Turtlefoot had never felt so cold in all his life. The night echoed with the crunch of the frozen ground beneath his paws and he fluffed his fur out to block the chilling wind that had been trying to knock him sideways the entire journey. He might have believed he was sleepwalking if Cherrycloud's white pelt didn't glow in the pale light of the claw-moon.
It still hadn't sunk in that Mousestar was gone, waiting to be buried at daybreak in camp by Grayfall and Icepounce the elders, his grown kits and Clanmates around him sitting vigil.
The reality that he was about to become ShadowClan's leader was like swallowing a boney old rat whole.
StarClan help me, I'm not ready for this. The tom thought as the Highstones glared down at him, lined with Silverpelt's twinkling eyes that seemed to be judging him from their perch in the sky.
He almost bumped into Cherrycloud, who'd been waiting for him higher up the slope.
"We're almost there, don't worry." The red-splotched she-cat mewed. Her presence was comforting, but made the whole experience even more surreal at the same time since she'd help birth Turtlefoot as a young apprentice.
He gave her a small nod before they continued, the sharp peaks growing ever taller and Turtlefoot's heart pounding faster and faster. He'd only become deputy in leaf-fall after the death of Tanglefur at the claws of some rouges. Everyone seemed surprised by the leader's choice, even he'd thought that Mousestar would choose a more experienced warrior such as Birchstrike or Willownose.
Yet here he was, about to face StarClan to receive his nine lives. Unless of course, they'd deemed him unworthy or were going to make him test his ability somehow.
Turtlefoot's mind buzzed with endless scenarios as they neared the tunnel into the rock at last. They stopped at the entrance as the medicine cat sat down to pick some bits of gravel out from between her pads and Turtlefoot took a moment to close his eyes and yowl internally in the fear that was consuming him in this moment.
He jumped a bit when Cherrycloud rested her tail on one of his shoulders.
"You're nervous, but don't be. StarClan is waiting to grant you their blessing." She purred trying to soothe him like a kit.
"I'm not just nervous...I, I'm terrified!" He sputtered out before he realized what a frightened fool he sounded like. "Mousestar was still, so young. He lost his last three lives so fast. He barely had time to train me, Tanglefur knew much better than I will about leading! Now I'm supposed to follow in his paw steps so soon... Of course I'm not going to run off or something mouse-brained like that but-"
"Mousestar believed you could lead on your own. That's why he chose you to replace Tanglefur, because he knew you could lead ShadowClan." The medicine cat told him firmly. "I was terrified the first time I met StarClan too. I wanted to curl back up in the nursery. I can't tell you what'll happen, it's different for every cat. This is the first time I've ever taken a deputy to become a leader, my mentor only ever told me what to do, there was no training for this." Her voice was edged with unease too. His chest now filled with the weight of guilt for not considering her as well. "But we'll get through this, for our Clan."
Cherrycloud stood and pressed her flank against him with a purr and with a deep breath, Turtlefoot got to his feet and followed the she-cat into the darkness of the Highstones.
Padding through what seemed to be the empty space between the stars themselves, Turtlefoot's fear stabbed through him as a sharp pit in his stomach, but somehow distracted him from the perplexing blackness that surrounded him. The sound of Cherrycloud's paw steps and her scent that was tinged with the aroma of herbs from the medicine cat's den was what kept him from panicking completely. Just as suddenly as he'd been plunged into the darkness, the stone walls widened and a mysterious light began to brighten the cavern. The ceiling grew taller and the space wider as a ray of silver from the night sky shot through an opening onto a rock in the center of the clearing. It glowed with an otherworldly paleness that turned his black tabby coat gray and Cherrycloud's red patches blueish-white tinted.
The Moonstone. Turtlefoot thought as his mouth hung open in awe of the sight. He'd traveled here as an apprentice but he and his mentor had only waited outside, never had he imagined that this was what the rocky structure held.
This really was the border of StarClan's hunting grounds.
"Now, I can only tell you what to do from here." His medicine cat's voice brought him back to reality, along with all his fear. "Go to the Moonstone and lay down in front of it, then, when you're ready, press your muzzle against it and you'll enter StarClan's territory in your dreams."
His throat frozen in the cold light, he merely nodded and approached the stone slowly. The floor of the cave was sparkling with frost and made a shiver run up from his paws as he moved into the brightest part of the light. He slid onto the ground and stared at the rock, half expecting it to move or change colors with its mystical presence. Turtlefoot turned to look at his companion again, like a kit looking back at their parents before becoming an apprentice, waiting for some kind of signal.
The she-cat was almost concealed in the gray walls with the lighting, but her green eyes gave her away. "Don't worry, I'll be here when you wake. You'll have a new name the next time we speak."
