Chapter 2: Do you hear that?

Mid July 2002

"So what's the deal here?" Evan asked, holding the medical centre door open for his sister and then following her inside.

"I don't exactly know," Elaine admitted. When Evan looked surprised she said a little defensively "It's not like I've ever had an ultrasound before and it's not the kind of thing you can research on Google. I know the mechanics of it but the process is still a little mysterious."

"Well tell me the mechanics then," Evan persisted, standing beside her as she signed in at the front desk and was told to take a seat to wait for her turn.

"Okay," Elaine smiled, sitting down and shifting slightly to watch him as she explained. "This is the one scan most women have – they check lots of thing ... the heart and lungs, organs, limbs. They take measurements of all the important bones too. They can actually monitor blood flow Evan ... from me to the baby and then within the baby too. It's amazing."

"Yeah it is," Evan agreed softly. "What else?"

"If I want, we can find out the sex of the baby," Elaine offered, smiling slightly. "I emailed Drew a few weeks back to ask him if he wanted to know ... he said I could decide for both of us at the time."

"That's generous of him," Evan muttered. "No pressure for you then!"

"No, it was nice," Elaine insisted. "It's like a gift to me because he isn't here so we can't do that spur of the moment thing depending on how everything goes. Drew wanted me to have that anyway – that if I really feel like the time is right to find out, well then I don't have to worry that he'll be disappointed."

"Well I guess it's a surprise whenever you find out," Evan conceded. "Do you know what you're going to do yet?"

"I was thinking maybe I'd find out," Elaine said uncertainly. "It's such a big milestone, getting past 18 weeks, mainly because you can't find out the gender before that – the parts don't develop before then," she added before he could ask why. "God, I can't believe I'm almost half way there already!"

"Yeah, I can't either," Evan looked at her pointedly. "You don't exactly look like a four and half month pregnant woman Elaine."

"And of course you're an expert on what one of those should look like," Elaine shot back, laughing when he winced. "I know I'm not showing that much but I can't wear any of my old skirts or pants anymore." She put a hand on her slightly rounded stomach. "Junior is definitely making his or her presence known."

"His," Evan insisted with a smile.

"Mrs Rider?"

They both looked up to see one of the ultrasound technician's waiting for their attention.

"You can come through now," the technician said.

"Okay, here we go," Elaine said nervously, grabbing Evan's hand and dragging him along with her. She knew it was probably silly feeling nervous but at the back of her mind was the worry that things wouldn't go well, that they'd find something wrong. Until she saw the image of her baby with her own eyes she couldn't relax and enjoy the experience.

"It'll be fine," Evan said in a low tone, squeezing her hand and then letting go when they stopped outside one of the small scanning rooms.

Inside it was dimly lit, the space dominated by the bed and the equipment sitting ready next to it. Evan looked around quickly for somewhere out of the way he could sit, going for inconspicuous.

"Mrs Rider," the technician began. "I'm Sally Banks, I'll be operating the equipment this morning. Hop up on the bed here and we'll get started."

"Elaine please," Elaine invited, sitting uncertainly on the edge of the hospital bed. "This is my brother Evan ... my husband is stationed overseas at the moment."

"I'm just here for moral support," Evan got in quickly.

"Well, take a seat here anyway Evan," Sally nodded to the chair right beside the bed as she urged Elaine to lie down and then matter-of-factly raised the shirt Elaine was wearing to reveal her pregnant tummy. "I'm sure being the future Uncle you'll want to be right up where the action is."

"Not especially," Evan muttered under his breath, quickly looking away from his sisters exposed stomach and earning a narrow eyed glance from her. "Of course I do," he regrouped, speaking firmly. "I'm looking forward to seeing my nephew firsthand."

"Or niece," habit had Elaine adding.

"That's one of the questions I usually ask before we get started," Sally paused in tucking a towel into and over Elaine's trousers to look at her. "Are we finding out the sex of the baby today?"

"Um ... I don't know," Elaine admitted. "I was going to say yes but ... can I decide when we get there?"

"Of course." Holding up a tube of clear liquid Sally explained what she was doing as she worked. "This is a gel we put over your lower stomach to help transmit the ultrasound waves where we need them and give us nice clear pictures back - I'm going to be using a fair bit but don't worry, it's been warmed."

