Chap 7
It's past midnight when Wei-Li goes below deck. Except for the humming coming from the engines, the ship is silent.
They prayer is still lingering in her mind, humming it's presence. She can hear low voices down the hall. It's the gards. She recognizes Lee's joking voice. But she has no interest in mingling with them. No one has directed her to a place to sleep, it would be easy to ask someone – But she dosen't feel like talking to anyone. She walks longer in, further down the ship.
The familiar sound of rustling pots and pans can be heard. It's the kitchen. She peaks around the corner and sees a old, small man cleaning. He sweeps the floor for a bit, then stops and rearranges things as he walks around. He notices her.
"Can I help you Miss?" He bows. "I… My name is Wei-Lin. I am the new chef for the Royal family." She bows back. Her voice is a whisper. "I see my dear. You want to inspect the kitchen? It's not mutch, but we have everything we need. Care for some tea while I show you around?" He gestures at a small table in the corner. The kitchen isn't really much to look at. Most things seem very old and worn – but well taken care of. She puts her bag by the table and take a seat. He pours the tea. It smells flowery.
He eyes her while he serves. He looks at her expensive outfit and her posture. "My name is Aoi. I am the chef of this ship."
She is silent for a while, but understands what he is after.
"My father is the innkeeper of a Fire-nation inn. I have always served as a chef. The Royals stayed with us for a week and gave me the position as a personal chef."
"I see." Aoi nods. "Any help is always welcomed, even tough it is not many meals away until we reach the capital."
He continues; "First it is important to tend to the fires. Scrape the ashes and make sure everything is in order. Morning before dawn, midday and evening. Always have water for tea. After the tending of the fires by morning we serve breakfast. Lunch is served after the fires are tended at midday. But the fires for the nighttime are tended to after dinner. I will show you all the storages tomorrow."
She bows slightly "Thank you, I will tend the fires properly."
"You must be tired my dear. If you want, I could see to that someone shows you a room."
"If it's possible, I would like to stay here. Maybe it seems strange, but the kitchen is comforting. I'm far away from home."
The old man nods once again and rises. He picks up a sleeping mat and a simple blanket.
"Do as you wish. I am glad for an extra pair of hands."
He puts the mat and blanket down in front of the big fireplace in the kitchen. "I will give you some privacy. I'm tired myself and will retire to my own room. We will talk more tomorrow." He nods at her and then exits.
She undresses and folds the clothes neatly, but keeps the black underdress on to sleep in. She lets out her hair and removes the golden braids and diadem. When she lies down in front of the fire, she can hear the enginges clank underneath her, trough the thin matress she's on. The clanking and the sounds from the fire, lulls her to sleep.
–
Zuko hadn't seen a trace of Wei on the ship. She wasn't in her assigned room, nor the big hall. She didn't show for tea either.
After the big revelations from Iroh, he felt worried. Why couldn't Iroh told him about this?
He walks the corridors and halls. It's eerily quiet. He walks deep in to the ship, far away from the sleeping quarters.
The light from a fireplace at the end of a corridor casts shadows on the walls. When he approaches, he realizes it's the kitchen.
He can see her. She sleeps on the steel floor on an old mat. The room is dark, except for the light from the fire.
She is barefoot and her long black hair is tangled. In the corner he sees her bag and clothes.
He thinks about waking her and showing her the better room that she was assigned – But no, he should leave her alone.
For some time, he stands in the doorway and watches her sleep.
She wakes up before dawn. She puts on pants and a old pair of shoes, she dosen't want to wear the nice new ones in the kitchen. She braids her hair and finds herself an apron and a towel that she lays over her left shoulder. With a rake and a bucket in one hand and a prayer still lingering in her heart, she walks to tend the fires. The air in the ship is cold and smells of steel and sea. To tend the fires gives her peace of mind. If you can't take care of a fireplace the proper way – how will you control a fire inside you?
