Author's Note:

Hello again, readers! (If you are, in fact, reading this. If you aren't, then... oh well.)

Disclaimers: RWBY belongs to Rooster Teeth, Lancer (and, by proxy, Fate/Stay Night) belongs to Type/Moon, the Sisters belong Kazuma Kamachi, and Milly Ashford belongs to the company that made Code Geass (I think it might be SHAFT?).

Drunken Fist

Who's Idea Was That, Anyway?

"We're out of vegetables," Milly said. She stood and shut the refrigerator door. "Is there a town coming up soon?"

"Don't care," replied Lancer, focusing pointedly on the road. They had finally departed the desert earlier that morning, which was fortunate, because a desert view can wear on the nerves slightly after three or five days. However, that meant that they were now navigating mountain roads, which were significantly more tricky than desert roads. "Not like we need them, anyway," he added. There. That should put an end to that problem.

"'Vegetables are an integral part of a healthy diet,' says Misaka, stating a medical fact," Misaka pointed out, lowering her magazine. Lancer frowned. The problem was not going away. It was, in fact, becoming bigger.

"No need for veggies," Lancer repeated, attempting to close the issue. Milly glared, and then opened the fridge again.

"Adam, window," she commanded. Adam craned his head around to see what she was up to, then snapped back down and began cranking the window down. Lancer had all of a split second to notice something in the corner of his eye before Milly tossed it out of the window.

"'Are you entirely certain that was legal?' asks Misaka, concerned about the possible ramifications," Misaka said.

"What was that?" Lancer asked, with a growing sense of dread. Milly wouldn't have done it, would she? On the other hand, Milly was smirking almost evilly in the rearview mirror…

"Your beer," Milly confirmed cheerfully.

This was no longer a problem. It was a catastrophe.

"Adam. GPS, now," Lancer ordered. Adam popped open the glove compartment and began to rummage through in search of the mythic direction finder. Lancer hunched over the wheel and tried to ignore Milly's snickering.

It wasn't very easy.

Within minutes of arriving at the nearest town, Lancer had grabbed Adam by the back of his coat and run off, leaving the girls to do the shopping. The Servant of the Spear had then dragged his traveling companion on a mad charge through the streets of the relatively small mountain hamlet, until they had come upon a bar. Lancer then hauled Adam inside, plopped them down at the counter, and demanded booze. Adam hadn't been too worried, until Lancer had declared himself to be "free as a moose." It went downhill from there.

"Seriously, man! What's her problem?" Lancer grumbled into his beer. Adam, seated stiffly beside him, examined the second pint of beer (out of fifteen) that Lancer had insisted on buying.

What? You want to hear about the bar? About the lighting, or the waitresses, or the atmosphere, or the customers?

Go find a movie with a bar scene. Chances are it looks kind of like that.

"I mean, what do we need veggies for? We've got fruit, right?" Lancer continued. He took another swig of beer and slammed his glass on the counter. "Fruit… It's like MAN veggies, right? We don't need no prissy little GIRL veggies!"

"I think you're becoming intoxicated," Adam replied, scanning the bar for an exit.

"I'm not drunk," Lancer grinned. "I'm just a little whatsit… Toxic somethin'. Like that." He gulped down the last of his beer, then examined the glass. "'M out."

"Is there a reason for you to get yourself drunk?" Adam asked.

"Nope, no reason. Just mad 'bout Milly and veggies," Lancer replied. He rested his chin on the counter, and exhaled. Adam rolled his eyes (well, he was wearing his trademark mask, but he very much had the air of a person rolling his eyes) and looked up at the ceiling, exasperated. Then he looked down and saw Lancer eyeing his drink.

"No, you've had enough," Adam said, lifting the pint of alcohol away from Lancer. The Servant, somewhat problematically, decided not to be deterred and leapt at him. Adam kicked off the counter and tossed the glass of beer into the air. Rolling backwards, he came up to a standing position and grabbed the falling glass out of midair. Almost as an afterthought, he stretched out his arm to allow the beer to fall back into its container.

