Disclaimer: The wonderful Jane Austen owns all this, my works are just me twisting her incomparable dream story…sigh…where's my Darcy, huh? Where?
A/N: My dear devoted reviewers and readers. Have I told you how much I adore you? No? Well let me tell you, I love you all. Thanks so much people, I will continue this fic just for you! But anyway, you probably think I'm wasting words when I could be getting on with the story…so…ooo…guess what! I finished my French oral examination, god it was freakishly bad but oh well… oh yes, the story…
ON WITH THE SHOW!
Darcy fidgeted as he watched his sister leave the magnificent library. He could not help but smile proudly when he thought back on their conversation. Unbidden, a well of anxiety rose to his throat. His baby sister was growing into an incredible woman and soon she would be off and married with a family of her own.
A family.
Running his fingers lightly through his hair, Darcy sighed in agitation. He had considered the matter thoroughly. The impromptu walk through Hyde Park had set things in sharp perspective. If he could not have Elizabeth, he would never settle for anything less. The burden of begetting an heir would now be Georgiana's task.
Immediately, unbidden, an image of an unconscious Elizabeth came to his mind. He could not help but feel her burning body pressed against his during his first proposal in Kent and just a few moments ago as he carried her feverish form into his own household.
Strange how all their disastrous encounters occurred while it was pouring with rain.
Shaking his head to rid himself of the less than proper thoughts, he rose to pace the room. Sweeping his eyes across the books that generations of Darcys had collected, he could not stop the sigh of wistful reminiscence that escaped his lips. He remembered hours in which he would spend in this very room observing his own father covertly over the top of a book. In those days, when his mother was still carrying Georgiana within her, his father had glowed with something, something he never did quite understand. He had hoped that one day, he himself would be able to experience that glow, to know that his loving wife carried within her a piece of himself, a glimmer of endless joy and pride.
But no…it was not meant to be. Just like his dream, the glow in his father did not last long. When Georgiana was born crowned with a halo of golden strands, his mother had seemed so magnificently happy. But as the days and weeks wore on, Lady Darcy's health began to deteriorate. Her once glowing skin now seemed so pale, the lustre was gone from her face and from their quaint little family. On Georgiana's second birthday, Lady Darcy took to her bed and coughed blood onto her pristine white pillows. He remembered watching the horrifying sight with a sinking spirit. At the age of fourteen, he already understood the fate of his family. His mother would die, his father would retreat into the pits of his misery, and Georgiana would be raised lacking the presence of a mother and with a shadow of a father.
He desperately wished he was wrong, but as things turned out, he was right. One thing he did not count on was George Wickham.
How he despised that name, that person. The elder Darcy had quickly taken a shine to his Godson's charm and wit. Despite his own son's growing descent into grief, the elder Darcy still lavished attention onto the young Wickham.
When both boys started at Cambridge, Darcy immediately discovered the nature of Wickham's true character. Disgusted by his less than gentlemanly actions, young Darcy instantly distanced himself and befriended one Charles Bingley. Though naïve and generally disliked for being what was called 'new money', Darcy and Bingley quickly developed a rapport.
While Darcy appreciated Charles' guileless nature, Bingley himself relied desperately on the good opinion of his sometimes intimidating friend.
It was then that Darcy received the news. His father had died. Passed peacefully in his sleep, leaving parting goodbyes to be shared between his own flesh and blood and his beloved godson.
That very night, he found himself sharing a carriage with an inebriated Wickham rushing towards the picturesque home of his childhood. That night, Darcy officially farewelled his childhood. He was now the new master of Pemberley. People would now rely on him and despite his regret for the passing of his youthful existence, he was grateful for the work he could drown his sorrows in.
As soon as he finished his studies at Cambridge, he threw himself into the role his father once had held. Charles arrived a month later to keep him company; in tow were Caroline and Louisa Bingley.
Understanding Charles' character as he did, Darcy had expected his siblings to be somewhat similar, that same unassuming nature and almost guileless outlook on life.
It was the first time that Fitzwilliam Darcy's judgement had failed him.
Within an hour of their arrival, Caroline and Louisa Bingley revealed themselves as another pair of the simpering women of the ton. William found himself utterly dumbfounded as to how Charles could turn out the way he did and ultimately settled for the theory that his sisters were adopted.
Louisa, older and wiser, immediately recognised Darcy as a lost cause. She wisely forfeited her suit and soon began courting the moderately rich, Mr. Hurst. Caroline on the other hand, refused to see reason. Despite her brother's warnings, she continued to pursue the young master of Pemberley with reckless abandon. For the sake of his friendship with Charles, Darcy graciously rebuffed every approach made by the ever eager Miss Bingley and hired Mrs. Younge to keep to Georgiana from her clutches.
