It was just after eight in the evening when Jane left Maura's. She knew she had to go home and pick up where she left off with her family, but her heart was heavy. The cold, brutal reality she now faced only served to send her into a spiral. It took all she had not to find the nearest bar and drown herself in a bottle before stumbling home and making a really stupid drunken confession to her wife. Instead she hit the gym at headquarters for a heavy session on the bags before washing off the sweat, grime and tell tale smell of sex. That was definitely not something she needed to take home with her.
It was a quarter to ten when she finally slumped into the driver's seat of her unmarked vehicle. She rummaged through her gym bag, which sat beside her on the passenger seat, to find her phone. An involuntary groan escaped her lips when she saw several missed calls, one from her wife and two from her mother. The two from her mother had been close together a mere fifteen minutes ago.
She tossed the phone on top of the bag and pulled her seatbelt on before turning the key in the ignition and shifting the car into gear. Normally she might be slightly concerned by her mother's lack of restraint, but given what had transpired a couple of hours prior she figured Maura had moved swiftly to disappear and being the conscientious, caring woman she was, she would have no doubt mentioned something to Angela.
A heavy sigh escaped Jane as her brain mulled over the barrage of questions she saw coming from her mother. She was just thankful that could wait until tomorrow, which by then she hoped she would have regained her equilibrium. Her hand slammed angrily into the steering wheel at that thought. There was no regaining her equilibrium any time soon. Maura was her North Star; a bright shining beacon in the night to direct her home.
"Dammit," she growled, slamming her palm into the steering wheel again. She had really gone and messed up this time. How the hell was she going to explain to her mother why Maura had decided to drop everything in her life and just leave? Angela's damned instincts would pick up on the fact there was more to the story; never mind what Dana would have to say. She wasn't thinking about Maura leaving anymore, instead she was trying to find a way not to wind up losing her family.
She was so lost in her thoughts she nearly ran into the back of her mother's car when she went to pull into the driveway. "Oh for the love of God," she muttered under her breath while backing up and navigating to a position on the street. She really wasn't ready for the interrogation she suspected was to come.
There was a case to be made for leaving and not entering her modest home in the suburbs, but the front door opening at the sound of her vehicle pushed that idea away. With a heavy sigh Jane dragged herself out of the car and fought back the instant irritation her mother's presence caused. "Hey Ma," she greeted as normally as she could manage.
"Don't you ever answer your phone?" Angela asked as soon as her daughter joined her on the front porch. "Maura's leaving!"
"She's what?" She hoped her feigned surprised would be enough to keep her mother at bay.
The Rizzoli family matriarch ushered her daughter inside, closing the door behind them. She stood a couple of inches shorter than her daughter, and while she had aged gracefully it was apparent she had spent many a night worried about her children. Worry lines creased her face, especially now that she had heard her surrogate child was leaving. "She's leaving Janie, as in just up and disappearing. She told me not to worry, but she's family and you know she's a terrible liar."
Jane's eyes narrowed and she fingered her keys, "I should go and see what's going on then."
"It's too late for that," Dana said from the doorway to the living room, where she had been entertaining her distraught mother-in-law. "At least according to what your mother has explained."
Jane exhaled slowly, the air deflating her lungs and her demeanour in one swift movement. Her eyes looked from the worried face of her mother to the concerned features of her wife. "You must be mistaken Ma," she reached for her phone and remembered she'd left it in the car. "Crap, phone's in the car. I'm gonna call Maur and sort this whole mess out."
Angela watched her daughter open the door they had just entered and dash down the drive towards the street. Turning to Dana she said, "Are you buying any of that?"
Dana shook her head sadly. There was definitely more going on than she or Angela knew. Jane had been lying through her teeth, but she knew there was a time and place for dealing with that. "Not a word. Perhaps they fought?"
"Whatever it is, I'm going to find out!" Angela said determinedly as she followed in her daughter's footsteps.
Dana followed as far as the door before closing it behind the Rizzolis. Whatever it was, it was best she had no part in it until Jane was ready to broach the truth. She was no fool, she knew her wife had feelings for her best friend and sometimes it ate at her insides, but Jane had always been loyal to her and their son and she believed that would remain her priority.
"Mommy, was that Ma?" A very tired five year old asked, rubbing his eyes as he trundled down the stairs.
Dana reached out and pulled their son Jason into her body, hugging him tightly. She ruffled his dark hair before turning him back towards the stairs, "She's outside talking to Nona, she'll be up soon to kiss you goodnight."
"Okay Mommy, love you." Jason said before retreating back upstairs to his bedroom.
On the street Jane was doing her best to ignore her mother. Unfortunately for her Angela was more than capable of sticking to her guns when she smelled trouble and as far as she was concerned Maura deciding to up and leave meant big trouble.
It really didn't help Jane's mood when her mother rightly assumed her level of responsibility. "What did you do?"
Thankfully for Jane she had her back turned when she heard her mother utter those words, so she was at least saved from getting a lecture for the eye roll she couldn't help but give. So she may well have been responsible on some level for what was happening, but why did her mother always have to go and assume it was her fault? "Gee thanks Ma, glad to know how highly you think of me."
