Yay update time! Thanks for being so patient and for all your comments 3 There's one more chapter after this. I hope you like it!

Regina watched the world change from the carriage window. The pine forest thinned and dropped away around her. The rocky terrain descended into rolling hills and shrub land. Silver birches that she once would have found beautiful punctuated the greenery. The colour of her world seemed to be draining away the further she got from home.

They were making good time when they stopped at a tavern for the night. It was large enough to incorporate all the guards and horses as well as give Regina her own room. She leant her head against the casement and watched the sun set from her window. Even the sky seemed smaller here, obstructed and suffocated. Someone brought food which she said she didn't want but it was left on the dresser. She stayed where she was, trying to think of anything but the throb in her head and the hole in her chest.

A while later there was a knock at the door which she ignored. The door opened anyway. She tried not to think about how often her wishes would be ignored in her new home. At least some of the maids and guards at home had done as they were told.

"Regina?"

Her heart stopped.

"Oh my gods"

She covered her eyes. The door closed and she looked up, hoping she had gone.

"Hi" Emma smiled at her from the other side of the room.

Regina closed her eyes again and rubbed her head "I've lost my mind"

"You haven't" Emma crossed the room

"Stop!" Regina threw out a hand as she stepped back and hit the wall.

"Regina, I'm real, I'm here, look" Emma held out her hand

"Don't!" She said and Emma's hand froze inches from where she had pulled hers back. She breathed out and looked away from her "I thought I could handle this. I thought I was strong enough. I thought I would be okay if I just stopped thinking about you. I mean, her, gods."

"I'm not in your head, Regina, I'm right here. Please touch my hand so you know"

"No!" Silence filled the space between them

"Please?" Emma asked quietly

"I can't" she looked at her and away again

"Why?"

"Because then I'll know you're not here. I'll know you're not real and that would be worse than being haunted by visions of you. What if you disappear?" Regina looked up and her eyes shone with tears. She took in Emma's face properly for the first time.

"Hi" Emma smiled again and hoped she would really see her "I'm here to take you home"

Regina frowned "The White Kingdom is my home now" she replied mechanically

"Not yet"

"My mother would have you dead before we left this tavern" she said flatly.

She had dreamt this scenario a hundred times, never had it been so dissatisfying. There was always a dramatic change that freed them from her inevitable future.

"She wants you back. She sent me after you, Regina"

There it was, the implausible, impossible get-out clause.

"Did you get here by magic then? And if so what took you so long?" Regina asked, determined to reason her out.

"I didn't, we came by horse"

"We?"

It was usually just Emma. Quick, clever, strong and brave Emma come to rescue her from her fate. The untouchable daydream that cast a shadow over everything she did. But Emma was dead and she knew that. She wasn't here to rescue her.

"Pip and Lucy are downstairs"

"What?" This had to be a dream. It was ridiculous.

"I rode Rocinante"

"What?" She repeated. Emma shrugged in reply. Regina stared before looking out of the window towards the stables, heart aching that she hadn't been able to ride him on Cora's orders. "My baby"

"He's no baby, Regina, he's enormous and he doesn't like me very much" Regina's eyes lifted to hers "but the more I spoke of you, the better we got along"

Regina's hand covered her mouth, the other grasped Emma's arm. She was starting to believe it when she realised they were touching.

"No" she let go of her arm quickly

"Why?" Emma asked with a groan "why won't you believe me?"

"I can't Emma. It's too much, it's not possible, it's everything I want. It can't be real" she covered her face with her hands. She couldn't hold her tears at bay any longer. She tried to keep her breathing regular even as her palms became wet from crying.

"I'm going to touch you" Emma said as she wrapped her arms around her. It took a moment for Regina to even feel them. She turned into her and slid her own arms around her waist.

"I want you to be real" she said into her shoulder "I want you to be here. I want to go home. I want you to be alive and well even if you're not with me"

"As long as I'm alive and well and you wish it, I will be" Emma said and kissed her temple. She smelled of wildflowers. With flushed cheeks and wet eyes Regina pulled back a little to look at Emma.

"Am I mad?" She asked in a whisper

"No more than ever" Emma replied. Regina's dark eyes searched hers, unsmiling.

"Is this a trick?"

"If it is then I'm not in on it"

"Why are you here?"

"Because I love you, and I can't let you go to Leopold"

Regina's heart ached but she couldn't accept it, not yet.

