CHAPTER 3: TRUE HELL
To say that I'm on the point of hysteric when I think about having to phase and share my mind with the wicked weregirls is an understatement. How the hell will I be able to NOT think of this?!!! Please Lord, please, help me hide my thoughts!
I will never live it down if the weregirls find out! I will be ridiculed and mocked to no end. I bet the evil girls will gossip about it. Girls always gossip. There is even a show about how much girls gossip called the Gossip girl. I know since Samantha used to force me to watch it. I will end up the laughingstock of La Push. Fuck, they will probably make sure that everyone in the entire state of Washington will find out that I'm not just a freak, but also a failure as a man. I'm as good as dead!
Why? Why have the most important part of my body failed me?
Why Lee jr? Why did you do this to me?!
Don't think I just gave up after the first tries. Of course not! I'm not a quitter. I tried... and tried and tried and tried every chance I got, spending a lot of time in the shower or in my bedroom with the door locked. I tried to the point where my sister started to wonder where all her skincare products vanished, why we kept on running out on cooking oil and my dad started wondering where the animal grease he uses to smear his rifles and our canoe with disappeared. Let me just say that despite all of these great lubricants nothing worked! Was it not for werewolf healing I think my hand and arm might have been seriously inflamed and my skin would've been raw.
The thing was that every time I closed my eyes trying to picture beautifully curved smooth skinned honeys, my mind was invaded by snarling and growling sexcrazed she-wolves, looking at me hungrily, like I was their favorite Burger king meal.
I bet you taste so good. Come her baby, let me help you with your little problem. I would love to Lee be my first. Stop lusting after me, I'm with Emil now. He's such a jerk. He looks yummy. He's only in it for the sex. I will ask Emil to tongue-fuck me, you should do that too.
These and similar phrases kept popping in my head, over and over again, making me completely limp.
Real men don't cry, but this sure had me in tears. After my mother's death this was the worst thing ever happen to me!
You know my mom's death meant the death of my childhood and my past. But the death of my dick meant the death of my present and my future! I had nothing! NOTHING!
At least I thought I might come over the fact that my mom was gone and heal, but how can you overcome THIS?!!!
If it wasn't enough I couldn't even find comfort in the mindless state of sleep. When I finally was able to fall asleep I had nightmares so horrific I wouldn't even wish them my worst enemy. No, I would spare Emil and Brian from having suffering the nightmares I had. These were dreams caused by pack mates inability to keep their lust filled thoughts out of their heads when we were phased. So 'thank you' Geraldine for dreaming of kissing and groping Kyle, 'thank you' bitchy ex-girlfriend for dreaming of fucking Emil, 'thank you' Jackie for dreaming of a moaning and sighing Brian. If my dick just had been in a coma, he sure was beyond any hope of repair after that night.
It was clear who was to blame for all of my problems. The Cullen's. If those leeches hadn't showed up I would still be a normal healthy male with functioning organs. I hate those motherfucking parasites, and with good reason.
So to say that I was in a foul mood when I found out that we are to have a meeting with my archenemies, the Cullen's, tonight is an understatement. For some reason we are supposed to protect little clumsy and accident prone Brian from a vicious red-headed vampire called Victor, an ugly fucker who has gone and created himself an army of newborns. Apparently Victor's mate Jamie had an eye for Brian – for my life I can't understand what it is with Brian that draws females to him - and Edwina ended up killing Jamie, which is why Victor now wants to kill Brian as would suit me just fine. That's what happens when you associate with leeches.
Let the Cullen's handle this situation, I say, since they have caused it, but do you think the weregirls listen to reason? Of course not! Girls aren't very logical if you ask me. It's a fact that I have seen proven many times.
Instead of listening to the sharp male logic I offer, they give Jackie advice on how to win Brian back once we have saved him from Victor and his newborn army. Excuse me, haven't they realized that the pathetic little nechrophile's main goal in life is not only to fuck a corpse, but to become one himself! Good riddance!
