She'd spent a decent amount of time patching up both Buffy and Faith after their tousle and was paid for her efforts in explanations she didn't ask for.

They said it like it was nothing. Like it didn't sound entirely ridiculous. Like they weren't surprised at her disbelief and had expected questions, of which she had many on the tip of her tongue.

Wariness, uncertainty, and a sudden concern that she'd placed her bets on the wrong horse worried at her mind.

Maybe this horse was delusional. Maybe it was one step away from needing a straight jacket and enough Xanax to drug it into a stupor.

They seemed to expect this though, from years of forced explanations to the uninitiated perhaps, because when the disbelieving expression on her face didn't fade Buffy left the room and returned with a crowbar. Bent it in half and tied it in a knot without breaking a sweat.

There wasn't much you could argue with after seeing that.

It was shocking at first but then again, what wasn't anymore? Didn't the dead walk the earth already? Of all the impossible things she'd seen, this was at the top of the list but the days of it being entirely unreasonable were long past them and so the urge to lay five hundred questions on them faded and she only nodded.

"Well, ok then. You sure you even need these stitches?"

Faith shrugged. "Technically no, but the deep ones'll scar something awful if they aren't closed up. I got enough of those."

"I thought you said scars bring all the boys to the yard."

Buffy's comment sent a snort through Faith. "You see any boys here? Our yard is filled with other women. No one left to impressed unless you count Xander and I already hooked that one."

"I'll be sure to tell him you said so."

Faith hopped off the table, shrugging back on her jacket and making for the door. "You better. We could all kick the bucket tomorrow, might take him for another ride soon."

"You're the actual worst…"

Buffy's comment trailed after Faith but she was already gone, leaving Carol to look quizzically at her as if she were trying to see right through her skin. Caught herself and made an effort to look away.

"Sorry."

"It's ok. It's a lot. I know we make light of it but it's been our lives for a long time now. For you, it's brand new."

She was about to respond but Buffy continued before she could begin.

"I want you to know you're safe here. We wouldn't…we would never use this against you, or anyone from your group. You're part of this screwed up little family now. I hope that knowing this…that it doesn't make you regret staying."

Carol pondered this a moment. She hadn't been thinking anything of the sort. The idea of Buffy and the girls turning on her was something she couldn't fathom. She did feel safe here, even in spite of this new information. Maybe even more so because of it. When the vast majority of people left alive were probably trying to kill you what better place to be than surrounded by friends who could turn crowbars into pretzels.

She wondered though why Buffy felt the need to reassure her in such an obvious way. Was tempted to ask. To poke and pry and see if she'd reveal the real reason but decided it wouldn't be fair. She had already shared so much.

"I don't regret it and I'm glad you told me." She paused a moment, a smirk playing on her lips. "Next time I need a jar opened I'll stop sliding it over to Xander and give it to one of you instead."

The amusement that graced Buffy's face was genuine. "He really got a kick out of that. I swear he smiled for hours after you gave him that pickle jar."

"He got it open too! Wouldn't pop even after I hit the lid on the floor ten times. My hero."

"Too far. Too far. Don't let him hear you say that, we'll never get the grin off his face."

Carol huffed a laughed and stepped back, leaning her full weight against the window and regarding Buffy in a more serious manner. "This isn't the first time something like this" She gestured around her, trying to encompass the whole of their lives now. "Has happened is it?"

She wasn't entirely sure what she was even asking. Clearly the earth hadn't been overrun by walkers before, but there had been something in Buffy, in the others, that she noticed early on. Could never quite put her finger on what it was but now she thought she had it pegged.

Remembered back to when she first arrived and assumed they were weak because everyone was so relaxed and unconcerned. Saw annoyed acceptance in them at what life had become and thought them unprepared or foolish.

Now, she saw those same traits better explained by experience instead of naivety. They'd done this before in some form or another.

Buffy shook her head, her own expression sober again. "Nope. We're up to apocalypse twelve now. If we count the one where we all almost ended up in a Hell of the shrimp variety. This one seems to be sticking a lot harder than the others though. I'll give it that."

Twelve times the world almost ended. What was she supposed to do with that information? How could she even reconcile it with what she herself knew to be true.

"And it's always just been you? Stopping it?"