Then the Ramsgate affair. George Wickham. The near elopement. Georgiana's searing self recrimination and guilt for endless months.
Wickham. Lydia. Elizabeth. My Elizabeth.
Shaking his head, Darcy attempted to push away his thoughts of her but to no avail. She was mere steps away from him and like Georgiana; he felt her presence permeate Pemberley. How she did so even while she was sick, he could not discern, but he felt the tendrils of her spirit warming the marble walls of his magnificent home and provide a sort of warmth he was not aware of ever being missing from it.
His final wisp of self control dissolving, Darcy yanked open the door of the library and entered the wide corridor. As his footsteps echoed down the seemingly empty hallway, he could not help but scan the area for any hidden servants. Briefly, he caught of glimpse of familiar blonde, but when he turned back to study the alcove, he saw nothing but the typical shadows cast by a gloomy day.
Casting away the thought he raised a shaking hand to knock. Receiving no answer, he rested his hand momentarily on the gilded door handle. Heaving the sigh of a defeated man, he pushed open the door and pushed it gently closed behind him.
His mind barely registered the soft click of the latch as his eager eyes had already sought out the figure resting against the sapphire blue pillows.
She truly was a sight to behold. Fanning chocolate curls framed her face as she breathed peacefully in her sleep. As he approached with cautious footsteps, he could see her cheeks lightly flushed and her eye lashes fluttering with the movement of her dreams. As he allowed his burning gaze to travel lower, his eyes rested on her lips. They were alluringly parted and beckoned him to taste them.
Tearing his eyes away, he mentally swiped away his thoughts. Yet, almost as if pulled by an invisible force, Darcy moved closer and closer till he was right by her bedside. Tentatively, he brushed his fingertips against the delicate hand that rested by her side. At the touch, Elizabeth shifted and breathed a peaceful sigh in her sleep.
Carefully, as if she were made of glass, his hand returned to its original path, tracing light patterns upon the delicate skin of her hand. He almost wept for the bitterness that suddenly overwhelmed him. He could only share this moment with her while she slept, in her waking moments, she would not have spared him another glance.
Dropping gently to his knees, Darcy quietly rested his face against her hand, wishing desperately that she would wake and stroke his face with the loving tenderness she showed to all those she held dear. A reluctant tear followed the contours of his face and came to rest lightly upon her fingers. Unbidden, the emotions of the aftermath of his proposal swept through him like a raging tide. Resentment, anger, indignation were all present, but what hit him the most strongly was the fear, the regret, the utter heartbreak which still haunted his restless nights.
He suddenly remembered all those novels he had indulged in after his return to Pemberley. The hero would always triumph over all obstacles and win the hand of his reluctant lady love. Now, he could not help but wonder if such fantasies could exist in a less than utopian world. All those hours of pointless daydreams, he could almost feel them, almost dream them into reality.
She would always be there, in his daydream, always giving him that mischievously irresistible smile as she roamed the corridors of his home with him trailing in her wake, a devoted worshipper of a creature so ethereal he hardly believed she could be true.
Sighing, he shifted closer to her face and lightly stroked her forehead with tentative movements. Slowly he breathed her in trying to memorise every detail of her face so that he could savour her existence for the rest of his life. It felt as if he had lived through an endless drought and now took her in like a man dying of an unquenchable thirst.
God, how he missed her face.
Seeing her this way, however, still weighed heavily on his conscience. Raising himself slowly closer to her ear, he whispered, in a voice broken by tremors of grief, apologies that he could not say to her in waking moments.
His words seem to go unheard as Elizabeth slept on. Yet, suddenly, as he whispered the name Wickham with discernable contempt, Elizabeth flinched and muttered something incoherently.
Darcy leaned closer.
"…Ly…Lyddie…Lydia."
The moment the word struck him, he was overcome with an unexplainable sense of guilt, yet, more prominent than that guilt was a sense of obligation and determination. He would help the Bennets, if not for the lovely creature in the bed then to atone for the responsibility he held within the matter. Rising determinedly to his feet, he whispered a loving goodbye to the sleeping figure and retreated to the door.
Reluctantly, Darcy quickly retreated from the room and proceeded towards his beloved library. In his state of hurry, he barely acknowledged Georgiana's sudden appearance by his side. With curiosity bordering on obsession, the young girl questioned her brother as to his motives.