But since girls, especially weregirls it seems, enjoy playing rescue squad to deranged idiots we have to go and learn how to fight. Apparently the vampires can teach us a trick or two. I seriously doubt it, maybe my dick has failed me, and my boys are dead, but at least I still know how to fight. I don't need some sparkly leeches to show me how to rip a bloodsucker to pieces.
Of course my complaints are not taken into account. Instead I earn myself yet another lecture from Samantha about my attitude problem. Attitude problem?! Just because I voice my opinions instead of following Samantha like a stupid stray puppy with no thought of my own. No-one is keen on being in the close vicinity of the bloodsuckers, but none of the others dares to say anything, of course.
I've managed to skip patrols and keep from phasing for two days, but to get out of this leech rendezvous is clearly not possible. So it is with great dread that I phase to join my pack.
Taha Aki, great Goddess of wolves, please, please help me! But since Taha Aki was a woman I'm sure she could care less for my male problem, so I know I have to take fate into my own know, I'm not one to give up easily, to crawl into some hole and simply rot away or just roll over and accept my fucked up destiny hands down. I'm a fighter!
If there is something years of playing football has thought me, it's that offense is the best defense. So instead of struggling and failing in keeping my nose to the ground and my thoughts blank, which I probably would fail miserably, I prepare my attack.
I know exactly what will make them all backtrack from my mind. It's not a nice thing, it's in fact a horrible thing to do, but I'm desperate and desperate times call desperate measures. I'm tired of playing nice, of being fair. Honestly being a nice person has obviously taken me nowhere, and I have to preserve the little dignity I can.
The minute I phase my mind is attacked by the deprave thoughts of Pauline.
"Hey babe! You sure took off in a hurry the other night" I hear Pauline's suggestive murmuring accompanied by her thinking of my body like I was a prize bull up for an evaluation.
So not what I want to relive, because that will lead me in the direction of dangerous thoughts.
Offense, offense! I remind myself.
"Wonder who Embrie's mom is?" I think loud and clear.
That's a topic that will bother Samantha and what bothers Samantha bothers everyone, she makes sure of that. I hate hurting Embrie, she is such a sweetheart, but it's the only way I can keep my terrible secret safe. I'm sorry Embrie, I'm sorry.
We all know the tragic story of Embrie being dumped on the porch of his father's house in a basket when she was only a week old, with no sign of her mother. Everyone suspects it's Samantha's mother, Josephine Uley, since she had disappeared that year and was quite the slut before that always cheating on Samantha's dad with other men. Like mother like daughter! This is something I think is good to remind Samantha of, shuts her fat trap for once and it will mean that no-one will wants to pry deeper into my thoughts. Maybe I can even get Samantha to alpha command and forbid me from thinking all together. That would be good!
Technically Embrie's mom could also be Billie Black or Mrs Ateara, since Embrie is a year older than both Jackie and Quillie, and I do know from listening to the gossip at the supermarket that Billie was at a rehabilitation center due the injury to her legs for six months before she came back and became pregnant with Jackie, and she did return two days after Embrie was dumped on Mr Call's porch. Mrs Ateara works abroad and comes home only once or twice a year, this she has been doing even before Quillie was born. That's why Quillie is raised by her grandmother, so it could also be Mrs Ateara. Of course I think it's neither but just the mere possibility will trouble my pack mates.
I feel how everyone gets upset by my thoughts, starting growling and barking and trying to block my mind out. Good! Mission accomplished.
"No one wants to hear your opinions on anything Lee" Jackie growls in defense for her friend and her mother.
Embrie's thoughts are erratic and I can feel how she finds it hard to breathe. Dammit, she is going to start crying. I don't want to hurt the little kitten! Now I feel like such a bastard.
"You are a bastard!" Jackie adds.
Am not! I'm just trying to hold on to the last remains of my pride.
"How could you Lee, that's not like you!" My sister Sandy whines.
"Because he's a jerk!" Jackie snarls.
Better be the bastard than the laughingstock of La Push! Sure it kind of hurts hear Jackie call me a jerk and a bastard. But it's not like she would want me in the state I'm in anyways. Who in their right mind would want me now? That's right, no-one!
"Lee! You are once again acting like an immature idiot. Can you at least do as the favor and keep your thoughts for yourself when we meet the Cullen's. Edwina reads minds you know?!" Samantha commands.
