Disclaimer: Yada yada I don't own it. I GET IT ALREADY!

And for those who can, find the Japanese versions of "Under the Sea" and "A New Day is Dawning." It's so friggin' hilarious to hear, and Miyu Irino can sing better than Haley Joe Osmet. Thank goodness.

Another note: While working on this, I'm doing a side project, or two. Yeah, two. One is an original work, and the other is the sequel to AfTeRlIfE, for those who are interested.

This chapter is nonsensical! I realize that! Chapter 6 will go back to a better storyline, but please read the silliness! It's not under humor for nothing!

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"There is no way we're going to be able to land in that, you know."

They were all standing around Auron's navigation post to see the new world titled Atlantica. It wasn't so much of a world, but a gigantic ball of water. There was absolutely no land. How were they supposed to breathe underwater for who knows, maybe hours? Demyx couldn't even do that!

"Maybe there's a costume change there too!" Demyx pondered.

"I don't think running around like goblins is going to help us breathe, genius," Larxene scoffed.

"No, I mean like something to help us adapt to the surroundings!"

"Ooh, good job Demyx, you were able to squeeze in a few big words!" Xaldin teased. The lancer and the nymph began to laugh and Demyx lowered his head. Auron could see it in the reflection of the ship's window. He'd been acting differently, in a way, once they got back on the Falcon Peak. He had been offering to help with the controls, or to get Larxene something to drink, but he always had that stupid smile on his face. And he was able to have the same annoying little quirks while he did all these helpful things.

Maybe what he said had changed him for good.

"You people should listen to my ideas more often, or else Sloth will eat us all alive!"

Or maybe not.

"It's Sin, you moron. And I don't care if you drown, but we're finding that aeon no matter what. If you have any objections, you're staying here." He pushed the land button and parted the crowd around him. "I'm going no matter what, so get over here Demyx."

The other past Organization members looked at each other, then to the summoner and his guardian, then shrugged their shoulders. "I'm guessing Demyx has a favorite, huh?" Larxene sarcastically asked. "At least we don't have to deal with him all day. Come on, we might as well do something as interesting as this. It's not like there's something great to do in here!"

"I'm not going" Xaldin sternly said.

"If you don't go I'll have Mommy Diablos come back to haunt you." She smiled and waved to Demyx. "Hey Demyx, can we see Diablos for a second?"

"Alright, fine, I'll go! Just…don't do that. Please. Don't."

"Hehe, I knew you'd see it my way!"
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The water was a beautiful crystal blue with just about everything swimming in it. Seaweed and anemones waved back and forth while schools of fish guided by the currents. Clams were opening and closing with pearly smiles, and a sense of joy and glee filled the sea.

That glee suddenly went away once our heroes got there.

Well, at least Demyx had been right about the wardrobe change. They were alive, breathing through the deep blue, and swimming. It was just a matter of how they were doing those things. Their whole lower bodies had been transformed into some kind of sea creature that also reflected their personalities and plain facts.

For example, Demyx was given a candy blue shark's lower half , and was hastily swimming around the irritated Auron, who was also a shark, but had red skin with a scar running down the left side.

"C'mon Auron, try swimming around a little! It's fun once you get the hang of it!" the summoner cheered.

"At least we don't look as bad as those two. I mean, really," Auron smirked.

Xaldin didn't really mind as much as he could. Instead of a shark, his legs became a set of six poison black tentacles. Demyx began to laugh at the new Octo-Xaldin, but he wrapped four of the suckers around lances and the other two around the musician's waist. He made a slight 'eep' sound and stopped laughing. And Larxene…she was a different story. Her usual antennae and slicked back blonde hair was illuminated by the streaking sunshine with her golden mermaid tail. And she was topless, save for two seashells. This is why she hated being the only female Organization member.

"You know, any normal airship would have diving gear on it, but no, I got stuck being a mer-slut. Wonderful."

"Well put it this way: we get to see a dolled-up Larxene and you get to stare at us without shirts all day," Demyx said, trying not to laugh at her, because if Xaldin was going to twist his torso off…

"What makes you think that I want to look at you guys all day?"

