Fables

by Whimsical Acumen

Elsa's overworked, Jack's avoiding responsibilities, Jim is coping, Silver is an ex-criminal-now-sheriff, Tiana's avoiding her ex, the Seventh Floor is self-serving, the Investigative Crew is in shambles, and Stitch has yet again eaten everyone's left shoe. At least Elsa has Kronk's brownies to hold her over until the next catastrophe. Welcome to Fabletown.

4. Ballroom Blitz

Pairings: For the most part Jelsa, but while it will end up as JackxElsa, that means there will be a little JimxElsa, too.

Rating: R/M because people are dying and so censorship is much less of a debate.

Disclaimer: Send your appreciation and respect to the minds of Disney, DreamWorks, Bluth, and pretty much any animation company that is not me. The original concept of this story is not mine: Fables belongs to DC/Vertigo Comics. I'm simply re-interpreting a pre-existing story, just like pretty much everyone else on this website. Song and lyrics, "Ballroom Blitz," is by the Sweet.

Thanks: To SashaWren and IGDude117 because my writing is by no means perfect and there's always something that can be improved. Seriously, give them major props and thank you's! I also would like to thank my brother, who was patient enough to sit through several readings of two sections of this to help in my drafting. And I would also like to extend thanks to S Danyal Allen, Kelsocspaatarailka, Trapid, boredminimalist, SharKohen, and Skyline 10 for your reviews. Your support means so much!

Cheers!

Chapter 4: "One of the Bigger Mistakes A Fable Could Make"

Or

"Ballroom Blitz"

The Remembrance Day Ball was one of Jack's favorite events of the year.

It was the one time of year the Fables of Fabletown moved past their normal lives and came together in celebration. Tiana exhibited the best of her dishes, purposely catered to match the year's current theme. Lumiere and Cogsworth teamed up to organize the various Fables who will showcase their talents, representing culture from their long-lost lands. Those who worked in the Basement removed the collective stick from their bums and allowed themselves to have fun. Jack was able to meet up with friends he was not often able to visit because of scheduling, and relax with those dearest to him.

Jack did often wish to himself, however, that children were allowed to attend the ball, but it was strictly an adults-only event. Considering it began in the evening and continued until midnight, he recognized adhering to his unspoken wish would be inappropriate and unethical. Still, he always felt his spirit recharge when around youthful souls, steaming with imagination and glee – and "youthful" was not exactly a term often used for the almost-immortal Fables. Lately his desire to play with innocents was bubbling.

At least there was always Stitch who, despite his uncanny genius, seemed to be perpetually five.

"Aloha, Jack," the alien in question greeted.

If Jack did not have a century or so under his belt of getting used to the image of a Glamoured Stitch, he would have had great confusion regarding the identity of the individual greeting him. The tall figure, dressed in a sophisticated tuxedo, with his dreadlocks pulled back into a low ponytail, did not exactly resemble the little monster. Even his voice was different as it accommodated different vocal chords. Despite the differences, there was something in the thickness of Stitch's eyebrows, the width of his nose, his crooked smile and rather pointed teeth, and overall arrangement of his facial features that allowed others to see a resemblance in the disguise.

"Hey, bud," Jack returned the greeting. He noticed as Stitch adjusted his coat the alien was concealing a weapon. "What?" He dropped his volume to a whisper as Fables passed them. Jack's cheerful expression and waves did not match his disgruntled, "Wow, you're actually packing."

The disguised alien smirked and raised an eyebrow.

"Man, that's no fair," Jack complained without heart. "What kind of weapon is that, anyways?"

Stitch patted it over his jacket and answered, "Plasma gun."

Jack nodded as if he knew what that actually was. "Plasma gun. Right." He tilted his head as he hinted at a possible way for the two of them to have fun for the evening. "So uh, do those things hurt? 'Cause, I feel like there's a certain individual who might be in desperate need of a haircut. I mean, come on, pony-tails are kind of super lame." He trailed off looking at Stitch's Glamoured hair. "No, no – it looks good on you."

Stitch sniggered and flicked his hair, which could pretty much be called a mane, over his shoulder.

Jack continued, "I mean rattails, you know, the pretend ponytails that aren't even made up of a full head of hair."

"Yuuga want Stitch prank Bootifa Achi-Baba?"

"Well I don't know if I'd call him that, but yeah, him."

The Glamoured Fable stroked his chin thoughtfully. "Stitch could shoot at head, but Stitch naga clean up mess after." He mimicked pulling a trigger with his fingers, and not-so-tactfully made his version of gun sound effects, and then someone dying rather painfully.

Jack blanched. "Okay. Maybe not the plasma gun then."

"Stitch don't mind."

"You know, I've been charged for a lot at this point, but I don't really want to be an accomplice for murder."

Stitch scoffed as if insulted – which he very well may have been. "Stitch has excellent aim. Stitch will get rid of rattail and not head."

"No buddy, it's okay." Jack backed away and took the movement as an excuse to wander.

Jack's eyes roamed amidst the crowd. While he had been instructed to look for a specific genre of individual, his attention was more directed toward his various comrades. He couldn't help it: there were so many he cared for in one space, he could not help but want to socialize. There was no way he was going to continue to stand by the wall like a bored – and boring – bouncer. The playful Fable informed Stitch he would be back, and took off into the mass of people dressed to the nines.

"Jack, my main prankster man!"

"Kuzco!" Jack greeted the slender Emperor, who was dressed in a fitted, grey tux. As usual, Kuzco's dark hair was moving like something out of a shampoo commercial. He kept tucking it behind his ears to show off his gold and diamond earrings. "How's my favorite party animal?"

"Better if we had some more of that Maine lobster!" Kuzco waved his empty plate, flinging crumbs about. "Jack, I am practically dying over here."

"Oh hush!" The blonde bombshell Charlotte, or Lottie, turned from the group she had been conversing with to add her two cents. Jack had to blink a few times as he took in her bright pink, sequined dress. The skirt was so full and large, people had to give her two extra feet of space. "You're quibblin' louder than a babe without a bottle. Just grab pretty much anythin' from the caterin' table and it will be absolutely divine, courtesy of Tiana! Speaking of which – Jack," she eagerly leaned toward him – at a 45-degree angle to compensate for her clothing – but did nothing to adjust the loud volume of her voice. "You hang out with the sheriff, tell me, is he crushin' on dear Tiana or is he wingmanin' for Jim?"

Jack smiled through the discomfort of her line of questioning. It seemed Jack wasn't the only one who picked up on some tensions. "Heh, sorry Lottie, I'm not really sure I can say."

"Tell me, tell me, tell me!" She bounced on her heels and shook her fists, much like a child throwing a tantrum. Jack laughed, but he privately found the act much more tolerable when it was age appropriate.

A woman who was in Charlotte's original circle of conversation parted to join theirs. Jack was happy to see her: Esmerelda was a beautiful, and amazingly kindhearted Fable with an uncanny knack for knowing what others are feeling, and to speak up for them in a non-instigating manner. "Lottie," She lightly reprimanded. "You should know by now Jack is respectful of others' privacy." Esmerelda's dark lips pulled into a smirk, and she gave Jack a teasing, almost flirtatious, smile. "He's better for mischief, rather than gossip."

"Hah, well said." Jack grinned. "Though I would argue the two aren't mutually exclusive," he concluded with a wink.

Lottie's expression dropped to one of boredom. "Have it your way, hon, but I'm still gonna get me some answers." She looked around and excused herself, wondering, "Now, where's my sugar, Kronk…?"

Jack excused himself, and soon ran into some of his old conspirators. Two handsome Spaniard Fables who were catlike in their movements. If Esmerelda thought Jack was mischievous, she should get a load of these two. "Eyyy, Jack," the blond of the two greeted. He leaned forward, and Jack could almost feel the man's facial hair. Evidently someone had alcohol in his system. "No orange jumpsuit this evening. Silver finally run out of petty crimes to charge you with?"

"That's one possibility." Jack said. He continued to share their gaze despite maintaining the direction of his walk through the crowd. "Or maybe I'm just better at avoiding getting caught, Miguel. We may never really know."

"I'll drink to that!" Miguel laughed and then lifted his arm and snapped his fingers. "And on that note, waiter, let's get some more drinks, shall we?" Yes, he was very drunk.

"Miguel!" The Spaniard who, unlike his partner, had his long, dark hair pulled back into a low ponytail and was much soberer, scowled greatly. "You are not having another drink already."