Turtlefoot turned himself forwards, and gently bowed his head to press his chin to the coldness of the Moonstone and closed his eyes.
For the Clan, for the Clan. He repeated to himself as he lost all sense of his body, becoming like a limp piece of prey. This lasted for what seemed like moons, then a more loose feeling set in, like he was weightless in the air like a bird.
"Open your eyes young one, you're among your Clanmates now." A warm mew made him flick his ears and stretch his claws.
He opened his eyes and found himself in a plain of blue ground with patches of silvery undergrowth and pale outlines of trees surrounding the clearing with bits of white stardust floating in the air. Looking in front of him, the she-cat who met his eyes made him nearly leap up to the moon and back.
"Brightwhisker! Mother! It's really you?"
The silver-gray tabby let out a mmrrow of laughter, her emerald eyes glowing with affection. "Of course it is. You didn't forget what I looked like so soon, did you?" She'd only been dead for half a moon, killed by the sickness that had taken many lives in the forest.
Turtlefoot was filled with so much happiness with seeing his mother that he barely noticed the crowd of other cats sitting just behind her, murmuring among themselves and greeting him with warm looks. Then another familiar face stepped forward, a brown and white tom with long fur.
"Mousestar!" He exclaimed as his former leader gave him a nod in greeting.
"Yes, we're all here to welcome you as the leader of our great Clan." Mousestar purred, sitting back on his haunches as a tiny figure slipped out from behind Brightwhisker.
It was a kit, black with white paws and several patches across his tiny pelt. "Do you remember me, brother?" He mewed.
Turtlefoot's heart felt a pang of grief at the memory of his long lost sibling. "Of course, you're Rainkit! We used to share a nest together...and we got kitten cough together too... I'm so sorry."
Rainkit seemed unaffected by the memory of his own passing. "It's alright, I'm better now! This isn't about our nursery days, this is about your nine lives! They said I could give you the first one since I'm the youngest!" The little tom chirped excitedly like a sparrow on a newleaf dawn.
He knelt down so that his brother's tiny nose could touch his muzzle. "With this life, I give to you the strength to heal, from battles, disease, and heartbreak alike. Use it to help your Clanmates through their darkest hours, so that they can see the dawn of a new life beginning each day."
A sensation like thorns piecing him all over nearly made him yowl and swat his sibling away, but he ground his teeth so that he only shuttered. This was the way he felt when both Brightwhisker and Mousestar had died, this was what Rainkit wanted him to help ShadowClan through. "Thank you, brother."
The tom-kit nuzzled against his legs and purred before scampering off to sit with his mother again. Next came another face from seasons before; it was Hollydapple, who had been an elder when he was an apprentice.
"Don't worry, you don't have to pick ticks off me this time." The dark spotted she-cat chuckled. Turtlefoot purred in response and bowed his head. "With this life, I give patience, for the young and old. We grow throughout our lives, so give all your Clanmates the time to do so." With the touch of her muzzle, a feeling like a wave swallowing him up and carrying him in an invisible current came over him. Time moves like a river. A voice, possibly his own and possibly Hollydapple's told him internally.
"I'll use your gift as well as I can." He promised as the elder moved away before being replaced by a smaller cat, a tabby, who made his heart tighten again. "Oh Dewpaw, I'm so glad to see you again."
It was his old apprentice, a she-cat who'd been killed by a monster while helping chase a fox out of the territory. He'd never fully forgiven himself for her loss. "I still remember everything you taught me, and I lived my life true to the warrior code under your mentorship." Her words soothed his grief as she touched noses with him as they'd done moons ago at her apprenticeship ceremony. "With this life, I give you the power to learn from experience, from others and from yourself. Use it to mentor, to judge, and to care for your Clanmates." This life was like a ripple of excitement that triggered memories of his own first day as an apprentice exploring the territory, his first time at a Gathering, and his first assessment where he caught a pheasant as big as he was.
"Thank you, Dewpaw. I'll never forget all you taught me about being a mentor." Turtlefoot mewed as she turned away to be replaced by another figure. This one he did not know.
It was a dark gray tabby with a white chest and kindly amber eyes. "I am Pebbleheart, I was the first medicine cat of ShadowClan." Turtlefoot stared at him, shocked to be given a life by such an ancient cat, so he straightened himself to receive it as respectfully as he could. "With this life, I give you resilience, to stand up to disease and foes alike, and never give into defeat." The life was like fire burning through his body from his claws to the tip of his tail, the kind of energy that filled him when in combat, and then mixed with a heaviness, like fatigue from sickness. But through both of the sensations, his body stood against it, and he puffed out his chest with the odd new strength he felt.