Buffy considered this a moment, a thoughtful look on her face. "It's never been just me. At one point I was the only slayer, which is a long story in itself, but I've never really had to do this alone. If you'd asked me that years ago I'd have said yes, that it was me against the world and the others were a much loved burden that I needed to keep saving, but looking back now…I'd have been long dead without them, even before any of this started."

Carol nodded, accepting the answer and added another question without even fully thinking it through. "How do you keep going when it seems so hopeless? Wow, that's depressing, forget I ever asked that." She waved off her last question but Buffy only managed a sad half smile and responded anyway.

"I'd be lying if I said I didn't still ask myself that on a semi regular basis. But, I guess…you just do. There's only one other option and I'm not in any hurry to end up in some strange version of Shrimp Hell." She hopped down from the table she'd been perched on. "Anyway, we still have work to do, right? If we didn't we'd all be dust by now."

The conversation seemed to come to a natural end and Buffy left her in the medical bay with instructions to take a few days off unless someone lost a limb in the near future. That she needed it. That it had been a tough day.

And it had. First the mass exodus earlier and now this, all rolled up into the same twenty fours and she felt like all she wanted to do was sleep away the stress of it but knew the moment her head hit the pillow she'd be wide awake again. Not with thoughts of super powered women and multi part apocalypses, but with thoughts of him.

She had done the right thing, knew it in her heart but that didn't change the fact that she already missed him and it had barely been a full day. Already wished she could go after him and drag him back.

Especially now that she knew the horse she'd bet on was the clear winner. They all would have been safer here even with everything Alexandria offered. Carol had seen the people there and while sweet and kind they reeked of being sheltered and should a threat persist they'd be woefully unprepared.

They all should have stayed. He should have stayed.

It had been six days since he arrived in Alexandria and Daryl was already coming out of his own skin with restlessness. This place was every suburban nightmare he'd expected it would be and then some. Not that he didn't appreciate the way things had settled. He did. It was safe as it appeared, at least for now, and while the people were less than capable there was a lot of them and they were welcoming.

He'd spent spaghetti Tuesday with Aaron and his partner, slopping up the noodles like he hadn't eaten in a week even though he was far from starved. Avoided the welcome party like the plague now that he didn't have anyone to put all his energy into not gazing at, no easy camaraderie with the others to fall back on while they discussed random things like cheese and carpentry and who the fuck found twinkle lights.

No, parties remained not his thing even more than ever now. Didn't even feel bad about ditching.

He was sitting on the stoop of the house he shared with Rick and Michonne and several of the others, smoking the last few cigarettes from the last pack he had while pondering the morning's events.

Aaron had requested his presence and offered him up a shiny new bike in exchange for his help in recruiting. This new place was all about finding more people and bringing them back. All about trying to save whatever was left of humanity out there when they could barely take care of themselves in here. Had only gotten lucky with where they'd ended up location wise and been milking it for all it was worth.

It was an innocent type of stupidity, he thought. Trying to do a good thing and failing to realize that so many of those leftover couldn't be trusted. Would take advantage no matter how well you stalked them beforehand to make sure they weren't the type to gut you when you turned your back.

It wasn't safe. Wasn't something he would have agreed to in the first place if he wasn't completely bored out of his skull amidst the housewives in floral sweaters and kids with dogs. If he didn't do something, anything, to distract himself from thoughts of her, because that was all his brain wanted to conjure up lately, he'd be in a worse state soon enough than he already was.

Spending his days thinking of her had all but consumed him already and it had barely been a week.

He'd wonder what she was doing when he woke up, while he showered and brushed his teeth like a civilized citizen.

Wonder if she was patching someone up or setting a broken bone while he was puttering through the neighborhood taking random tasks to keep busy.

Wonder if she was safe while he stood watch in the tower.

Wonder if she was happy when he finally laid his head on a pillow for the night.

At the rate he was going he had half a mind to leave for a hunt every day he was able just to focus on something that didn't involve a woman he could never have. So when Aaron suggested he help with recruiting, offered him a bike and some sort of purpose he latched onto it faster than he'd expected too. Ignored the protests in the back of his brain about how wrong it was to spend his time scoping out the general public and trying to lure them back like some sort of well intentioned stalker.

He'd probably get a bullet to the brain on one of these missions from someone that thought it was a bullshit attempt to drag them away to slaughter.

Still, maybe he wouldn't. And it was better than holding up here behind the walls like he had nothing better to do than mope.