With her prayers she tends the fire in the big hall, the dining room and last, the kitchen.
She starts immediately with the breakfast. There isn't much food in the storage, but she makes a simple spiced flatbread and some broth. She tries out her new curved carving knife on some apples and makes small flowers to put in the broth. They don't look as good as the one she saw in Fire Fountain, but they still look nice enough to serve.
"You tended the fires nicely. Your father must have taught you well" Aoi says behind her.
She smiles and starts to arrange the breakfast on trays. Aoi looks at her work with appreciation. He picks up a heavy tray with ease – He might be a small man but a life in the kitchen has made him tough and strong as a rock. She suddenly realizes.
"Aoi, you are an earthbender!"
He smiles. "You have good intuition for a kitchen girl. A very few can notice that kind of chi without actually see one bend. A dangerous and very useful gift." He looks at her, curiously. She feel a bit embarrassed, his bending is none of her business. She bows nervously. "You know and learn a lot about people, when serving and feeding them."
"Hm" He says, picking up the tray and starts to walk to the dining room. She follows in silence.
The dinner room is full. She can see Ray is sitting at the end of the table, but just before he looks back at her, she averts her gaze.
Really, she didn't care. There had been to much happening the last days for her to have time about that bad date. Really. Or not, she was still hurt – a small angry flame burned in the pit of her stomach. But the best was just to try to let it sit, pretend she didn't really care. Zuko and Iroh sat at the other end of the table, but she averted her eyes from them too. In this room, she was just a servant.
Aoi serves the food and Wei-Lin serves the tea. She then takes her place in the corner. The room is eerily silent.
"Wei-Lin, as usual your tea is delicious. If you wouldn't already hired, I would have payed you well to work in my teashop."
She bows "I am very flattered, General. A mild blend of ginger always perks the senses in the morning."
"So it does, so it does." He smiles and drinks his tea, oblivious to the silence that surrounds and follows.
She tries her best to keep her posture and calm, but it's getting harder and harder. It's hard to remember her training, herself.
They eat and the porcelain clinks. The fire crackles. Small conversations, but mostly silence. She closes her eyes. Tries to find the river inside her. Thinks about the water, the water that surrounds her. The river that flows within, beneath, around her. Let the fire inside me be a stream that seeks the lake… Why is this so hard for her? Maybe, it's because she can feel Zuko's eyes on her. Is he angry because she chose to sleep in the kitchen? But why must she pretend that she is something she isn't? No matter what they have heard about her, they could have been mistaken! Claiming to know her mother, her mother could be dead or met another man, what do they know! She's just the innkeepers daughter! She clenches her fists behind her back. Entangles them in the knot of her apron. In the pit of her stomach, the angry flame grows. She needs to get out, fast, before she embarrass herself or anyone else. There are several empty plates sitting on the table. With a humble bow and nod to Aoi, she gracefully collects them on a tray and exits. Maybe he will not be happy about her leaving, but she could probably tell a white lie about the dishes and the prep for lunch.
Wei-Lin's hands are shaking beneath the tray as she hastes trough the corridor of the ship. The stream that seeks the lake…. A roar is growing in her stomach. Trembling, she reaches the kitchen, closes the door and puts down the tray on the steel floor.
Waves in the darkness
Light in my heart.
She looses her balance, falls to her knees, and a sob is coming from her mouth. She grinds her teeth and covers her face, when she cries, smoke comes out of her nostrils and mouth. There is no point of stopping it now. No point of turning back. The cold steel floor grows warm underneath her. Even tough she tries, she cannot get the inner strenght to stand up.
"I understand how it is, to miss your family. It can be hard to adjust – but eventually, you will make this life your home too."
Aoi speaks calmly behind her. She didn't notice him come in. "A part of me resented to cook for the ones that had caused my family so much misery. But I adjusted. And I could see, that at the table, we are not so different after all. The thing holding one back is anger and sadness. To let it go is a great gift to yourself."