"Tulio! Lighten up, it's a holiday. That means we celebrate!"

Jack left the two to bicker and was stopped, yet again, by another familiar Fable.

He certainly felt popular.

"Greetings Jack!" The leader of the Basement-dwellers, Merlin, regarded him with a cheery expression. The Wizard was one of the few, if only, not dressed in a suit or a dress, but instead wore his usual bright blue robes and matching, pointed hat. "Say, isn't it about time we've seen you in the Basement again? Mighty fine work you did before, and as you know, there is always more progress to be made!"

This was certainly a friendlier reception than Jack was expecting. The last time he had seen Merlin, the Wizard was extraordinarily red in the face. "But I thought you were still mad about …?"

"Oh that? Bah! I've long been over that whole incident." Jack felt his shoulders relax with Merlin's explanation. "Blame myself, really. I should have known not to have left you alone with that Megamind. Always going off on tangent projects with those ridiculous titles …"

"Hey, at least he's having fun, right?"

"Right you are, my boy. Right you are."

Jack chuckled as he continued to weave his way through the crowd of party-goers, greeting all he came across. He liked seeing all of the familiar faces and the general mixed pot of personalities thus brought together. Jack was in the midst of exchanging pleasantries with the Parr family, fist-bumping Dash, when he caught sight of the Fables he had been looking for.

Eager, he began to edge closer with more speed and purpose.

Amidst the mass of Fables, the royals of the lost land of Arendelle were clustered together in conversation. Jack could tell the three were continuing to catch up, sharing stories that had accumulated over the two weeks of Anna and Kristoff's absence. Anna was closest to Jack as he neared the group, pinned to her husband's side, waving her arms and fingers as she conducted a tale. Jack caught a reflection of the ex-iceman's eyes in her thick gold bracelet: warm and crinkled with adoration.

With ease Jack sought out Elsa next and he welcomed the familiar sigh of relief once he registered her. Elsa was pure smiles in the face of her sister. Jack liked to entertain the thought that if she were to ever cease holding her fingers up to her mouth to shield her expression, all around her would be blinded by its sheen.

Jack eagerly, and smoothly if he would say so himself, slipped into the man-sized gap between Elsa and Anna.

"Oh my gosh, Jack!" Anna cut herself off and released her husband to envelop Jack in a warm hug.

"Anna, Kristoff," he added as he looked above Anna's head and grinned at Kristoff, "Welcome back!"

He could feel the giddy chuckles rise as he shared in their excitement, particularly Anna's.

Arendelle's princess pulled away, running her hands down his arms and stopping at his fingers. "Thanks! New Zealand was great! Right, Babe?" She began to swing their arms, which Jack playfully went along with.

"It was pretty amazing," Kristoff agreed.

"Yes," Jack turned to Elsa as she spoke. Her eyes danced up and her right hand elegantly pivoted as if preparing to hold a drink. "Anna's shown me some of the pictures they've taken already. I had forgotten how stunning the country is."

"Oh my gosh, we need to show them to you later!" Anna gushed, and then simmered as she prepared for the possibility of a polite rejection. "I mean, only if you want. I'm sure pictures of boring old us doing couple-y things could be, well, not fun to sit through…"

"What? No, Anna," Jack stopped their swinging arms and squeezed her hands gently. He was aware of Elsa's approving smile out of the corner of his eye. "I would absolutely love to hear more about your trip." As Anna beamed, reassured, he released her hands. Jack considered reaching his arm out to Elsa, but thought better of it and gestured to the two women, particularly their attire. "I take it these are Elsa originals?"

A different sort of smile, both bashful and filled with pride, graced Elsa's face.

Anna spun on her toes in glee as she answered, "Yes!" so that the skirt of her dress flared with life. The cut of the velvet green dress was reminiscent of the style of 1950's America: modest neckline, cinched waist, and full skirt. "Have I mentioned how much I love my super talented sister?"

Elsa giggled as Kristoff said, "You know, I don't think I've ever heard you say anything nice about your sister. Ever." Jack laughed while Anna puckered her lips into a playful pout, soon broken by a smile that refused to be concealed.

"Excuse me, it is my duty as Elsa's sister to pepper her with doting compliments at all times. It's called love, Kristoff." The three Fables surrounding Anna uttered their own versions of bemused snorts and smiles at her declaration.

Unperturbed, Anna continued, "I mean look!" She leaned toward Jack for him to better inspect. "Look at this detail! Gold trim! Gold! And can you believe how much there is to see in these super adorable, tiny little flowers?" As Anna straightened so she could hold out Kristoff's sleeves to show how they matched, Jack corrected his earlier thought regarding her neckline: perhaps not so modest, considering how it hung low enough for her neck and shoulders to be bare, but compared to Elsa, her attire was tame.

Elsa dropped her gloved hands to her middle, no longer hiding her pleased expression. Jack trailed the journey her fingers took as an excuse to admire, and honestly ogle, the dress she had created for the holiday. In typical Elsa fashion, her deep, ocean blue dress was more fitted than Anna's, and draped elegantly to the floor. Fit aside, Elsa's attire would seem to have more coverage than her sister's, given the high neckline. However, the back of the dress plunged to her hip bone and almost seemed to taunt Jack as he was unable to take up the ghost of an invitation to rest his hand there.

"I'm glad you like them, Anna," Elsa's words were soft, but her feelings glowed strongly.

Anna simmered with equal affection for her sister. "Of course, Elsa. The dress, and Kristoff's suit, are wonderful."

"Yeah," Jack playfully reached out and made a grab for the larger man's jacket. "I want to try it on! Elsa never makes one for me."

Elsa had done a fine job of tailoring a suit to fit Kristoff so that he almost looked comfortable – at least before Jack was trying to strip him down. The three-buttoned, single-breasted black suit jacket formed to Kristoff's broad-shoulder physique. The green tie fastened at his neck was the same color, and perhaps identical material, of Anna's dress. The same could be said for the gold pocket square expertly folded in his coat pocket. If the body language of Anna and Kristoff was not enough of an indicator of their marital status, their matching clothes would get the job done.

After a moment's a struggle and a threat of tickling, Kristoff relented with an exaggerated sigh and permitted Jack to slip on the clothing. Without a second thought, Jack threw his own, old jacket at Kristoff's head before trying on the new article. He slipped into the jacket and was almost instantly swimming in it, but the fact that it was with Elsa's care it came into existence, he had little intention of taking it off any time soon. Also, seeing Kristoff's blatant struggle to fit into Jack's jacket was too priceless to bring to a halt.

"I don't think that's quite your size," Elsa said slowly.

"Which one are you talking to?" Anna asked.

After a moment of consideration, Elsa answered, "Both of them."

"Well," Jack adjusted the collar as he imagined a member of the Mafia or James Bond would, "it's not every day you get to wear an Elsa original. And you guys have, like, 300 at least. So I'm keeping this." He jokingly began to step away – saw they had someone joining them – and quickly rooted himself.

"You know Kristoff," Jim molded himself to Elsa's other side, and with great dexterity distributed glasses of wine to the ex-residents of Arendelle, starting with Elsa and ending with Kristoff. "If you needed a jacket that bad, you could have just asked me." Once finished he rested his hand on the small of Elsa's back and leaned into her and muttered something unintelligible with the loud jazz music and voices circulating around them.

A secret smile spread across her face.

Kristoff sighed and physically struggled to point to Jack as he began to explain, "This guy –"

Jack spoke over Kristoff's would-be response. "I think he looks sexy." He growled for good measure. "Just look at those muscles!" And to be fair, considering Jack's jacket sleeves would not go past Kristoff's forearms, his biceps were plenty accentuated.

"While you're admiring him," Jim grinned and gestured with his glass to Kristoff, and then migrated his glass over to Elsa and Anna, "I can't take my eyes off these two."

Both Elsa and Anna were immediately smiling, and Anna playfully smacked Elsa's arm. "Oh, what a charmer!" Elsa flushed under the implied compliment and glanced towards Jim. He smiled at her upon catching her gaze.

Jack muttered, "I think they look good, too." But much quieter and with less gusto.

As Jack quieted, Anna and Kristoff engaged Jim in further conversation, thanking him for getting their drinks earlier and expressing inquiries regarding the state of his recovery. Jack could tell from the way Anna lightly bounced on her toes that she was bursting at the seam with questions regarding Jim and Elsa, but for the sake of her sister walked around the subject. He also noticed the princess's eyes glancing in his direction at a frequency more than above coincidence. He played oblivious and avoided her gaze.

