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Chapter Two

Michonne awakened with a start, immediately looking towards the clock on the nightstand and panicked when she saw the time. She was late. She thought, then quickly moved to get up, when she remembered the planning meeting she had at noon with Maggie and several others. She didn't have gate duty today. She sighed, relieved that she hadn't missed a time she was scheduled to work. She then lightly stretched and languidly turned to face Rick, but was disappointed to find that he was not there. She looked towards his nightstand and saw that his Colt was gone and his gun belt was missing from the hook on the wall. He'd already left for the day. She deduced. Out on a planned trip with Darryl to the Hilltop. Michonne shifted to her back and lay there staring at the ceiling, sad and missing him. It had been months since she'd woken alone, without him being at her side. Since they'd first made love, more than two years ago, they hardly ever slept or woke apart. There had been an occasion or two when they'd been separated due to some dire circumstance or one of them being away on community business, but that was highly unusual. Even so, he'd left her that morning, without even waking her to say goodbye or to make love. The latter being something he did often in the morning. He was giving her space. The time he'd promised to give her the night before. The time he sensed she needed to consider his proposal. Michonne slowly got up and sat on the side of the bed. Her thoughts racing with what she wanted, yet what she feared, clashing in her mind. I can't do this now. She whispered aloud, remembering the planning meeting in which she had just a couple of hours to prepare. Michonne left the bed, retrieved her robe from where it lay on the floor, then grabbed her katana and headed for the shower.

Stepping out of the shower Michonne grabbed a towel and used it to cover her damp hair before retrieving another from the large cabinet beneath the sink. She thoroughly dried off. Then wrapped herself in the towel and stepped to the sink to tend to her face, when she saw something she hadn't noticed before. It was a piece of paper that was a little wet from the steam in the room laying atop something on the counter. Curious, she picked up the paper, which she saw was a note and began to read.

Life just isn't right without a good toothbrush. Saw this and thought of you.

Love Rick

Michonne moved the note and saw what lie beneath. There was a white box, still wrapped in the plastic packaging, with an appealing picture of the battery powered toothbrush that was bundled inside. She laughed aloud, in happiness and surprise, wondering when Rick had time to find this when they were at the store. She'd been with him the whole time. Then she remembered that he and Darryl had gone back to get a couple of crates of bottled water. He must've gotten it then. She laughed again, the joy in her heart blending with melancholy, morphing into an aching longing. She immediately tore open the box to get a look at her new gift and mused with a sad smile about a time before when Rick brought her something special from a run. Knowing how much she loved art, he'd once brought back a couple of pieces from the one of the historical homes nearby. He'd even hung them for her in their bedroom and in the hallway upstairs, even though she'd insisted that she could do it herself. She deeply loved this man. She was committed to him completely, and he to her. They didn't need to say the words. They didn't need to give fate a reason to come for them, to remind them that they weren't invulnerable to loss. They didn't need to be shown that their family still being intact was an anomaly, that needed to be corrected.

Now dressed with a clean body and teeth, Michonne made her way down stairs, her heart still heavily conflicted with her thoughts. She found breakfast, an acorn muffin, that had been left for her on the counter. The sight filled her with warmth in the mist of the storm within her, and she wondered who'd left it for her, Rick or Carl. She went on to retrieve the muffin and took a bite, savoring its taste, then proceeded to pick up Judith's 'toys' a series of red Solo cups, scattered across the living room floor.

She then headed for the couch, planning to sit and look over some things, to focus on preparing for the noon meeting, when she spotted a sheet of paper, anchored to the coffee table with the ball that Carl sometimes still used to strengthen coordination with his eye. Wanting to get a better look at what was on the sheet that appeared to have drawings of various weapons, Michonne reached down and attempted to slide the paper from beneath the ball, when it began to roll. Rotating quickly, it spun out of her reached, off the end of the table then under couch.

Shit! She exclaimed in irritation, then put her muffin down and got on her knees to find the ball. She peaked under the dark couch, at first only seeing clumps of dust and darkness when she sighted the ball, where it had rolled into one of the feet of the furniture. She then moved to retrieve it but saw what looked like a stuffed toy, and reached for it instead. Pulling it out, she initially found it difficult to tell what it was supposed be due to it being cocooned in dust, likely from being under the couch for a long period of time. However, after brushing the cobwebs away she could see that it was a stuffed giraffe. Nostalgia instantly smacked her in the gut, ripping the air from her lungs. Paralyzed by pain, she helplessly stared at the stuffed toy as it evoked a memory from her past life…She and Mike had taken Andre to the zoo for the first time. He'd like all the animals, but for whatever reason that only a two-year old would know, he was completely enthralled with the giraffes. He was so fascinated with the animal that when they'd stopped at the gift shop as they were leaving, the stuffed giraffe was the only toy he wouldn't leave behind. She and Mike had purchased it of course, and from that moment forward he'd carried that thing nearly everywhere. Even when they went to the refugee camp, they couldn't leave the house without it. Michonne sorrowfully closed her eyes and saw her son, the moment when she first brought him home, his first word and first steps, how Mike had insisted they take him for ice cream for that milestone he didn't quite understand. They had a good life. She painfully mused as tears threatened to flow. She had a good life now, a life that she couldn't bear losing as she had before. The memory of the past strongly invaded her mind, reminding her of the happiness in her life, her decision to marry and the horror that followed. She wanted to take the risk. She wanted give Rick her everything, but she didn't know if she could. Michonne helplessly broke down into a quiet sob, grasping the stuffed animal to her chest, missing her son beyond words, crying for a past that was lost, and for a future that she now realized was beyond her control.

