the sleeping rooms as Floki and Ragnar went outside. Rollo went searching around the stables.

They had one clear goal: eventually find the Earl, and collect what they could about his new alliance. But it wasn't that simple. Gudrun and Lagertha were roaming the Earl's room, carefully pushing his things around. They looked under the bed, behind the walls, in the chests where his clothes were stored. They found nothing. Lagertha threw a pillow away out of frustration and Gudrun swore she heard "by Odin" escape her mouth. As Gudrun mimed still searching through a small chest, Lagertha chose the moment to interrogate her:

"So, you were afraid earlier?"

"Yes." Gudrun said, turning her face away so Lagertha couldn't see the blush.

"And... Rollo comforted you?" she questioned.

"He helped me to face my fear..." Gudrun tried to say in a casual way.

Lagertha raised an eyebrow.

"You think I didn't see you kiss? Or smell him on you? You must really think I'm stupid. It is not my business, but I want to warn you before anything bad happens."

"What... What could happen? And no, I don't think you're stupid!" mumbled Gudrun with embarrassment.

"Have you seen Rollo when he fights?"

Gudrun nodded.

"He fights like a crazy animal. He could be a berserker for all I know! And when he loves, it's the same thing. Are you sure you want this? I bet this is your first man."

Gudrun felt the terrible warmth on her cheeks rise even more.

"I found he was soft with me! And how do you know this anyway?"

"Wait till you see... And don't tell me you don't know it. Everyone knows it. Wait till you meet the bear."

Rollo was walking slowly towards the stables. He didn't know the place well and expected it to be crowded with Haralsson's men, even though he lied to Siggy. He thought the Earl would have left a few men there, at least to protect his place from any intruders. But Haraldsson's rage seemed to be so strong he brought all his servants with him.

There were no horses since the Earl had probably requested all his men available to come. Though they were supposed to be dark, the stables were bathing in a small light coming from the end of it. Rollo's hand tightened its grip on his sword. He made the most silent footsteps and evened his breathing to an inaudible sound. But nothing could prepare him to when he found the source of the light. In the corner of the stables, Siggy was sitting in hay on her knees with a glass or cristal ball on them. Her hands were touching it and her eyes were closed. The strange red light was coming from it. Rollo did not know what to do. Finally, he called.

"Siggy!"

She opened her eyes slowly, and ended the contact with the strange orb. Her eyes were furious and her jaw was clenching harshly. She sprung up and confronted Rollo.

"Who do you think you are to interrupt me!"

Something in her voice wasn't natural. Instinctively, Rollo gripped her arm. But he immediately dropped it as he felt it: it was incredibly hot, as if Siggy had just been inside of a volcano. She jerked away and began to run out. Rollo was struck by shock but followed her.

"I'm... I'm sorry Rollo. I have to do it." Siggy cried to him when they reached the hall. "I have to take my revenge, or I'll never die happy."

"Revenge won't make you happy, believe me." said Rollo.

"Maybe it will." said Siggy.

The orb was still in her hands. The red light emanating from it shone brighter, and screeching voices escaped from it. Rollo could feel its warm aura. Before he could do any move to stop her, a bolt of fire burst from the orb and spread the flames in the hay.

"Don't get in the way, and nothing will happen to you. Farewell, my love." Siggy said with a voice between sorrow and grief. She ran off into the night. Rollo took a few seconds to watch her leave, then ran to where the fire was spreading. He suspected it to be magical since normal fire wouldn't have taken that well, but his mind was mainly on Gudrun. He felt idiot. He had promised to stay by her side, but when the teams were made he hadn't found the courage to claim her.

Never again, he thought.

As he ran to the chambers, he bumped into someone.

"Ow!" screamed Lagertha, on the floor. Rollo quickly helped her to her feet.

"Where is Gudrun?" he hastily asked, almost shaking Lagertha.

"She's following! She found something in Haraldsson's room." she bit back.

As to prove her words, Gudrun came to them running and panting. Rollo grabbed her hand and they all exited from the hall, just in time before heavy logs fell down and flames licked the walls higher. It was like a bonfire in the night, and the three watched it powerless.

"Lagertha!" screamed Ragnar, running to them. Floki was closely following him. He hugged his wife tightly, obviously as surprised by this as the rest of them.

"What, by Tyr, has caused this?" wondered Floki while his wide eyes couldn't part from the fire.

"Siggy." said Rollo, looking at the ground.

All turned to him, eyes filled with questions.

"Lets go back," said Lagertha, "we'll sort this out later. I don't want the Earl to be back now and find us next to his burnt house." She was still eying Rollo threateningly, as if she suspected him of doing something wrong. He wondered if this was because he was holding Gudrun's hand, or because of the strange revelation he had just made. Anyway, they quickly escaped the violent scene in the coldness of the night.

After a few hours of walking fast in the forest, Gudrun felt like she was dying. She had lost Rollo's hand since he was leading them along with his brother in the dark, and her side was killing her. She hadn't mentioned earlier because of more important problems, but she had been burnt under her left breast by a log in flames falling from the ceiling. She held her wounded flesh with caution, trying to avoid contact with her clothes. The pain was slowly getting on her, and she gritted her teeth regularly to avoid whining. No one had noticed yet, and she was grateful. She didn't want to be a burden, not again. She felt relieved and incredibly tired when she recognized the path to Floki's house, but to her great disappointment she tripped over some roots and fell down. Lagertha saw her and quickly came by her side, offering to help her, but Gudrun held her hand up.