Instead, Jack watched Elsa; how her shoulders had been stiff since Jim returned, how her upper torso tilted in Jim's direction, and how she slowly traced her thumb up and down the stem of her wine glass as Jim spoke. Furthermore, Jack was not exactly pleased with the fact that Jim's hand still occupied Elsa's back.

Jack interrupted Jim mid-sentence. "So, Astroboy," Jim's cordial expression dropped to a challenging smirk at the use of one of the many special nicknames Jack held just for him. "How come you all are armed and I'm not?"

Anna cupped half her mouth and stage whispered, "Uh, does this have to do with the case that you can't really talk about but will be taking up your time at the Ball and we should all be super-duper careful about?"

Elsa and Jim shared a look as Elsa answered, "Yes."

Anna bit her lip in a fashion Jack had seen many times done by Elsa. "And this is a case where you think guns will be needed? Like, right here?" She looked around nervously.

The Snow Queen placed a comforting hand on her sister's shoulder. "I highly doubt they'll get any use. They're more of a precaution."

Anna slumped in relief, "Oh, good." Though Jack could tell Arendelle's princess was not entirely convinced, she trusted her sister.

Kristoff addressed Jack's initial question and crossed his arms. "Why exactly would you expect to be given one? Aren't you still doing volunteer work for crimes you've committed against Fabletown?" Kristoff asked despite already knowing the answer. Anna's cheeks puffed to physically hold back a snort.

Jack smirked, "Uh, I'd say they're not so much as crimes against Fabletown as they are methods of enlivening the community."

Elsa matched Jack's expression, reached out to pat his cheek, and lightly stated, "And it is that attitude that sustains the cleanliness of my office." Her touch left the feeling of white-hot firecrackers across his skin. Jack was mildly surprised, yet pleased she initiated contact with him. Elsa was seldom physically familiar with others (particularly in public), save her sister, but perhaps it was the festive mood of the Fables aiding her shift in boundaries. Or the chardonnay.

Jack laughed, along with the other members of their social circle. "I know. I'm like one of those sexy men you hire to clean your pool. But better."

Elsa raised a brow, "And how's that?"

"Uh, I work for free? Hello." He sang. More snickers from the majority of the group, and he continued, "Which is why I definitely need some protection here. If there are Fables snatching up the attractive bachelors of Fabletown, who is in more danger than me?" Jack gestured to his face and then ran his fingers down his torso. "This face, this body: this is grade A material we're working with here."

"Oh yes, definitely," Anna said, though whether or not she was agreeing with Jack or carrying on with the joke was up for debate. Elsa rested her face lightly in her hands and Kristoff sent her a mock sympathetic look. Jim scoffed and shook his head, though a smile was fighting its way across his face.

Jack saw an opening.

"Jim, you dashing spaceman, you," He slipped between Jim and Elsa and swung his arm over the diplomat's shoulder. "You have to protect me!" He could feel behind him Jim's hand part from Elsa's torso.

Jim stepped forward in a move to situate himself back next to Elsa. "I think you'll be fine."

Jack caught Jim's arm, half yelled, "Quick! To the dance floor!" And took off running as quick as he could with a resisting captive. He called over his shoulder, "We'll be safe there!" Jack could just make out Elsa yelling his name in protest and Kristoff asking for his coat back.

The struggle Jim provided was short-lived, and soon they slipped through their friends with as much ease as possible when hundreds of Fables are crowded in one room. Those who noticed the duo laughed and applauded, especially once they arrived in front of the live band playing where the dance floor resided.

One of the few Fables who had removed their Glamour upon entering the Fables-only establishment, Louis the crocodile, was playing his trumpet to a low, sultry rhythm alongside Roger Radcliffe, who was on the piano. The dance floor was purely made up of couples pinned to one another, and Jack mildly wondered if he had made a mistake. He talked over his doubts and said over the music to Jim, "Right here, right now, dance off!"

Jim laughed and said, "Yeah, no. If we're going to do this, we're going to do this right." And gestured to the dancing couples around them.

Jack took hold of Jim's hands and began swinging him around. Jim had to keep his stance wide to keep up with the uncoordinated jerks and thrusts Jack was leading him with. At one point Jim was nearly thrown into Aladdin and Jasmine, the prince and princess of Agrabah, and the two sent them dirty looks in warning. Another close encounter was with Metrocity's heroes Megamind and Roxane Ritchie, but their reaction was much more bemused. It did not take too long for couples to give Jack and Jim a wider birth when they could help it to avoid collision. Eventually, Jack had the wherewithal to cut their movements by half so he was leading Jim in a mostly slow rock from side-to-side.

Jack nodded his head toward the Fables surrounding them and declared, "These guys have nothing on us."

Jim playfully rolled his eyes and tilted his head toward the musicians on stage, "Sure. You know you're off-tempo, right?"

Jack clicked his tongue. "Uh, I'm dancing to the rhythm of our turgid affair, fueled by the beat of our hearts. Duh." He almost stumbled again, but the two caught themselves.

Jim loftily corrected in a tone that reminded Jack greatly of Kristoff, "Did you say 'turgid' affair? I don't think you used that word correctly."

Jack ignored his comment. "Milo will be heartbroken, but clearly our love is simply too strong to ignore. We'll have to be gentle, when we break the news to him."

Jim snorted and shut his eyes as his shoulders shook with laughter. Jack was grinning and laughing himself, and the two managed to knock into the mostly ex-conmen: Miguel and Tulio. The two couples righted themselves, and the latter were mirroring cheeky grins as they gave Jim and Jack a good and suggestive onceover.

"Okay," Jim took advantage of Jack's distraction from the minor collision to tear his hands away from him. "I think it's my turn."

Jack was momentarily confused, and managed a quick, "Wait, what?" as Jim guided Jack's right hand to his left so that they were palm-to-palm, and Jack's left hand to Jim's right forearm. Jack was suddenly aware as Jim placed his right hand on Jack's back, and the two were almost chest-to-chest, that he might have made a mistake.

Miguel uttered a flirtatious purr at the pair.

"He does like to see a man take initiative," Tulio supplied with a laugh.

Jack had a close view of Jim giving the couple a suave smirk and wink. Jim then faced Jack so he could feel the heat of the diplomat's breath as he said with confidence, "I'm going to lead."

As if on cue, the flavor of music shifted with the glide of piano keys, and Jack found himself carried into a waltz. The unasked question that began to form in his mind was quickly silenced from the onslaught of recollections of Jim on the dance floor over the centuries. Silver's voice echoed from hundreds of occasions where he would loudly brag about Jim's talents, one of which being able to dance. From what Jack had picked up over the years, at the Naval Academy Jim had attended before the Great Conqueror's invasion, he had been required to study the art and had kept up his learning as a diplomat for Fabletown.

Jack kept himself tilted away from his partner, despite the strain on his upper back and neck, as he was suddenly significantly less enthusiastic with his position. He felt rather uncomfortable with Jim's breath on him, even if it wasn't a bad smell. He was not too fond of the fact that he was stepping between Jim's legs, and Jim was stepping between his own, and that their pelvises were pretty much touching. He was not too thrilled with the fact that he could tell Jim's chest felt like a rock under his clothes since Jack's own chest was pressed up against it. He also did not like that even through the layers of jacket and collared shirt, he could feel Jim's thick bicep flexing to a degree that left him making mental comparisons to his own. For good measure, Jack pulled his shoulders back and hoped his own muscles would be just as, if not more, visible to onlookers. Alas, the oversized jacket gave him the appearance of a child trying on his father's clothes.

"You know," Jack said in a voice he hoped sounded as lighthearted as before, "Milo does have quite the temper. This would probably set him off. Real jealous type."

"I think we'll be okay," Jim's smirk seemed permanently etched into his face at this point; especially once he spun them around so Jack had a good view over Jim's shoulder of Milo who was amidst the crowd watching and laughing into his glass so hard he started choking on his drink.

"What a brave face he's put on," Jack sighed.

"He has more courage than most give credit," Jim said and Jack was mildly surprised by the casual, but earnest compliment Jim paid the bespectacled Fable.

