Just a quick announcement: I know I said that this story will be about 22 chapters long and that I want to get at least the next four chapters up before I go back, but I'm going to adjust that a bit. The chapters with Monica's fears (before the final test) will be two chapters instead of four, just to make them a bit longer. I also don't know how many chapters total this will be now since I'm merging some chapters together and I'm not sure if I want to write an epilogue yet. I'm going to start the next chapter right after I post this so, fingers crossed, it will be up soon.
As always, thank you to everyone that is enjoying this story, for I am enjoying writing it! A special thank you to those of you that said you really liked the idea of the locket. That was something that I actually didn't even think of until I was in the process of writing that part of the chapter, so I'm glad you enjoyed it!
It was fun for me trying to figure out the backstories for Monica's fears in this chapter. In terms of that, there is a little foreshadowing in here for the next chapter. See if you can spot it ;)
Disclaimer: I don't own the Divergent books or movies. I wish I did, but I don't.
Today, we are starting stage two and from what I can tell so far, it consists of us sitting in a hallway waiting to go into a room only to come out looking completely terrified. I'm not too sure what we'll have to do, since everyone is in there for different periods of time. When it is my turn, I follow Four into the room and I see a reclining chair and a computer screen. It's exactly like the room I took the aptitude test in, which worries me, but I sit down in the chair anyway. It's not like I have a choice.
"What do I have to do?"
"I'm going to inject you with a serum that activates the part of your brain that controls fear," he tells me as he injects the serum into my neck. "The serum will induce a hallucination based on one of your fears. The simulation won't end until you calm down. You have to slow your heart rate and control your breathing. The best way to get out is to face your fears head on. Be brave Monica. The first time is always the hardest."
I find myself in a dark room, which is strange because I'm not afraid of the dark. Then, I suddenly hear a loud creak and the walls start to move in towards me. I start to look around me, frantically searching for a way out, but there is none. And the space around me progressively gets smaller and smaller.
"Help! Help!" I scream as loud as I can, but no one hears me. There is no one around to hear me. I don't know how I know this, but I do. I crouch down as the ceiling begins to come closer and it is at this point that I can't help the tears that begin to flow.
As the room turned small box continues to decrease in size, I throw my hands down on the floor in defeat, but when I do, I feel something cold and metallic that is not the floor. I look and see a bunch of long nails that have seemingly no business being here. But then it hits me. I jump into action, at least the best I can in a shrinking box, and work to wedge the nails between the floor and the last moving wall to get it to stop. The first nail bounces away, but I am able to get the other two in and successfully stop the wall. When I do, I am jumping forward in the chair back in the safety of the simulation room.
"Hey, it's okay." I almost fall forward onto the floor, but Four grabs my shoulder and steadies me back in the chair. I sit there for a moment, trying to catch my breath, while Four goes back to the computer and types something in.
"How bad did I do?" The question leaves my mouth before I even know that I was going to ask it. Sinking to floor and crying like a baby isn't a good look on a Dauntless initiate. I can't help but think that I didn't do that well at all.
Instead of answering my question, he asks me one. "How long do you think you were in the simulation?" This throws me off guard. I assumed I would be timed, but I didn't expect him to ask me about it.
"I'm not sure. Half an hour, at least."
"Thirteen minutes. Just one minute faster than the average."
"What? But it felt like so much longer."
"I know, your fear distorts your perception of time. But you did really well. Especially for your first time. Next time will be easier. You'll get a little faster the more you practice."
I nod my head and, unsure of what else to do, I get up and leave. He told us this morning that after our turn in the sim room each day, we would have the rest of the day off. At the time, it seemed odd, Dauntless giving us practically a whole day off, but now I get it. We'll all need time to process and calm down from our simulations before having to do it again.
