I feel my ears twitch as they pick up the rythmatic beeping of an EKG machine. I open my eyes and find a white tiled ceiling above me, I sniff and get a whiff of sterile air.

Huh I guess I must be in the hospital, I guess getting attacked will do that to a guy. I smile to myself and rub my black hoof against my eyes, wait hoof?

…

Fuuuuck.

I guess it wasn't a dream then, I didn't really plan to come to magic pony land let alone get turned into one. I roll over once and try to get comfortable, who knew wrangling four legs would be so difficult? I manage to get my extremities in order and I relax back into the pillow, I wonder if they'll let me sleep for... ever?

Attention brain, come in brain.

This is brain, go ahead.

Brain, this is bladder, we've got a problem.

Holy-! I roll over as I become aware of the burning urge to take a piss. I look around my room and don't see any sort of door that might lead to a toilet. There isn't one. I sigh and prepare myself for the coming trek. I roll to the side of the bed and get into the closest thing to a sitting position that a pony can do.

With a quiet clop, I land on all fours and take a tentative step forward.

Huh, certainly not as bad as the first time.

You should have seen yourself the first time, you looked like you'd drank enough alcohol to down a horse.

"Shut up brain, puns are terrible." I mumble as I cross the small room and come across my next challenge, the doorknob. "How did I do it last time?" I wonder to myself.

You didn't, you got thrown through a window.

I snort "Might come to that yet" I mutter as I cross and uncross my back legs. "If it's like last time, just…" I focus on the knob and just turn it. Sure enough the knob is surrounded in the familiar crimson glow and it pops open.

I silently celebrate as I speedwalk (speedtrot?) out the door and straight into a nurse.

At least I think it was, I'm still not really sure if they're dressed up in nurse costumes as some kind of sick joke the universe is playing on me yet. Ya' know, you gotta keep your options open.

"Oops sorry about that miss." I tell her, my basic courtesy skills kicking in automatically. She opens her mouth as if she's going to talk:

*Insert Colorful Pony/Horse Noises Here*

Right, still ponies…

I facepalm- Erm right, I facehoof.

"Well in that case, where is the nearest bathroom?" I ask sarcastically.

"*More Colorful Pony/Horse noises*"

Right, well I guess it's time for Plan B, wander until I see a sign that suggests a bathroom. I skirt around the confused mare and clop down the hall. It appears that this time Lady Luck is on my side, as I find a sign that has a pony with a bowtie and a pony with a dress.

If that's not a pony potty then I don't know what is.

When I arrive at the door I have to force myself to slow down and repeat the process of using the glow to turn the knob before waddling through the door.

I rush to the toilet and reach down to unzip my fly… right still totally naked.

I'll spare you the details, but figuring out how to use the bathroom when your equipment is in an entirely new location is hard (And not in the surprise boner way, get your mind out of the gutter.) Let's just say that I barely avoided a scene straight out of Daddy Daycare, and I mean barely.

My needs met I wash my… hooves (damn, I'm still not used to that) then I notice the full body mirror in the corner. I walk over to it and take in just how different I really am.

I was mistaken when I said I was a pony, I'm a friggin Zebra Unicorn. The proof of that is the 6 inch black horn that juts out of my forehead, and the lime green stripes that run horizontally across my black body and wrap around my legs and muzzle. I sigh "At least I'm not bright pink and fuzzy." I mutter to myself, I rub my hoof through my short black mane, noticing the single green lightning bolt stripe that runs length wise through both it and my black tail.

I roll my (still) icy blue eyes at my reflection and walk away from the mirror and make to return to my room, lacking a better plan, to await whatever comes next.

At least I tried to.

As soon as I get back out in the hallway I collide with a pegacorn. Being the genius that I am the next words out of my mouth are, "Holy shit you're tall!"

I only say that because while I've noticed that I am a head and a half over the female ponies this pegacorn towers over me easily. She has a bright glowing white coat that shimmers slightly in the light, but what is more captivating is her pastel rainbow mane and tail that billows slightly in an erethreal breeze.

The pegacorn smiles crookedly, and chuckles.

It chuckled… wut?

The pegacorn opens its mouth and once again I feel hope blossom, I mean surely if it can chuckle it can speak right?

"*Pegacorn noises*"

*Sigh* What has my life become?

I roll my eyes and begin walking back to my room muttering about how unfair life is. I pretend not to notice the large white shape that follows me in the edge of my vision.

"Friggin' ponies man, I show up and have no idea what is going on and get shot out a window, how friendly." I grumble to myself.

The loud intake of breath makes me whip my head around, "What?" I ask the pegacorn. It has a surprised look on its face, well, as surprised as an equine face can be at least. The pegacorn loses its surprised look before gaining a thoughtful one, it starts making more equine noises and seems to really be straining to say something.

Then it talked, "Ple-ease… Co-me… Wizz… Mee." It was the voice of someone being strangled while beating a horse, but I rejoiced at the fact that there was intelligent life. She, it was a she, started walking down the hall away from my room, and I followed.

We walked

We passed closets, bedrooms, servant quarters… What are servants doing in a hospital?

Anyway¸ we walked a whole god-damn LOT.

Just as I was about to flop down on the floor and plead exhaustion we came to a door. It was ornate polished oak that had a gold sun with a silver crescent moon in the middle inlaid into it.

The door was surrounded by a soft golden light before it swung open. The pegacorn continued inside with me in tow. She turned to face me,

"Woot."

A small snort escaped me and I smirked a little "Woot?"

"Wooter."

My defenses failed and the smirk turned into a shit-eating grin.

Then she flashed me. It was a blinding golden flash that blinded me for a good fifteen seconds before the after image started fading and I could see the room again. She was gone.

It was just me again, how wonderful. I trotted over to the door, only to stop when I realized there was no handle.

Great. From a library, to a forest, then a hospital, and now a prisoner. How can magical ponyland get any better?

I scanned my surroundings. I was in what appeared to be a common room, the locked door opened to a pair of clear gothic style windows. A rug and three couches took up the center of the room facing a fireplace to the right of the entrance, the remaining wall was taken up with bookshelves.

I wander over to the bookshelves to see if there is anything interesting to read… Only to realize that I don't read scribbles.

Wonderful.

Meanwhile Elsewhere in the Castle

"Sister, I need your help."

A/N: Well that happened. Something seem like it's missing? Well that is for me to know and you to not learn yet! Sorry that this one is short, but I wanted to stop there.