"Yeah, he is pretty cool." Jack agreed as they pivoted again. His view shifted so that different Fables came into view, particularly the three they had previously resided with. Kristoff's previous annoyance with losing his jacket seemed to be lost at the sight of their antics, and his smile refused to break; Anna leaned against her husband, holding her stomach and laughing without restraint; and Elsa held both her own and Jim's glass in either hand, and was watching them with a mixture of glee and disbelief he could feel from afar.

Jack could also tell, from the way her eyes expertly followed their movements as they traveled across the floor, and the thoughtful smile adorned on her face, she was impressed.

But not with him.

He had most definitely made a mistake.

(I'd like to tell you everything I see)

Tiana knew she should have shot down Silver when he asked for her help in whatever it was that he had planned for this evening. Thirty minutes in and there was absolutely no sign of the sheriff. Normally she was more than patient when it came to individuals with incredibly busy schedules, but he had asked her: therefore, she was the one doing him the favor. So the least he could do is show up on time!

She had even delegated this evening! She had placed Kronk in charge of catering as he had a knack for working in the kitchen – she was still playfully sore Elsa had snagged him for the secretary job. Tiana was glad Kronk was able to step in, but now she was left with little to do. Twice she migrated to the kitchens to see where she could lend a hand, but things were running so smoothly, she acknowledged even her presence would be unnecessary and redundant.

Instead, she took her time greeting and mildly catching up with Fables. It was a perfectly wonderful pastime that fueled her love of people, but after the fifth time she was asked about the sheriff's whereabouts and if she had been stood up, she decided to try to take some sort of initiative.

Stitch was the first she was able to locate, leaning up against the wall and scanning the crowd intently. He gave her a small salute when she approached him.

"Ohufi, Tiana," Stitch greeted once she was within hearing range.

Tiana smiled and said hello, assuming that what Stitch had said was a greeting of some sort. "Have you seen Silver?"

Stitch shook his head, not taking his eyes off the dance floor. "Stitch naga see Bossman."

She exhaled long and slow and took a position next to the disguised alien. "Well he sure knows how to keep a woman waitin'."

Stitch shrugged his shoulders but otherwise said nothing. A puff of air escaped Tiana's lips.

The two were quiet for a short time. Tiana assumed Stitch was uncomfortable with any conversation that would consist of badmouthing his superior, and therefore did not press the matter. No need to cause further tension among Fables, especially when whoever killed Naveen was somewhere on the premises. She peered further into the crowd of people, picking out all the familiar faces donned in beautiful clothes and clustered in groups of companionship. Here or there she could pick out someone she didn't quite recognize, such as a man with wild red hair and a ridiculously large hat (indoors, no less!) speaking with the White Rabbit, but there were so many Fables, even after all these years, she could not know all of them. While many had done deeds before arriving in this world not so savory, the idea that someone would do something terrible now … it was unsettling.

She rubbed her arms.

"You don't think somethin's wrong, do you?"

Stitch broke away from his vigil and finally looked at Tiana. She found it fascinating how his mannerisms carried over into his Glamoured form: in this case she found familiarity in his sigh, and his motion to look up at her despite the fact that he currently towered over her. "Silver is okie-taka. Silver checking few things, then will be here as Tiana's boojiboo."

Now that was a term Tiana was familiar with. "This isn't a date. We're not dating. This right here, is business."

Stitch raised a brow as he looked her up and down. "Okie-taka, Tiana."

Tiana scowled and lightly stroked her loose curls. She knew how she looked: while she always put effort into her appearance, for Remembrance Day she enjoyed pampering herself with some extra umph. For the event she had gone natural, literally and figuratively letting her hair down for the event. Tiana also opted to shift in her color palette and wear a red fringed dress from her flapper days. She purposely wore it, as it was fun to move in and Lottie had mentioned within the past year how she wanted to see Tiana in it again. "I am proud to say I am dressing up for myself." Her gold hoop earrings tickled her neck as she tilted her head. "So kindly don't go makin' assumptions."

He held up his hands in defense, but his skeptical expression did not drop.

Tiana checked her rose gold watch. It was almost time for the Ceremonial Reading. Other Fables seemed to come to the same realization, for many were beginning to drift toward the stage where the Mayor would replace the live band.

"I'm gonna go look for Elsa. You haven't seen her by any chance, have you?" Even if they weren't one another's unofficial dates this year, she still wanted to share in the company of her friend. The idea of listening to the sermon would feel incomplete without Elsa.

Stitch pointed towards the crowd surrounding the dance floor. She should have just checked herself considering the time: it was right in front of the stage.

Tiana said, "Thank you. And do send Silver in my direction when you see him," and made her way over.

Searching for Elsa was not as difficult as Tiana initially feared. While there were plenty of blondes making up the space to confuse her with, the only one who had fairer hair was Jack or those who reached physical old age before the magic of Fable status encompassed their being. Tiana tapped Elsa and Anna on the shoulders and was gifted with hello's and hugs and then an invitation to watch the spectacle that had captured their attention.

Instead of some sort of spectacular, yet ill-placed dance off as Tiana would have expected, Jack and Jim were engaged in ballroom dancing. She did not know much about dancing, but their movements at least looked good to her. It was also easy for her to deduce that Jim was taking the lead; if not from the means he physically steered them, then the playful taunt stretched across his face compared to Jack's pout that surfaced between bouts of forced laughter.

"Poor Jack," Tiana sympathized.

Anna shrugged, "To be fair, it was Jack who dragged Jim out here, so this is sort of karma."

"If you say so…" Tiana watched as Jack struggled to push back his oversized sleeve despite the fact that his arms were otherwise occupied. "Remind me next year to help him find a more fitted coat." As far as she was concerned, that thing flopping about him was not doing him any favors.

"Actually," Kristoff held up a jacket that was too small for him to wear and she put two-and-two together before he finished, "Jack insisted we trade. And by 'insisted,' I mean pretty much stole my jacket and chucked this at me." He shook the item for good measure.

"Jack wanted an Elsa original." Anna explained as she elbowed her sister. Tiana noted her friend had a slight frown, which turned into a grimace once Elsa turned to Tiana. She didn't need any exchange of words to know Elsa's take on the matter. She wondered how much Elsa was mentally berating herself for not giving Jack his own. Tiana honestly had privately wondered why Elsa never made something for him over the years, but figured it was none of her business and never posed the question.

"It is understandable; your clothes are always lovely in design," Tiana said lightly. She gave Kristoff a sympathetic look. "I'm sure he'll give it back."

Tiana and the Fables around her gradually picked up on the dwindling music. Those who had been dancing stilled in front of the stage, and the rest of the Fables began to fill in the space. The group met Jack and Jim, the two shared quick greetings with Tiana, and then redirected their attention forward.

The two musicians on stage bowed together, then fair-haired Englishman, Roger, stood to full height while Louis, a rotund alligator, quickly packed away his instrument.

Roger approached the podium situated center stage, and the establishment quieted. He cleared his throat as his long, slender fingers adjusted his tie. "I hope you all enjoyed that, Ladies and Gentlemen. Me and the ol' chap here certainly had a good time."

The crocodile waved to the crowd at the reference to himself. Fables applauded.

Tiana beamed up at her old companion. Louis seemed as at home on stage playing music as she did running her restaurants. Even though they were far from their home world, he was able to make his dream to play music for others a reality.

Roger continued, "I would now like to invite our Mayor on stage for our traditional, annual reading. Come on down, Sir."

Tiana cheered alongside the rest of the Fables as a flash of white flew over their heads. A few gasps and chuckles were mixed in with the noise as hair and clothes were adjusted to accommodate for the unexpected breeze. Elsa grumbled something next to her, but amidst the noise, there was no way for Tiana to make out her words. Knowing the Deputy Mayor, she probably uttered a long-since exhausted complaint regarding the Mayor who was all show, little action.

The Mayor gently landed behind the podium and bent over to shake hands with Roger Radcliffe. The ruggedly handsome man was larger than life, easily towering over all other humanoid Fables. Roger's hand was maybe half the size of the Mayor's as far as Tiana could tell. The two musicians took their leave as the Mayor faced the crowd, adjusted the fit of his white, three-button suit and tie, and then ran his hands through his styled, thick brown hair. With a confident smile, he waved.

The name "Metro Man" was chorused throughout the building by its inhabitants.

"Citizens of Fabletown," his deep voice boomed with the aid of his own strength and the mic in front of him. "Welcome to our 300th Anniversary of Remembrance Day. To commemorate the occasion, may I begin with opening The Book."

