[Ok, here's another chapter, I hope you like it. Tell me if I have any mistakes, please, in a review. I DO NOT OWN ANYTHING IN CRIMINAL MINDS OTHER THAN MY CHARACTERS! Please enjoy and review^^]
"Did you see the news?!" Ms. Darcy asked from the porch, surprising me (actually, making me sh** my pants).
"Uh, y-yeah. I did." I told her as I was walking to my car. Though, she creeps me out sometimes and she seems to hate me, I had to hand it to her, she tried to help. "Um, thank you. For telling me, Ms. Darcy."
She smiled at me and nodded.
With that, I got in my car and headed off. As I drove, I thought of what I'd say again. Well, first, I need to find out her reason for why she does what she does. Then, I'll work from there. And, if I don't have any more kids after that, I need to go straight to the hair salon and change my hair back.
Once I got there, I headed to my office, putting my bottle of water on the table, turning my cell off and waiting.
Then there was a knock at the door and I straightened up, having been lying back in my chair, eyes closed and beginning to day dream about my dream from last night. "Come in."
The door opened and the girl from before, the friend, walked in first, but then opened the door all the way and grabbed the arm of a girl standing stiffly there, watching the floor. The friend had black hair in a braid and the girl had brown hair that seemed quickly brushed, not perfect. She tried to stay where she was standing, but her friend pulled her in and sat her down as she continued to glare downward. For a moment they just sat there, mostly quiet, other than the friend whispering to the girl.
Then the friend looked at me with a sorry look. "Um, I apologize…she's not totally happy about coming here…"
"It's fine, I can wait." I told her calmly and the girl looked up at me real quick, only to look back down.
"Please, Sara. Just talk to her…" I heard the friend, the black haired girl, whisper.
"Why?" she whispered back hoarsely. "So she can tell me that I shouldn't be doing this? That I'm stupid? That I'm killing myself?! I hear it enough from you and my parents!"
"Please, Sara, we just care about you!" The friend told her and she was near tears. "Please, this lady will help you. All you have to do is talk and listen."
The girl laughed and shook her head.
"Actually, she's wrong." I said and both of their heads snapped up.
"What do you mean?" the girl asked, her head still down, but she was half looking up at me, curious.
"All you have to do is listen. I'll ask you questions and you can mostly just nod your head for yes, or shake your head for no. If you feel the need to talk, you can. That's totally fine, but I'm not going to make you talk if you don't want to. Trust me, I know how this feels."
She laughed again and I thought of myself in the dream. It was the same, humorless, pissed off and don't care, kind of laugh. "Yeah, ok. You've gotta be some spoiled brat who got everything she wanted and thought she'd brag about how great and better she is to all the messed up, poor kids who come to her for guidance. You have no idea how this feels." Now, she was glaring at me.
I laughed and said, "Really? You believe that?" I sounded totally calm.
She leaned back in her chair, still glaring, and crossed her arms, waiting.
I started with the thing I thought may be main reason. "You feel totally alone."
She fidgeted in her chair, acting like she was trying to find a comfortable position to sit in, but I know that had hit a bit of a nerve.
"You feel…well, obviously, you feel like no one could possibly understand you. For some reason, you feel like this is the only way to happiness or the only way out or…like a safe haven. There's some personal reason, something happening in your life that makes you so mad, or sad and you started doing whatever you did (whether it be drinking or drugs) to escape it because you just couldn't take it anymore. For you, it's so…calm, free and safe when you're 'doing'. You feel like you're in a world where nothing matters and everything's ok and you can do anything. But, when you're not 'doing', everything turns back to black and white. Anything and everything matters. Everyone around you is either angry, sorry, scared, or disgusted because of what you're doing and you hate that. So you do it more. And throughout the time you've done all these things just for escape, you've began to lose yourself… And now you feel, if you stop doing it, you'll be nothing. You'll have nothing, but you also are starting to realize you're becoming nothing because of what you do. And now, you're lost and angry and depressed and scared and you just can't stop. That's why you have a flask of something hidden in that jacket of yours." And I felt satisfied, in a way, when she went still. Her arms were no longer just crossed across her chest; she was holding herself. Her glare had faded slightly, now a sad, depressed grimace and I could see she was holding tears back hard.