While I'm on my walk, I think about my fear. I've completely forgotten the reason why I have it until today. When I was 10, I was helping my mother in the fields when she sent me home to get an extra shovel, since one of our other ones broke. It wasn't an odd request because every household in Amity is trusted with storing some extra gardening tools in their homes in case anyone needs them. But, when I got home, I accidentally shut the basement door on myself, a door which coincidentally only opens from the outside, and was locked in there, screaming for help, for at least 30 minutes before my mother came to see what was taking me so long. I remember that being one of the most terrifying days of my life.
I'm not sure what my other fears are, and I'm not too eager to find out.
The next day, we are all in the hallway and look even nervous than yesterday. This time, we know, more or less, what to expect, but it doesn't put any of as at ease.
Four calls me in and once he closes the door, he asks me how I'm doing, which throws me off.
"I'm fine, are you okay?" I didn't register until now, but Four looked kind of shaky yesterday after my simulation. I've never seen him off of his game before.
"I'm fine. Confinement is one of my fears too. It got to me a little, even though I wasn't the one under the simulation." I give him a small smile as he injects me with the serum. He's never been this open with any of us before, and it's kind of nice to know that he's more than just a Dauntless soldier.
When the simulation begins, I am floating in a large body of water and I begin to move my arms and legs to keep my head above water. This isn't at all scary. Actually, it's very pleasant. After a few moments of me treading water, I find that it is getting more and more difficult to keep my head afloat and I begin to panic. I glance to my side and see a large wave coming towards me. I try to swim in the other direction, but the wave gets to me much faster. I am sent under water and I flail as hard as I can to get back to the surface. When I finally do, I cough up some water, struggling to catch my breath, before I get sent under again.
This pattern continues a few more times. When I arrive back at the surface for the sixth time, I realize that there is no way I could save myself from this. The only thing I can do is relax my body and let myself drown. And this is exactly what I do.
After the simulation is over, Four allows me to stay in the chair for a little while so I can catch my breath. He tells me that I was about eight seconds faster than yesterday. I thank him and then leave.
Like yesterday, I try to remember what could have caused my fear. When the memory returns to my mind, I shudder. Two years ago, I was using the pool that is available at school. I don't know why they built it, because Dauntless and Amity kids are the only ones that would ever really use it. Erudite and Candor kids would come by occasionally, but it was usually just our two factions. It's not often that the city will build something like that if it's not useful to all of the factions. Anyways, I was there one day with some of my friends. Most of them left after a while, at which point it was just me and my friend Cindy. Us staying, when it was just the two of us alone with a bunch of kids from Dauntless probably wasn't the smartest thing to do, but we did. When we decided to leave, some of the Dauntless boys started picking on us and surrounded us by sitting on the edge of the pool so we couldn't get out. They then started to kick the water, creating small waves, making it difficult for us to stay afloat. Luckily, we didn't drown and they stopped when one of the teachers heard the noise and came to see what was going on.
After it happened, I thought I got over it fairly quickly, but I obviously haven't.
On the third day of the simulations, I'm feeling a little more comfortable about them. It's kind of scary not knowing what I'm going to face, but I'm sure I can handle whatever will come my way.
Once I am in the simulation, I realize that I am lying on the floor. This should probably freak me out, but I let it go and enjoy the relaxation while I can. My whole body tenses when I feel something crawling up my arm. I glance down and there is a spider making its way towards my head. I swear it would be laughing at me if it could.
I don't panic too much until I feel more little legs crawling across my skin. I let out a whimper and try to brush them off, but I am completely paralyzed on the floor. I scream as loud as I possibly can as the spiders make their way closer to my face, but it's no use.
My panic levels spike when I feel a spider crawl into my ears. It is the most uncomfortable sensation I have ever experienced. It isn't until one of them crawls into my nose, making it more difficult to breathe, when I realize that the only thing I can do is calm down. I do my best to relax as more spiders crawl into my body and then it's over.
When I leave the room, I instantly remember why I have this fear. It's because of that same day that I got locked in the basement. There have always been quite a few spiders in our basement, so I got trapped in a small room filled with spiders. It wasn't my favorite day in the entire world. I walk back to the dorm hoping that the rest of the simulations won't get much harder.