Darcy instantly beckoned to the approaching Mrs. Reynolds and instructed her to ready the carriage for a trip to London. His tone brooked no opposition as Mrs. Reynolds quickly hurried to do his bidding. Georgiana on the other hand grew more curious by the minute, ushering her tall brother readily into the library and slammed the door behind her. Approaching her brother with the agility, she pushed him into the armchair and instantly began to interrogate him
Upon Darcy's face was one of shock and little amusement as he watched his sister's antics. Laying a hand gently to her lips, he stemmed the flow of rushing words which slurred together in Georgiana's rush to speak them. When finally assured of her silence, he removed his hand and pulled her down to sit on the opposing chair.
"Georgiana…do you recall the reasons for which Miss Bennet's aunt and uncle have been called away?"
Georgiana nodded a silent ascent.
"Well…then you understand why I must go to London and try to rectify the situation, do you not? You know they must be married in order to save Miss Elizabeth's family. I allowed Wickham to do this; I must shoulder some of the responsibility."
Once more Georgiana nodded her agreement. Breathing deeply, she asked the question which had lingered on her lips since she entered the room.
"Is there any other reason you wish to do this William?"
Darcy instantly stiffened his posture. With a rigid tone he addressed her concerns.
"I am not doing this…to attain Miss Elizabeth's gratitude…I do not intend to win her affections in such a way…"
Georgiana rested an understanding look upon her brother and he quickly relaxed into the chair. Smiling sheepishly, he beckoned her to go on.
Georgiana grinned mischievously. "So…these actions have nothing to do with your wish to bring Miss Elizabeth into our family?"
Seeing her brother blush was a once in a blue moon event, but as it happened Georgiana would seem to be stargazing that night, because Darcy blushed self consciously and shifted to avoid her knowing gaze.
In one day, Georgiana Darcy had managed to convince her brother to trust her and to make him blush. This was a truly memorable occasion. Yet, before she could interrogate him further, a knock on the door interrupted her just as she drew breath for her next tirade.
Clearing his throat, Darcy called for the person to enter. Mrs. Reynolds looked in upon the brother and sister with a serene smile before informing the young master of the house that the carriage had been prepared.
Thanking her kindly, Darcy rose to leave, only to find a small hand clutching his sleeve and pulling him gently back. His eyes met the crystal blue orbs of his baby sister as he raised a questioning eyebrow. Though she did not do so outwardly, Georgiana mentally smirked and donned an expression of innocence as she peered at her anxious brother.
"William, you are not going to leave without a goodbye were you?"
Furrowing his eyebrows in slight confusion, Darcy muttered:
"Of course not."
Leaning forwards to kiss her goodbye, Darcy found a small hand resting lightly on his chest which hindered his approach. Staring questioningly at Georgiana, he caught a strange glint in her joyful eyes. Giggling inwardly, Georgiana assumed her most innocent tone of voice.
"Not me silly, I meant Miss Elizabeth. After all, you have not visited her since she arrived this morning, it is only proper that you pay respects to your guest."
A smirk tugged maliciously at her lips as she observed Darcy struggling to maintain his composure. Standing to her full height, Georgiana gently pushed him out the door of the library and gestured impatiently down the corridor.
Darcy hardly knew how to handle the situation, fighting the warm blush that rose to colour his cheeks, he asked his sister with an even voice:
"Are you not coming?"
Georgie smiled angelically. "No, I must begin my studies for the day."
With that said, Georgiana pranced off towards her quarters suppressing the urge to cackle manically.
Darcy gritted his teeth gently and moved once more towards the door down the corridor. Knocking on the door, he received no answer and instead felt a wave of déjà vu. He quietly entered the room and found Elizabeth much as he had left her, slumbering quietly upon the dark coverlets of the large bed.
As he approached, he could bring himself to mutter little more than a half hearted goodbye. Even to his own ears, he sounded pathetically reluctant. Grinning indulgently at himself, he came to stand by her bedside as he looked down upon her with a quietly affectionate smile.
He could not help but stare. He always could not help but stare when she was near. It had become something of a habit. As he observed her, his eyes were once more drawn to her full pouty lips. Instinctively, as if pulled by an invisible force, Darcy leaned gently forwards.
He stopped mere inches away as he savoured the heat that radiated from her. Trying desperately to pull back, Darcy's self control seemed to give out, leaving him helpless to her pull. Ever so gently, he brushed his lips to hers and shivered at the sensation, lingering for a few heart stopping moments, Darcy savoured the taste of her lips. He pulled away, his tongue trailing a path across his lips.
"Goodbye Elizabeth."
Quickly striding from the room, he closed the door quietly behind him and walked towards his awaiting carriage.
The door of the room clicked gently shut.
Elizabeth's eyes snapped open.
A/N: Tada! All done. Another cliffie for the sake of your frustration. LOL! How was it? Any good? Tell me what you think! REVIEW!
Love C.