Chapter 5

For the rest of the week, we slept the same way. After it happened the first night, we both thought I was fine. And the next day, I laid my head down on my pillow, and closed my eyes, accepting the fact that he wasn't coming again. It was already one in the morning, and surely Milah would notice if he got up in the middle of the night and never came back. I tried as hard as I could to push back my emotions. I didn't know if I could handle his pity sleepover again. Willing my tears to stay inside my eyes wasn't enough however and my eyes welled up with emotion and sorrow and dripped heavily and slowly down my cheeks. I had hoped so hard with my brain, the ration side of myself, that he wouldn't come. My heart, in turn, had decided not to listen and was begging for Killian to come home. Staying as quiet as possible, I finally let the tears run their course, and after a few minutes, I rationed that he wasn't coming, and just as I decided to find a more comfortable sleeping position, the sheets lifted over me and a warm body slid in behind me. That night, I had let out a long sigh, trying to convey to him that I didn't need his comfort. Instead of believing my annoyed sigh, he simply pulled me closer to him, and tucked me gently into his arms, comforting me in an instant.

After the first few days, I realized that this would continue to happen. I couldn't sleep without Killian, so in turn, because of our connected darkness, he couldn't sleep either. We didn't speak during the day, avoiding each other as much as possible. Him, when he saw me with my family, and me, when I saw him with Milah. Somehow, in the weeks following our breakup, I had gone from his girlfriend to his ex to somehow his mistress? I'm sure Milah wouldn't be thrilled to learn that her boyfriend was spending his nights in my bed, no matter how much he made it clear to both of us how done we in fact, were.

At night, we were just Killian and Emma. Two broken people who somehow found solace with each other. No matter how ashamed at myself that I was, I was still incredibly grateful to have this time with him. Nights were my only time of peace. No kisses had been exchanged, yet his arms around me was enough for now. He was always gone in the morning, but his goodbye forehead kisses gave me the strength to face the upcoming day.

Lying in bed now , I can feel his body behind mine. This is the first time he has stayed the night until morning. The sunlight is shining warmly on my face, the winter being erased by its bright rays. Just as I shift, to get up and start my day, his arms tighten around my waist, pulling me closer to him, preventing me from leaving.

"Killian, I have to get ready for work" I say, with a growing smile on my face. His growing clinglyness making me happy.

Choosing to ignore my words, he simply squeezes me tighter and buries his face in my neck. This causes me to relent my decision to get up, if only for a couple seconds, and I choose instead to enjoy his affection. Warm, wet kisses are slowly being placed on my neck. All thoughts of leaving fly out the window, and my back arches against his growing erection, as I try to get as close to him as possible.

He groans loudly when my ass hits his growing manhood. He bites down on my neck, sucking possessively, while no doubt leaving a large and apparent mark. His hands then proceed to travel down the length of my body, stopping at the edge of my underwear. His fingers tease the material, and slowly reach under the fabric and find their goal.

I gasp out loud at the sensation. I'm already sopping wet and hot. His fingers only add to my growing pleasure. His fingers continue their path downward, and one dips into my core.

"So wet Emma" he gasps heavily in my ear.

The only thing I can do at this point is not. Words refusing to escape my throat. My body so focused on pleasure that it can't focus on anything else.

His sticky fingers travel to my clit, rubbing soft and quick circles. His body is grinding into mine. My arms linked around his neck, my fingers carding through the soft hair at his scalp.

I don't know how much more we can take, his grinding is growing harder, and the urge for me to rip his boxers, and just let him take me, is ever growing. We never got this far when we were actually together, both of us wanting to take our time with each other, knowing that our relationship could be the last one we would both be in. How ironic that now that we were supposed to be sworn enemies, we couldn't take our hands off each other. We both knew that as soon as we started, we would never be able to stop. And our intense make out session was proving this point.

Making up my mind, I ask him one question that I know will change everything, forever.

"Make love to me?" I ask breathlessly.

His response is immediate. He unhooks my arms from around his neck, and in a split second, he turns us over, so that I am laying on my back. For the first time this morning, we make eye contact. For a few seconds in time, we can't stop staring at each other. His eyes are reading mine in a way that they always have. They do say that eyes are the windows to our souls, and his eyes certainly are trying to find mine.

I can't take the intensity of it all, and I pull his head down for a kiss. This kiss is greedy. This kiss is soft. Two things that don't go together, but somehow, manage to compliment each other in our kiss. I take the lead this time, hooking my legs around his waist, and attempt to use my feet to push his boxers down. He gets the hint very quickly and pulls my underwear down my thighs as well. They get stuck somewhere in the middle of my thighs, and laughs escape both of us as we tug desperately to get the fabric free. The moment that had turned from serious to light in a matter of seconds, just as soon changes back to serious.