"Why didn't you come before?"

"I did, I danced with you to say goodbye and to warn you"

"Prince Swan" Regina shook her head a little as if she had always known

"At your service, princess" Emma smiled

"You called me by my name that night"

"And you were too tired to tell me off, but you danced beautifully"

Regina closed her eyes. She knew Emma was dead. None of it could be real.

"You warned me about being betrothed already"

"Yes"

Her heart felt like it was in her throat as she looked up into Emma's summer eyes. It was so close, she wanted to believe her so much.

"Noble, but it hardly matters" the lump in her throat gave a tremor to her voice

"Why?"

"A prince, a king, I'm going to become a wife regardless, even if it makes me a queen. Another queen. Any queen."

"You'd be my queen, wherever you went"

"But I'm not a queen"

"Of course you are" Emma said

Birds sang outside in the night and the sound was the only one in the room but their breathing.

"I've lost my mind" Regina said softly, closing her eyes, letting her head fall to Emma's shoulder again. Emma pulled her closer.

"Then I must have lost mine too" she replied "at least we're lost together"

Regina leant up and kissed her. It was real. She felt a rush so overwhelming she knew it was real. She knew it in her heart but she still couldn't open her eyes. She kissed her harder, pulled her closer and sighed louder. Emma let her for a moment before pulling back.

Regina felt her tears wiped away and a warm kiss placed on her nose. She couldn't quite keep a smile from creeping onto her face.

"Open your eyes" Emma said. She swallowed and didn't. "Regina. I'm still here, it's still me"

Maybe this was the last test. She'd heard the promise, accepted what she said, she'd kissed her like it was her last chance and this was the part where she woke to the voice of her handmade telling her how lucky she was, to become a queen, how excited she should be. Her eyes stayed closed. Emma kissed her again. It was soft and gentle, almost chaste.

"I will kiss you forever if that's how long it takes for you to know I'm here"

"If this is madness I want to be mad forever. If it's a fever I hope I never get well." Regina said softly

"I thought we talked about the hanging tree"

"Emma!" she opened her eyes just to tell her off "Do you understand what this means if you're not real? Do you understand what it means if you are? Either I'm mad or I'm going home and could start a war with a neighbouring kingdom"

Emma's eyes said she hadn't really thought about anything beyond the exact moment they were in.

"W-would you choose to marry Leopold?" Emma stammered, failing to hide the disgust from her face.

Regina pursed her lips. She had always known what her life would be. A second daughter is not worth much. She would always live in service to the throne and never sit upon it. She took her duties seriously. Her fortitude was being tested. She thought of her mother, her sister, what it would mean for the kingdom. Emma's arms around her loosened.

"Choice is everything" Regina said quietly "if it's a real choice"

"It is"

"How can I believe you? You're in my head!"

Emma's eyes swam with tears as if she had never considered this. She took Regina's hand and marched to the door. They startled the guards posted outside who didn't seem to know what to do. Emma pulled her down the stairs.

"Emma, what-?" She waved a dismissal at guards who approached them with hands on the hilt of the swords.

"There" Emma pointed at Pip at the bar. He didn't see them, too busy chatting people up.

"And Lucy must be here somewhere, oh hey I know these two"

Hands still clasped together Emma brought her to two people sitting at a table. Guards loitered nervously nearby.

"This is Marian and Robin. They're traders who came to town for the ball. They're not bad dancers either. Guys this is Regina"

Robin nodded and Marian smiled a hello.

"I've seen you dance at The Reel." Regina glanced at Emma and back at them. Marian was the dancer who had captured Emma's awe and made Regina sickeningly jealous "You're very good. I'd never seen anything like it until then"

"Just a hobby" Robin smirked

"Regina...as in Princess Regina?" Marian asked, glancing at Emma and their joined hands

"That's the one" Emma said. Robin almost fell of his chair and Marian stood to curtesy

"Oh no, please don't do that" Regina said, looking around hoping no one had seen. Marian bobbed her head but stayed standing.

"You know where Lucy went?" Emma asked

"The red headed girl you came with? Out that way" Marian pointed and they were gone.

"They seemed nervous" Regina said, glancing over her shoulder as Emma took them towards the door "what do they trade in?"

"Other people's goods"

Regina gasped at Emma and shook her head at a guard coming quickly towards them. Emma seemed oblivious to all of them, or she just didn't care.

