Before Jane entered her life in a whirlwind of unruly curls and sarcasm, Maura would never have had the strength to walk away from love. She realised it was the intensity of that love – the strength of it, that enabled her to do what she thought was best for Jane. It was a terrible predicament, having allowed herself to fall prey to an upheaval of emotions that resulted in the ultimate dropping of her guard.

"There you are," Jane said softly as she plopped down on the grass next to Maura.

She smiled weakly in return, but didn't look up because she didn't want Jane to see her tears. "Here I am," she agreed.

They sat side by side in her back garden, which was fairly secluded by the tall boundary fences. Silence ensued for several minutes until Jane gave her a friendly shoulder bump before wrapping an arm around her shoulders and pulling her in for a hug. "You miss him."

"I miss his warmth and compassion." Maura said as her mind drifted to memories of her time with Tyson Walters. "I felt safe with him," she admitted softly.

Jane pressed a comforting kiss into the honey blonde locks of her best friend. "I know. He was the only guy I trusted with you."

Maura tilted her head up just to be sure she heard correctly and as she suspected Jane's face said it all. Tyson was the one man that the detective deemed worthy of her affections. She averted her eyes back down and sighed sadly. "We would have been married today."

Jane gripped her friend a little tighter at that admission. She had known Tyson intended to propose as he had been quite chivalrous about his intentions, so far as to ask Jane for her blessing. His reasoning had been that there had only been one person in Maura's life before him that had protected her interests so earnestly and it was that person he wanted to prove his worthiness. She had naturally given her blessing, even if the thought had caused her heart to clench. Maura deserved every happiness and he was willing to provide it when she couldn't.

"I never realised he had proposed." This was the first time Maura had acknowledged that her relationship with Tyson had in fact moved to the next level and it churned her guts violently, "I'm sorry… I should have done more…"

Maura shifted away from Jane and climbed to her feet, holding out a hand she said, "Come inside." She didn't want to think about what had happened anymore than she already had. It was too painful and the last thing she wanted was for Jane to be feeling guilty.

Jane took the hand offered and pulled herself up with the help of her friend. She followed her inside and took up position on a stool at the kitchen island. She watched Maura go through the painstaking process of getting the coffee machine working in relative silence. She recognised a need for routine in her friend and as such just waited patiently for the delicious beverage she knew was being prepared for her.

They sat in silence while they consumed their hot drinks, before Maura couldn't take it any more and said what she knew Jane needed to hear. "It wasn't your fault. It was a random event with horrid consequences and the fact you were there could have only made things worse if you had died too."

"Maura…"

"What could you have done differently? I mean really Jane, you may think you could have done something more, but the facts as you reported them to me that day were his actions were heroic." Maura paused to move around the island and sit down next to Jane. "He made a split second decision, which saved your life and the lives of others. You have a family Jane; they would have been devastated to have lost you."

The words she left unspoken were those that indicated the level of devastation she would have felt if she had lost Jane. Losing Tyson was horrific enough, she loved him, he was a wonderful caring man; but he wasn't Jane. Nobody could ever replace Jane in her life and losing her would, she surmised, be her own end.

Jane didn't need to hear the words to know what went unsaid. For years they had been hovering close to the line of being more than friends, but life had hit them hard. Her decision to marry Dana had been the final nail in their coffin, but it hadn't stopped her from loving Maura anyway. It was something she had spent years trying to let go, because Maura had indeed found her own happiness with Tyson and she most certainly couldn't cheat on her family with her best friend. The problem was the more life threw at them the more she longed to bring her friend comfort and love.

She shook her head and played with her now empty mug, keeping her eyes down. The fact was being in the same bank as Tyson at the time of an armed robbery and not being the one to save the day caused her immense grief. It wasn't that she wanted to be the one to save the day, but that the resulting effort from Tyson cost him his life and Maura a future she deserved. "But I was there, I shoulda been the one to… it shoulda been me."

Maura reached across the island and placed her hand over the mug to still the detective's fidgeting. Her fingers grazed over the detective's and they both paused for a moment at the touch before she caught Jane's eye and said, "Don't you dare Jane. My heart hurts enough as it is without having to have endured losing you."

"But I didn't protect you in there. By not saving Tyson I failed you." Jane said quietly, admitting something to the doctor she had never previously revealed, although she knew Maura would have suspected she felt that way. "I can't seem to protect those I love."

Maura pushed the mug aside completely and gripped Jane's hand. She knew that this was a vulnerability that ran deeper than just that awful day in the bank. This was about Dana and Frost too. "Stop blaming yourself over situations you couldn't change. You weren't with Dana when…"

"Don't, please." Jane begged, hating to relive the thoughts of Dana's rape. A rape she had not been privy to until two months after the event. Just another example of a person in her life she had let down. "I shoulda been with her that night."