Both of us are breathing heavily at this point, keeping constant eye-contact. Killian has a look of awe on his face, probably the same one I have on mine. Reaching down, he hooks my thighs around his hips and lines himself up.

Before he can push in; however, he opens and closes his mouth a few times, seemingly contemplating the words he wants to say.

"I love—" he begins to say before I cut him off.

"Shh, don't say anything. Not now. Not when you're not certain."

He shakes his head sadly.

"Not certain?" he says in a soft voice.

My eyes drift down to his chin, not able to keep eye contact. I swear this man has seen far too much of my insecurities. More than anyone had ever in the past.

His fingers lift up the corner of my chin, forcing me to look him in his eyes.

"Always certain, love. Always" is all he says, and then he begins to move.

He pushes his hips forward. The head of his erection pushing inside of me. It's been a while, and I'm tight. The aftermath of my sex life being on hold for the last year. Besides, Walsh was small. Smaller than I liked. And already I could feel Killian touching areas that hadn't been touched in a while, and a small wince crosses my face.

I feel him halting his motions, trying to make it easier for me. His hips stop, and he gives me time to adjust.

"I'm so sorry sweetheart" he whispers, tucking a strand of blonde hair behind my ear.

After a few moments, the pain dulls, my bodily readily adjusting to him. I give him a signal to keep going, and rest my hands lightly on his shoulders. He starts to move slowly now, almost fully inside me. The pain now forgotten as I feel him fill me completely.

Our bodies seem to perfectly match. I can feel him trying to still his hips and give me time. He is moaning softly in my ear, all his concentration going into halting his movements. I smile at this. His patients and care coming across clearly to me. So, I decide to give him permission.

"Baby," I sigh loudly into his ear, "please move, I'm okay really." I try and reassure him. I press a quick peck to his lips, soothing him further.

At these words, his control seems to snap and he begins to rock harder and harder into my body. We are both moaning loudly, our cries ringing in the air around us. Our bodies are merging as one, just as every other aspect of ourselves had.

As our climaxes build together, I know I'm going to fall hard and quickly, and It scares me. I begin to tremble in his arms, hiding my face in his neck and latching onto his earlobe, sucking softly. He, in turn, can feel my climax beginning, and hauls me up into his arms, with me now on top.

I now sit in his lap, his arms gripping my waist, and lifting me gently up and down his cock. Sweat now plasters both of our foreheads, and he gently pushes the damp hair out of my eyes in a sweet gesture. Even in the midst of pleasure, he puts my needs before his own. The pleasure builds rapidly now at the new angle and added intimacy. A low sob of pleasure escapes my throat, and I can tell that we are both at the end of our threads.

I need something else; however, to get there. And because he can read me like an open book, he guides his hand down to my clit and rubs hard circles. The pleasure shoots through my body. Molten heat rushing through my limbs. My head bends back and my spine becomes a crooked line as my orgasm overtakes me. I take him with me apparently, as I feel him shake seconds after my orgasm ends. Hot liquid shoots inside of me over and over again as I milk him dry. Thoughts of birth control far from my mind. I can only focus on the man still inside of me. I snake my hands through his hair, massaging his scalp the way I know he likes. Both of us are coming down now, yet we are not quite ready to separate.

He pulls up my white blanket around us, encasing us in a warm and intimate huddle. We both reach for each other at the same time and our lips meet in a slow, wet kiss. This kiss is anything but lustful, and it screams love. And after breaking the kiss, I reach my hands around him and just simply pull him into a hug. Just being around him puts me at ease.

Our hug seems to go on for hours, his fingers stroking up and down my back in an intimate gesture. I, in turn, can't stop laying soft kisses to his right shoulder and to his neck. But after a few minutes, we know we have to actually start getting ready for the day, and we break apart at the same time. He gets up first, reaching down to get his underwear off the floor, and I lay down flat on my back, my hair spreading out across my pillow.

After getting on all of his clothes, and picking up his "talking phone" as he calls it from my desk top, he is ready to go. He walks slowly to the edge of the bed, and kneels down at its side. I turn to face him, my face showing all the sorrow and uncertainness I feel after our powerful encounter. What I see when I turn around. takes me off guard. Killian seems just as lost as I am. As torn as I am. But nevertheless, he closes his eyes and rest his forehead against mine. He then presses a long kiss to my hairline, saying both thank you, I love you, and goodbye at the same time. He then turns around and walks to the door, closing it with a light thud, leaving me completely alone to my thoughts.

Please please review! I greatly appreciated the comments from last time. I want to know what you guys want to happen, and what you've enjoyed in the last few chapters! Thank you loves!