She sighs deeply. "What if I will only bring shame with me? What if I cannot adjust to all the new rules?"
"You will. Tomorrow at dawn we will arrive at the Royal Plaza harbour. There is a library onboard. What if I would give you until then off and let you read some of your history?"
"That would… Be nice. Thank you Aoi."
She sighs again and wipes the tears away. He puts a gentle hand on her shoulder. "Just help me with the cleaning first. You will not have any free time when you arrive at the Palace, so better now or never."
The library is very small and consist mostly of books about boat engineering. But there are also some about history and geography. She never had any formal schooling – Her mother and father did most of her teaching at home. From her knowledge, schools and teachings were a serious and different thing in the Capital. She sits down in the corner and reads. It's mostly about the great rulers of the nation. About the royal fire and the born right to rule. This was something her parents skipped to tell her about. They had never been that excited about royals or nobles. And the history books are almost exclusively about the royals and nobles, the great warlords and their courage. The history about the Royal family stretches a long way. About the importance of family and strenght.
Strenght and honour is a word that is often used – This is something that she recognizes from home. 'Obedient but never weak' was something that was hammered in day after day. Still, her upbringing in Yu Dao was different from what was expected as a Fire Nation citizen. All this reading and rules made her more confused about her identity than before. She puts down the book and looks out the small circular window in the room. The window is somewhat dirty, this is not a room that people come to often, she assumes.
There is nothing to see except waves and more waves. She could pretend the ship was going somewhere else. Maybe just forever at the ocean, never coming to a shore. Like most Fire Nation Fleets. And she could live here, on the ship. Maybe see the ices in the Northern Water tribes – she had never even seen someone from the tribes. But she'd heard stories and seen some paintings.
'Sun Warrior's tribe' was something she had heard in a vague fairy tale. It was too hard to belive all these things. She felt she needed time to think, time to contemplate, space – But none of these things was possible. There was only her future now, and it felt like the thunderstorms in her dream, that she was riding into the heart of the storm and nothing could stop it. Her fate was locked and sealed and all she could do was follow the stream… She sighs again. No, there had been enough crying already. She wasn't a child anymore, it was time to let go and follow. Instead of avoiding, it was time to live it trough, how hard it would be. Powers beyond her control was in charge, and if weakness would seek it's way in, she would succumb to it.
"I don't understand why you didn't tell me these things. You must understand that I am the Fire Lord now, and it I can't trust you, I don't know who I can trust."
Zuko sits with a straight posture in his room. He looks composed, but anyone can see that he is upset.
"I had to wait for the right time. I did not know about your relationship. I had to think before I told anyone anything. Discretion is of utmost importance in this case. I had to be certain. Also – I wanted to give you the time now, on board the ship, to think about what to do next."
"What do you mean, 'to do next?'"
"Wei is strong. But she is also young and untrained. She is raised a servant and the world of the court and politics, will confuse her. When the time is right, she will find her fate and her place in the Fire Nation. But for now, there are too many stirred emotions. Let her live with the sages and reunite with her mother in the temple for two weeks. We will present it as an education. As a girl from Yu Dao, she needs to learn about customs in the Capital and with the royal family. In reality, she needs to be in contact with her inner spirits. Only then, will her true potential come forth."
Zuko sighs. "I understand. But still, I don't. From now on, I want you to tell me everything."
"And this I will." Iroh nods.
Wei-Lin wakes up to a dark room. She is still in the worn down library. Confused, she looks up. She fell asleep in the reading chair. Someone gave her a blanket. A sweet smell of jasmine tea lingers in the room, mixing with the smell of iron and old books.
"You missed dinner." It's Zukos voice.
"I'm sorry, I didn't even realize I've fallen asleep." She rubs her eyes and sits up. Zuko is sitting by the fire on a mat. In front of him is a small tray with a teapot and two cups. He meets her eyes hastily, but then looks away and into the fire, almost.. awkward?