Metro Man held up a golden book five and a half inches thick. The Book held their history, their rules, and the Sacred Reading. All quieted in its presence. He set it back down on the podium and flipped to the first few pages where Tiana knew the Sacred Reading resided.

"Once we were a thousand separate kingdoms, worlds, and times, spread over a hundred worlds. We were kings and cobblers. Wizards or woodcarvers. Spacemen and time-travelers. We had our sinners, our saints, and our blatant social climbers. And from Emperors to adventurers, we were, for the most part, strangers to one another." He paused for a breath. "It took an invasion to unite us."

The collected audience bowed their heads.

"Beyond the farthest shores of even Neverland, the Great Conqueror lived in a remote kingdom, ignored by other powers as his strength and ambitions grew over the long centuries. Some say he was a mere woodland fairy while others claimed he was once a God – thrown down from the vast Heavens when his corruptions had become too great for his lofty brethren to tolerate. Whatever his true origins, he grew into a dark thing of infinite hunger. And after he'd conquered his own lands, sentencing each of its former kings to death, he turned his unquenchable appetite in our direction.

"When the Land of the Lions fell we tisk-tisked and tut-tutted in our homes … sad for the fates of those unfortunate souls, but we weren't tempted to intervene. After all, they were nothing but self-ruled animals, and ever so far away. It wasn't our business. Then the kingdom of Camelot fell, and again, we did nothing, because we always found Arthur to be too young for the crown, and it was thus expected his country would fall under his rule."

Those close to Merlin spared the rarely quiet wizard a glance. He removed his glasses to better wipe his watering eyes.

"And one by one, our scattered lands fell under the Great Conqueror's dominion, swallowed up into his ever growing empire. Had we banded together early, we might have been able to stop him. By the time we realized that he wasn't merely interested in conquering that land, or those people – that he was coming after all of us – it was too late. He'd grown too powerful. Many of us didn't have the chance to run.

"Some of us survived. Too few. Alone, or in small groups, over the span of many years – of lifetimes – we hid and ran and avoided capture. We lived as outlaws and phantoms. Until we could make our way here, to this dreary mundane place: the one world the Great Conqueror seemed to take no interest in.

"And here, united by our common enemy, we learned to set aside old grudges. We forgave our many grievances to make covenant with each other. And now, predator and prey, prince and pauper, we are all of a single community – allied in our undying memory of the homelands and the unshakable determination that one day we will return to win those lands free of the hated one.

"Elsewhere throughout the city, tonight in private homes … and in the upstate homes, where our more inhuman members dwell … and our sister towns around the world … other glasses are raised, by those who couldn't be with us here tonight but are still citizens of Fabletown, and are equally determined never to forget."

Metro Man raised his gaze from the thick text and he picked up his drink, "Ladies and gentlemen, lift your glasses and join me, please, in drinking this toast. To the Homelands."

Tiana chorused with the rest of the Fables, "To the Homelands," and sipped her wine with a satisfactory gulp. The Amerone spun a web of rich flavors in her mouth – she could almost taste coffee, or maybe raspberry – until it settled on a very bitter aftertaste. She rotated her wrist to create a small whirlpool in the glass. The thought in her mind was that the taste was perhaps more appropriate for their circumstance than she had initially intended.

She downed another sip of her drink and excused herself to catch up with Louis. Tiana wanted to appreciate and compliment his playing as always, but even more, she had a sudden urge to catch up with a Fable from her home world.

(Cause she thinks she's the passionate one)

The street was mostly empty outside of Fable City Hall. A few people were outside smoking cigarettes, while the valet had previously situated himself on the other side of the entrance to avoid the smoke. The young-looking Fable made a few swipes in the air, play fighting a make-believe foe. Silver recognized the boy as Taran, a scrawny Fable whose head was up in the clouds frequently enough that holding down a job long since proved difficult. He also held great resentment toward many since the Black Cauldron was taken out of his hands. A bad case of immaturity and entitlement, Silver reckoned. Last he had heard the lad was working part time at one of Tiana's restaurants.

Silver heaved himself out of his truck, minding the step down with his mechanical leg, and Taran stilled. Eagerly, and a little bashfully, he greeted the ex-pirate and held his hand out for Silver's car keys. Silver righted himself and dumped them in Taran's much smaller hands. He thought to himself the boy could use a few more callouses.

"Thank you, Sheriff," Taran's smile was forced as he played with the keys in his hands.

Silver tucked his dress shirt for the third time that night. "Me givin' ye me keys is not somethin' ter thank me for." He held up his arms, balled his hands into fists, and held them up as if he were to begin to box. "Ye want ter thank me, how bout learnin' the proper way ter fight. Hold up yer hands like this. Way ya doin' it, ye'd sooner win a dance with a fairy!"

Taran flushed and poorly concealed his grumble with another: "Thank you, Sheriff." Silver grinned but would not leave Taran alone until he repeated the motion to the ex-pirate's satisfaction.

Eventually Silver patted him roughly on the shoulder, "Ye practice just like that, lad. Do ye some good." His laugh resembled a dog's bark as he waved to the grumbling valet and entered the establishment.

Every year Silver found himself impressed with the transformation of the inside of Fable City Hall. Gone were the walls filled with organized memorabilia, plaques in the name of the Mayor, and Kronk's welcome desk, and instead blue and gold decorations covered the walls and ceiling. The double doors to the ball room were wide open, and a heavyset gentleman in a brown suit broke away from his conversation with an upright, talking white dog with glasses.

"Come in, come in, John," the usher Cogsworth spoke with more familiarity than necessary. "Awfully late you know." Cogsworth seemed to realize his slip, for he hastily put on a bright smile and added, "Not that that's a problem, of course! I, I'm sure you have a plenty good reason to have kept Mademoiselle Tiana waiting. Not that it's that late, but the Ceremonial Reading is over, as well as the official thank you's and appreciations and …"

Silver brushed past Cogsworth.

Fables tended to react in one of two ways when they saw him: fearful or friendly. There was very little in-between. The majority of those he towered over made room for him like oil from water and avoided his gaze or offered meek hellos. Those who worked in close quarters with him in Fable City Hall, or frequented The Pub almost as much as he, were much warmer in their greetings. He had long since stopped trying to campaign for the public's affection on a mass basis, but that didn't stop him from trying when he had a more one-on-one opportunities.

"Silver!" He slowed at the sound of the doctor, Joshua's, voice amidst the crowd.

Joshua offered him a one-armed hug in greeting. The younger, thinner Hiro approached alongside the doctor. The two were sipping beer.

"Sweet, and the Lil' Tyke," Silver's greeted with a broad smile. Hiro scowled. Silver's smile broadened. "I didn' know Tiana be servin' the good drink."

Joshua smiled in turn, though his quick glance to the side and uncomfortable chuckle spelled out mild guilt. "Well, she didn't."

"We snuck it in." Hiro said proudly. He opened his jacket to reveal a concealed paper bag. "Local stuff. Way cooler than stuffy, old wine."

Silver held out his hand, "So I'll be havin' that."

Hiro's expression dropped. "What? Aw, come on!" He didn't resist as Silver took it from his hands.

"Yeh dummy. Ye just showed an officer of the law, the sheriff, an alcoholic beverage ye snuck into a government building. What'd ye expect?" The Sheriff rolled down the top of the bag and sipped from the open bottle. He downed three good gulps, smacked his lips, and belched. Better now than in the presence of women. "Tastes mighty fine, Sweet. Though not partic'larly sweet." He chuckled at his own joke. "This be some o' yer homebrew, right?" He handed it back to a disgusted Hiro.

"You've got a good memory for beer, Silver," Dr. Sweet nodded. "Yeah, it's from my stock."

"Good man."

"Whatever," Hiro shoved the drink back into Silver's hands. "Why'd you drink straight from it, man? Gross …" He stormed off.

The two remaining Fables shared laughter at Hiro's expense. After a moment of light mirth, Joshua cleared his throat. "He wasn't exactly wrong: that was nasty. But, I have too much at home to care."

"I'd drink ter that, but I've seem to run out meself." Sweet joined Silver in his chuckles as the sheriff held up his empty hands. "Plus, I should be gettin' ter Tiana: late it be."

"Not a problem," Sweet patted Silver's shoulder. "I just came over to say hi. And to give you a head's up I was reimbursed for the empty blood bags."

Silver frowned, processing what the doctor said. "Did Elsa do that? I be under the impression we had an accord: on account of it bein' a murder investigation, and blood transfusions aren't a regular thing, ye were givin' us them ter use out o' the good o' yer heart."

