December 1991

Picking around the raisins in his porridge, Theo yawned. The night before he'd slept a solid ten hours, but it might as well have been ten minutes. For some reason no matter how long he slept Theo never felt rested. He'd always wake up with dark circles round his eyes either way, and this morning proved no different. Closing his weary eyes again Theo took another lazy bite, when mid-chew a gust of wind grazed above his head announcing the arrival of the morning owl delivery.

All around the Great Hall students gasped in excited expectation. They tittered with awe, but Theo kept on chewing. Positive that there'd be nothing for him today, or possibly any other day.

Not like it matters.

He hadn't always been so cynical. Starting at Hogwarts the little heir naturally assumed his parents would write often enough to keep up pretenses of affection. Clearly it was too much to hope for a letter every week, but he'd expected a passing degree of warmth, a small token of esteem.

Although shy and introspective by nature Theo surprisingly didn't hate the idea of drawing attention to himself over breakfast. A part of him thrilled at the thought of Perseus finding him in the crowd; the owl majestically showing other scrappier birds how it's done. Far too curious to wait any longer Theo reckoned that the day after sorting seemed like a fine day for a letter.

I can't wait to see what father says about everything! I wonder if he'll actually tell me what his favorite password was.

Bet it's a laugh like Jazz Snake, or Swing Snake.

Obviously some form of musical snake involved...

Bright and early Theo sent his trusty owl out with the good news, and all morning cheerfulness fluttered in his chest. A giddy eagerness, and excitement brimming inside of him to read his parents flood of pride. For hours Theo walked around with all the cocky swagger of a Malfoy in an eye rolling competition, but when Perseus returned the reply was less than flowery.

You've done as expected.

Sincerely,

Father, and Mother

In a heartbeat Theo's ecstatic smile fell into a frown. However, with a stoic face he neatly folded up the parchment, treating the note tenderly as if the contents held value as he slipped it into his trouser pockets.

Then looking over to Draco he plastered on a smile. "They're massively pleased. Likely I'll get something flashy for Christmas."

Carried away on a present tangent, Malfoy gladly swiped attention away from Theo. Bragging loudly, "Oh! Father's already promised me a trip to Wales! Of course we've already gone loads of times, but I expect this time I'll wind up with a private chat with Gwenog Jones."

"The beater captain of the Holyhead Harpies?"

Malfoy grinned. "Family friend, you know."

Satisfied that he'd solidified his superiority Malfoy turned back to his waiting minions. Regaling Crabbe and Goyle with his news as Theo looked down at his porridge. Holding back all his emotions he pushed his spoon around the bottom of the bowl, but his appetite had vanished. Replaced by the rank taste of disappointment soiling his mouth, and the hard swallow wasn't lost on the boy sitting beside him.

Setting down his goblet of pumpkin juice Blaise leaned over.

Keeping his tone casual, but soft enough for only Theo's ears. "It's nice your parents are pleased. I always figured that old families are never happy. Today my mum's hounding me to be at the head of the class for Potions. It's like, can I have a minute mum?"

Theo's eyes brightened. "Really?"

"Yeah, she's a tough one."

"Sounds like it."

"That's why it's best to rely on friends to pick you up, you know?" Blaise said, offering up a cheeky smile." 'Cause families are always there to bring you down, they're downright reliable."

Theo snorted, looking away with a growing smile. Clueless that crumpled in Blaise's hand was his mother's reply; a response entirely lacking in any sort of admonishments, and only full of praise.

oOoOoOo

A few weeks before the winter break, Theo turned morbid.

First, smiling less, and then openly glaring at the caroling decorations and decked halls. Every where he turned the lead up to the holidays aggravated Theo, and he never would have predicted the depressing effect of holiday cheer. He couldn't shake his rotten mood though. For some reason each day had the opposite effect on him than his fellow Slytherins: Malfoy was predictably smug; and even Goyle less stone like than usual. But the festivities irked the sullen boy who wholeheartedly prepared himself for a rather dour holiday season with his family.

A time with far less goodwill cheer and far more frosty demand filled dinners.

As they closed in on the holidays, Theo's anxiety built until a strange desperation took over. Turning his insides until one day at lunch he dropped his fork, and stared blankly at his kidney pie. Without the will to eat anymore his mouth went as dry as the Sahara, and the invisible grains of sand only multiplied as the day he couldn't avoid approached.

The day when he'd be forced to trade in his cozy nest of happy garden snakes for a den of vipers.

I don't want to go. I don't want to go. Why do I have to? Why do we even need breaks? Why can't we just stop going to class, but still hang out?

Who even likes their parents?

To be sure, Theo's family had never exactly been a hugging sing-around-the-yule-log type of crowd. But over the past few months Hogwarts warmth had slowly challenged young Mr. Nott's expectations. Little by little he began to severely question his lonely upbringing. Realizing, with a jolt, that perhaps not all wizarding families were so cold and indifferent.

