Give me reason to fill this hole, connect the space between
Let it be enough to reach the truth that lies across this new divide

Dean drank the beer and wished there was something stronger in the house. There was wine but like hell was he going to drink that. Even if the house was empty he wouldn't drink it. He leaned back in the chair and looked around the house. He hated the quiet that filled it now that Sam and Kat were gone. He frowned and wondered why his brother had left with Kat. Sam had just walked past him not saying anything and walked out the door after Kat. Dean could still hear her crying; it echoed in his ears as he took another long sip of the beer. He had screwed up majorly but he couldn't take it back. It was how he felt and he didn't want to lie to Kat. He moaned when the phone rang. He got up and went over to answer it. He grabbed it and wanted more than anything to just hang up on the person. He sighed and brought it to his ear.

"Hello," he said.

"Jen, its Jason. I just talked to Danneel and... She told me some screwy things, man. I think she was high or something," the guy on the other side said.

"What did she say?" Dean asked trying to remember who the hell Jason was. He was coming up empty and wondered if Kat had mentioned a Jason at all. Then it hit him. He remembered now. Jason had called about a week ago and Kat had talked to him. He had stood and listened to Kat's side of the conversation and felt out of place. Kat was talking about Jason's singing and how she wished they could pull Jensen on stage more often to sing a song or two and then Kat's laughter. He had felt jealous of Jensen and Jason. He would be going back to his world where he was going to die and they would have Kat here with them; not that they knew how lucky they were.

"She said that you two broke up and that she caught you checking out our Kitty Kat's ass," Jason said.

Dean grinded his teeth. Their Kitty Kat. Oh yeah, if he ever met this Jason guy someone was getting his face bashed in, "So, what if it was?"

"Wait... You actually checked out Kat's ass?"

"Yeah, what of it?"

"Dude, I have been telling you for THREE YEARS to hook up with Kat. That Katerina McCrae is perfect. You have ignored me and told me to buzz off. What changed you mind?"

Dean sat down shocked. He couldn't wrap his head around that one. Jensen's friend had told him how great Kat was and he still dated Danneel. Dean shook his head. Guy has got rocks for brains, he thought.

"Well, I guess you could say I became a new man."

"Great. And about freakin time too."

"Thanks, I can just feel the love right now."

"Come on, man. You know I got nothing against Danneel but... She isn't Kat. Kat knows every dirty secret about you and still likes you. That right there is the girl you marry."

Dean sighed and thought about a future he was never going to get; a wedding to Kat. He ran a hand over his face, "Yeah, you got a point," he said his voice barely a whisper.

***

Kat sat on her couch looking at Sam. She had just finished explaining to him the spell to send them back. She would need a couple of things and could perform it in a couple of days. Sam read it over again then looked at her. She could tell by the look on his face that he didn't like it.

"Sam, it's the only way. I'm the only one who can do it. My mom.... Her powers are binded and this spell is powerful. She couldn't do it, which she wouldn't anyway," Kat explained.

"I don't like it, Katerina. You have never used your powers before and this spell... There is something about it I don't like," Sam said closing the book.

"We don't have a choice, Sam. You want to get home, right?"

"Yeah."

"Then this is the only way. The least I can do is send you two back."

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be. This wasn't your doing."

"No, I'm sorry that this is going to hurt you. I know you want Dean-."

"I am use to wanting what I can't have, Sam. I can handle it."

Sam watched as Kat got up and walked into the kitchen. He looked down at the book and doubted that very much. He didn't think she could handle it; not really. He had listened to her explain her powers to him and what exactly a natural witch was and he had heard the pain in her voice. Kat was hurt that her father had hid what she was from her and that even her mother hadn't told her. She didn't feel normal anymore; she felt like she was a freak. It was something he could relate to. He still felt like a freak with demon blood running though his veins and he knew that he could never tell Dean; especially not now. Dean would never understand and right now they had more important things to worry about then Sam's self image. He looked up and took the mug of coffee Kat handed him. He sat beside her on the couch and placed the book on the coffee table.

"We have to tell him, Kat. He needs to know," Sam said sipping the coffee.

"No. I won't have him looking at me like I'm a freak. We can get the stuff today and... I just want one more night with him, Sam. I want one more night where he won't look at me like I'm a monster. Can't I have that?" Kat asked closing her eyes and letting tears fall.

"I guess I can give you that. Dean deserves it too. Kat, no matter what happens I... I want to thank you."

"For what? Screwing up your life for the past month?"

"No, for being my friend."

Kat couldn't hold back the tears then. She let Sam hug her as she cried. She held him tight and sobbed into his chest. She didn't want to do this. She didn't want to send them back. She loved Jensen and Jared, she really did they were her friends, but she knew that by sending Sam and Dean back, Dean would die and Sam was going to lose his brother. She didn't want that for them. She closed her eyes and wished there was another way.