As he thanked Pebbleheart, another unknown cat padded forward, a pale gray she-cat with lovely fur. "I am Lilystar, I was once leader of ShadowClan." He gave her a respectful nod before lowering his head again. "With this life, I give you wisdom. Wisdom of the cats that have come before you, and the wisdom the cats of today have to offer. Listen, reflect, and observe all you can in this world. This is key for any leader." The life made all his senses come alive all at once; he could hear the breeze rustling the grass of WindClan, he could taste the scaly fish that fed RiverClan, smell the oak trees in ThunderClan, feel the presence of his Clanmates all the way in ShadowClan, and almost touch the earth of the hills that made up SkyClan's territory.
When he looked up to thank Lilystar, Brightwhisker at last was coming towards him, her gaze full of love and pride. "My darling son, I couldn't be prouder of you." She purred as she touched her nose to his. "With this life, I give you the love of a mother, to do whatever it takes to keep those you love safe from harm, as a mother does for her kits." This life surged through him like a deadly mix of anger and desperation, making Turtlefoot wonder if this was how all mothers felt.
"Thank you." He meowed and saw her eyes cloud with a bit of sadness as she began to move away and wrap herself around Rainkit again. "I'll tell Silverclaw and Webpelt that you watch over us all, you too Rainkit!"
As he shared a moment with his kin, an old friend came forward. "Squirrelfoot!"
The dark ginger tom meowed a greeting. He'd died in a battle with ThunderClan, after which Turtlefoot had been made a warrior and named after him. "With this life, I give you courage, to use for your Clan as though you only had a single life to give up, as all your Clanmates do." As his old Clanmate's muzzle touched him, a sensation like running through the forest with the wind at his back rushed through his veins. He felt ready to leap on any prey or enemy he came across, not matter what the cost.
As he thanked the tom, another figure came into view that had only recently joined the ranks of StarClan. It was Longpetal, a sleek, lithe dark brown she-cat who'd only been a warrior for three moons when the sickness that had taken Mousestar and Brightwhisker had killed her. She was now as youthful and strong as she'd looked the day she'd received her warrior name, not as thin and frail as she'd been the day she'd been buried.
"With this life, I give you the necessity of companionship. Living together is what makes us a Clan, so honor each and every cat as though they are your littermate." The life was warm, like other pelts pressing against him or being curled up beside Brightwhisker in the nursery again.
"Thank you, it would have been an honor to be your Clanmate longer." Turtlefoot mewed as Longpetal nodded to him and moved aside for Mousestar to come forward.
The tom's eyes were warm and made any shred of nervousness he had left disappear completely. "I chose you to be deputy because I'd seen you persevere through loss," He flicked his tail towards Dewpaw. "Battle," He looked over to Squirrelfoot briefly. "And sickness," He motioned to Brightwhisker and Rainkit. "All of which harm every cat in every Clan, but you showed the strength to move forward. No matter what happens, ShadowClan must always move forward." Turtlefoot bowed his head for the last time. "With this life, I give you the power of faith. Faith in your Clan to move forward and faith in yourself to lead them there." The life was a spark inside him, that made his tail twitch, his ears prick, and his claws knead the ground under them.
He lifted his head, and all the cats moved closer to him.
Mousestar beamed at him and declared, "I hail you by your new name, Turtlestar! Your old life is no more. You have now received the nine lives of a leader, and StarClan grants you the guardianship of ShadowClan. Defend it well; care for young and old; honor your ancestors and the traditions of the warrior code; live each life with pride and dignity."
Turtlestar was then cheered by all the cats present by his new name. "Turtlestar! Turtlestar! Turtlestar!"
Dewpaw and Rainkit ran around him calling out his name, Brightwhisker came over to her son and licked his ear. Squirrelfoot, Longpetal, and Hollydapple sat close together watching the sight happily. But Pebbleheart, Lilystar, and Mousestar sat in front of him still, all in a row, and their joy seemed to be fading fast. Lilystar gave Dewpaw a look, and the tabby she-cat picked up Rainkit and padded away with Brightwhisker to sit with the other StarClan cats.
"We're sorry to cut into your celebration," Pebbleheart said with a grave sound in his voice. "But we must tell you something."
"Seasons ago, I was given a prophecy that one would be born into ShadowClan that would have a destiny that would save all the Clans." Mousestar added. "You are that cat, Turtlestar. The time has come for the prophecy to come to pass."
Lilystar stepped closer, the plain they stood in darkened, and small black shapes seemed to slink all around the cats. Turtlestar looked around in alarm, but the StarClan cats stayed still as stone. "Five. One of each place in the Clans; one a gentle beast, one a sturdy tree, one as old as fear, one as swift as a breeze, and one that shines like a black star. They will save us against the silver-tongued prey."
Before Turtlestar could respond, he found himself opening his eyes to the brightness of the Moonstone.