Of course he'd observed other happier families on trips to Diagon Alley. He'd seen rosy cheeked children twirled around by their parents, but before he'd thought them dim. With troubling self-reflection Theo now realized that he'd been brainwashed to believe those children lacked proper decorum. So willingly he'd looked down on them with his father's encouragement, pitying their misfortune. In the past it had all made sense, but in the present it felt horribly wrong, and for the first time knowledge made him miserable.

Desperate to cope he buried his troubles in his journal.

Escaping into a story he wrote where he grew up happy, and did exactly what he liked. In his tale he traveled the world while hopping from one career to the next; blissfully free from the chains of responsibility, and only burdened by having too many possibilities.

Nobody knew about these hopeless dreams scribbled so furiously into his leather bound book, but the other Slytherin boys often heard the feather quill scratching away. A steady back and forth of scraping that only quit right before bed. Paused, when little ink smudged hands laid down the wand, and exhausted Theo would stare up at his bunk's ceiling.

I wonder if I could write to them to let me stay. I hear others stay. It's not like they'd really miss me much…they barely take notice of me anyway.

oOoOoOo

After spending most of his childhood holed up in the Nott's massive library, there were a great many facts that Theodore Nott knew.

He knew that giants and werewolves were to be avoided at all costs. He'd also read that The Durmstrang Institute didn't accept Muggle-borns, and that Veelas were thought to possess their own kind of mythical wandless magic. The well read boy knew oh so many interesting facts about the world around him, but he barely knew himself.

For years he'd gone about believing he slept peacefully, but one late night jab to his arm proved otherwise.

"Ow!" Theo groaned, blinking awake into the dark.

"Get on your side." An angry voice whispered beside him, and Theo recoiled away in fear. Banging his head painfully on the top of his bunk before he recognized the slim boy crouching beside his bed.

"W-What Blaise?"

"I said to get on your side Theo. You're snoring up a snot storm."

Mouthing dropping in shock he snarled, "I most certainly am not!"

"Malfoy," Blaise sighed, looking over his shoulder towards Draco's bed. "Was he, or was he not, roaring as loud as a Hungarian Horntail in heat?"

"I feared for my life." Draco grumbled mid-yawn. "You were dragoning all over the place."

"That's not even a word!" Theo hissed defensively.

"Oh don't get all fancy dictionary on me. It's three in the bloody morning, I've barely slept-"

"I don't snore!"

"You do."

"I don't!"

Sensing that they weren't getting anywhere fast Blaise groaned in annoyance. Standing up decidedly, and without asking he climbed into his friend's bed. Physically turning the startled boy onto his side, and loudly huffing, "That's it! You're getting on your side."

"Hey! What are you doing? Get out of here-"

"No," Blaise jabbed the end of his wand into Theo's squirmy spine."If you refuse to get on your side I'm going to lay here, and make you."

"That's weird."

"No, it's called behavioral therapy. You're doing something destructive, and I'm correcting it."

"That sounds Muggle-y." Theo raised a suspicious brow.

"Desperate times call for desperate measures mate."

Horrified, Theo curled his legs up closer to his chest, closing himself off from the shame, and hoping to avoid the embarrassment of their toes touching together. Still stubbornly resisting the accusations he buried his head into his pillow. Mumbling, "It's just allergies."

"Well, they're allergies you've had for over three months." Blaise whispered. Snuggling in closer for warmth, and when his breath brushed the back of Theo's neck the tiny hairs there stood on end.

Suddenly Theo's eyes widened in shock. "Wait! Did you say three months?"

"Yeah," Blaise whispered with a chuckle. "Usually we're too tired to care, but you're in rare form tonight. So I'm staying up, and every time you lay flat and snore I'll hit your back with a stinging jinx. You'll learn to stay on your damn side, and you might actually feel better in the morning. It's a win-win."

"What?" Theo shrieked. Attempting to turn and attack Blaise, but the wand jabbed harder into his back. "Ow! That's sadistic, and I don't think you get what a win-win is! I'll just do a silencing charm so you can't hear me."

"Do you know a silencing charm?"

There was a long pause.

"No."

"Then stinging hex it is!"

For hours Blaise kept his word. Patiently watching over drowsy Theo, and hexing him when his friend shifted onto his back and snored. Every time he'd awake with a startled shout that made Malfoy and Goyle erupt into fits of giggles in their bunks, and well into the night the other boys laughed to tears, but Blaise never joined in. Instead, he'd apply a cooling rag to ease the burn, and he'd whisper apologies as Theo bit into his pillow, and cursed them all to hell.

"Sadistic prats."

"Yes we are."

"This will never work." Theo whimpered pathetically. "It's just torture."

Leaning in closer Blaise wrapped his arm around Theo's waist. Hugging his friend lightly where nobody could see, and whispering near his ear, "Well, you've been pouty all bloody week. This is one thing I can fix before the break, so I'm gonna try."

Patting his hip, Blaise broke the embrace, but the stings kept coming. Repeating the next five nights, and brutalizing poor Theo's back until he finally kept on his side. That full night's slumbering silence validated Blaise's theory, but Theo didn't celebrate. Not when after the "treatment" ended he'd realized with a heavy heart that he slightly missed waking up with Blaise beside him.

Passed out with wand in hand, but close enough for Theo to see that somebody actually cared.