HAY GUYS sorry i havent updated for ages! Uv all been missing ur lil flame opportunities i bet. Here ya go then!!

When I woke up, the sunlight was falling on my bed…Oh my God…I am actually in a bed. The last time I was in a bed was in Rohan, and that felt like ages ago. I looked over to my right, and Nicky was lying there, with Haldir by her bedside.

"Hi there you, and who's this?" I ask in mock surprise.

"You're so much luckier than me! I woke up early 'cos I was hungry. But they wouldn't let me out of bed! Scandalous! Breakfast in bed though, I've been having a great time."

"OK, just one question. What happened to you?" I asked, staring at her bandaged shoulder.

"Weeell, this little bastard Orc dude tried to spit me, I got my revenge though, both of him must regret it."

"Sounds fun. I got a fair few Orcs myself. The last I counted, I think I had like, one hundred and eight or something." I said casually.

"Well, I lost count, what a shame, but from what I hear, you went down before me, so I must have got twice as much as you did. So, how much do you owe me?"

"Gutted. Well, I suppose I owed you an elf, but you seem one step ahead of me." I said, looking at Haldir, who was trying to follow our conversation.

"Mmmm, It seems I already have one of those, he's a designer original." She said grinning.

"Well, you certainly didn't waste any time did you. Imagine what you're going to tell your children, 'we met in a war…'" I said, laughing.

At this point it seemed that Haldir got the gist of what we were saying, he blushed scarlet. "That'd be an interesting story to tell."

"And speaking of hot beings, where's my elf?" I asked Nicky.

"Right here, my Lady." Legolas said, coming out from a corner of the room.

"Legolas! I gather we won?" I said, indicating for him to come over.

"We did indeed. How are you feeling?" He asked in concern.

"Probably much the same as me, " Nikky said, "wishing that you had a local anesthetic."

I laughed, "Yup, that's pretty much how I'm feeling at the mo."

Legolas bent down and gave me a hug.

"You lucky bitch, no-one can hug me with this." Nikky said gesturing towards her shoulder.

"Yeah well, I bet you're wishing for more than a hug eh." I said, giving Haldir an encouraging nod.

Nikky laughed, "Wishing, hoping, dreaming… giving…"

"And how's my Legolas? Did you get hurt?" I asked, trying to fill in the missing pieces of last night.

"I'm fine. I didn't get hurt, one of my companions did, but he was saved by Nicky here." He told me, gesturing towards Haldir.

I raised my eyebrows at Nicky, "Good girl! You saved him. You're in!"

"One way to get a guy interested right?" She replied, grinning.

"I suppose." I turned to Haldir, "You seem like the strong silent type, how did you get into trouble?"

"I'm not sure. An Orc came and attacked me and managed to get the point of his sword in my stomach. Another Orc came from behind me, and the Lady Nikky attacked him, and saved my life, for which I am eternally grateful." He said, smiling warmly down at Nikky.

"No probs, so, you guys have been standing here for hours, if you're gonna stay, then why don't you get a chair or something? And ahhh, while your at it, I betcha Mitzi here is hungry, and its been a while since I last ate too, double date?"

Haldir looked at her in confusion, Legolas just shook his head, "We'll go get you some food."

While the men were gone, it was time for a little female bonding time; we swapped stories of what happened to us during the battle. By the time Nikky had finished her story of her valiant saving of Haldir, the guys had come back with food, and chairs.

"Right fellas, take a seat. What kai you got there?" I asked, sniffing the food basket.

"Kai?" Legolas asked.

"Means food in my native language." I said, grinning at Nikky.

"Au, too right cuz."

"Nikky you wigga." I laughed.

"Pcchhhtt, don't diss." She said.

"So, what's for eating?" I asked.

"We have bread and honey, we could toast the bread for you, fresh butter, fine fruits, berry preserve, and a little cured meat."

