I remembered black skies, the lightning all around me
I remembered each flash as time began to blur
Katerina stared at the wall ahead of her. She heard the silence stretch on between Sam and Dean. Dean hadn't said anything at all about what Sam had told him. She closed her eyes and felt an ache develop in her chest. She turned when she heard Dean walk over to her. She yelped when he grabbed her roughly by the shoulders and yanked her to her feet. Sam was beside him in an instant pulling him away from her but not before Kat could see the anger in Dean's eyes. Tears fell from her cheeks unchecked; she was uncaring now when it came to hiding her feelings. Dean knew what she was and he hated her for it.
"A witch?!," he spat the word out letting Sam pulled him away from her, "You're a witch?!"
"I didn't know," she whispered crying.
"Didn't know?! How could you not know?!" Dean yelled.
"Dean, stop it! She's different from the witches back in our world! We can trust her!" Sam said stepping in between Dean and Kat.
"Sure, cause I am going to take your word for it when you have no problems trusting a demon."
"Please, stop fighting. I don't want you two to fight. Just... Let me do this and it'll get you home and you can... You can forget all about me," Kat said pushing herself away from the wall and walking over to the unfinished symbols.
Dean watched her as she finished drawing the symbols. He was angry but also hurt. He couldn't believe that Kat hadn't told him when she first found out. He knew she couldn't have done this spell; wouldn't have because she cared about Jensen and Jared so much. He hated that she had gone to Sam instead of him. Most of all though, he hated that this had happened to her. He was angry that something from his world had touched her. He pulled away when Sam grabbed his arm. He glared at his younger brother and wanted to hit Sam.
"How could you not tell me?" Dean demanded.
"I wanted to confront her first. Then I read the books and found out this isn't her fault. That coin hides her powers from her and everyone else. She didn't know until yesterday."
"And you're the first person she tells?"
Sam looked at his older brother and knew that Dean was hurt at what he took to be Kat choosing Sam over him. Sam looked at Kat and saw her hand shaking as she tried to light the candles. He turned back and looked at Dean. He saw Dean watching Kat as well. The look on his brother's face was sad and wishful. Dean turned and met his eyes.
"She told me because she didn't want you looking at her differently. Like you were a moment ago. This isn't her fault, Dean. Her family lied to her and... It doesn't make her a freak."
"I never said it did!"
"No, but you were implying it."
To Kat, Sam and Dean's conversation had become background noise. She had started to think about what she needed to do next to make this work. She wanted her friends back and maybe, just maybe she could go back to being normal. She shook her head when she realized that she wouldn't ever be normal again and that Jensen and Jared would know it. This wasn't her world anymore, she didn't belong here. She stood up and looked at the symbols surrounded by the candles. She looked at her bracelet and carefully unwinded the black strings. She finally took it off and placed it in her pocket. She didn't feel any different yet. She looked down at the book and opened it. She looked at what she had to do next. She heard Sam and Dean walk over to her. She looked up and looked at Sam ignoring Dean. She couldn't handle seeing the anger in his eyes. She closed the book and held out her hand. Sam hesitated.
"Sam, I need to do this. I am not going to screw this up," Kat said wishing she couldn't feel Dean's eyes boring right down into her soul.
"Do what? Sammy, what does she need to do?" Dean asked.
"She needs to give an offering."
"Of what?"
"My blood. Now give me the damn knife, Sam."
"Like hell, he is going to give you the knife. You aren't going to hurt yourself just to do this," Dean said grabbing Kat by the arm and turning to face him.
"Yes, I am! If I don't Jensen is going to go to Hell instead of you! I can't and I won't stand by and let that happen!" Kat said yanking her arm away.
"So, we're back to that, huh?"
"Dean, I-."
"Sam, give her the knife so she can save the guy she loves."
Kat took the knife from Sam. She opened the book and reread the incantation she had to say. She closed the book and handed it to Sam. She rolled up her sleeve and sighed. She looked at the knife and then looked up. Dean had turned his back on her. She turned and looked at Sam; he gave her an encouraging smile. She nodded and sliced the blade across her skin watching as the blood flowed down into the symbol of the sun and moon.
"Sanctus Matris , Sanctus Abbas recipero is vitualamen ut a subcribo ut meus obsequens per vestri sceptrum quod ordo," she said watching as a dark light starting to come from all the symbols.