Elaine startled slightly as she felt the liquid squirting onto her stomach, her heart racing just a little. The screen where the images would be received was turned away from the bed initially and she didn't know where to direct her gaze.

"Okay, let's have a look at baby then shall we," Sally murmured, moving the tool through the gel and then across Elaine's stomach.

Evan couldn't see the screen either – he guessed that was deliberate so the technician could take a look at things without giving anything away – trouble was, he didn't know where to look either. Not that he wasn't comfortable with his sister but he was hardly accustomed to seeing her bare stomach protruding like it currently was. To be honest the complete alien-ness of the entire experience was freaking him out a little.

"Is everything okay?" Elaine couldn't help but ask as Sally worked quietly, manoeuvring the scanner, looking closely at the screen and then typing something.

"Everything looks just fine Elaine," Sally reassured her. "Just bear with me while I take a few more measurements and then I'll show you what I can see."

Nodding, Elaine closed her eyes, thinking about Drew and wondering what he was doing right at that moment. "Evan, what time is it in Kandahar?" she asked.

"After 2300 hours," Evan returned after glancing at his watch. "It's about a 12 hour difference ... he'd be sleeping unless he's on call."

"Your husband's in the military?" Sally asked curiously.

"Yes," Elaine said proudly. "He's over in Afghanistan at the moment."

"It's a shame he wasn't here to see this," Sally said gently, turning her screen so Elaine could see the image displayed there.

"Oh ... it looks just like a baby," Elaine was hardly aware of what she said, all her focus on the grey, grainy but completely recognisable image of a baby, curled up and sleeping.

"Ah, that's because it is a baby Sis," Evan was also captivated by the image. His sister's unborn child – his nephew ... or niece. A living, breathing, person who appeared to be ... "is it sucking its thumb?" Evan asked in wonder.

"Looks like it," Sally smiled. "We get that a lot around here – mostly from the foetuses." Putting a hand on Elaine's forearm she squeezed lightly. "Let's get you a photo you can take away. I'll give you a couple of extra copies so you can send them to your husband."

"Thank you," Elaine got a little wobbly around the edges then – Evan was surprised she hadn't' gotten teary eyed the instance she'd seen the ultrasound image.

"Here," he handed her a tissue from the box close by, watching as she wiped away tears and gave him a watery smile.

"What do you think?" she asked, eyes back on the baby.

"I think it's amazing," Evan said sincerely. "I mean, it's a little person already. And that profile – it looks just like you Sis."

"I'll have to give my report to the attending Doctor," Sally said, finished doing what was required to get the photos happening, "but my assessment is that the baby looks healthy and is developing well. Let me show you a few things."

She manipulated the scanning device and then angled the screen even closer. "This is the baby's heart – see the four chambers?"

Elaine nodded, her expression captivated as she listened closely.

"Shall we ...," Sally trailed off, leaning down to twist one of the dials on her equipment.

Sound filled the room, an echoing "woh, woh, woh, woh," that was rapid and rhythmic.

"Is that ...?" Elaine asked, hopeful and awed.

"Your baby's heart beat?" Sally asked. "Yes it is."

"Is it supposed to be that fast?" Evan spoke before he thought about how Elaine might take the question.

"Yes it is," Sally smiled. "It's in the perfectly normal range. A baby's heart beats faster than a fully grown adult ... about 140 beats in your baby's case."

"Evan, do you hear that?" Elaine grabbed his hand and held on really tight, her eyes brimming with happy tears.

"I hear it," Evan was hard pressed to keep his own voice steady. It was just ... incredible. They were actually listening to the heart beat of a person who hadn't even been born yet ... and not just any person, Elaine and Drew's child. It staggered him ... humbled him ... and awed him, all at the same time. "Hang on," he said when Sally moved to switch off the sound again. Taking out his phone he used it to record a few seconds of soundtrack before switching it off again. "You can send it to Drew," he said when Elaine looked at him quizzically.

"Thank you," she sniffed again, wiping a hand under her eyes. "I seem to be doing that a lot lately – thanking you."