"I'm fine, don't worry!" she winced.

"Gudrun... Why is your hand covered in blood?" said Lagertha, taking her hand immediately.

Back on her feet, Gudrun pleaded.

"Please, not now! We must go!"

Lagertha frowned, but let Gudrun go before her. She definitely had some talking to give to the girl. She followed Gudrun to the appearing house, and noticed her holding her side, and walking slower. When they were all reunited, she grabbed Gudrun's arm and lifted it away from her wound.

"What happened?" she bellowed so everyone could hear.

Gudrun blushed then winced. She looked darkly at Lagertha, unhappy that all the attention was suddenly on her. She avoided Rollo's eyes.

"It's not that bad, just a burn..."

"Take your shirt off." said Lagertha with a stark voice.

"But..." Gudrun tried to fight back.

"Take your shirt off!" Lagertha ordered again.

Gudrun reluctantly lifted her clothing above her head, turning her back to the men so they wouldn't see her breasts. She was forced to hold them then, letting her wound be visible to their eyes. She preferred her weakness to be revealed than to appear naked in front of them all. It was worse than what she thought: it had spread on a good part of her left side, and some half dried blood had poured down to her navel.

Rollo swallowed hardly at the sight of her like that. The animal part of him was torn apart: firstly because he had failed his oath to protect her, and seeing her in this state literally killed him. And secondly, because he had never seen so much flesh from her and he felt guilty to look at her like that in such a moment. He still couldn't forgive himself for parting from her. He noticed her shiver and he only needed a few seconds to clear his mind.

"Come on, get inside!" he said.

Yet he didn't dare touch her.

Athelstan had prepared a fire, and Gudrun sat in front of it. Floki fetched some healing plants and material and Lagertha pushed her husband and his brother away.

Ragnar and Rollo were therefore alone together in the room where Gyda and Bjorn were sleeping, a bit awkward and anxious. Rollo sat against the door while Ragnar stroked softly his daughter's hair. He admired his children. They were able to stay so natural and calm with all that happened around them, and he wished he could be the same. He then looked at his brother, and noticed the worry lines digging on his face.

"You love her, do you?"

Rollo did not answer. Instead, he played with a lock of hair absentmindedly.

"Why don't you go check on her?" asked Ragnar.

Another time, Rollo ignored him. Ragnar knew how stubborn his brother was and wasn't wounded by his lack of response. Instead, he stood up and laid his hand on Rollo's shoulder.

"Well I'm going to check on her. Watch over the kids, please."

He left Rollo alone. Rollo needed to let the anger in him die slowly, like he would kill a fire. He had too many things burning in him at the moment: doubt, uncertainty, strength, anger of course, and love. The shame of it was slowly leaving him, but a new burn was added to it. Something unknown. He suspected it to be fear. Rollo had never felt real fear during his life, apart maybe the times when he was a child. But even then, it wasn't fear for himself. It was fear for Gudrun. He realised the treacherousness of love: it made you weak, wanting, unsatisfied. He clenched his fist tightly, settling his mind on Siggy instead.

So, she was the traitor. The human who chose to betray them all. Rollo had difficulty finding her motivations in this war, but he now more than ever wanted her dead. He knew she showed a little pity towards him this night, but that couldn't stop his fury. She had purposefully tried to kill his family, his friends, his Gudrun.

His.

Was she already his? He had not openly claimed her. He knew that didn't matter to her eyes. After their kiss, the warmth emanating from her felt attracted to his being, and Rollo had marvelled at their sudden and so strong connection. They had crossed a barrier this night: Gudrun, especially when they were alone before, would have maybe not reacted so positively. She was terribly shy and Rollo had to admit, though it was uneasy at some times, that he found this side of her quite attractive.

Her lips were so sweet, they tasted like velvet underneath his... He had been careful not bruising her, not letting all the passion devouring him crush her. But it was such a challenge, truly. He had difficulty taming the bear in him. In his darkest hours, when he thought of her, all he could see was him buried deep inside of her, claiming her in the roughest way.

He chased these thoughts from his mind. Though the times were dark, his worry and guilt for Gudrun were both keeping him from being at peace. And he hated that.

[A/N: First things first, the wait I've put all of you through is not tolerable. I'm terribly, deeply sorry, many things happened during these... SIX MONTHS? I'm not going to weep in this note, it's not pretty. But if you're interested in knowing about my life, my grandpa died, i've had terrible exams coming up, school has been hard, and i recently got a boyfriend (i'm not really fond of that word heh), the most beautiful human being i've ever met. And hopefully, having a wee bit more experience will make my writing better... I hope so? Anyway, my apologies probably aren't big enough for such a long wait and writer's block, but I don't have the words for it. But my heart really feels sorry, it's such a shame there are feelings we can't write...

So there was big stuff in this chapter! If you feel Rollo and Gudrun's interaction was too quick, or badly written (T_T) please tell me, so I can correct anything that feels wrong.

I wanted to deeply thank the 81 people who follow the story (SERIOUSLY GUYS? :D), and the 42 favourites (I LOVE YOU ALL), and the recent reviews from Sparky She-Demon (I appreciated your enthusiasm in the story my dear ^^), FandaticForeverAndAlways (thank you so much! Maybe an Athelstan friendship is on its way :p), Guest and SamanthaJane13 (the update is here! ;) ) and of course wabi-sabi1090 (I'm so sorry for the wait!).

See you hopefully soon, my muse is back and some good things are coming! xxx]