Fifteen minutes had past and Carl had still failed to find Michonne. He'd first gone to the Monroe house where the planning meeting was held, but he'd only found Maggie, who told him that she'd mentioned the armory. When he'd arrived there, it was the same thing again, she was nowhere in sight, in fact the place was people free and locked up. Just as he was about to head home, see if she'd returned there, he'd run into Eric who said he'd seen her headed for the gardens. Carl had been bewildered by this news, for Michonne rarely visited the gardens and for that matter cooked. They mostly lived off Mrs. Edward's veggie casseroles, which she insisted on making for everyone, nuts, fruit and his dad's grilled rabbit when one could be caught. Michonne could make a pretty good black bean pie and dry pasta salad if the right ingredients were available. Maybe that's why she was there. Carl thought. If she was still there. Or maybe she went to speak with Pamela, the woman who managed the gardens. Where ever she was he needed to talk to her. Something was going on with her and his dad. He'd noticed it the night before and saw it confirmed that morning when they didn't wake together. They were distant, awkward with each other. He didn't like it and was determined to get to the bottom of it. Carl made his way into the gardens and scanned the landscape, wondering which crop he should check first, when he spotted her across the way. He immediately headed in her direction, noting how out of place she looked with the katana strapped to her back. Yeah. Something was definitely wrong he deduced.

Hey. Carl said as he came upon her.

What are you doing here? Michonne asked with surprise, after ceasing to pull more beans from the stalk.

I could ask you the same thing. He countered. You never pick vegetables.

I'm making black bean pie for dinner. She explained, then resumed picking the beans. You okay? She asked, after glancing at him to find his arms folded across his chest.

Did you and dad have a fight? He nearly blurted out.

No. Michonne replied. What makes you think that?

You were distant at dinner, and then this morning, dad didn't wake you up. He…he always wakes you up. He said, as he shyly dropped his eyes. Detecting the uneasiness in Carl's tone, Michonne looked his way and saw that his cheeks were suddenly flushing red and realized what his comment meant. She quickly turned her eyes away, embarrassed herself, before he looked up. Something happened. He nearly stumbled over his next words. If you tell me what it is, maybe I can… He stopped speaking upon seeing the change in Michonne's stance, realization hitting him in that moment. Wait...Dad asked you to marry him didn't he? Michonne stopped what she was doing and turned back to him, surprise and uncertainty in her eyes. And you said no. He assumed with disappointment.

No. Michonne stated, looking him in the eyes.

He didn't ask you to marry him?

No…I mean yes. He did ask me.

So what did you say?

I didn't say anything. She somberly answered, then continued picking beans.

Why not? Michonne didn't answer. She'd always been open with Carl, but she didn't want to get into this with him. She couldn't. Do you not want to marry him?

Carl, it's more complicated than saying yes or no.

What's complicated? You love each other. He reasoned, when realization dawned again. Is it because of Andre?

Michonne slowed her picking, swallowing back emotion. Silence permeated the moment, save for the sound of an occasional bee and the snapping of the beans being pulled from the stalk. You told me once, that I didn't need to be afraid of you or dad… Carl suddenly asserted, driving Michonne to pull one pod, then stop, focusing her now tearful eyes on him once more. …the same goes for you. He said. You don't have to be afraid of saying yes. Dad loves you. Judith loves you. I…I love you. Whatever happens we'll get through it together, like we always do. We'll be okay.

Michonne gave him an emotional smile, amazed at his intelligence and maturity, then pulled him into a hug.

Thank you. She uttered as they embraced. Thankful he said what she already knew, but needed to be reminded of again.

Well? What're you gonna tell dad? Carl asked after ending their embrace, watching as she regained control of her emotions.

I don't know. She honestly stated. But whatever happens we'll be okay. She said, repeating the words he'd uttered moments before.

Carl gave her a small smile, wanting to proclaim what he was thinking, that she was going to say yes, but thought better of it, not wanting to put any more pressure on her.

Now! She exclaimed with a breath. You're gonna help me finish picking dinner?

Sorry, but I can't.

Why not?! You came all this way and you're not gonna help? She lightly teased.

My work is finished here. He declared. I now have other things to attend to.