Joshua shook his head and waved his hand. "No, no, I mean the ones that went missing about what, half a year ago? Remember that? A couple of dozen gone. I thought Baymax maybe misplaced them, but the robot had no memory, and Hiro would hear none of it. I know it wasn't the most interesting or pressing of cases, but I thought you'd like to know. One less thing to worry about."

Silver was silent, long enough for Joshua to ask, "Is everything all right?"

The large man shook himself out of his thoughts. He clapped Joshua on the shoulder, and with a brightness he hadn't felt in the longest time, declared, "I t'ink everythin' be about ter be. Now, I best be off. Tiana's been waitin' long enough."

"No kidding. I'll catch up with you later."

"And if not tonight, there be a good chance ye'll find me at The Pub."

Locating Tiana proved easy thanks to Kronk's loud and boisterous voice that included her name in conversation. He, and the tall, ginger bodybuilder Hercules, were beacons amidst all the Fables. As Silver neared, he found Tiana was indeed present as he had hoped, as well as Jack. She wore a rich red dress that danced around her at the smallest breath of movement. Silver thought to himself that his old crew would not believe the beauty he was going to have on his arm this night. To his advantage, she seemed a little bored from the manner she kept sipping from her glass and looking at no one. He didn't blame her. The conversation had drifted to workouts regimes by the time he had arrived.

"I tell you, it's difficult finding weights that work for our strength on this world." Kronk's upbeat tone did not match the content of his words. "If I didn't have Hercules' gym, I'd have to go back to benching fallen trees. Let me tell you, there's nothing quite like trying to balance a tree above your head."

"How about an 18-wheeler?" Hercules countered.

"Haha, I doubt I could lift that, but I see your point," Kronk laughed, "We're not all blessed with super strength."

"Yeah," Jack rolled back his shoulders and puffed out his chest. "Be considerate, Herc. Not everyone is as amazingly super buff as you and me." He held up his arm and flexed it, though the muscles were hardly visible under the large jacket he wore.

"There ye be," Silver lumbered over to Tiana. He figured thinking she'd appreciate a break from the muscle heads - and Jack. He waved to the men in the circle and steered her away by holding out his arm and waiting for her to take it. With little hesitation she took him up on his silent offer and they left the group. He noted how her hands seemed so small compared to his limb. It also occurred to him that even though Tiana had gone with him, she did not seem pleased.

"Silver," her right brow was raised high and her lips were pursed. "I was beginning to think I was stood up."

He had hoped she would be less upset with him, though he knew she had every reason to be annoyed. Both of them liked a tight regimen. He wasn't exactly proud he had been delayed. "Me apologies, Tiana. I be held up dealin' with an upset Mim and finishin' with some other things related ter tonight."

Tiana's eyebrows resumed their normal distance above her dark eyes and her lips loosened, but she still was not smiling.

He slowed in his walk as they neared the dance floor. Silver scanned the Fables who occupied the space and was pleased to find Jim and Elsa among those present. He felt rather pleased his pseudo-matchmaking seemed to be working in his, and more importantly, Jim's favor.

Silver turned to Tiana, and enjoyed the fire lit up from beneath her skin. Whether it was from the color of her clothes, or her current annoyance (well the latter he would not actually enjoy), he appreciated the view, and even more her.

"Any way I can make it up ter ye with a dance?"

Silver watched Tiana's edge redirect itself to a prickle of discomfort. She looked at the dancers doubtfully. "I … don't really dance."

He paused in his movements and regarded her closely. "If ye really don't want ter, I'm not gonna force ye. I just figured ye'd enjoy yerself, after havin' ter wait so long fer this stupidly late pirate."

Finally, a small smile, and she admitted, "Silver, I never really learned how. I would slow you down." Tiana's smile and bashfulness seemed to grow, as well as his affection for her.

So he laughed. "Ah, then ye should know, I don't have a lick o' know how ter dance, meself." Then with a wink, he added, "An ye know, if we're on this outin' together, ye might as well call me by me first name."

Tiana's eyelids fluttered in surprise, and then she joined in with her own chuckles once she managed, "If that's what you want, John." He warmed at the way it sounded coming from her. "But why on earth would you suggest dancing, then?"

"Seemed the gent'manly thing ter do. Especially after me late arrival."

"No kiddin'."

What a night. Here he was, a Sheriff with a case pretty much solved, and a beautiful woman on his arm, laughing at his jokes. If only this night had been focused solely on wooing her. But alas, he had business to attend to; business that would require her presence. "But ter be honest wit' ye, if ye have little interest in dancin' I'll be makin' me way up ter the roof. It'd be mighty helpful, if ye'd join me."

Tiana drew away from his touch, and Silver sensed she may have misunderstood his intentions.

"It's precisely fer what will happen on the roof," Silver pointed above them, "in about twenty minutes," he then held up a second finger, "that will require especially your presence," he pointed at Tiana. Her head tilted back. "Out of all presences ter conclude this case."

Tiana's jaw dropped, her lips forming a small 'o'. "You don't mean to say…"

The Sheriff drew back his shoulders, standing to full height, and looked down at her so he could meet her gaze. "That's right. This night, I'll be finishin' this case, and revealin' the culprit who did in Naveen."

(and the man in the back said everyone attack)

Jack found himself surrounded by dozens of muttering, yet curious Fables. At first Silver had Tiana announce that an after-party would take place at the Mayor's penthouse on the roof and Fables were invited to come along if they wished. If it weren't for the fact that Metro Man always hosted an after-party in his penthouse, Jack would have been surprised Silver had gotten permission. The hour was getting late, so those with young ones to get to, or were too tired, were disinclined. However, the active bachelors, bachelorettes, and generally more energetic members of Fabletown were happy to make their appearance. Once on the roof and enough had gathered, Silver seemed to have changed his mind about keeping the case on the down-low, as he publicly revealed information regarding the death of Prince Naveen and how his killer was still at large.

Kronk and Joshua stood on either side of the door to Metro Man's living quarters, as well as the only safe exit from the roof. While no threats were exchanged, no Fable dared to pass through the two large men.

So far "the plan" seemed to be going as expected and Silver was preparing for the great reveal. Jack had thought Silver would have told him who had done it already – Stitch certainly seemed to have an inkling – but it seemed he was going to have to wait along with everybody else.

A little annoyed, Jack would have opted out, but after all the time and energy he had put into the investigation, he definitely wanted to know who killed Naveen. If it wasn't Mim, then who in the world could it be? He, among others, were habitually looking around, trying to pick out any individual who looked suspicious. However, there were just enough Fables present who were not too fond of Naveen and had some questionable history prior to the Forgiveness Act, that Jack had no clue. Stitch and Milo, especially after reconvening with Silver acted like they knew, but Jack chose to believe they were bluffing.

Jack's only other option would be to wait in his room by himself and that would just be no fun at all.

He shifted his weight from foot to foot, waiting with growing anticipation along with the rest of the Fables.

The big fatso sure was milking this.

Silver was seated between them and the pool, resting his peg leg on a stool. His jacket and tie were gone, and he had unbuttoned the front of his shirt so his undershirt and large stomach could more comfortably hang. While waiting for the Fables to finish organizing themselves he was using a mechanical toothpick from his robotic arm to pick his teeth.

He did not exactly scream "Sheriff," but then again, he rarely did.

Tiana was seated next to him, and her unease seemed to be growing. Jack waved to her for support, but her response was much less enthusiastic. She kept glancing over at Silver, avoiding looking at the crowd who was increasingly staring at her, and drawing conclusions: if it weren't for her thriving business, all would agree she had the most reason to be scorned. The Sheriff gave Tiana a few comforting pats, but otherwise offered her little instruction.

Finally, Silver heaved himself up to a standing position and the crowd seemed to hold its breath.

"Well," Silver clapped his hands together, then spread them apart, as if welcoming all of them, "This righ' here takes me back. Haven' had a crowd like this listenin' ter me every word since, since before the days o' the Great Conqueror. Feels good, it does."

"Aw come on," Jack voiced his thoughts and what he had a pretty good idea was the collective opinion of all Fables present. "Enough with all the chitchat – get to the good stuff!"

Silver scowled and looked right at him and pointed his mechanical arm at him. "Quiet, boy. The Sheriff be talkin', and this be probably a once in a lifetime opportunity."