"But you weren't." Maura said calmly, "Instead of allowing yourself to wallow in self pity at the time you stepped up and made sure she received the help she needed and you supported her through a very difficult emotional time. You ensured she had a refuge, a safe place to be for her and her son… your son."

Jane patted Maura's hand with her free hand before removing both hands from the warm touch that felt a little too good. Everything Maura said was true, and she knew it, but she realised that she was always going to feel bad about not stopping that rape, because it put into motion a course of events that led them to this place. A place where she was married with a child and Maura was mourning the death of her fiancé. If she had stopped that rape… well there was no point thinking about how things may have been different. What was done was done and she couldn't change that.

She looked up at Maura who was studying her intensely and asked, "How do I make it better for you?"

"Just by being you, Jane."

The detective shot a questioning look at the doctor, a little unsure how being her usual stubborn sarcastic, oft times insensitive self helped anyone.

"You always know when I need you. Like right now. I didn't need to call you and tell you I was having a difficult time because you were just here."

"I'll always be here for you Maura."

"I know."

Suddenly overwhelmed with intense emotion Jane rose from her stool and started pacing. Her life was a complete mess. She had everything she could dream of, a loving wife and child, an amazing best friend and a job she loved but she just wasn't happy. Not with the status quo. Her heart thumped erratically in her chest as the thoughts in her mind became more and more one tracked. Finally she found her voice, "Maura… I… I have to go."

Maura's heart lurched in her chest. She hated being selfish, it was the last thing she wanted to be, but she needed Jane. She had been so alone in the year since Tyson died, and the only time the feeling eased off was when she was with Jane. "Please stay."

Jane ran a nervous hand through her hair and looked over at Maura who seemed so sad in that moment. A sad puppy had nothing on the look thrown her way and it was quickly melting her resolve. She longed to make Maura feel better, to feel loved. She swallowed thickly, "It's not that simple… I want to… but…"

"But what? Maura asked curiously, taking several steps towards where Jane had ceased pacing.

She was close enough to touch and in that moment everything inside of Jane snapped. There was no resolve, no guilt, no fear, just an insatiable desire to make a declaration of her true feelings. "But, so help me God…" She stepped into Maura and with one strong hand in the small of her back she pulled the doctor towards her while the other hand delicately placed beneath the doctor's chin directed her head to an acceptable angle. She then met Maura's mouth with a searing kiss. When she stepped back mere moments later she finished her sentence, "that."

"Oh." Maura stared wide eyed at Jane; she hadn't seen that coming. She had believed that they were long past that ever being an option. Her own values had ensured it was never an option once Jane had become involved with Dana.

"Yeah," Jane became rather self conscious in that moment; she chose to find a point just past Maura to look at while she jammed her hands in her jean pockets.

"I didn't realise…" Maura started to say before trailing off, unsure on how to finish the sentence. She could see her best friend was radiating vulnerability over her actions, which was quite unusual..

Jane refocused on hazel orbs and shrugged, trying to play off her bold move if it was not what Maura wanted. "I never said anything because I just didn't think you trusted me anymore."

Maura's brow furrowed in confusion until the meaning dawned on her. "That long?"

"Yeah," she swallowed nervously before looking down again and mumbling, "It's always been you."

Maura was stunned to say the least and she was unsure on how to respond. She couldn't really do what she wanted to do because Jane was married. It didn't matter that life was short. Jane had a wife and child to consider. She didn't register at first Jane's mumbled admission, or the fact the detective was making a hasty retreat.

That soon changed however as the weight of Jane's admission struck her. She called out, "Jane, wait."

Jane turned reluctantly only to find herself having to catch Maura as she leapt into her arms. She clutched gainfully at the blonde and shifted her on her hips and met the fiery kiss with an unbridled passion of her own. She stumbled forward and pressed Maura up against the hall wall. When they took a moment to gasp in some much needed air she managed a quick, "Are you sure?"

Maura answered the question with a kiss before pulling back and looking into dilated pupils, "Nobody has ever loved me like you do Jane Rizzoli."

As she carried Maura forward towards the stairs and her ultimate goal of the bedroom she placed numerous kisses against the doctor's neck before finding a pulse point and latching on. Finally she pulled away as she fumbled to get the door open while carrying the blonde. She finally got them through the door, all the while her own neck was being accosted by the doctor. She placed her down on the bed and crawled predatorily above her. Looking down at the wanton look in Maura's eyes she said, "And nobody ever will."

Maura shook herself out of her daydream and double checked she had everything she needed before she set off from her hotel room to meet up with her biological mother Doctor Hope Martin. She may have had to leave Jane behind, but she wasn't going to waste her life. No matter the heartache she would find a way to carry on and her first goal was to give back to the community by taking up a position working with her mother.

Stepping outside into the light London drizzle she pulled her coat tightly around her body before hailing a taxi cab. It was time to start her new life.

A/N: I do believe someone was longing for some rizzles fluff... I guess this flashback will have to do for now. Thanks again to all who read and review. Reviews really keep me going and motivated so thank you.