***

Jensen stepped out of the shower and grabbed a towel. He dried himself off and grabbed the pair of jeans from the floor. He pulled them on and wondered how pissed Dean would be if he knew Jensen was wearing his clothes. Or how pissed he would be when he got back and discovered that Jensen had tossed out all the condoms and bras Dean had been carrying around in his bag and the impala. Jensen smiled a little and walked over to the mirror. He grabbed a towel and wiped away the fog that had formed on it from the steam.

He looked at himself in the mirror. All he could think about was how Dean and him were twins. Everything about them was the same when it came to their looks. Jensen wondered again if anyone had been able to tell that it wasn't him back home but Dean. He looked down and thought about Danneel. He loved her, he really did but the sharpest tool in the shed she wasn't. He doubted very much she would have been the one to say that something was up. He knew she wouldn't have noticed that Dean wasn't him. Jensen thought about why he and Danneel were even together and he suddenly couldn't come up with an answer. They had been friends for years and then he had just asked her out one day thinking nothing would come of it. A year later they were still dating, Danneel telling everyone who would listen that they were a steady couple and Jensen still really didn't know why he was still with her.

"Dude, hurry up in there, will you? I want a shower too! It isn't pleasant smelling like rotting flesh you know!" Jared yelled banging on the door interrupting Jensen's thoughts.

"Hold on to your pants, Jared! I am almost done!" Jensen yelled back shaking his head.

Jensen grabbed the t-shirt from the counter and pulled it on. He grabbed the towel and dried his hair a bit more thinking about Kat. He had liked her since the first day of shooting when she had been running on set and tripped and fell and landed right in his lap. Her grey eyes had looked up at him and she had started apologizing over and over again. Jared had been laughing and so had he as he helped her back to her feet. He had called her Kitty Kat that day and the name had stuck. Every one of his friends that had met her had told him to go for it, to ask her out. He ran a hand though his damp hair and wondered why he hadn't. She was a sweet girl. He stood there and really started to think about it. Why was he with Danneel and not Kat?

"Jeeennnssseeennn!" Jared whined from the outside.

Jensen pulled open the door and saw Jared leaning against the wall beside the door. Jared sighed in relief and walked into the bathroom without a word to Jensen. Jensen walked over to one of the two motel beds and sat on it. He looked around the room trying to think of anything else but Kat. He really didn't think now was the time to rethink his relationship with Danneel. He had plenty of time for that when he got back; if he got back. He laid back on the bed and placed his arms under his head. He looked at the ceiling with the water stains and started to think about Kat again. The way she smiled at him, how he could talk about serious things with her and she was never scared to disagree with him, he remembered the countless times they had gotten into debates about certain subjects. He loved those debates and knew they would never happen with Danneel. He had tried to but Danneel would just agree with him or ignore him and talk about something else. He closed his eyes and shook his head. Being here was fucking with his mind.

***

Kat walked into the house and wished Sam would have let her go with him to get the things for the spell. She didn't want to confront Dean. She closed the door and dropped her bag on the floor. She pulled off her jacket. She turned and stopped. Dean was leaning in the entry way to the living room watching her. She raked a hand though her hair and waited for him to say something.

"Jason called," he said looking at her and wanting to hold her in his arms.

"What did he say?" she asked looking at the floor.

"Basically that Jensen should have been with you all along. Really starting to think that guy has rocks for brains."

"Not all of us can be as smart as you, Dean."

Dean watched as Kat walked into the kitchen. He followed her wishing this wasn't awkward. He watched as she opened the fridge and took out a bottle of wine. She opened it and got herself a glass. He watched as she poured herself a large glassful and drank about half then refilled the glass. Dean ran hand over his face and walked over to her. He placed his hand over hers and held it tight.

"I didn't mean it," he tried. He didn't want things to be awkward between them.

"Yeah, you did but it's okay because you were right."

"Kitten-."

"No, you were. If it would have been Jensen here I would have let him comfort me. But only because he knows everything about me; not because I love him. I thought I did but... I realize I don't. I don't want him to be the one holding me anymore. I want that person to be you, Dean. I didn't think it was possible but.... I think in the span of almost two months, I fell in love with you."

Kat drank more wine as she waited for Dean to say something. She felt tears coming to her eyes. She told Sam she only wanted one more night with Dean but that was a lie; she wanted a lifetime with him. She felt his arms come around her and turned to face him. She kissed him when he kissed her tenderly on the lips. She left the glass of wine on the counter and wrapped her arms around his neck and held him close to her. She pulled away and looked into his green eyes. She saw the questions in them but she didn't want to answer his questions; didn't have time to answer them. They would only have tonight together and she wasn't going to waste it talking.