"It's okay," Evan replied. "Besides, I've opened a tab."

"Oh you have not!" she smacked his arm in exasperation.

"Maybe not – but I will if you keep thanking me for stuff I'm happy to do," Evan said more seriously. "Stuff I should be thanking you for letting me be a part of."

Elaine sniffed, squeezing his hand, nodding. "What else?" she turned back to the technician, eager to see more of her baby. Sally seemed happy to oblige, pointing out all the major organs – they looked like black shapes inside the grey graininess to Evan but he didn't point that out – the placenta and the cord, showing that blood flow Elaine had already spoken off. And limbs - legs and arms and the spine - all there to be seen.

Apart from actually hearing the baby's heart beat, Evan's favourite part was when Sally highlighted the baby's hands and feet, again because they looked exactly like well ... hands and feet! Evan wasn't sure what he'd expected to see – maybe something not quite as 'human' looking, not quite as fully formed – but he was glad he hadn't mentioned his expectations because Elaine wouldn't have let him forget it.

"Have you decided on finding out the sex?" Sally asked at one point.

"Do you know what it is?" Elaine stalled, suddenly not sure at all what she should do. God, she wished Drew was there!

"Yes," Sally said simply. "Although we never say with one hundred percent certainty, it's been a long time since I've heard of a technician getting it wrong."

"I think I'll hold off for now," Elaine decided after thinking for a few moments. "I just ... I want something left for us both to discover when my husband gets home ... together."

"Understandable," Sally smiled. "Lots of first time parents enjoy the surprise of finding out when the baby is born." She showed Elaine a few more things and then sat back. "Just let me go and get those photos for you, and get the Doctor's sign off," Sally concluded, switching off the machine. "You're free to tidy up and wait in the waiting room."

Elaine watched her go before turning to look at her brother. "Do you think Drew will be disappointed?"

"With what?" Evan frowned uncertainly. "I'd say he'll be disappointed he wasn't here, but everything else will be welcome news." He grinned as he held the door open for her, following her out into the waiting room. "I on the other hand am disappointed you didn't find out what you're having. You know that means you're in for another few months of me calling it my nephew right?"

"I saw your face Evan," Elaine said loftily. "This baby already has you wrapped around its tiny little fingers, regardless of its sex."

"Maybe," Evan allowed, a smile playing over his face.

Sally returned to the waiting room, giving Elaine the all clear, and an envelope containing the precious photos. They were both quiet as they got back in the car to drive home ... Evan glanced over at her as she drove, noting the way her eyes strayed wistfully to that envelope.

"Three weeks Sis," he said softly. "He'll be back in three weeks."

"The three longest weeks ever," Elaine replied, but she was smiling as she focussed back on the road.

Back home that night, after Elaine and his Mom had both gone to bed, Evan sat up, still wide awake. It had been one of those days he knew would stand out in his mind for years to come. Elaine had already scanned in those photos and sent them along with the audio to Drew with a long email ... and regaled their Mom with a blow by blow account of the scan. So those Evan usually confided in were already in the know ... but still, the knowledge was bubbling away at the back of his mind and he felt the need to express it somehow. It was times like these, even years later, when he missed John the most. Drew and Evan had always been best friends but that was different than his friendship with the oldest member of their training group. Somehow John had always known exactly what to say, sometimes before Evan even understood what was troubling him.

He was sure John would have words of wisdom to offer now too ... something about trusting that Elaine, Drew and the baby would be okay, that Drew would come back in time to welcome his child into the world.

Then he'd point out that Evan's own future was also enhanced by the expansion of his family into the next generation.

Not that he thought otherwise ... but there was a part of him that couldn't help but worry about 'the tone' of the world right now, that couldn't help but think maybe it wouldn't improve anytime soon. When it came down to it maybe he just didn't like thinking about his nephew growing up in that world. It wasn't something he'd talk to Elaine or his Mom about, and under the circumstances not something he could talk to Drew about either.

But there was someone he could kind of talk to ... jumping up purposefully Evan went to start his computer.

