Regina walked down a long, winding path away from the palace. She hadn't walked this way for a long time. It was just a dirt track compacted by years of use. Some used it for a horse-track if they didn't want to use the main thoroughfares.
She liked the crunch of the gravelly dirt under her feet. She nudged rocks out of the way and liked the noise they made as stone fell on stone.
She tried to identify birds she saw. Goldfinch, blackbird, maybe a skylark but she only caught a glimpse of it so couldn't be sure.
The morning light filtered through the fresh new leaves that sprung from seemingly everywhere. She saw a flash of white and turned to see young buck racing across a field. In the distance she heard the cry of a pheasant. She breathed it all in deeply and let it out.
Even the dark pine forest was bristling with new green needles, nests being built and the scurry of busy squirrels. She took a moment to appreciate the view like it soothed her soul just to witness it.
This was an excellent idea, she internally congratulated herself.
The cultivated gardens of the palace were so rigid and constricting in comparison to this accidental, wild beauty. A tiny wren landed on a branch nearby and she smiled.
"Good morning" she said to it before it disappeared with a peep in a swish of brown.
She heard voices approaching and turned to see if she should move off the path for a horse or cart.
Her breath caught in her chest, it was Emma in her blue cloak and one of the girls from the stables. Lucy, was it? Her curly red hair was bundled underneath a brown cap that matched her uniform, though a lock fell down by her face. She was talking animatedly to Emma who was smiling in return.
Envy rose up inside Regina. She knew it really was envy this time. What was Lucy even doing here? Why wasn't she in the stables?
"Good morning" Emma smiled at her as they approached. Her golden curls shone like sunlight itself. Regina didn't respond.
"Majesty" Lucy bowed rather than curtseyed, as she wore trousers and it would have looked silly. Regina automatically nodded at her in reply.
"Miss Swan asked to be brought down here ma'am, I hope you don't mind. Seems tae have a special interest in this part of the grounds" she said with a grin that Regina didn't understand.
"How singular" Regina replied
"Yes ma'am, rare as sorrel this one." She tipped her head in Emma's direction "Is there anything I can do for you ma'am?" she asked
"No, no, you can go" Regina replied.
Lucy bowed again, winked at Emma and turned to run up the hill.
What did that mean? Regina had half a mind to call her back and demand that she explain herself. Emma laughed.
"Charming" she said, turning to walk with Regina.
"What?" Regina asked.
Was she charming indeed? She hoped her irritation wasn't obvious. Why was she so possessive of Emma? Was she always like this with people she liked? She tried to think about other people she liked but no one came to mind. Maybe that was why she felt a particular claim over Emma, she thought.
"Rare as sorrel" Emma said "do you know anything about sorrel?"
"No" Regina said, thrown by the odd question.
She didn't care about sorrel, she wanted to know everything Emma and Lucy talked about on the way down the hill, but how could she ask that? She silently reprimanded herself, what was wrong with her? Emma was talking to a servant, so what?
"I know exactly two things about sorrel" Emma continued "one, it tastes revolting and two, it grows absolutely everywhere" she finished with a laugh
Regina frowned.
"So she was making fun of me?" she asked
"I think she was making fun of me, hoping it would go over your head" Emma said, nudging a fallen branch from their path.
"That's pretty smart" Regina conceded, impressed against her will.
"Ha, not impudent?" Emma asked
"Well yes, that goes without saying" Regina replied. She looked up at Emma who gave her a wry smile.
"So no lesson today, then?" Emma asked
Regina sighed and tipped her head to one side. She wasn't sure what to say. She hadn't expected to see Emma again for at least another day. She had hoped she would come up with a decent excuse by then.
"It's ok if you need a break" Emma said "It must be nice to be able to walk around again"
It was, Regina realised. That would have been an excellent excuse to give if she had thought of it.
"And the weather is lovely, it's nice to get out an appreciate it" Emma added
Another excellent reason. Regina nodded.
"So what's the real reason?" Emma asked
Regina stopped walking and smiled incredulously
"What was wrong with the two you just gave?" she asked
"Oh nothing" Emma stepped into her way on the path "but neither of them are the reason you didn't turn up today"
She searched Regina's expression. Regina frowned back at her and fought the impulse to look away. Emma narrowed her eyes. For a moment they faced each other down. Regina having the literal higher ground stood it even against Emma's penetrating look.
"Fine, don't tell me" Emma said and moved back to Regina's side so they could resume walking.
They didn't speak, but Regina found nature filled the gap for them. Birds sang overhead and the pheasant called in the distance again.
"Why don't the servants like you?" Regina asked out of the blue. Emma laughed.
"I don't know. It's always different. In some placed they're really friendly. I mean, Lucy was friendly but the guards in the palace, wow. Pip told me one tripped him up with his staff the other day for no reason" Emma mused.
Regina gasped. Who would dare treat palace guests in such a way?
"Which one?" she asked
"Are you going to have him fired?" Emma asked in return
"Maybe" Regina grimaced and Emma laughed again. It came so easily to her.
"Then I won't tell you" she said. Regina rolled her eyes.
They continued to walk in silence. If Emma had her hair tied up they could have been mistaken for a courting couple out for a walk, Regina mused. She liked walking side by side. They weren't teacher and pupil out here, or royal and subject, they were just two people.
"Are we going to go back to the castle at any point?" Emma asked after a while.
"You can go whenever you like, Miss Swan. You're not my prisoner." Regina replied, the corner of her mouth curling.
"Oh but I am" Emma replied playfully. Regina's chest was suddenly filled a flutter.
"You're my walking advertisement, remember? I need to make sure you get back to the palace in one piece. Imagine you twisted your ankle out here" Emma said
"I could still twist it even with you here" Regina countered, a smile tugging at the corner of her mouth at the silliness of their conversation.
