Brynn and Skye were sitting at the kitchen table, with Skye's laptop, reading fanfiction about Thor.
"That was really good," said Skye, wiping her eyes after reading a particularly sad one about Thor and Loki.
"I wish we could meet Thor. He's so dreamy," sniffled Brynn, wiping her nose.
"I know right? Jeez, Jane Foster is so lucky."
"Who's lucky?" asked Coulson, coming into the kitchen.
"Jane Foster." Replied Skye.
"Is this about Thor being dreamy again? If it is, then I've got great news for you. Thor's coming to earth. Apparently a Kree escaped from the Asgardian prison yesterday, and Thor's been sent to bring him back."
Loud screams erupted from the kitchen, and Coulson came running out.
"I take it you told them about Thor?" asked May calmly.
The team was standing in a field, waiting patiently for Thor. At least most of them were waiting patiently. Brynn was constantly asking "When's he coming? When's he coming?" and running around staring at the sky.
Suddenly a blinding flash of light appeared and Thor emerged.
"Son of COUL! It has been too LONG!" he boomed. Skye almost fainted.
"WHO are thy COMPANIONS?"
"Thor, this is Agent May, Agent Mack, Agent Skye, Agent Fitz, Agent Simmons, Agent Morse, Agent Hunter, and Brynn."
Thor wrapped Coulson in a tight hug.
"Ouch, Thor, you're hurting my ribs," he wheezed.
"My APOLOGIES son of Coul. Where is the BASE at which the single-eyed one has APPOINTED you? This KREE must be taken back to the DEPTHS of the ASGARDIAN prison, where he will NEVERMORE escape!"
"You'll need to come onto the plane, and we'll take you there."
"I thank you, son of Coul. WHERE is your FLYING boat?"
Thor had sent the Kree back to Asgard, and decided to stay a weekend with his "Midgardian comrades."
It was dinner time, and Coulson was cooking.
"Son of Coul, what is THIS? The smell is pleasing to me." he asked, holding up a box of ice cream.
"It's ice cream, Thor. You can have some after dinner."
"This BOX is very COLD. Have you any of the delicious pastries that are filled with FRUIT and covered in SUGAR?"
"Pop tarts? No, sorry."
"A pity. Popping tarts are quite DELIGHTFUL."
Brynn trotted up to Thor. "Hey Thor, I was wondering if you could give me a piggy back ride."
"Brynn…" warned Coulson. But Thor was delighted.
"YOU are a VERY fair young maiden! Pray tell, WHAT is the ride of the PIG'S BACK? I know not what it be."
"It's where I climb on your back and you carry me around."
"I shall be GLAD to TRANSPORT you." He bent down and Brynn clambered onto his back.
"You are VERY SMALL. In Asgard, you would be the SIZE of one who has just outgrown INFANCY. You are very—son of Coul, what is the word Agent Skye used to describe the INFANT RABBITS?"
"Cute, Thor. The rabbits are cute."
"Ah, yes. Midgardian child, you are very CUTE. Are all midgardian younglings so TINY?"
He ran off with Brynn on his back. Coulson sighed. Thor had left Mjolnir on the cutting board.
Thor came into the training area where Skye was sparring with Lance, with Brynn hanging onto his arm.
"Maiden SKYE! I know NOT why the YOUNGLING clings to my LIMB. I cannot DETACH her."
Brynn giggled as she wrapped her arms even tighter around Thor's large arm, swinging her legs around.
"IS she HURT?"
Skye sighed, secretly wishing that she was Brynn right now. "Brynn, let go of Thor. He'll get tired of carrying you around."
"NAY, maiden Skye, I do not TIRE so QUICKLY," said Thor, slightly offended, "I am concerned that she has HARMED herself and cannot WALK."
"She's not hurt," laughed Skye, "She's just lazy and doesn't want to walk."
"Oh. Please DETACH, oh small one. I must go TALK to Agent MAY."
Brynn whined and dropped down from Thor's arm. She looked up at Thor and pouted.
"NAY, youngling, do NOT WEEP!" said Thor frantically, "I will frolic with you when I am DONE talking to the UN-SMILING one."
Brynn smiled and skipped away. Skye was annoyed that Brynn's puppy dog eyes had worked once again.
Thor hobbled over to Hunter, who was making himself a cup of coffee, with Brynn wrapped around his leg.
"SPEAR, I find it hard to WALK with the child EMBRACING my LEG." He said, shaking his leg, making Brynn squeak and tighten her hold on the Norse god.
"My name's Lance, not Spear."
"My APOLOGIES! Lance, will you ASSIST me in removing BRYNN from my LEG?"