"Because you've been eyeing the red one for the past five minutes!" said a new slithering voice.

"Wh-wh-what do you…wait, who are you anyway?" She turned to see a duo of jade Moray eels snickering at the newcomers. Their buggy eyes scanned them and landed on Xaldin's six-legged body.

"You, of Ursula's kinship, of timing we have found you!" the first eels cackled.

"Yes, yes, you look strong enough to help us!" the other continued.

Xaldin gave his comrades the "what the hell is with these talking fish" look and asked them "What do you need my help for, and who is this Ursula?"

"She's our master, the Sea Witch. Yes, yes, you can get the Trident for us, yes, yes!"

"The Trident is with the king! Come with us, to summon the creature Leviathan for vengeance on the sea!"

Demyx ears perked up at the word summon. This Leviathan, it must have been an aeon! But then again, they would have to work with a witch to get to it. Witches equaled bad, and kings with tridents equaled good. He'd read enough books to remember that much on cliché villainy. "So if we get this trident for you, you'll get Levitation, correct?"

Auron sighed and smacked Demyx on the back of the head. "It's Leviathan. Le-vi-a-than!" He then whispered into his ear "Do you really think helping some other octopus freak is going to help us get the aeon or has your brain turned into a piece of kelp?"

Demyx rubbed the bump on his head. "Ahhh, you didn't have to hit me! It's called being a double-agent!" He got his payback and gripped Auron's head from the scalp and pulled his ear to his mouth. "We're not going to help anyone because we're going to keep Le-vi-a-than for ourselves while they each tackle each other!"

"Oh, now I get it!" Larxene piped up while trying to adjust her shell bra. "That's actually pretty smart, Shark Boy!"

Demyx replied with a goofy grin and a big thumbs-up. "That's why I'm the Grand Summoner!"

"Yes, yes, pardon for the lack of introductions. We are Jetsam,"

"And Flotsam!" the two eels once again said in pieces. They offered to lead the four to the Atlantica castle and Ursula's lair. Upon swimming for a half-hour, they arrived at a fork in the sea with a hand painted sign with horrible hand writing and black ink. The sign pointing left said "The Magical Kingdom of Atlantica." The one pointing right said "DO NOT GO THIS WAY! URSULA'S LAIR THIS WAY! DANGER! DANGER!" For this reason, they split into two groups. Flotsam led Xaldin and Auron to Ursula while Jetsam took Demyx and Larxene to meet the king, and to steal the Trident.

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Demyx and Larxene were beginning to think that the scariest job wasn't always the scariest job.

Atlantica was a bustling kingdom full of happy mermaids and mermen who were smiling and chatting with each other and a few stray fishes. Looming over this mini metropolis was the castle of Atlantica where the king and his many daughters resided. Flotsam had informed them on three important information bites. The first one was that he wasn't going to be able to stick around with them because everyone knew that he was Ursula's crony. The second one was that a big scene would have to be made to get that trident, and they would have to teleport to escape properly.

And third, they would have to sing.

"For the record, Demyx, you can never say that I have never taken one for the team." Larxene said, with a disturbed expression. "Either the rest of the mer-sluts have their clams on too tight, or the mermen have been left to a hollow existence because I can not see any—"

Demyx put his hand over her mouth. "Larxy! If you say something like that, they'll definitely know something's wrong with us!"

"Larxy? What is wrong with you?"

"Never mind, let's just get this over with. Even I'm getting the creeps."

They swam further away from the underwater Stepford and got to the main hall of the castle. With each paddle in, they could hear the echoes of singers and instruments, maybe a three or four voices and the shouting of a maestro. Larxene had a feeling that Demyx would be right at home in this world. Maneuvering through the halls, they got to the source of the music. There were a few fish and an octopus (obviously a cheery happy non-demented octopus) playing drums and saxophones while a bright red crustacean was shouting orders in a thick Caribbean accent. The trio of singers were hovering in giant shells and singing their hearts out with ridiculous smiles. Demyx shuddered.