The sarcasm didn't wash over well with Angela, who stood hands on hips mere inches from her daughter who had slipped into the car to reach over to the passenger seat for her phone. "Because," she said knowingly, "When shit hits the fan between you two it normally is your fault!"
Jane couldn't argue with the logic as the only two times her relationship with Maura had been strained were indeed when she had shot Paddy and when she had announced her engagement, which in hindsight that whole deal was making a lot more sense. She could however argue with her mother. "Just stay outta it Ma."
"I will not!" The foot stamp was a little over theatrical, but Angela was absolutely distraught at the thought of Maura going out into the world without Jane to keep her safe. She was like a second daughter and her mothering instincts screamed that this was going to end badly.
Jane pocketed her phone before climbing back out of the car and nudging her mother out of the way so she could close the driver side door and lock the vehicle. She then started back down the drive calling over her shoulder, "Just go home, I'll handle it. Okay?"
Angela quickly followed after her daughter. "And how exactly are you going to do that Jane? She's gone!"
The whole situation was suffocating for Jane who felt like her lungs were being squeezed of air. If it wasn't bad enough that she had lost her best friend and cheated on her wife in the process, she now had to deal with her mother. It was too much. She spun angrily around and jabbed a finger in the direction of Angela. "Just stop it Ma. Go. Home. I can't deal with you and Maura at the same time!"
Angela's features crumpled slightly in shock, "Jane…"
"I said I'll handle it," Jane growled before stalking up the walkway to the front door. She didn't wait for her mother to make a decision; she simply let herself in the house and slammed the door behind her, forgetting the fact that Jason should have been sound asleep and she would have woken him.
The look on Dana's face as she entered the living room proved to be the reminder and she cringed and shot an apologetic look at her wife. "Sorry, I'll go make sure he goes back to sleep."
Dana was quickly by her wife's side, pulling the irate Italian in for a soothing hug. She pressed a chaste kiss to Jane's cheek and said, "Are you okay? You're shaking."
Jane's arms instinctively wrapped around the lithe body of her wife as she shook her head softly against the shoulder her chin rested on. She took a couple of breaths trying to calm down, "It's just my Ma ya know? She drops that on me about Maur and then hounds me about it."
"Have you tried calling Maura yet?" Dana enquired softly, stepping back from the hug and giving her wife the once over. She realised that Jane was not wearing the clothes she had left in that afternoon but decided not to comment, as there would be a logical explanation.
Jane shook her head sadly. "Nah, I mean if she has already left, what can I do about it?" She supposed she should act a little angry about the whole situation. Perhaps a little more upset that Maura had decided to leave without telling her, as far as her story went, but she just couldn't. She was exhausted and emotionally drained. She sighed and turned away, "I'm gonna go check on Jason now."
If Dana said something as she walked out of the room and headed up the stairs she didn't hear it. Her mind was a jumble of warring thoughts with regards to what was going to happen next in her life. Good old Catholic guilt was also doing her head in with regards to all the lies she was going to have to tell. The truth wasn't really an option, was it? That would only end badly and jeopardise her access to her son and she couldn't possibly risk that, could she? She had lost Maura; she couldn't stand it if she lost Jason too, but then she wasn't sure she could keep lying to her wife either.
"Fuck," she cursed under her breath as she pushed the door open to her son's room.
"That's a bad word Mama!" Jason exclaimed, sitting up in bed and looking wide eyed, very surprised to have heard the curse word.
"Mama said a bad word, but that doesn't mean you do alright?" She said as she sat down on the bed beside him and reached over to push some of his dark fringe from his eyes. "Besides, shouldn't you be asleep young man?"
He offered a cheeky grin and shrugged, "I missed you Mama and then I heard you downstairs with Nona!"
He was just so adorable it was hard to stay in a bad mood around him. She ruffled his hair, making a complete mess of it before pulling him into a fierce hug. She kissed his forehead and said, "I love you Jason, don't you forget it 'k?"
He wrapped his arms around his mother and smiled big before giving her a big wet kiss. "Love you too Mama."
Jane smiled and gently eased her son back into bed before pulling the covers back over him and giving him one more kiss to the forehead. She walked over to the door before turning back and asking, "Night light on or off?"
Jason yawned and closed his eyes, mumbling, "On please."
"Night son." She closed the door behind her and stood still for a minute, just to appreciate the moment. She loved Jason so much and would do anything for him; even if that meant giving up the love of her life. She sighed and headed back down the stairs to find Dana, one way or another, they had to talk.
A/N: What's that saying? Becareful what you wish for? So yes we are on the path to Rizzles, but anyone who knows me by now should realise that I have trouble writing short stories, and a bunch of awesome ideas to go with this kinda hit me... so I'm afraid to say multi chapter story coming. I know I still have others to work on, but when the muse is cooperating I run with her wherever she may take me.
Thank you so much for the reviews and reads, I would recommend following after this chapter, because I will be changing the rating to M as I do for most of my long stories as there will be heavier grittier content at some point. Or at least remember to change your filter to allow you to see M rated stories.