"The stables, of course" Emma said to herself.

Rocinante whinnied and kicked in his stable as soon as he heard Regina's voice. She let go of Emma's hand and ran to him.

"She's happy to see you but she's happier to see the horse. That's brilliant" Lucy said from somewhere close by.

"Rossi" Regina whispered as she stroked his nose. He nudged her face and she laughed. "I heard you brought Emma here" He grunted "you clever boy. You're taking me home too, but not tonight. Rest and we'll go in the morning. I'll bring you an apple." She stoked his nose and face. "Has he been fed?"

"Not yet, majesty" Lucy said. "There's oats over there. I'm away to tie up his hay bale."

"I can do it" Regina said, picking up the tough netting that surrounded the hay.

She ducked under the bar that nominally kept him in the stable. She untied the empty one, hefted the new one up and tied that to the bars. She changed his water too and Emma watched as Lucy made up a nosebag of oats.

"You got this one, dancer?" she asked on her way out

"Yeah, here" Emma dug around in her pockets for money

"Don't you dare, I've got a room sorted already" Lucy said as she walked away smiling. She shook her hair out of the tie it had been in as she went. "Night" she waved without looking.

"Night Luce" Emma replied.

Regina reappeared after a while. She was sweating a little and her dress was dirty around the hem but she was smiling. To Emma she had never looked more beautiful.

"Maybe he is your baby after all" Emma said

"He is" she looked back at him again.

"Do you believe me now? Do you believe this?"

"I think so" Regina said but it came out quietly. Emma pulled them together. She drew her breath in sharply and looked around. "Emma someone could see"

"So?"

"So" she pushed her away gently "I don't want to start a war if I can help it"

"So you choose going home?" Emma asked, eyes wide

Regina looked up at her. She was no longer her teacher. She was never really just her friend. She was only Emma, and she was everything. She drank in her cautious excitement for a moment and let them teeter on the edge of what could be their future.

"I choose you, silly girl" Regina said.

The hand that had nudged them apart still rested on Emma's chest. Regina's thumb brushed over her heart. Emma stared disbelieving for a moment before she picked Regina up and spun her around.

She squeaked in surprise and held on as Emma laughed into her neck. It only lasted a second and when Emma put her down Regina found their hands together.

"I'm going back to my room. I'll see you tomorrow" Regina said, though she didn't want to move.

"Yeah. I'm taking you home" Emma said quietly and Regina smiled. Tears welled in her eyes and she swept out of the stable before Emma could see them fall.

Emma followed a moment later and watched Regina disappear up the stairs. The guards settled into their places again and seemed much less anxious with her safely out of the reach of the public.

"What are you doing down here?" Pip asked with a waggle of his eyebrows

"Oh fuck off, Pip, she's a princess, she's got some standards"

"So sleeping with you in a tavern is beyond her?" he asked with mock innocence.

A glimpse of their night in the Reel flashed through her mind. Regina's lips as she gasped. Emma turned her head to get rid of it.

"Being seen with anyone is dangerous" she said seriously

"You're both women though, it's looked on differently"

"This isn't the time for this argument"

"Fine." he held up his hands "Is it the time for beer?"

"Without a shadow of a doubt"

She was handed a tankard of black beer that only frothed a little on top. It tasted burnt and earthy and oddly comforting. So far it was The White Kingdom's only redeeming feature. She had one more and was considering a third when she stood and lost her balance a little.

"Oop. Time for bed" She said and left the group that had collected around them.

It wasn't until she was outside that she realised she hadn't arranged a room. Pip was well on his way to getting laid and she wasn't about to ask Lucy for any more favours. She considered bunking with her new friend Rocinante, until she saw a guard standing beneath what had to be Regina's window. Drunk and confident, she threw a rock as hard as she could in the opposite direction. It clanked on the far side of the yard.

"Who's there?" He asked the darkness.

She threw another handful of stones and he left his post to investigate. She easily climbed up a wooden beam to the open window, though it took more effort than she had expected to get through it. She managed to get gracelessly in before the guard came back.

"Are you awake?" she asked, far less quietly than she intended

"Gods, what took you so long?" Regina asked

Cora didn't really do guilt. She wasn't a fan of looking back, more of facing forward. She was not going to let her past actions get in the way of her girls' futures.