From: Grace Lorne (Grace _ Lorne at aol . com)

Sent: Thursday, 12th June 2002 01:35:11 AM

To: Captain Piper Jones (pjones at aefw389 . af . mil)

Subject: News

Hey Piper

Excuse the email address – I'm still on medical leave so I'm using my Mom's machine. They're forwarding my emails here so I did get all of yours – and yeah, I should have made time to reply before now. Thanks for keeping me up to date on what's going on with the 389 – sounds like you're doing great as wing leader ... just like I knew you would.

Not sure if Drew had a chance to tell you – if not then go congratulate the new expectant Dad. Yeah, my sister is pregnant and sometime in early December I'm gonna be an Uncle. I went with her for her first scan today ... and now I'm sitting here way too late in the night, thinking about it. It was amazing Piper – the fact that I got to be there and just the reality of the latest change in my family. I don't know why I'm not totally consumed with the excitement and happiness that's cushioning even the absence of Drew for my sister right now. Don't get me wrong, I'm happy for Elaine ... and for myself. I want to be an uncle ... I don't really understand why that's not enough. It's not about me – it's about them, so maybe it just comes down to worrying about that. I'm not used to my sister being vulnerable like this ... nor to Drew being under threat, certainly not when I'm sitting back home safe and sound.

God, listen to me – I sound like I think the world revolves around me! It doesn't and worrying about things I can't change isn't my usual thing. And even though you're not right in front of me telling me to get a grip and stop being ridiculous, the fact that I'm imagining exactly what tone of voice you'd use is enough to bring back a little perspective. And please don't tell Drew how self indulgent I've become over here - I can do without more stuff I'll never live down!

Be careful over there ... there's still a chance I'll be back at some stage.

Evan

PS Your rumour from the day before I left turned out to be true ... I went into Travis AFB a few weeks ago and found out they're promoting me. Kind of feels unreal too – because I'm not stationed anywhere I guess ... although they've finally found me something do to – only light duty, at Travis. I'll let you know how that goes when I get to it.

From: Captain Piper Jones (pjones at aefw389 . af . mil)

Sent: Monday, 15th June 2002 13:10:10 PM

To: Grace Lorne (Grace _ Lorne at aol . com)

Subject: Re: News

Evan

Get a grip – and don't be ridiculous. The whole world doesn't revolve around you and you should focus on being there for your sister.

And yeah, I'm laughing right now.

Seriously, congratulations on your imminent status as an Uncle. I did speak to Drew after I got your message and congratulated him. He's fine Evan – disappointed to be missing out on these first months of his child's existence but pretty excited there's a child for him to be missing all this stuff with.

You can't protect him ... and you can't protect your sister. Not from the day to day things that could go wrong and not from the big picture stuff, like there being a war for us to be fighting over here. It's as simple and as complex as that. And now there'll be another person you feel compelled to take under your protective wing ... you just need to get used to having as little influence over their big picture as you do over everyone else's. You'll do what you can ... which will be a hell of a lot ... and there's nothing more anyone would expect. It's the way of the world and has been for too many generations to count. If we all waited until everyone was comfortable bringing a child into the world then there'd never be any babies.

That's the best I can do on words of wisdom – hope it helps. Keep recovering ... we need you over here.

Piper

PS I can't believe you waited this long to tell me you got promoted! You ass! I'll give you the benefit of the doubt since you're still on the injured list and say congratulations Major ... wow, Major Evan Lorne – looks good doesn't it?! I'm happy for you and proud of you – but it's nothing more than you deserve. Write soon, okay.

Authors Note:

This was a fun chapter to write - and kind of the entire reason why I wrote Campaign Kandahar and this story - all because of one line in Impressions (Kavan's SGA audio drama for anyone who hasn't heard of it). In there he comments on her husband being away a lot and of going with his sister for her scan and hearing the heart beat of a person who hasn't even been born yet and that it was amazing. That really inspired me, hence using the line almost word for word in the story.

Second reason for the fun aspect is for once I didn't have to spend hours researching! With three children of my own, two of them twins, I've had plenty of ultrasounds in my time and used my own personal experience for this chapter. The only thing I did do was to assume the entire process would be pretty much the same in the U.S. as it is in Australia. Can't see why it wouldn't be.