Chapter 8

The last few days have been weird…

Just saying that Killian and I were friends was weird. We were never just friends and we both knew it. There was always, always something brewing in the background, even when we swore to be mortal enemies after I turned on him and he chose to work with Cora. Lately, it has been the same way it always has, even if we were giving "slow" a try.

The chemistry was still undeniable. After long days spent together doing various things like paperwork at the station or watching a movie curled on the couch, we would sometimes forget the concept of just friends. We never took it far. Playing footsie under the blanket while my son cluelessly watched the movie alongside us was hardly what I would call innaproptiate behavior. It was like we were 12 again, and honestly I found nothing wrong with it.

We both had messed up so much in the past year that it was our job now to prove to each other that we really wanted to be together, even if that meant taking a break in our relationship.

Tonight was like every other night for the past few weeks. It was a night I was taking to enjoy time with family and friends. Munching down a bite of my burger, I look up and make eye contact with my mother. She is smiling widely at me, staring too intently into my eyes. I give her an uncomftorable look, not quite controlling a smile aimed in her direction. She leans in slowly, looking around us, making sure none is listening.

"What?" I ask, totally unaware of what has gotten her suddenly so interested.

"You look happy," she smiles and winks at me.

A blush comes over my face and my smile gets wider.

"I am," I say, knowing a series of questions is coming my way, "and before you ask, I am trying to keep my happiness a secret for now. We decided to take it slow and we want to keep our friendship a secret for now"

Mary Margaret gives me a knowing look.

"Just as long as my little girl is happy" she beams.

I simply nod and grab one of her hands and squeeze it. Just then a bell rings in the diner, I turn my eyes to the door. Just as I had hoped, it was Killian; however, he wasn't alone. In toe was Milah, holding on to his arm possessively. He looks irritated and begins to walk faster. When we catch eyes, I give him a shy smile, not quite knowing how to act in front of him while Milah is around.

I won't lie and say her presence didn't intimidated and somewhat anger me, but she was still a person and I hope to maintain the high ground between us. We are both adults and both headstrong woman and to fight would be beneath both of us.

So, in a gesture of solidarity, I smile at her too. She seems rather taken back with my smile, and she looks down at the floor, casting a frown at it. I think I must have caught her off guard. The woman seemed like she wasn't use to people treating her with kindness. I knew the feeling, and I didn't want to be another person who did that to her.

When the two of them get to our table, Mary Margaret scoots over and signals for Milah to take a seat next to her. She squeezes my hand under the table, showing me just how calculated that move really was. Killian, in turn, sits on my side, and his hand immediately rests high on my thigh.

The four of us begin to talk, going over each one of our days. Milah is funny. I almost haven't laughed this much in years as she tells us about how she is adjusting to 21st century. She complains mostly about the "moving boxes" which she feels she spends most of her days avoiding getting run over by. The whole table is in a fit of giggles at the end of her stories, and I can finally see what Killian sees in her. Not only is she incredibly beautiful, but she is funny, and from the looks of it, kind too. I felt a sense of remorse for hating her so vehemently when she first came back, even if I was the one who brought her back in the first place. What a mistake that turned out to be. Memories of my quest to turn my heart numb, long gone and replaced with a quest to fill my heart with love.

As the hours get longer and the conversations grower shorter and more dry, we all realize that it is time to call it a night. Mary Margaret is the first one to leave, getting up from the booth and giving me and Killian a hug. She simply smiles at Milah, showing her support for me and compassion for her at the same time.

I am more grateful for my mother than ever. I wish her well and promise to meet her for breakfast tomorrow, along with Henry. She leaves then, giving me one last hug.

As soon as my mother is out of Grannys, the awkwardness kicks in. My instinct to run from bad situations kicks in full force and I bend down and retrieve my bag from my seat. I look up to Killian, communicating and apologizing to him silently. He clears his throat and scratches behind his ear, showing me that he is just as uncomftorable with this situation as I am.