"You don't need a king to be a queen, Zelena" Cora said without looking up from her work.

"But I want one!" she sat back and crossed her arms "I don't want to do the" she waved at Cora's desk "administration"

Her mother sighed. Once she would have slapped her (or worse) for such graceless, disrespectful behaviour. Now she felt less anger, almost empathy. Almost.

"Being Queen means absolute power. Absolute power means absolute freedom. You have never known anything but privilege, what could you possibly understand?"

Regina stood at the window, watching Ruby lug a huge basket up the hill with surprising ease. She caught her eye and Ruby bowed. Regina smiled and nodded and watched her go the rest of the way before turning to her mother.

Zelena was seated the the chair opposite, nestled into its corner with a look of utter petulance on her face.

"I understand something of it" Regina said in a low voice.

Cora looked up for the first time since their conversation began with a questioning gaze. She couldn't help the reaction of fear and dread whenever her mother looked at her, but this one was different. There was warmth in it. She was interested.

"I understand the importance of choice, no matter who you are. I understand duty and I understand making shrewd decisions for the future, but there is no reason they cannot all be combined"

Cora's brow wrinkled as she watched. She put her quill down and sat back in her chair. Even Zelena uncrossed her arms, apparently ready to hear anything that would give her an element of control over her life.

"Zelena wants to escape the kingdom, I want to tend it. Leopold wants a young wife and you want an ally in the White Kingdom"

Zelena gasped. Cora and Regina watched her. There was no way Regina would force her sister to take her place, but if she wanted it, she would happily give it.

"Are you suggesting I marry Leopold? Is that a possibility?" Zelena asked

Cora watched them both carefully before answering. Regina hoped harder than she thought she ever had. She hoped Zelena's ambitions for a crown were high enough that she saw Leopold as an opportunity, not a sentence. She thought of Emma and hoped that she could stay.

"It is" Cora replied "if you want it. You would relinquish your claim to this throne to your sister. And you would be his wife, Zelena. Do not romanticise what that would mean"

"Oh, don't worry, I have no illusions there if you and daddy are anything to go by"

"Zelena!" Regina reprimanded

She rolled her eyes. Regina sighed in disapproval of her outburst. It was rude and disrespectful, but she couldn't disagree with her sister. She just didn't want to deal with it the way that Zelena did, throwing it all out into the open, wrenching out the raw pain that everyone was feeling since Cora got her heart back. She wanted quiet conversations and loud declarations of forgiveness, but it was unlikely she would be privy to any.

"Dears, you'd father and I have been married for a long time. There is history there that can never be forgotten. I have said that I will be a better mother to you, a better member of this family, and better to him"

Regina noted there was no mention of being a better wife, a better friend, a co-ruler. No, their father would never put himself between Cora and the kingdom. Even with her heart back that was a risk he wouldn't take.

"And he has promised to work on forgiving me so that we can be a family again"

Regina wondered if they ever were one to begin with. Zelena caught her eye, thinking the same. She sat on the arm of Zelena's chair and touched her shoulder.

"It sounds like you both have a lot to work on" Regina said "my point is that though you have plotted our lives out from birth, you might consider swapping our tracks. If Zelena wants to leave and I want to stay, this could work out well for all of us"

"No one would force you to give up your right to this throne" Cora said quickly.

"Of course not." Regina said, getting up again. 'But I would be forced to leave my home to marry a strange King and nanny his daughter' she thought.

"I leave to patch things up with Leopold first thing in the morning. I want your decision at breakfast or I will make it for you" Cora's head bent back to her paperwork.

"I'll...think about it" Zelena said, looking up at her sister with what looked like fear in her eyes. She had never been presented with the option of leaving. She had rebelled against the cage she was in forever, and now it was open she was frightened. The look was gone as quickly as it came "it might work out well for you and your fancy man. You can bribe me with presents until I have decided"

Fancy man? Regina felt like she had just taken a cannon ball to the stomach. Zelena had known about her love interest but never said that it was Emma. 'One half of your duo' was as close as she had gotten. She thought it was Pip. Her face must have shown her shock as Zelena smiled wickedly. Regina looked at her mother whose smirk said she had known it all, all along.

"I'll do no such thing" Regina said, and bent down to Zelena's ear "and it's fancy woman" she smiled, kissed her cheek and left the room holding her chin high. Zelena stared after her, eyes as round as two gold coins.