Her friend just kept watching her, tears already overflowing. All she was, was worried and scared for her best friend. She seemed to be one of those kids who would say it was wrong and try and get their friends to stop, but only because they care, not because they're ashamed. All she wanted was her friend safe and better and she'd do anything for her.
"So, you still think I'm a successful, spoiled brat who got everything when she was young and wants to brag to you and would never understand you? Or would you like to answer a few questions in whatever way you'd like?" my voice still stayed gentle and calm. And, as I saw how the look on this girl, Sara's, face changed, I felt happy. She didn't look all too happy yet, but she seemed like some of her walls were being lowered and she was ready to let someone in.
What sucks about this girl, is that she brings HIM back to my mind. She's like me. I can see myself in her. And I'm HIM. I almost wanted to laugh. He's the reason I have this job! Not in a financial way, but, in a choice way. He helped me and showed me a better life and now I know I want to do the same for others.
"Are you ready?" I asked.
She watched me for a moment, not sure if she was. But, with a comforting rub on the arm from her friend and a deep breath in, she nodded.
"Ok then." I smiled at her and I saw the tiniest of smiles back.
Well, I wasn't able to do everything for her today, but at least I got her to see she still had a chance and always will. She said she might come back tomorrow and I knew she would, because she smiled that small smile when she said it. She wouldn't smile if she wasn't coming back.
As I said good-bye to her and her friend and gave them my number, I felt pretty happy with myself for guessing one thing.
The flask in her jacket.
I didn't actually know if it was in there or not, I just knew she shouldn't be wearing a bit of a thick jacket like that at this time, its summer. She had slipped it to me while her friend got some waters before they left…she didn't want her friend to see it…she knew that her friend was her only real friend and she's the only person she feels she's disappointed and is guilty for.
She says her parents and her brother do not care much for her, they're just angry. But, by how she described them, I couldn't believe her. I didn't say anything about disagreeing with her, I knew that'd anger her. But, I told her that, they may not talk much to her or do anything with her right now, but she shouldn't stop hoping for a change.
I was getting in my car now, waving.
They were just about to leave, but Sara's friend (Tonya's her name) came up to the side of my car as Sara went ahead.
"Yeah?" I said as she stopped by me.
She was quiet and watching me. She had been that way before she had come up to me and asked for help. The look on her face, before, had been one of confusion and like she was lost and in need of help. Now, it was one of great gratitude and I could almost see it radiating from her.
"I…just wanted to say……" she swallowed hard and I saw just one tear roll down her cheek. "Thank you…so much. You have no idea what this means to me, to know my friend will be safe again soon."
"Trust me…" I said and had a quick flash back of the boy in my dream being beaten by other boys and then me jumping at them, getting in their way or jumping on top of them to stop them. "I know…And you're very welcome."
She smiled and nodded and then hurried off after Sara.
I shut the door to my car, smiled for a moment, feeling good. Then I started my car and headed to town.
Now that my mind was away from work, it had strayed back to what I had watched last night and I remembered I needed to dye my hair back. So, I went straight to the store and bought what I thought was close enough to my natural hair color and headed to a register, only to bump into someone with my clumsy self.
I sighed, having fallen on my butt and a knocked mine stuff and this persons. I moved onto my knees and started picking things up, saying, "Sorry about that. I just don't watch where I'm going sometimes." I looked up at the guy and froze for only a moment, shocked by the look of the man. Then I began breathing again, swallowed and stood, handing him his stuff with a nervous laugh.
"It's fine." He grunted and then just started at me, freaking me out and keeping me in his gaze, frozen again. This guy was big, rounded. He wore jeans, boots, a white t-shirt and an open vest that said, 'Jack's Handy-work' and then a name-tag that said Jack. He had tattoo's all over his arms and a bit on his head. Couldn't tell and didn't want to be able to tell if he had any on his chest. He…just kept staring at me.