And what might those things be? She laughed at his heroic tone.

I…I have target practice with Enid.

You mean a date? Michonne guessed, causing his smile to broaden, which in turn confirmed her assertion.

I gotta go. He asserted, nearly blushing the words. I'll see you at dinner. He said before disappearing amongst the foliage of the garden, leaving her feeling mirthful and a little more encouraged.

Michonne set the small basket of black beans on the island counter, and began removing her weapon from her back, when Rick emerged from the hall, walking into the kitchen.

Hey. She softly, tensely stated as she finished taking off her sword and placed it against the wall.

Hey. He quietly uttered as he slowly came to stand at the counter opposite her.

How long you been back? She asked, holding his stare.

Not long. I just stopped by to drop off some milk. He replied, briefly dropping his eyes.

Milk? She said, turning away just as he lifted his gaze, which troubled his heart. Judith'll be happy.

Yeah. She will.

How's Gregory? Still being an ass? She then asked, about the man who recently broke his leg, making frivolous conversation. Why she didn't know, as she gathered food items from the cupboard that she'd need to make the black bean pie.

Yeah.

And Jesus?

Yeah.

Yeah what? Michonne couldn't help but smile and returned her eyes to him.

Yeah he's still an ass too. Rick teased with a vague grin due to her smile that briefly eased the tension in the room. How was the meeting?

It went well, not much to tell. She said, as she resumed her focus on pulling the items she needed from the cupboard. A lot of talk about the expansion near the east wall.

I was just on my way there. Anything I need to know?

Nothing that hasn't already been talked about. But you should be at the next meeting. I think we'll get into the thick of things then.

I'll be there. He vowed, just as she set the casserole dish on the counter. The sound of its glass meeting the marble seemed to launch an awkward silence in the room. Her eyes remained down focused on the dish, trying to organize her thoughts, while Rick, sensing her desire to speak, waited patiently for her to be ready. When you asked me to marry you… it scared me. It still scares me. She faintly admitted, her eyes still down.

Why? Rick quietly asked as he slipped his hand over hers and gently gave it a squeeze.

Before… I never wanted marriage. She replied as she lifted her eyes. I didn't see the point. Mike and I were living together with our son, and we were committed without the need to make it official. But then, seven years in, we started to talk marriage. We were excited about it. It was, up until that point the happiest time in my life... Then… She paused and briefly closed her eyes, but was encouraged to continue when Rick again, gently tightened his grasp on her hand. …Then, everything happened. She resumed. And I lost them, and everything they represented to me…. life, joy, hope… a future…. now here I am, nearly three years later, there again with you, Carl and Judith. She sighed, meeting his gaze again. I'm happy, just like before, in some ways more so… So when you say you want to marry…it scares me, takes me back to what was, how when I was here before, everything was destroyed... It's insane, I know. She said, dropping her eyes once more. But I fear…I fear what asking for too much may cost.

It's not insane. Rick assured as he moved around the island, closing the distance between them, her hand still in his, comforting. You lost someone you cared about, and you lost your son. How could you not be affected by that? He said as Michonne lightly nodded, acknowledging what he'd said even as her eyes remained cast down. I know that you're afraid of the fates, God, whoever taking what we have, but that's all the more reason for us to hold on tighter than ever to each other, to live and love to the fullest. He passionately conveyed. Michonne stood quiet and still, her eyes closed, taking in his words while battling the pain of reopening the past.

Hey. Rick uttered as he touched her cheek, caressing it, then turned her face towards him. Michonne raised her eyes and was instantly struck by the caring and conviction in his stare, heating her and moving her all at once. Do you trust me? He then asked.

With my life. She expressed with impassion.

Do you love me?

I do.

Then marry me. He whispered in a near plea.

Michonne took a breath, accepting the answer that was in heart all along, but had been concealed by her fear of the past. Yes. She quietly voiced, holding his tender gaze. I'll marry you.

Rick instantly pulled her face to his, touching their foreheads. I love you. He softly uttered, then took her lips, slowly, passionately, savoring her taste as Michonne slipped her hands in his hair, anchoring him to her. The kiss deepened, their tongues greedily exploring when Rick suddenly changed course. Moving to her cheek he sensuously grazed it, before arriving at her ear, delicately plunging his tongue inside before hotly tasting its lobe. Rick. Michonne fervently gasped. He then progressed to her neck kissing it hungrily, driving Michonne to languidly tilt her head allowing him access before he drifted lower, delving into the open dip in her shirt, to gently nuzzle and bite the top of her breast. Michonne again uttered his name, breathless with yearning then pulled his face from her chest and reclaimed his lips. They continued kissing, ardently, endlessly, her hands clutching his curls, his hands buried in her dreads. When he moved his hands to her back, caressing it, before sliding to her butt, gently squeezing it. Michonne moaned, inflamed by his fondle. When he then lifted her from the floor. His mouth still feverishly melded to hers and carried her to the couch in the next room.