"Yeah, I'll take number ten, could I have fries with that?" Nikky asked grinning.

"I'm sorry my Lady, I'm not sure we have that," Haldir said, "could we get you anything else?" The funny thing was, he looked really concerned.

I laughed. God this guy was funny.

"Nah, I'm good." She replied, laughing.

"Well, stop talking, and lets eat!" I said, grabbing the basket. Nikky and I scoffed our faces, while the guys just hung round, looking all polite and gracious. I mean, please, don't these guys ever eat?

"Are you guys going to eat anything, or are you going to sit there and stare at it?" I asked them, my mouth full of bread.

"Table manners Carmen." Nikky said.

"I'm not at a table!" I said rudely.

"Nevertheless, we have company to impress."

"Meh, apparently I've already impressed mine." I said, taking another.

"But you reckon he'll still wanna snog you when he's seen you're mouth full of mashed up bread?"

"Hay, I don't wanna snog at the mo. My leg hurts like a thousand bee's have stung me, and there is no such thing as anesthetic, so my mind is kind of occupied." I said back.

"Well, you may not want to snog at the moment, but you will soon, and his mind will be full of the sight of your half desiccated bread."

"Cough, Miss Congeniality, cough." I pretend-spluttered.

"Pcchhhtt, I wrote that script, why should I not quote it?"

"Because Universal could possibly get pissed at you. Then again, we're millions of miles away from earth. Meh, say whatever you want. You know, I can't even remember what we were arguing about!" I said, grabbing more food.

"Table manners, and our ahhh, guests opinion of yours."

"OK, I'll chew with my bloody mouth closed! Happy? Come here Legolas. Watch this Nikky." Legolas came over to me, obviously thinking that I wanted to talk to him. As he came closer, I grabbed his head, pulled him in and kissed him. He looked kinda stunned after, but I could tell he was…Pleasantly surprised.

"Hay Nikky, I don't think our…Guests, mind it much." I said cheekily.

"Who cares what they think, you've scarred me for life."

"Yeah, you'll get over it."

"Do you not understand the whole 'for life' thing?" She replied shaking her head.

"Yeah, but you have a short attention span. Give it three days and you would have forgotten it already." I said, unconcernedly.

"Attention span and memory are two different things, I'm like an elephant in many ways, but I never forget."

"In which way like an elephant?" I asked sneakily.

"Well, as I said, I never forget, but also, people want me for my… tusks."

"I think Haldir likes your… Tusks!" I laughed.

"Not many people have been able to resist my… Tusks."

"Bill likes your tusks! I mean, he's always after them isn't he." I asked.

"I think most blokes back there are after women's… tusks."

"The more ivory, the better!" I giggled.

"No wonder they get boners over my piano."

"I don't think it's that kind of ivory Nikky."

"Well, you never know right?"

"Yeahhh…Anyway, enough talk."

"Sooo ah, Haldir, you like my tusks?"

"Like an Oliphaunt eh!" I giggled at Haldir.

"The Lady Nikky is not an Oliphaunt!" He said, outraged at such impoliteness.

"Oh, you'd be surprised."

He looked at us strangely.

I yawned. I was not one to sit in a bed all day, and all this lazing around was making me bored.

"Hay uhhh, I have a problem, we worked so hard to get a tan, and now you're gonna make us stay inside until we're white. Sooo not cool."

"Yeah, we need to get our vitamin D!" I said earnestly.

Nikky threw her blankets off and swung her legs off the bed. "I can already feel the fat congealing from my lack of movement." She was a bit wobbly, but with Haldir by her side, she made it upright without too much trouble.

"Oh Legolas? Could you be a darling and help me?" I asked sweetly, pulling my bed covers off. My whole left thigh was covered in bandages. It still throbbed painfully and I felt a sharp pain as I slightly lifted my leg. I cried out in pain.

"Carmen! You really shouldn't be leaving your bed." Legolas told me sternly, trying to lie me back down in bed.