Feeling a chill run down my spine, I swallowed, smiled my best fake smile, and walked to the register as calmly as I could. As the guy at the counter ringed up my item, I was looking at one of those round mirror things they have in stores sometimes and saw the guy, still in the same place and staring. After I bought my stuff and looked back up, I saw he was gone and walked calmly, again, out of the store and to my car, rolling up windows, no matter how hot it was.
Once I was safe in my car, I started it and began driving, trying not to go too far, but sure as hell not going safe and slow.
Could…could that have been the killer?! I wasn't sure if it was, but I'm not stupid enough to shake that off and say to myself, "No way, that can't be him!" There's a reason I shivered in that guys presence, and it wasn't because any coldness.
I took long and complicated roads to my house, and stopping at one place, my car hiding behind the building. I had waited there for a few minutes, my car off and me listening as I heard what sounded like a truck pulling in on the other of the gas station building. I had quietly got out of my car and sneakily looked around the building and into the truck. No one was in there or out around it, so u hurried back to my car and started it, driving out slowly until I was far enough away from the gas station, then hurried off, not looking back.
Once I was home, I parked my car in the garage this time, shut and locked the door and then turned on my burglar alarm. I've never turned it on. Yeah, I bought it, but I've never turned it on, used it, because I've never heard of anything as bad as a killer being around here.
After sitting down and taking deep breaths to calm myself, I stood and looked for that number. I know it may be kind of stupid to call if I'm not totally sure if it's him, but…he just didn't feel right…so, I found the paper with the number and got my cell and called. I stood there, my foot tapping as it beeped and beeped. And then my stomach froze as a familiar, yet older sounding, boyish voice said, "Uh, hi, this is, um, Spencer Reid. I either can't come to the phone, I have missed your call, my phone is dead or I can't answer at the moment. So, um, well, leave a message after the beep!" and then there was a beep.
But I didn't say anything, I hung up the phone fast…No way. After I regained my breath, I called again and left a stuttered message saying that I think I may have run into the killer, but I'm not sure. I headed to my room, since my phone was on one bar, about to die, and plugged it up. I sat down on the bed thinking, no way….
I shook my head, feeling stupid for being so surprised and then hanging up…I sighed and headed out to go bath before bed. I took my time, the shower calming me. Once I was out and dry, I went and made me a quick lunch/dinner. And why was I going to sleep, earlier then usual?
For once, I really wanted to visit my dreams. I'm happy about it when I'm asleep, but when I'm awake, I'm too busy wishing and I don't feel like wishing right now, I feel like escaping to place where I can see him again.
So, I finished eating and went off to bed, turning on my music and getting ready for bed and then climbing in. I curled into a ball, closing my eyes and clearing my mind. A minute later and I fall under.
"H-hey!" I called out, walking down the side walk. It was that boy, the Reid boy who lived beside me.
He turned, curious and surprised-looking. "Yeah?"
I waited until I was right next to him, I didn't want anyone to hear me. I took a breath, my glare back again. "…Did…did you…tell..anyone…what you picked up?"
The curious look on his face faded and a impish, uncomfortable smile appeared. "No."
"Are you telling the truth? Because if you told anyone-"
"I didn't tell anyone." He told me simply. He straightened the glasses he was wearing and said, "It's…not really my business to talk about."
I took a breath and then nodded. I looked away when I said, "Thanks."
"No problem." He said simply with a smile and I almost wanted to smile back, but then I remembered this guy knows what I do. I hold grudges sometimes… "So, do go to school around here? I've never seen you around."
"Um, no…I, uh…" he cleared his throat, seeming to blush slightly. "I…graduated…when I was twelve…"
"You're kidding." I said. No way this guy had graduated at twelve!
"Nope."
"Well, you must be some kind of genius then." I said with a laugh. I mean, graduating at twelve? No way.
"I wouldn't say I was a genius, but I do have an eidetic memory, I can read 20,000 words per minute and I have a IQ of 187." He said and then became uncomfortable as I stared at him.
"And that doesn't count as being a genius?" I laughed.
He shrugged, rocking on the balls of his feet.
It was quiet for a moment, so I decided it was time to go if…well, if I was going to sneak a drink at the right time. "Well, I gotta go, so see ya, Spock." I sat, giving him a pat on the arm and then walked away, laughing at the look on his face.