Surprisingly it is Milah who speaks up first.

"Well I should be going" she says, reaching out to hug me first. As soon as her hands are around me, I feel coldness. The warmth is gone from before, almost so quickly, that I feel like I have whiplash. I let go of her quickly, giving her a confused look. She doesn't return my look, instead choosing to go over to Killian.

Milah then goes on to hug Killian. She reaches her hands around his neck, plastering her whole body against his. She proceeds to lay a wet kiss on his cheek, loud enough for me to both see and hear it. She pulls back after a long second, giving us one more look before she saunters over to the door, closing it firmly behind her.

Finally we are alone; however, I don't know anymore if that is a good thing anymore. There is almost nothing to say after that little display of affection. I am more confused then ever about those two and the nature of their relationship. One second I think they are just two old friends and the next minute I think Milah is going to rip off his clothes and have her way with him right in front of me. The latter thought disturbs me to my core and I have to control the bile that climbs up my throat.

Not being able to take the silence any longer, I make my way slowly to the door his ex-girlfriend just left out of. He grabs my arm softly just as I am about to leave. He can tell something is wrong.

"There is nothing going on Emma. I promise you love".

He looks into my eyes pleadingly. I can tell that he is not lying. I decide to cut him some slack; to see the good in him.

"Okay," I say softly and simply, not knowing if I actually believe him or not.

He smiles at me in return, grabbing my hand and guiding me through the door.

We make our way back to my house in silence arm and arm with our fingers interlaced.

It is a beautiful and warm night and we take time to enjoy it while we walk slowly. My anger and confusion slowly melt as the walk goes on. His presence soothing me.

As we get closer to the house, our bodies seem to shift closer to each other. Stopping in front of my door, we reluctantly break our fingers apart. I reach up to hug him. I hug him around the waist softly, not wanting to force him into it. He surprises me, tightening my hold on him. We hug for what seems like hours with both us not wanting to let go. His arms travel up and down my back and eventually make their way into my hair. My fingers travel to his neck, playing with the his midnight hair.

He tips my head up towards his, and in a slow and calculated move, he slants his lips over mine. The kiss builds softly. Both of us let out sighs of contentment. And after a few minutes of making out, his control seems to snap and he reaches under me and hoist my legs around his waist. I let out a small moan, both surprised and incredibly turned on by his action.

The kiss is getting out of hand now. We are in public on the deck of my house and I am straddling his waist. I break the kiss reluctantly.

"We should stop," I say, already regretting my better judgment.

He doesn't even answer, his lips too occupied with leaving marks on my neck. I pull at his hair harder, trying to force his lips up. He simply bites down harder on my throat and presses his hips into mine. A loud mewl comes from one of us. And at this moment, I'm not quite sure from who.

"Baby, please" he begs, finally detaching his lips from my skin.

I am broken out of my lustful haze as I register his request. I smile at him, stroking his ear softly. I know exactly what he wants. I want the same thing.

"We can't," I say softly, "Henry is upstairs"

There is nothing, nothing I want more than to be connected to him in the most intimate way again, but my needs don't outweigh scarring my son for the rest of his life with our loud lovemaking.

He sets me down at the mention of my son. His respect and affection for my son never ceasing to amaze me. I step out of his arms mournfully, already missing the warmth.

I make my way over to the door but turn back once more to say a final goodbye.

His eyes are already on mine, and we both break at once. I come running towards him and he grabs my face with his big hands. Out lips connect in a hard, but chaste kiss. He is the one to break away this time, but before he does, he presses a long kiss to the top of my forehead.

"Goodnight Killian"

"Goodnight Emma"

I close the door behind me and lean on it for support. Much like the end of our first date, I am at a loss for words. Happiness and love radiate from inside me. I can't stop the wide smile that crosses my face. That smile staying on my face as I get ready for bed, and finally when I slip under the covers.

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The smile only gets wider when I hear a loud pang coming from my phone and check my incoming message.

Killian

Soon.