"Did you… Thank you for the blanket." She wraps the blanket around her shoulders and walks to sit by the fireplace. She blinks and adjusts to the light from the flames. Zuko looks at her. Her eyes are a bright amber. Almost yellow in the light. The flames are reflecting in her face. She looks relaxed. Her thick black hair is in a messy braid. She is wearing a simple long sleeved black dress with embroderies. The same clothes she wore to breakfast. Dressed as a servant. But she is nothing like that. It angers him and confuses him to see her sit, a relaxed but still a bit slumped – the position of a servant. She looks up, suddenly and meets his eyes. A small smile lingers on her warm, full lips. It feels like something burns in his chest. He blushes. But still, it's hard to look away. "I .. I brought you tea" He mumbles hastily, his hand is grabbing the teapot. She leans in and touches his hand, the one over the teapot. He can feel the warmth from it. How it travels from her hand to his, to the tea. "I always warm it up one extra time, before serving it. You should try to do it too. It's about getting the temperature right." He looks up again. Meeting his eyes, her smile fades a bit and her grip on his hand tightens. The air grows warm around them. He has kind eyes She thinks.
He raises his other hand and strokes her left cheek. The hand is warm, almost burning to the touch. When she cover his hand with hers, he flinches, as if he tought she would push him away, but she dosen't. When he moves closer, she doesn't move away.
Inches from her face, he gently removes his hand from the teapot and instead, holds her hand tightly. She gasps, forcefully grabs him close to her – kissing him, almost aggressive. He follows, kissing her back with violent need. They tumble on the hard steel floor – the room is growing warmer. His arms are holding her firmly – grabbing and tugging at her dress. She shifts so he can reach easier. His hands trails under her dress, ower her back and down her backside, he gasps in her mouth. She clenches her fists behind his neck and frusts, smoke comes out her nostrils and mouth. His hands are traveling down all her spots – and she wants him. He finds her undergarment and tugs at it, slips his hand in and drags it down. She holds his neck in a firm grip, She can feel that he is ready. Her hand is burning his neck, but they are too lost in the passion to care about it.
"Wei Lin? Are you in here?" Iroh's voice is echoing in the corridor outside. In chock they let go of eachother and tries desperately to regain their composure. In a instant they jump back to the place by the fire, she pours the tea. Zuko is blushing and heaving.
"Wei! There you are!" Iroh happily enters the room. "It's really warm in here! Ventilation in ships, huh?" He smiles at them. Wei-Lin drinks her tea in one swig. "And Zuko! I found everyone! How nice that someone is using the old library-room."
"So, Wei, I would like to discuss some arrangements with you before we arrive. I am sorry to interrupt your tea time but it is very important that you will hear this information, as we are arriving early tomorrow."
"Of course General. " She stands up. She meets eyes with Zuko, for a brief moment a look of embarrasment shades her features.
Confused, he looks back. "I'll be right with you." He nods.
She follows Iroh out in the hallway, and thats when Zuko sees it, the source of her embarrasment. Her undergarments is still on the floor in the corner. He sprints out and puts them in his pocket, hopefully Iroh didn't notice. Especially after all those hints of 'young love' and 'not misleadning the innkeepers daughter'. He frowns and shifts. Nothing of this was planned. Or maybe it was? A part of him wanted it, and made it happen. It felt like this was his chance, before the temple and the politics of the Capital, would take her away for ever. But she had completely surprised him. She was hungry and bold. Just as the warrior he'd seen some of, she took what she wanted and didn't excuse for it. He had never met anyone that unafraid. And it made him want her more. No matter what the consequenses, he just let himself be dragged in. She is a servant, because she chooses to be. Not because it was forced on her. If she would choose warrior, she will be a warrior, if she chooses queen, she would be that to.
Something clenches in his chest. He took this too far. He needed to keep his distance.