"I'm beginning to think I wish I was the octopus," he gulped, then shouted to the crab "Hey there! How can we get in on the singing?"

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Xaldin and Auron were getting bored. Very bored.

This lair was filled with the souls of hundred, leading into a potion room. There were bottles upon bottles and untidy stacks of tomes on the ground. And now, this overweight woman with tentacles and thinning white hair was singing about the poor and unfortunate souls that were going to feel the wrath of this colossal sea monster.

Xaldin wasn't looking so well. His hands and new appendages were twitching in anger and he was muttering under his breath. Auron had asked him what's wrong, and got this as an answer: "I freaking hate singing. With every bone in my body, I hate singing. Music is fine, just fine, but ridiculous musical numbers just make me want to kill something. Sorry, not you."

The witch had ceased her song and began to fumble with a few bottle and took a paper from the hoard. She remained humming the whole time, which calmed the lancer down, a little. Auron wasn't having the time of his life either, but there wasn't really a perfect moment on this journey yet. Maybe there was a way to trick her into giving them some good information.

"So…Ursula, how do we know you're really going to revive Leviathan?"

"What, do I seem like a liar to you?" she asked in a husky voice.

"No, it's just…we need to trust you completely. How about you rehearse the spell, just so we know you aren't a liar?" It took a while for Xaldin to catch on, and eventually nodded his head in agreement. Playing double agent was getting very interesting.

She crossed her arms and huffed at them. "Fine, but only to keep you on my side." She opened the paper wad and cleared her throat, and ruptured the water with her booming voice.

"Set upon the sapphire sea,

bring Hell on earth to your waters!

And with each fatal tide

become one with the sea and its new master!

Leviathan!"

After finishing the spell, Auron smirked and eyed Xaldin. "We appreciate the fact we can trust you," the octo-dragoon said "but we need to check on our other friends. They're not the brightest sunfishes in the sea, so if you wouldn't mind—"

"Oh, I wouldn't mind," she replied. "Jetsam, escort them to the Atlantica palace."

So there wasn't going to be an easy getaway. Well, they'd just have to work with that. At least the spell was easy to memorize. The only problem would be feeding it to Demyx, who still couldn't spell to save his life.
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"Under the sea

Under the sea

When the sardine

Begin the beguine

It's music to me!"

They were both getting the hang of this routine, Demyx more than Larxene. He took the role as the only male vocal so that the crab named Sebastian would stop singing the lyrics with his thick accent. Hell, even Larxene got over the fact that everything was freaky and was having a good time. As much as it pained him to say this, for once in her life she looked pretty. She'd have his head if he said it out loud, but her golden locks floating, and her swerving hips…gah! He'd die, he'd die, he'd die! Not that he had any real attachments, just looks…stop it, stop it, stop it, he though to himself.

"What do they got? A lot of sand

We got a hot crustacean band

Each little clam here

know how to jam here

Under the sea!"

Larxene was able to make eye contact with Demyx. She signaled that they were going to hunt for that trident once they were out of this dance number. He winked in understanding.

"Each little slug here

Cuttin' a rug here

Under the sea

Each little snail here

Know how to wail here

That's why it's hotter

Under the water

Ya we in luck here

Down in the muck here

Under the sea!"

The mermaid trio had cheered the two newbies on their work, and one of them approached them. She was the more chipper and talented one, with cherry red hair like Axel's and a voice like an angel. She was the one the others called Ariel, and she plainly freaked the living hell out of Larxene for saying everything was 'finny fun.'

"Demyx, Larxene, are you going to stay for another song?" she naively asked.

"No, but we thank you for the offer!" the nymph said in a oh-so-obviously mocking voice. She grabbed Demyx by the ear lobe and dragged him closer to her. "We have to go find our friends on the other side of the sea, right Demyx?"

"Y-yeah," he muttered.

"Okay then, good luck on finding you friends and have a great time in the sea!" Ariel waved, then swam back to the maestro shellfish to conduct the next song. Larxene made an evil grin and headed back to the main hall, the summoner's ear still in her grasp.