What?! That motherfucking rich bitch is a mindreader too? Go damn! I'm seriously fucked, not only will the weregirls laugh their asses off when they find out, now the cold hearted leeches will ridicule me.
So here I am sitting watching a bloodsucker named Jasmine show us battle techniques trying to think of nothing. Nothing, nothing... Nothing... nothing on my mind... Edwina keeps on giving me weird looks, so I started singing the muffin man song very loudly in my head, but apparently that is not an okay song to sing according to Samantha. Strange for her to command me to stop singing it, she is engaged to the muffin man after all. Shouldn't she love the song?!
Jasmine, a southern belle with scars that put Emil's to shame, and Edwina seem to be the most skilled fighters. For vampires that is. I bet I still could take them, both! This earns a cocked eyebrow from Edwina. Mindraper!
I notice how unfairly the vampire coven is organized, just like our pack. It's clear the women are the leaders here, just as in the screwed up pack. What is it with mythological creatures being matriarchal societies?
Our rez has been run by women for generations, actually as far back as our legends can tell and clearly vampires are ruled by women too. That sucks. Where in this world are men treated as equals? Today at least some things have improved, for instance women only have one husband these days, but it's not like all of us haven't heard of Taha Aki, our wolfmother, and her three husbands. The third husband is held as some kind of hero, slicing his own throat to save his tribe. But do you think the women of our tribe have even bothered to remember his name? That's right, of course they haven't, since male's are looked upon as unimportant additions to the tribe, only good for fathering children and giving the woman pleasure, hunting and slaving for her.
So maybe it shouldn't be such a surprise to see that this leech coven is lead by no other than Dr Cullen, Carlie Cullen, who is married to a quiet and meek looking vampire named Ismael. Everyone keep talking about what a great woman Dr Cullen is, but how the hell can it be an act of compassion to turn innocent people into vamps? I would much rather die than becomes a corpse like that.
The third leech woman is Emmy. Now she seems like a cool girl, if she wasn't a vamp. Emmy's kind of hot, for a leech that is, and she seems to have a sense of humor, not to mention the fact that she's the one who nearly rammed into Pauline last week when we hunted Victor on our border, for that alone I think she might be okay. If she wasn't a leech that is.
The other two males are Al and Ross. Ross is your typical jock You know if the circumstances were different I might actually get along with him quite well.
Then we have the other male, Al. Looking at him I finally understand the meaning of the word metrosexual. Even I can recognize how stylish he is. He is at least a head shorter than his southern belle Jasmine, but I guess Scarface there doesn't mind. Al is short and skinny and apparently suffers from visions of some sort. I feel sorry for him, but he seems a little crazy. I know crazy when I see it. Pauline for instance: sex-crazy, just looking at her tells this, you don't need to be in her mind to know that the girl is all about sex.
Recognizing the mad gleam in Al's eyes I know which of the leeches I have to stay the furtherest away from, it's him along with the mindraper, because no way in hell can I let her catch wind of the death of my dick.
OH NO!
FUUUUUUCK! Fuck, fuck, fuck.
I DID NOT THINK THAT OUT LOUD!
God dammit, fuck, I'm dead! .
I DID THINK IT OUT LOUD!
Everything has gone still. I'm frozen in horror, my heart hammering like crazy. I'm dead.
The silence interrupted by the bell like voice and evil gleam in rich leech bitch's eyes, "Looks like wolfman here isn't a real man after all!"
I'm going to kill that fucking bitch!
"Stop Lee!" And with the double timbre of the alpha my body goes stock still.
"What a waste of a perfect body" Pauline drawls. "Don't worry Lee, you can still use your tongue and fingers." and then that goddamn bitch starts laughing. Laughing.
I do the only thing possible. I run. With the most miserable howl ever heard in the Olympic Peninsula I charge through the forests. I run and I run and I run. But there is nowhere to run. There is no escaping this.
The shame burns through me and I finally realize that I'm truly in hell now!
AN: Poor Lee indeed. He will suffer some more, that's for sure, but don't worry, he'll get a happy ending!