Lancer fell in a heap where Adam had been sitting a split second earlier. He jumped to his feet and lunged again. Adam twisted to the side, allowing the Servant to once again pass him by. Lancer, however, spun and landed in a crouch, once again lunging. Adam was forced to dodge time and again, his traveling companion's overeager swipe coming far closer to his desired prize than Adam felt at all comfortable.

Lancer, it occurred to Adam, truly was dangerous when he actually tried to be.

This was demonstrated when, just as Adam attempted another last-second dodge, Lancer brought up a fist that Adam honestly hadn't been expecting and planted it directly on Adam's mouth. This of course, had the unintentional effect of sending the beer flying.

"O Noes!" shouted Lancer. Adam simply flopped to the ground while he waited for the stars to go away. The glass itself went spinning gracefully through the air, end over end, sending its payload spilling through the air in a yellow-brown arc that hung shimmering in the air. Then both fell to the ground because, as anyone with a brain can tell you, glass and beer do not fly.

Only now did Adam become aware that all the eyes in the bar were fixed on them, staring in some mixture of awe, irritation, and "meh." Adam groaned, and was glad that he was wearing a mask.

"We'll be going then," he said, forcing himself to stand and slinging Lancer over his shoulder. He turned, and walked towards the door.

"Okay," Milly said, looking through her cart, "That's everything on the list. We even got more beer for Lancer. He'd better be grateful…"

"'I am sure he will accept your apology,' Misaka replies, observing the unusual rituals of her friends," Misaka contemplated.

Milly raised an eyebrow. "Friends? I don't think we're THAT far down the road yet."

"'Really? Onee-sama told me that friends always stick together, and that they fight side by side,' Misaka wonders," Misaka said.

"That's… close," Milly admitted. "But it's not quite there. There's got to be something else. It's a… I really don't know how to explain it. You'll understand someday."

"'Okay,' says Misaka, curious," Misaka said and rustled through the groceries. "'Should we check out now?' she adds, committing the previous conversation to memory."

"Sure, let's do that," Milly smiled.

And thus, the two of them were treated to the sight, upon leaving the small store, of Adam standing in front of them as solemn as ever, with a decidedly less solemn Lancer hanging off of him lamenting the loss of his "Beer-kun."

"Huh," said Milly.

"'How did you know where we were? I thought you left before we could find a store' asks Misaka, curious."

Adam (presumably) cocked an eyebrow. "You underestimate me," he said. And he left it at that.

"Oh well, I guess we won't be on the road until Lancer sleeps that off," Milly said. "Who wants to check into a hotel room?"

"I do," Adam replied, "but that won't be possible."

"Why not?" asked Milly.

"Because you just spent all of our non-gas money."

"Oh."

There was a short pause as the two oldest non-drunks contemplated their next course of action.

"That SchneeMart we saw earlier was hiring—"

"NO."

Milly sighed. "It's the only hiring sign I saw, Adam. It's not like we've got much of a choice right now."

"Fine, then." Adam turned away. "YOU can work there. I'LL be headed back to the trashpile."

"Don' call 'er tha…" Lancer slurred. "She muh baby…"

"'Adam?' Misaka asks."

Adam looked over his shoulder.

"'What is friendship?' asks Misaka," Misaka said. "'I have received differing definitions and would like to know yours,' she elaborates, stating her case."

Adam firmly squashed down the miniscule part of him that was screaming "ADORABLE!" and turned away again, walking in what he judged the direction of the RV. With a town only so small, how could they lose it, after all?

"Friendship," he said, "is not something that I am particularly concerned with at this point in time."

"Huh, We've been here for over an hour and no one's trying to kill us," Milly noted. Adam paused, thought over the preceding events, and realized that she was right.

"Don't worry," he replied, "I'm sure we'll tick someone off in the morning."

Author's Note: And that was Chapter Two! Don't worry, something significant will happen sooner or later.