"I'm beginning to see why this witch wants to wipe these guys out," she said.

They had snooped in every room along the rocky corridor from the kitchen to the rooms of the daughters and were left to search the last one: the throne room. And lo and behold, the golden fork was leaning against a coral throne adorned with aquamarine gems. Larxene made a lip-licking motion and snatched the Trident from its place. Demyx was watching the rest of the room, thinking someone would come in and strangle them. Luckily, he made out the shape of another merman in the distance, and the silhouette of a tentacled lancer.

"I wouldn't have guessed that it would be that easy to get this thing," Auron commented at the location of the weapon.

"Easy? You think sitting through countless musical numbers with zombie mer-sluts is easy?" Larxene shouted at the swordsman. "Where's the spell? Where's your work? Where's your trial and tribulation?"

"Don't worry, we have the spell," Xaldin assured "and we've heard our fair share of…music."

"Yeah, but we still have a problem."

Everyone looked towards Demyx, who was pointing behind them. There was a muscular man with ghost white hair and a very angry look on his face. And next to him were his three daughters and Sebastian the crab.

"Oh…crap."

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"Why didn't you tell us earlier that we were going to have to make a run for it?" Auron yelled at Demyx. They were now swimming as fast as their fins could take them from the angry mob of mermaids, mermen, sea creatures, and last but not least, a fat octopus witch and her two eel henchmen. They had better days.

"I thought it was going to be a clean getaway!" Demyx whined. "We'll summon Lexicon in the ship, just keep swimming!"

Auron didn't even bother to correct the nocturne. They were really that screwed.

"Hehe, I've got an idea!" Larxene cheered and pulled three kunai from who-knows-where. "They'll shock on impact so if you feel a little buzz, at least our asses are safe!" She threw them directly behind her and they hit two men on the front lines and one swerved to burn Jetsam to a crisp.

The Falcon Peak was finally in view and they had packed themselves into the loading dock. The furious fish race was pounding on the windows and the doors, but without the trident or a decent spell the four were safe and had magically transformed out of their aquatic outfits.

"Note to self: never listen to Demyx's plans again," Xaldin panted as he turned on the engine and used the window wipers to swipe the screaming crab off.

"Don't worry, I don't think it could get much worse than this," Auron said, shifting the ship into gear and making it soar out of the ocean and back into the starry sky.

The rest of the mer-people below had ceased their shouting. A small fish with bright yellow and blue stripes and a chubby build had poked his head out of the crowd. "Hm…at least something got solved," he nonchalantly said.

"What could have been solved here, Flounder?" Ariel asked with shock on her face.

"We're all in harmony with Ursula because we don't want to kill her anymore, but those guys that stole the Trident and the spell."

"Oh…I guess that makes sense."

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On the Falcon Peak, hours later:

"Set upon the sapphire sea,"

"Set upon the sapphire sea,"

"Bring Hell on earth to your waters,"

"Bring Help on earth to your—"

"Hell on earth, Hell!"

"Bring Hell on earth to your waters,"

"And with each fatal tide,"

"And with each ladle tide,"

"Fatal!"

"Fatal tide—"

"Start over again!"

"Set upon the Hillshire sea,"

"That's it Demyx, we're fixing this tomorrow! I can't do this any more!"

"Wait, but Auron!"

"Tomorrow!"

"…fine. If Liberation would have saved us tonight I'm blaming you fro our deaths!"

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Wow. That was random. Don't flame me for this, it will get better in…

Chapter 6: Rum, Fire, and Blitzball

The gang has ventured to the land of pirates and Shanghai whores, Port Royal! They hear from locals about a mysterious ghost whose songs draw sailors to their deaths, and now they have to commandeer another ship to sail to it (like they haven't jacked a ship before). But not long after that, they'll be attacked by a gang of pirates! But there are two problems with these pirates. One is the name of the crew, The Aurochs. The other is this captain, who is someone we might have memorized a little too well…