"Brynn, get off of Thor's leg and I'll steal candy for you from Fitz's collection."
Brynn jumped off of Thor's leg immediately.
"There we go," said Hunter, "now you're free, big guy. Brynn, Laffy Taffy or Jolly Ranchers? Fitz ran out of Tootsie Rolls."
"Both!" giggled Brynn, prancing around the kitchen.
"Many THANKS to you, Javelin!" Thor boomed and walked out of the room.
"It's LANCE!"
"Agent SKYE!" yelled Thor, "What is THIS?" he asked, pointing to the computer, where a fanfiction page was up. "IT speaks of ME and LOKI!"
"It's fanfiction, Thor. People write stories about you."
"They DO? I say, this is quite unusual. Do they write UNKIND tales of ME and LOKI?" Thor picked up the computer and squinted at it. "They speak of MEAD and a drunken LOKI. What IS this?"
"Someone wrote a story about you and Loki getting drunk and being silly," said Brynn, who was braiding Thor's hair.
"Indeed, this STORY speaks the TRUTH. Seven fortnights ago, Loki drank EXCESSIVELY of Asgardian Ale and was IMMENSELY drunk."
"This seems like an interesting story," said Brynn, sitting down on Thor's knee, "can you tell us?"
"Please?" begged Skye, seating herself on his other knee.
"Nay, my good COMRADES, lest I be under the WRATH of LOKI. Indeed, telling this story would be MUCH to his EMBARASSMENT."
"But Loki's not here," pouted Brynn, "Pleeeeaaaaasssseeee?"
"Do not CRY, child! I will tell you the story. Loki need not know, and Heimdall would not betray me in such a manner to my brother. He does not LIKE Loki. One day, Loki was sitting on the pavilion with a casket of mead. I greatly desired some of the drink, so I sat with him and we drank merrily of the mead. I ceased in my drinking after my fifth, but Loki persisted, and drank on until his tenth jug. I felt immensely happy, but Loki was so drunken that he collapsed from his chair and laughed on the ground. He then proceeded to inform me that he was a "Happy pretty sparkly pony", and that my esteemed father Odin was a "Hairy mole-rat." Indeed, the mead had taken over my good judgement and I laughed along. Then he related to me his adventures with a horse, and how Odin's steed was actually his own child, which he gave birth to while he was in the form of a female stallion. Then he rolled around and called Heimdall was a "Glittering Princess Goblin", and when I cautioned him that Heimdall could see all, he roared "HEIMDALL IS A NOSY SAGGY GEEZER!" and I reproached him, saying "Is that any way to address the Glittering Princess of the Goblins?" and we laughed heartily, and Loki drank his eleventh jug."
Brynn and Skye were laughing so hard that they were just leaning against Thor, with their mouths wide open gasping for air, and their faces an unnatural shade of purple.
Coulson walked in, just in time to hear:
"And THEN Loki offended all my avenging companions and said that the Good Captain was a "Spangled Ballerina in Inappropriately Tight Leggings"! AHAHAHAHAHAHA!"
Brynn shrieked with laughter and Skye fell off of Thor's knee.
"Maiden SKYE!" Thor helped Skye back onto his knee and proceeded to relate to them every insult Loki hurled at the Avengers, and how many times he hiccupped and how red he was in the face.
Coulson stalked away, vowing to avenge the fallen name of his idol. "Spangled Ballerina, my foot!" he growled, "Loki will pay for this!"
"AND THEN DO YOU KNOW WHAT HE CALLED DOCTOR HULK? AHAHAHAHA!"
May looked into the kitchen and shook her head. The Norse god was holding two girls on his lap, with his hair in a bunch of little braids, roaring with laughter, and all three were eating—was that Fitz's candy? She quickly took out her phone and snapped a picture. This was so going on facebook.
The team was standing in the field, about to see Thor off. They all looked gloomy, and Mack was holding Brynn, who was weeping uncontrollably.
"NAY, dear youngling," said Thor as gently as he could, patting her head awkwardly, "Do no WEEP and shed tears SO. I shall visit AGAIN and maybe even bring LOKI."
"I think just you will be fine," said Coulson quickly, not quite fond of the possibility of seeing Loki again.
"Very well. I must take my LEAVE. Heimdall calls! Farewell MIDGARDIAN FRIENDS! Send my regards to Captain Rogers! FAREWEELLLLL!" he called as a blinding flash of light appeared, and the next moment he was gone. Brynn let out a distressed wail and Skye began to sniffle.
"Well, look on the bright side!" said Coulson, trying to cheer up the melancholy team, "Now we get to talk to Captain America!"