"You don't love me," he whispered to her knowing that that was a lie. He could see the love in her eyes as she looked at him. He didn't want her to love him because he knew that she would be hurting when he left. He didn't want to hurt her but he knew that this was something that wasn't in his power to control anymore.

"I do love you. And I know that I am going to have to let you go but... I really don't want to. I want to keep you here with me. I want to be with you forever," Kat cried.

"Shhh, Kitten. I'm not worth your tears or your love."

"Yes, you are and... I don't want you to go back there and die and I don't want to let you go. I am sick of being the strong one, the smart understanding one, I want you and I want to be selfish about it, dammit!"

Dean held Kat close to him as she cried. He picked her up in his arms and carried her to the bedroom not wanting Sam to come in and see her like this. He felt the death grip she had on him and knew that she wasn't lying to him. She loved him and she didn't want to let him go. He carried her into the room and shut the door behind them. He carried her over to the bed and sat on it with her in his arms. She buried her face in his chest and sobbed into his shirt. Dean stroked her hair and tried to comfort her the best he knew how.

"Katerina, baby, I know you don't want me to go back but... If we don't find a way to go back, then Jensen is going to go to Hell in my place. I don't want that. I made the deal, I am the one who should pay the price," he told her softly kissing her on the head.

"But I don't want to lose you," Kat whispered looking at him, her tears slowing down.

"Do you think I want to leave you here? Never. I would give anything not to have to leave you behind."

"Then I'll come with you."

"No. Kitten, it's... It's too dangerous there. And... I don't want you to see me die."

Kat nodded. She knew that that would be his response. She kissed him hard not wanting to waste anymore of the time they had together. She ran her hand up his shirt to run her fingers over his bare skin. She pulled away and pulled her shirt over her head and grabbed Dean's and did the same to his. She felt his hands run over her bare skin and loved his touch. She kissed him again as he rolled her on her back on the bed their bare chests pressing together.

Dean pulled away from the kiss and looked at the woman lying beneath him. She was beautiful to him in every way and he swore never to forget any detail about her. The way she smiled at him, the way her body curved against his allowing his body to rest tight against hers. He kissed her again and ran his hand down her side to her jeans. He undid them and stopped. He looked up and met her eyes again.

"Dean?" she asked her grey eyes looking into his making him wish he could stay with her and that he never had to go back.

"I love you, Katerina. I want you to remember that. I love you," he told her kissing her again.

Kat kissed Dean and felt his tears fall against her cheeks and mingle with hers. She raked her hand though his hair as she felt his hands pull down her jeans. She ran her hands down his chest and undid his jeans telling herself to remember every single moment from tonight. She let go of Dean when he got up and yanked her jeans and panties down her legs and off. She watched as he pulled off his own jeans. She looked at his body trying to imprint every muscle and curve in her mind. She smiled at him when he crawled back on the bed his body on top of hers. She loved the feel of his weight over her and the feel of his hands as they stroked her skin.

Dean kissed Kat's shoulder and bit down gently. He felt her press her body against his as she arched her back. He sucked on the skin around the bite wanting to leave his mark on Kat. He wanted her to look in the mirror and think of him whenever she looked at the mark and know that she was his. He ran his hand between her thighs and slipped two fingers inside of her as he bit down hard again on her shoulder. He heard her moan as he stroked her and felt her hold on to him tight. He removed his fingers and slid inside of her feeling her stretch to fit him perfectly. He pulled away so he could look into her eyes. He stroked her cheek softly and looked deep in her eyes.

"Never forget you were mine before you were anyone else's," he told her kissing her hard before she could respond.

Kat felt Dean pull out and slid back inside of her. She held him close to her and kissed him back wishing again that things could be different. She felt Dean move faster and moaned his name softly. She pulled away from his kiss and raked a hand though his hair as she kissed his neck. She bit him softly when she felt his thumb rubbing her clit. He knew all the ways to bring her to the edge and back again. She dug her nails into his back when she felt her body beginning to tense up. She arched her back when she felt Dean slid into her one last time and release inside of her.

Dean felt Kat's body tense up and then she screamed his name as she came. He kissed her softly and held her body close to him pulling out of her. He rolled them on their sides and pulled away to look into her eyes. He smiled when she cuddled close to him resting her head on his shoulder. He grabbed a blanket and covered their bodies with it not letting her go.

"I love you," he heard her whisper.

"I love you too, Katerina. Now, go to sleep," Dean told her holding her close to him.

"I'm sorry."

"Sorry about what?"

Kat shook her head and let tears fall. She buried her face in Dean's shoulder and closed her eyes. She was sorry for what he was going to find out tomorrow. She knew he would never look at her the same way again. She felt his hands running down her back and prayed that one day she would have his forgiveness for lying to him. Right at the moment though, she didn't want his forgiveness, just his love.