"Well at least I'd be here to carry you back up the hill" Emma said.
Regina almost felt herself pressed against Emma's chest as the image flashed vividly into her mind. The idea made her blush and she turned away to hide it.
"Um, I'm sorry Regina, I didn't mean to offend you" Emma said, dropping her silly tone immediately.
"You didn't" Regina said.
She didn't know if it was Emma's presence or their physical distance from the imposing palace but something about this moment gave her the pluck to ask something that had been bothering her for a while.
"Can I ask you something?" Regina asked. Emma hesitated for a moment and nodded. She swallowed and watched Regina almost nervously.
"The other night" she began. Emma visibly tensed up at the mention of Regina's appearance at the tavern. "How did you recognize me?" she asked
A wrinkle appeared on Emma's forehead.
"Er, I saw your face" she replied. Regina stared at her.
Cora had taught her and Zelena magic since they were young. No one knew about it and they were encouraged to keep it to themselves. Regina weighed up whether she could tell Emma the truth about the glamour or not. Would she be scared of magic? And of her? Would she leave?
"Ok" Regina said and turned to go back up the path
"What?" Emma asked "Wait, what is it?" she asked, chasing to catch her up.
"It doesn't matter" Regina said.
She wanted to know how Emma had recognised her, she wanted to know if she had magic. She wanted to know everything about her, but she was too scared. The risk was too great.
"Regina" Emma touched her arm to stop her.
Regina stopped. Would Emma dare behave this way in the palace, in full view of the guards? Calling her by her first name and touching her beyond what was required in their lessons. Regina wanted to push her away. Who did she think she was?
"What happened? We were talking and then it's like a wall went up" Emma said, her eyes searching Regina's face again.
"Would you stop that?" Regina snapped
"Stop what?" Emma implored
"Stop looking at me like that, I feel like I can't hide anything from you" Regina tried to distance herself from the woman before her.
"What do you have to hide?" Emma asked, almost with a smile, as if she knew the answer would be 'nothing'.
It infuriated Regina, she had no idea how hard she had to work to hide herself for her own protection.
"You're not entitled to know everything about me. I don't know anything about you" Regina dismissed.
"What do you want to know?" Emma asked earnestly
Regina paused for a moment to think of one of the less intrusive things she wanted to know about her.
"Why is this important to you, beyond your livelihood?" She asked
"Because it's always young women who need help" Emma replied easily.
Regina raised her eyebrows.
"I mean, that's not what I meant" Emma blushed and brushed her hair away from her face.
"I have no idea, I'm sure" Regina hoped that sounded convincing, though unwelcome images of Emma and various princesses came to her mind.
"I just want to give people their best chance" Emma tried to clarify "these things are important for them"
"Very charitable" Regina responded, looking away up the path.
"What is the problem?" Emma raised her voice, clearly at the end of her patience with princess tantrums. "Why do you do this? We're good and talking about real things and suddenly a wall goes up, you disappear and I have to work so hard for you to let me back in. What is wrong with you?"
Regina stared back at her. Emma looked at the ground and put her hands on her hips.
"I'm sorry" she said "I didn't mean that"
"Yes you did" Regina replied "You're used to working with spoiled brats, I imagine you don't get the chance to tell them so to their faces very often. You may as well get it out now while there are no guards around to drag you away."
"You're not spoiled" Emma said "I mean, you do have a frightening amount of wealth at your disposal but you're not…horrible. There's a reason all the servants like you. You're not excessive or unkind. You're lovely, actually. You speak to them like they're people. I know you hate that I speak to you like that, I'll stop if you want"
"No. I like it." Regina replied "It makes me feel…normal, I don't know. Like myself."
Emma gave her a look she hadn't seen before. It was almost hopeful. Emma's green eyes filled her up with the same calm she got from the scenery that surrounded them. She forgot where she was for a moment.
"It's horribly inappropriate, of course" Regina said, remembering they were in the middle of a conversation. Emma's smile widened into a full grin.
"Well, I don't have the monopoly on inappropriate. I've never crashed a ball like you crashed The Reel" Emma teased
"The Reel?" Regina asked, her mind still miles away.
"The pub you came to. The Reel Around The Sun" Emma said
"Oh yes, I see. Well I wasn't there by choice. I am painfully appropriate, I'll have you know" she replied haughtily.
Emma laughed again. It lifted her heart just to hear it.
"Painfully? You mean you want to be inappropriate but you keep it under wraps?" Emma asked, Regina laughed this time
"Yes I suppose so." She said
"I can't imagine that! What is one inappropriate thing you want to do?" Emma asked, stepping into her way on the path again. Regina looked up at Emma. Her eyes sparkled with amusement. They seemed to reflect all of Spring back at her.
A hundred inappropriate things came to Regina's mind, most of them involving Emma. She glanced at her lips without meaning to. Emma didn't miss it. Her eyes flashed and searched Regina's. Her mouth fell open. Regina looked away and pushed past her. Had she just laid all her cards out on the table without even meaning to?
"I…Regina wait" Emma followed. She didn't respond
"Regina wait!" Emma tried again
"I don't take orders from you" Regina said, without looking at her
"Please" Emma tried
Regina kept walking. Emma stopped and dropped her arms to her sides.
"There you go again" she called after her "the wall, there it is. How many times do I have to bang my head against it this time before it goes away again?"
Regina kept walking, banishing various tasteless replies from her mind.
"Why do you do this?" Emma's voice was further away. She obviously wasn't following her anymore.
Regina turned to see Emma further down the path. Her own dark cloak billowed around her as the wind picked up.
Why do this? Why shut people out? Especially people I like? she thought
"Call it self-preservation" Regina snarled and headed back to the palace.