Jack couldn't help it, he continued to vocalize his incredulity. "To have a murder case?"

"Nay! This here be every detective's dream: ter have a great big audience, ter have a complicated case, and ter have the opportunity ter have the great reveal. Get to show off how clever me bein', and bring all the clues together fer yeh, and yeh all can ogle at me cleverness. And there be so few chances for such a t'ing, so do be kind as ter indulge me."

Jack stuffed his hands into his pant pockets and closed his mouth.

"Now, Tiana," she looked up to Silver and then stood herself, clearly uncomfortable and confused as to why she needed to be there as well. Jack was a little annoyed on her behalf. The least the Sheriff could have done is clue her in. But then again, despite what others repeatedly said on the Sheriff's behalf, 'compassion' was not a word Jack readily assigned to him. "Do ye see anyone who be lookin' a wee bit familiar?"

She turned to the crowd for the first time that night. Her eyes squinted, clearly not sure who she was supposed to see. Then her eyes bulged, her jaw dropped, and her expression shifted from one of shock to outright fury in less than a second.

"You have got to be kidding me!"

Jack felt movement and a cluster of "hey's" but Stitch moved quickly and soon emerged from the crowd, toting an unwilling Fable with him. The man was struggling greatly, blond curly hair shaking wildly, but it was to no avail with the Glamoured Stitch dragging him along. After all, Stitch could lift three thousand times his own size.

Stitch continued walking and then with very little ceremony tossed the Fable into the pool.

Jack was the only one who emitted a small chuckle.

Tiana and Silver both turned to face the water as well; the restaurant-owner radiating disbelief and a rapidly growing anger, and the Sheriff looking quite pleased with himself.

Jack watched as the Fable reemerged from the water, sputtering as he gasped for air. The man was quite a sight: sopping wet so his clothes hung heavy, his blond wig floating like a drowned rat in the pool while his dark, curly hair was askew, and a large, hooked nose hung awkwardly off his face to reveal his smaller, straighter one.

Prince Naveen lifted himself out of the pool.

Tiana stepped back as he hoisted himself up, whether to avoid being splashed or being near her ex-husband, Jack wasn't sure.

Voices erupted.

"How in all the hells?"

"B-b-b-but there was so much blood!"

"Which we had to clean," Jack grumbled.

"I demand an explanation!"

"Naveen!"

"How did you pull a trick like this?"

"Why did you do this?"

"Tax-payer's money …!"

"Now, now," Naveen ripped the prosthetic nose off his face, winced, and then sheepishly smiled. "It is, not as bad as it seems?"

Tiana was shaking, and Jack did not miss how Silver moved so that he was in-between the ex-spouses. She bit out, "You selfish, egotistical –! We all thought you were dead!"

Naveen used his hands to try and smooth his wet hair down but it sprung back up, to no avail. "Yes, but see, that was kind of the point, no?"

Jack had never in his life seen Tiana want to punch someone.

"Tiana," Silver turned his back on Naveen, placing his thick hands on her shoulders, and gave her a gentle smile worthy of Jack's eye roll. "Ye've played yer part, so if ye'd be kind enough as ter go back to the others, Elsa mayhaps, I can get ter the explainin', of how and why Naveen did all o' this."

Tiana slumped under his hands, said something quiet enough Jack couldn't hear, and did the most elegant trudge Jack had ever seen. A few Fables away, Elsa emerged and embraced her friend with open arms. Jack did not miss the dirty look the Deputy Mayor sent Naveen as she held Tiana, nor Naveen's exaggerated shiver.

Jack oddly enough felt a warm pulse shoot up through his core at the sight of her, and her protective loyalty. That was Elsa.

Silver cleared his throat as he pulled out a flask, tilted his head back, and gulped loudly. Jack could hear Hiro somewhere among the Fables complaining loudly that it was unfair Silver could sneak in a drink without consequences.

"Despite what ye see on tv," Silver started yet another monologue. Jack wished he would finish up already so he wouldn't have to hear him speak. "The typical cop's life can best be described as unending hours of mind-numbering drudgery. Gunfights and car chases are few and far between. They generate so much extra paperwork – and second-guessing by everyone not involved – that no sane cop welcomes such breaks that be the general tedium of police work. An' no honest cop be rich. Learned that the hard way. At least Normal cops be retirin' after twenty to forty years. I've been on the job since the first days o' the Fables in Exile Compact and Forgiveness Act."

"I used to be all fer the action, the thrill o' the chase, the fight, the bounty." Something in Silver's eyes seemed to glint, and Jack's jaw clenched hard enough he could feel his gums begin to protest. "An' from all o' these t'ings I've collected a great deal many o' stories. Me pals down at The Pub, they can attest to that. But fer centuries now, me tales have grown stale. So I figure it's about time I add a new one ter the mix."

"It all started back on Monday. White Rabbit comes chargin' in, all in a tizzy, tellin' me somethin's gone on with Naveen. As we made our way down ter Naveen's apartment, ol' White explained he had awoken that morn to a voicemail from Naveen, asking him to come down and arrange fer him ter leave Fabletown, as he feared he'd soon be feedin' the fishes if he didn't leave. I'll admit, I was already suspicious of the man. Ain't the firs' time Naveen has tried ter come up with some stink ter make waves. Yet as the legally bound Fables we are, we arrived at Naveen's apartment, kicked down the door after no answer, and came upon the scene o' the crime."

"Immediately I sent fer Stitch ter come down and take a look, begin ter analyze the situation, an' as I be waitin', I found meself not acceptin' this shipwreck at firs' line o' sight. It made no sense ter me why, out o' all the members o' government who could o' helped him, he reached out ter White Rabbit. The two of them have no real camaraderie, very different crowds… The only thing which could make sense is that White Rabbit would be a good Fable to contact if you didn't actually want help immediately." As an aside, Silver addressed the very present White Rabbit, "No offense, but yer hardly a frightenin' adversary to scare off any enemies, and ye can sleep through a hurricane."

The White Rabbit patted down his chest fur and adjusted his spectacles on his snout as he sniffed, "W-well, I will admit I might not have the sharpest of claws or largest of teeth, but it's not as if I'm completely helpless…"

"Yeh fainted at the sight o' his apartment."

"Oh well, all right I see your point."

Jack leaned down and patted the rabbit on his head. The White Rabbit didn't seem quite as thankful by the gesture as Jack might have hoped.

"So, knowin' full well he could have contacted me, or Elsa, heck, even our secretary Kronk, yet went after one of our less physically imposing Fables on in the buildin', demonstrated this be more a move of manipulation than urgency. If it weren't fer the fact White Rabbit is not an attractive human lass, I'd o' think Naveen be aimin' at him for his usual schemes. So no, Naveen be lookin' fer an easy scapegoat who would take long enough ter run ter someone else that Naveen would have enough time ter run off and hide himself." As Silver finished his train of thought, he turned to Naveen who was wringing water from his jacket.

"Eh," Naveen shrugged, much less shamed than he should be. "He is not wrong."

The Sheriff lifted his chin, and continued, "The other mistake that really tipped me off that somethin' be amiss, be the state o' the place. I took a look at Naveen's apartment, and within seconds it be clear this be a staged crime scene – and staged badly at that. Blood was spilled and spattered everywhere – all over every surface of Naveen's living room. But let me tell ye, the next time ye try ter stage a crime scene, ye should actually knock t'ings over – rather than carefully place them in positions you want them ter end up."

"Ye had a pole lamp knocked over, but its light bulbs were still intact. Naveen must have wanted to preserve his television set because it be miraculously avoidin' getting' spattered even though blood was liberally splashed ter each side o' it. Naveen must have wanted ter save the best o' his dishware as well. Naveen's cabinets were open and all its contents were thrown about – all except the china, obviously bein' an expensive heirloom ye didn't want broken."

"But it was my mother's, what could I do?" Naveen shrugged.

"Uh, not fake your death?" Jack suggested.

Naveen pouted.

Silver carried on, "Ye made it pretty plain ye intended ter make future use o' yer t'ings, but if ye were fightin' fer yer life, ye wouldn't have been considerin' it."

