Chapter 3: Panic in the Closet

Tink had returned from her birthday shopping excursion with Hook an hour ago. Her busy morning had more than worn her out. Her body urged her to let off some steam and clear her head, so she went for a run. Being a fairy who was able to fly was wonderful and relaxing, but after the day she had – one that was only halfway over and to be continued with a high-tension dinner – she needed to feel her feet slapping the hard pavement and the physical exertion on her taut muscles.

That stupid pirate and his infatuation over the Savior! I just can't even… Urgh! I mean, I can understand him falling all over a beautiful woman. What I can't understand is why it was so hard to pick the woman a present! The captain who rarely changed his clothes and still slept in a bunk in one of his ship's cabins – smaller than Regina's guest bathroom – had prolonged their 'quick stop to buy Swan a trinket' into an indecisive five-hour-long tour of all the shops in the next town over. Of course, he just had to ask my opinion of every single thing he picked up, meaning every tangible object in sight! For goodness sake! Emma Swan is about as picky and high maintenance as the pirate, which equals not at all. She wears jeans and a white wife beater daily and changes out the button-down or the jacket. She gets as excited as a kid in a candy store every time she eats her daily bear claw. If that's not the mind of a simple, easy-to-please person, I don't know what is!

Tink's mind continued circling the root of her annoyance – Killian Jones – until she had traveled her usual running circuit at least three times. The vivacious pixie would have been caught in her abysmal thoughts and mindless exercise for much longer, but the ring of her cellular device graciously interrupted her mechanical actions.

"Hello? Regina? What's wrong?"

"I am so relieved I caught you! Do you know what time it is?!"

"Um…" Tink pulled the phone away from her ear and checked the time. "Four."

"Yes. It is four o'clock in the afternoon. The Locksleys arrive in two hours. You are not here. I am NOWHERE near prepared for tonight!"

The volume of Regina's voice had steadily escalated to a yell during her last set of panicked statements. All Tink wanted to do was go home, shower, and turn in for a nice long nap. Being the faithful friend that she was, she opted for reassuring the uncharacteristically panicked mayor by unselfishly offering her services.

"Calm it down, Gina. I'll be right over. We've got this under control."

Regina audibly exhaled. "You're a lifesaver, Tink! Don't let anyone else know I actually told you that. But thank you! Oh, and…" She stalled.

The sweaty fairy was starting to feel itchy in her damp clothes. As much as she cared for her friend, her discomfort was overriding her patience.

"Regina, anytime in the next century would be fine. I love you to death, but you already want me to get over there ASAP. I can't do that if you won't tell me what else you need. The daylight hours are burning!"

"R-right," stuttered Regina, sounding unusually shy and ungrounded. "Could you help me pick out an outfit when you arrive. For the life of me, I cannot decide. Nothing seems right!"

Regina huffed in frustration, and Tink snickered.

"Of course I'll help you, Gina. I'm not a pixie for nothing! You don't think the average seamstress could make the complicated dress we wear, do you? Just the fact that those dresses automatically change without shredding when we shift between human and fairy shows skill!"

"Thank you, Tink, for such an enlightening tidbit on a fairy's wardrobe. I'll see you in ten." Click. Regina had ended the call.

Ten? Good luck with that, sister. I am NOT passing up a shower and change of clothes.

Tink rang the doorbell at the Mills manor. No answer. She wasn't about to wait around outside like a loitering salesman, so she tried the door. It was unlocked.

Proceeding slowly while scanning the house for her friend, Tink made her way through the foyer. She checked the kitchen and the study, finding no one. She then climbed the colossal staircase and headed to the upstairs master suite.

Bingo! Inside her queen-sized domain, Regina was frantically pacing and wringing her hands. Although her hair was coiffed to perfection as usual and her makeup expertly applied, all color had departed from Regina's face, lending her a ghostly, sickly pallor. She suddenly discontinued her nervous treading and whirled around to face Tink.

"Finally! I almost started to think you left me stranded. You do know you've kept me waiting for a half hour when I specifically told you ten minutes? No matter. What have you brought with you?" Regina suspiciously eyed the bundle of dresses weighing down the petite blonde.

"I brought over my arsenal of knockout dresses in case we can't find the right thing in your stuffy closet," Tink uttered dispassionately. The large selection she had brought was becoming rather heavy, so she unloaded the frocks onto the bed with an ungraceful plop.

"Let's get started!"

Tink could honestly say this mission of finding the perfect outfit was almost as aggravating as aiding Hook in his search for the perfect gift. The only reason her afternoon trumped her morning fell to her opportunity to witness a pouty Regina and see the usually in command, imperious brunette forced to play dress-up doll.

The whole ordeal took much too long. Tink and Regina could not agree on any single outfit. In the beginning, Tink spent close to twenty minutes having to talk Regina out of choosing a pantsuit. "We're trying to remind Robin of what he's missing by choosing to stay with Marian. Dressing up like you are going to a business meeting is not going to stop him in his tracks. How about a dress?" So they moved on to the dresses. The selection was limited to more business attire and a couple of little black dresses.