"Nonsense! I'm fine, I just, need help to walk." I said, putting my arms round his neck.

"She can sit just as still outside as she can in." Nikky said.

"Thanks Nick." I said grinning, and let Legolas take all my weight as we struggled outside, "Sorry if I weigh like a ton of bricks, I don't know how much weight I put on since last night."

"You are like a feather in my arms Carmen, we need to feed you, give you more strength." Legolas said seriously.

"I'm all lightheaded, I feel like I'm drunk… I should do this more often." Nikky said laughing.

"Fully! I'm with you on that." I said, of course, I didn't mind being this close to Legolas.

The air outside was crisp and refreshing, the sun blazing down, Nikky breathed a sigh of relief as the crisp morning breeze hit her face.

"That's much better." I sighed, getting rather ungraciously to the grass. Nicky sat next to me and we immediately adjusted ourselves as to catch the best rays of sun.

"I'll be brown again in no time." I said.

"I need a tan on my stomach." Nikky said, peeking at her stomach, "But it might be inappropriate to haul my top up with all these men about."

"I think you could give them a heart attack, showing that much skin. Remember we are in a time where it is considered slutty to show your shins." I said, glancing round at the guys, "Although, I don't think they'd mind much."

"They should count themselves lucky." Nikky muttered under her breath.

"I think Haldir does." I said. He was staring avidly at Nikky and gave a start as he heard his name.

"Lucky or cursed?" Nikky said grinning.

"Oh. My. God. LUCKY!!!!" I cried.

"Yeah, well, that's what you think."

"Yeah, I think my opinion is very important." I said, giving her a look.

"To you or me?"

"To the whole frickin' world of course!" I said loudly, "Hear me, Middle Earth!"

All around us people turned to stare curiously. "I think they heard you." Nikky said solemnly.

"Oh shit! Sorry! Back to work." I said, waving.

Nikky reached up with her good arm and hauled Haldir onto the grass next to her.

I grabbed Legolas's knees and made him come toppling down on me. I giggled.

"Whoops!" I apologized.

"Whoops! Ha, such an accident." Legolas said grinning at me.

"There you are!" Aragorn had come jogging down to us, "You weren't in your beds, you could have let me know you were coming out here. When did you wake up Carmen?"

"Meh, not long ago. I feel OK; it's just my leg. It hurts like a bitch." I said unconcernedly.

"Auuuw. Come here, I'll give you a hug." Legolas said, and cuddled me.

"Hee, hee. That's all the anesthetic I need." I said cheekily.

"Hay Haldir, can I have some stronger anesthetic." Nikky said, grinning.

"What strength, My Lady?" Haldir asked, grinning.

"Oh, I'm in sooo much pain, it'll need to be the strongest you have." She replied.

Haldir didn't waste any more words, he leaned over and kissed her, as he pulled away, she grinned. "That's some weak anesthetic Haldir, cant you do better?"

He raised an eyebrow, and tried again, "Much better." Nikky replied as he pulled away, then she turned to me, "I hope you're not in as much pain as I am, your anesthetic seems kinda weak."

"Weak? Ha! OK, I think we should stop this now." I couldn't forget that Aragorn was standing right there.

"Well, anesthetic is usually dealt out in private, hmmm?" She said raising an eyebrow at Haldir.

"Uhhh, what is anesthetic?" He asked.

"Ehmm, Nicky, Aragorn wants a word I think?" Nudging her. We laughed at Aragorn face. He looked like he couldn't believe what he was seeing.

"What?" Nikky asked him indignantly, "You did it on TV."

"Begging your pardon, my Lady, but I don't follow you. I would prefer it if I remained lost." Aragorn said, shaking his head.

"Cough Arwen cough…" Nikky spluttered.

"What do you know of Arwen?" He asked us, surprised, "You have not met her on our travels."

"The magic of television my friend."