Aaron seemed nice enough, a nosey bastard in all the ways he tried to poke and prod into his life during dinner the other night, but nice enough all the same. He could do with spending some time with him, could more than handle the separation from the people he came here with.

Rick and the others were assimilating far faster than he was, though he hadn't expected much different. They wanted this after all. Even if a few were hesitant at first, they had come here thinking it held promise for the future and put all their energy into making it work.

He was the one holding onto the past with a grip so tight it threatened to leave a mark. Probably already had.

He dropped the last remnant of the cigarette to the ground and snuffed it out with the worn toe of his boot. Standing to meet the object of his thoughts. Well, one of them anyway.

Aaron was approaching him at a quick pace, practically bouncing with excitement about their first outing which would be today. He didn't want to waste time. Wanted to get out there and start looking again soon as possible and Daryl was grateful for the distraction.

"You ready to hit the road?"

His voice reached Daryl several feet before the man himself did and he could only nod and mumble his agreement.

"Good, good. I've got an idea of where we can start. Been following someone about twenty miles west for a few weeks now. Could be a good time to try and bring him back."

Daryl cocked an eyebrow at him. "You know you sound like you need a restraining order when you say shit like that, right?"

Aaron laughed. "I've been told as much, yes. Hard habit to break, I guess."

Less than an hour later they were heading west, and twenty minutes after that they were trekking through the woods in an attempt to be both stealthy and stalkery at the same time. Heading for the general vicinity of where Aaron had seen this other person the last time he was out searching.

Daryl winced as Aaron spoke through the silence at a volume that was several decibels above what was required. Not for the first time wondering to himself how the hell he'd been able to follow Rick and the others without being spotted since he very clearly had trouble with the silence part of this mission.

"How are you liking it so far? In Alexandria?"

Daryl grunted. "It's all right."

"I hope you don't think I'm overstepping, but you seem…distant. I don't know you well enough yet to know if that's your general demeanor or if you're feeling some sort of way about something, but…"

"Sorta overstepping."

He heard Aaron sigh after he cut him off. Thought maybe he'd stopped this poor excuse for a conversation before it even started and was on his way to feeling relieved about it when the questions came back full force.

"I just wanted to say that if you wanna talk about it, I'm a fairly good listener most of the time."

Jesus christ, this guy didn't quit. Daryl scowled and tried to keep the heat from running up his neck at the thought of someone noticing he was distant and then actually trying to have a discussion with him about his feelings. He didn't do discussions about feelings. He barely did discussions on mundane subjects.

"Ok, well offer stands if you change your mind. You know we're having a thing at the house next week, you should come. There's gonna be more than a few ladies there and it might be a chance to mingle some."

Daryl was tempted to take a bolt from his quiver and shove it through his own skull just to get away from this conversation.

"Ain't lookin to mingle with anyone, already got…"

He caught himself before he could finish that land mine of a sentence. Didn't know what the fuck he was even thinking letting it slip out much as it had. Didn't know what he meant by it anyway.

All ready got someone.

The words attempted to tumble from his lips as easily as he exhaled a breath. He was unconsciously sure of it in that moment. That he had someone.

Did he though? Was that true anymore, or was it ever true to begin with? What were they to each other now that an hour's drive separated them along with a hundred other things?

"Oh, I didn't realize. Who is it? If you don't mind me asking."

He did mind him asking but it seemed pointless to say so now because Aaron wasn't the type to take a hint, or he was, but for whatever reason was choosing to ignore them all today.

"She ain't here."

"Oh. I'm sorry. I know how hard it can be to loose someone."

Daryl spun on his heels, turning to face Aaron in disgruntled frustration. "She ain't dead. She's just not here. Didn't come with us."

"Oh." Aaron's face went from confused to understanding in a split second. "Oh, I see now."

He threw a knowing smile at Daryl that he wasn't sure how to interpret. "Where there's life there's still hope. Something tells me you'll see her again."

Daryl huffed in response. This whole discussion was way beyond anything he ever wanted to have with anyone, let alone some guy he just met a week before. "Can we just focus on what we came out here for?" Aaron nodded. "And keep your voice down, gonna scare away anything with a heartbeat."

They spent the next few hours in relative silence, traipsing through the wooded brush and coming up empty for their efforts. Thoughts of Carol filled his head with every footstep. The fact that he was still hopelessly locked on her while doing an activity he only agreed on to distract himself was not lost on him.