"Okay, Silver, enough." Elsa stepped forward, no longer embracing Tiana, and had assumed her role of Deputy Mayor. Fitting, as Mayor Metro Man was loudly smacking on jumbo shrimp and intently listening to the scene unfold instead of actually doing something productive. "You've impressed us, but why don't you explain why you couldn't tell me what you knew. As your Deputy Mayor …"

"Now hold on, Miss Elsa," Silver lifted up his hands in defense. Jack could see him take a purposeful step toward her, and Jack took an involuntary step forward himself. He had every intention of coming to Elsa's defense, except he realized Silver was not focused on her. Jack followed Silver's gaze to Tiana who was surrounded by Charlotte, Anna, and Esmerelda, and he realized what Elsa was really asking. Silver seemed to put it together as well, for he softened and explained, "I only knew fer certain he participated in stagin' the crime scene. I didn' know he be in Davy Jones' Locker. In fact, I had pretty compellin' evidence he was.

"There be more blood at the scene than any one person could lose and still be alive. I knew it just by looking, and Stitch himself confirmed after one whiff the blood belonged to Naveen. He even calculated himself the amount there: based on evidence, there be no way Naveen be amongst the livin'. But, there be too many possibilities ter fit the available evidence. Naveen could have planned ter make his suicide look like a murder. Or he could have participated in the scam to fake his death not realizin' that his partner-in-crime decided to make it a real murder scene. But it wasn't either of those, o' course. The copious amounts of blood be the one part o' the plan where Naveen had thoroughly outsmarted me – all o' us in the team – fer a while. It be Dr. Joshua Sweet who gave me the final clue."

Heads swiveled to the doctor who blinked and pointed to himself, "Me? I mean I'm happy to have helped, but how?"

"Earlier this evenin', before meetin' up with Tiana. Ye reminded me o' the empty blood bags missin' from yer stock about six months back. That's how he did it. The average person can give up a pint of blood every six weeks without suffering any ill effects. He had to have had this idiot scheme planned fer some time because it took a while fer Naveen ter collect the 7 ter 8 liters of blood needed ter convince us he be dead. If not fer his Fable healin' abilities because he be so damn popular, I don't know how he'd be functionin'."

"Why though?" Tiana spoke up, her voice was cracking as she turned from her circle of comfort and faced the Sheriff. "Why did you keep me in the dark? After everything?"

"I had ter, as long as you be one o' the suspects."

Hurt radiated from her. "But I thought you believed me! I told you, I would never –!" It burned Jack to see Tiana clearly pained.

"I know, I know," Silver was gruff, but softened in an attempt to be gentle and soothing. Jack was surprised by the urge that came over him to punch the Sheriff. Yet another thing he didn't like about the Fable: no one else elicited violence from Jack but him. "But not even Naveen would fake his own death without good reason. From day one o' the investigation I wasn't lookin' fer his killer. I be lookin' fer the person he be so afrai of – who made him go ter all this effort. Until I determined that, I couldn't risk tellin' any o' you he could still be alive."

Mayor Metro Man swallowed the last of his jumbo shrimp whole, wiped his hands on a small napkin he carried from downstairs, and asked, "So who was he so afraid of?"

Silver turned to Naveen. "Care ter answer that one?"

The prince scratched the back of his neck, avoiding their looks as he mumbled, "Mad Madam Mim."

Most seemed confused, but all those even a little involved with the on goings of the case, or were members of the Seventh Floor, murmured something along the line of "ah."

Silver looked plenty satisfied and he began to button up his shirt again. "Right. Mad Madam Mim. If there be a dame not ter get involved with, she be the one. So me thoughts on this, I can't exactly be backin' up with hard evidence, but I have some proof on the matter an' some pretty good educated guesses. About nine months back, Naveen here returned from yet another failed relationship. The woman he be moochin' off of done kicked him out, and I'm guessin' he felt like returnin' ter old Fabletown. Maybe he be tired o' Native women, or maybe he be missin' his own kind. Whatever be the case, it be here he met a pretty, buxom lass: the disguised Mad Madame Mim.

"When and how he found out I can't be sayin', but at some point in their courtin', he discovered her identity. And it frightened him. Can't be sayin' I blame him. I guessin' he even caught wind o' her plans ter do him in. O' course, he tried pullin' away, but she wouldn't be havin' any o' that. A witch is not exactly a person ye can run from. And any Fable knows the old stories of Mim know if there be a good way ter get yerself killed, it's to give her reason ter chase ye. And if ye don't, ye should at least have the brains ter recognize a red flag if someone includes 'Mad' in their name. So Naveen decided ter do away with himself as a ruse. Give himself time ter find a new lass, get money, and skip town. But ter do that, he came up with the bright idea ter be dead.

"Then about a month or so back, he decided he didn't want ter play dead. Maybe he realized what an idiotic idea this be, or maybe he tried a few times before but this be the first time it stuck. Whatever be the case, Naveen tried to get Mim off his back, and after send her after Jim. I imagine he be figurin' she'd grow bored with Naveen and enjoy the company of a new man. O' course, he didn't count on her not bein' so drawn ter monogamy – at least on her end.

"As Mim tried harder to keep Naveen around, and thereby be scaring Naveen further away and feelin' more inclined to fake his own death before she be turnin' t'ings around and be killin' him fer real."

Silver cut off at Tiana's sudden movement. "Faking your own death, Naveen?" She marched up to the prince. Jack decided to edge closer, as were many other Fables, before a one-sided fight broke out. "Wow, and uh, how long did you imagine that would work?"

Naveen's smile was very forced, "I thought it would all be working out in the end?" He scratched his chin. "Somehow, I assumed you would be more relieved to know I was alive. Reawaken some of those old, passionate feelings for me, yes?"

Esmerelda, Charlotte, and Anna stepped in front of the seething Tiana who looked about ready to burst a blood vessel. Jack stepped back even though their animosity was nowhere near directed toward him.

"Once and for all, leave her out of your shit." Esmerelda snarled. Fire almost seemed to crackle off of her with each word she spoke. "She has accomplished so much, thanks to her own strength and will, and every time you come back to Fabletown, you try to drag her down. Enough."

"Tiana, I'll totally punch him in the face." Anna scrunched up her nose and mouth as she drew her hands into fists and help them up. "You want me to? Because I'll do it."

"Not if I give him a good sluggin', first," Lottie declared.

"Now, now," Naveen chuckled nervously. "Ladies …"

"Anna, Lottie," Elsa said gently but firmly, "No one is punching anyone." She glanced at Naveen. "No matter how much they may deserve it."

"Actually," Jasmine voiced, "All this reminds me, where is Mim, anyway?"

Aladdin was pinned to her side and said with great determination, "Right. Is Mim incarcerated right now? If so, she should be released!"

Jim shook his head, "Trust me, she's where she belongs."

"Man," Jack grimaced as voices rose all around him in outrage. "This is nuts." He could feel his heart in his ears as the growing energy of frustration pulsed around him. The crowd was chaotic with anger, but maybe with a little fun, things could be quelled. Jack slowly edged closer to the water, picking out the Fables who would be the better sports about being pushed into a pool.

His hands hovered behind Milo's back when suddenly the noise of angry voices were outshined by a much louder BANG!

Heads spun as a wave of shock ran like a current through all present.

Silver was the first to snap out of his shock, barreling from his stance between Naveen and Tiana into the parting crowd, and yelled, "What the devil is wrong with ya?" He ran to Jim's side, whose eyes were wide and his expression vacant. Smoke radiated from the back of his head. Jim seemed fine, save for the missing rattail and resulting bald patch covered in soot on the back of his cranium.

Jack watched the wheels turn in Jim's head as the diplomat slowly felt around his scalp. He stopped once he reached the smooth yet dirtied skin and very missing hair. With confusion and utter disbelief, he looked up to the source of the gunshot.

"Stitch, what the hell?"

Sure enough, when Jack turned, Glamoured Stitch held a smoking plasma gun.

Jack held the opinion that it would probably be to Stitch's advantage if he stopped smiling so widely: it gave him a rather evil and not so apologetic appearance. The alien noticed Jack and his grin broadened and he lifted his empty hand and gave him a thumbs up.

Jack couldn't help it; he bust out into gut-clenching laughter.

"That's it!" He heard the Sheriff roar. "Everyone, off the roof, now!"

And so, that was how the 300th anniversary of Remembrance Day ended: with a bang.

(and it turned into a ballroom blitz)

a/n: Welcome to the new year everyone! Happy 2016! And with this, we end the first of many arcs in the story of Fables. Fun fact, I originally was going to write these first four chapter as the first chapter. My Beta-readers persuaded me not to. I think it was a wise decision haha

Do share your thoughts; I'm happy to hear from you all!