"I'm afraid we must leave Helms Deep now. We are to travel to Isengard. Gandalf has some business there. Though what it is, I cannot guess." Aragorn informed us.

"You mean I have to ride with this?" I asked incredulously, "Won't it be really painful?"

"You can ride with me on Arod. I will make sure you do not get hurt." Legolas told me, getting to his feet.

"OK, I'm good!" I answered quickly. Riding with Legolas? Hell yes!

"And I will take care of The Lady Nikky." Haldir said, too quickly for my liking.

"We ride in one hour. We'll meet you at the Gate."

"So, what's going to happen to all your Dudes Haldir?" Nikky asked.

"My… Dudes?" He asked.

"You're so cute when you're confused!" Nikky said, "Your elf dudes, I mean."

"I think they'll go back to Lothlorien Nikky." I said.

"Yeah OK, whatever. Say bye for me. Meanwhile, we gotta get dressed appropriately and get to that gate." She said, rising slowly onto her feet.

"Uhh, dressed in what?" I asked doubtfully. We were still dressed in the original clothes, but they were now all ripped and completely unrecognizable. One leg of my trackies was completely ripped off, as they had to get to my wound. I looked like a complete gump. Nicky looked like she was wearing an off the shoulder top, that wasn't very fashionable.

"Man, we actually need to find some new clothes. I can't stand wearing this any longer!" I cried in desperation.

"Ummm, so we can't exactly go in our dresses…"

"OK, I'm going to ask a local for some clothes. I am not wearing this shit any longer," I said, standing defiantly. Except that I fell over in immense pain.

"Shit Carmen, you OK?" Nikky exclaimed.

My eyes were stinging with tears, "Yup, I'm, good, I suppose."

Legolas quickly bent down and gathered me into his arms.

I sneaked a quick look at Nikky as Legolas started walking towards the ward. She looked at me with a smile. "I feel drunk again! I never want to sit down again! Eternal drunkenness!" She cheered staggering slightly.

I laughed hysterically.

"OK. You stay here and I'll go get you some clothes." Legolas said to me, backing out of the room.

"OK, make sure they're fashionable!" I called after him.

"Fashionable? Carmen, Legolas wouldn't know fashionable if it slapped him in the face." Nikky said, chortling.

"Yeah, guess you're right."

"Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow. Ow!" I cried, as I bumped along on Arod, sidesaddle and in excruciating pain.

"We're almost there." Legolas crowed.

"Almost there! We're only at the Fords of Isen!" I said in exasperation.

"OK, so there is still a bit to go…" Legolas said delicately.

"Just shut it Carmen." Nikky said, to my frustration.

But I decided to let it slide.

"Na uh."

"Ya huh."

OK, maybe not.

Atleast Legolas had found us some clothes. I was wearing a normal day dress, as was Nikky, to her annoyance.

"Come on this is the 21st Century! We should be able to wear what we like!" She argued, her inner I-am-woman-here-me-roar fighting its way out.

"Uuuh, Nicky? The 21st Century was left behind in New Zealand." I reminded her.

"Oh yeah. But still, this is completely sexist and I won't stand for it!"

Now it was my turn to tell her to shut up, which I did.

"Fine, don't stand up for woman-kind then." She huffed.

"I'm too tired to be politically correct Nicky."

"Fair enough."

We lapsed into silence, which lasted for about thirty seconds, until Nicky said:

"Are we there yet?"

I tried not to giggle.

Twenty seconds later:

"Are we there yet?"

I covered my mouth with my hand, trying my hardest not to explode with laughter.

A minute later:

"Are we there yet?"

It was only a matter of time before someone cracked…

"Are we---"

"NO!" about twenty people screamed at her.

I couldn't help it, I laughed into the angry silence and Nicky joined me.

"I don't think we are Nicky." I chortled.

"No, I suppose not." She smiled at me.

It was going to be a long ride to Isengard…

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