"None of these will work. You need to make a statement with your dress. Something that says, 'I am ready and waiting. Come and get me.' How about we try some of the dresses I brought? We're running out of time. We need to pick something. And we need to do it soon."

Tink rushed out of the en suite and into the main bedroom to gather up the remaining dress options.

Fatigued and anxious, Regina quelled the desire to mute Tink and her unsolicited attempts at matchmaking and be done with this ill-conceived nightmare of a dinner. "I am going to say this once. I am not looking to exhibit to Robin that I am a desperate, lonely, and available woman – especially not with his wife beside him! That being said, you're right. We are running out of time. In thirty minutes, they will be here. So shut up, unzip me, and hopefully we can agree on one of your dresses."

The first dress was a strapless cocktail dress in a beautiful emerald green – Tink's favorite color. Though beautifully hand-stitched and eye-catching, the gown showed off a particular shade of green that unfortunately did not complement Regina's complexion. The next selection was a stunningly simple navy blue wrap dress. The pixie – growing antsier by the second and ready to pick something and move on – thought the navy dress would be perfect. Regina did not agree. While the wrap dress would have left an indelible impression on her dinner companions, Regina felt uncomfortable with just how well it 'enhanced' certain attributes. Tink's athletic figure looked elegantly caressed and even a bit subtly austere in the dark blue, while Regina's more voluptuous build left no room for subtlety, especially with the plunging neckline.

"Hopefully, third time's a charm," Tink breathed out in exasperation. She could not believe Regina had turned down the last garment – an ideal choice in the pixie's opinion.

"This one actually looks respectable," Regina judged, noting her approval of the high-necked red dress Tink held up.

The fairy bit back the laugh threatening to spill from her closed lips, as she knew what was about to come.

"Tink! I cannot believe this! I am definitely NOT wearing this!"

Now wearing the extremely tight dress, Regina stood in front of her floor-length mirror, turning this way and that to evaluate her appearance. Although the red number certainly hugged her sensuous curves in a flattering manner, she found that the dress was not as conservative as she had initially believed it to be, discovering how it nearly left her entire back exposed, save three small silver chains elegantly draping across her upper back and holding together the top of the dress.

"Whoa there, lady in red! You look great! Hot, even!" Tink gave a gleeful clap of her hands and wolf whistled. "Ruby would be proud. Wait! Let me send a picture!"

Regina glared at her friend derisively, huffing and puffing and tapping her foot in an annoyed manner. "Get on with taking your dumb picture. I am sure I couldn't stop you even if I tried."

Tink quickly snapped two photos – a front and a back shot – and texted them to Ruby.

DING! The wolf responded almost immediately.

"Ruby says, and I quote, 'Looking sexy and ready to kill. I approve.'" Tink informed with a mischievous glint in her eyes.

Regina rolled her eyes. "I am not going for 'sexy'. This is a family dinner. Roland will be there –not to mention Henry. I do not want to scar my son for life! Plus, you know Ruby. She loves anything in the color red and any article of clothing even hinting at risqué!"

"Risqué? Seriously, Reg. Every piece of your wardrobe when you were the Evil Queen exposed far more skin than this dress!" Tink was becoming increasingly irritated. Since when is Regina a conservative dresser? Even her mayoral business outfits are tight and beguiling! Where is this insecurity coming from?

"The fact that you even mentioned the Evil Queen and how she dressed in the same sentence as this dress just proves to me how much of a mistake this particular dress would be!" Regina threw her hands into the air and walked back into her closet.

"Come back here!" Tink grabbed her brunette companion's lower right arm and dragged her back to the mirror. "Look at yourself. This…" Tink gestured up and down, highlighting how the dress fit Regina's body like a glove. "This is the right one. It's no tighter than your Mayor outfits, and the skin that does show – your back – is not in a particularly scandalous area. Just wear it! When you open the door looking like a goddess, Robin will kick himself that he hasn't already divorced his boring, ugly wife!"

"A goddess? Hardly, dear." Regina scoffed. "As to Marian…no comment. But I still say no."

"Come on! I made totally valid points. This dress is the best thing you've tried on in the last hour. I guess you could tone down the red… I know! Make it light gray. It's not a flashy color, but it looks positively delicious on you. Your thief could not stop staring at you that day you vanquished the snow monster – you know, you were wearing that light grey dress and jacket with the thigh-high slit. Use your magic to change the color. I'm sure Henry wouldn't mind. You've used magic to do a ton of good since the Curse was broken. Besides, this counts as a good deed worthy of using magic, since you looking good for this dinner can only increase your chances at a happy ending with your Robin."

"Fine."

Regina magicked away the trashy red and replaced it with a softer dove gray.

Turning to Tink, she stated firmly, "Now get out. I appreciate your aid in dress selection. But now, I must slip into my 'battle armor' and check on the food. You too must quickly get ready. You are free to use the guest room to change. I trust you can see yourself there."

With a nod, the blonde exited the queen's chambers and headed to prepare for the evening.