Dean turned around and watched as the dark smoke like light seemed to pour from the symbols and circle around them. He watched as Sam grabbed Kat's arm and wrapped a bandana around it. He stepped close to her again and looked at Sam. Sam handed Kat the book and nodded. Kat looked scared as they all heard the thunder start all around them.
"Go on, Kat. You can do this," Sam encouraged her.
"What do you need to do?" Dean asked softly leaning closer to Kat.
"I need to say this next incantation and then the portal should show up and we can go," Kat said looking at the book.
"We?" Sam and Dean asked together.
"I don't belong here anymore. I'm freak here at least in your world I'm normal. Now shut up and let me do this."
"Katerina, if you come with us, hunters will hunt you.... I will hunt you," Dean told her coldly.
"Dean-," Sam tried.
"I don't care Dean. This isn't where I belong. I am going with you."
Dean went to say more but Sam looked at him and he kept his mouth shut. He watched Kat and knew he couldn't let her come back with them. He could barely handle the thought of Sam having to watch him die, there was no way he would be able to hold his shit together if Kat had to see it too. No, he was going to make sure that Kat didn't come with them.
"Sanctus Majores , tribuo nos obduco tergum in orbis terrarum nos peto , tribuo nos tutus obduco ex is universitas in unus nos peto, " Kat said closing the book and throwing it aside. She reached inside her pocket and held the bracelet in her hand. She had every intention of getting rid of it forever.
The three of them jumped when the lightening started flashing. Sam saw the dark grey opening appear in the wall ahead of them. Sam looked at Kat and she nodded as lightening strike the hole. Sam looked at Dean and nodded. Dean grabbed Kat and turned her to face him. He felt her hold on to his jacket tight placing her hands in his pockets. He knew what he was about to say and do was going to hurt her but it needed to be done. She was better off without him.
"I never loved you, Kat. I'm sorry but... It' better if I am truthful to you now. We had fun, sure but... That's all it was to me, was fun. You and me... We don't have a future together, so don't go planning our wedding or anything. I am not the guy who settles down," Dean said seeing Kat's eyes fill with tears. She pulled away from him and he knew she believed him. Good, now for the second part of the plan, "I'm sorry."
"You son of a-," Kat stopped when Dean punched her right on the jaw. Sam caught her and looked at Dean shocked. Dean took Kat in his arms and laid her on the floor.
"What the hell was that, Dean?!" Sam demanded shouting to be heard over the lightening.
"I had to make sure she didn't come with us. Kitten, baby... I'm sorry. I lied, I love you," he whispered kissing her on the forehead softly before standing up. He looked at the hole then looked at Sam, "Let's go home, little brother."
Sam looked at Kat laying on the floor. She looked so small. He looked at Dean and nodded. They walked towards the hole and walked into it.
***
Jensen and Jared had been eating breakfast silently when the lightening started in their room. Jensen grabbed Dean's gun and looked around. He then saw the hole in the wall. He grabbed Jared and turned him so that he could see the grey hole as well. Jared looked back at him.
"So... Question," Jared said sounding calm when he really wanted to run out of the room screaming.
"Shoot," Jensen said really hoping nothing evil came out of that hole.
"Does that mean Kat figured out how to get us back or... Or is everything about to get worse?"
"That is a very good question."
Jared looked at the hole and waited. When a couple minutes went past but Jensen still didn't say anything, Jared turned and looked at Jensen. He elbowed him in the side earning him a glare from his friend.
"Dude, I want an answer," Jared said.
"Well, I don't have an answer. The only to find out is to-," Jensen started.
"You are not going to suggest that we actually go in there, are you?!"
"Well... I was but you said it already."
"Jen, this is not funny."
"Believe me Jared; I know that this isn't funny. I know that. The problem is that right now, we don't have a choice but to go into that damn hole and see where it takes us. I really don't think it could get any worse than this," Jensen said walking towards the hole.
"Dammit!," Jared said following Jensen. They stood in front of the hole. Jared looked at Jensen, "If I die, I am so going to haunt your ass for eternity."
"Just my ass? Damn, Jared, I never thought that all those slash fan fics might be right about you."
Jensen smiled when Jared rolled his eyes. Jensen looked at the hole and sighed. It was now or never. He stepped though. It felt like he was free falling. He flashes of things all around him but he couldn't place them. He saw clouds and lightening and then suddenly he stopped falling. He was standing in... A waiting room?
He turned and saw that Jared had landed right beside him. They looked around the room that looked just like a doctor's office waiting room complete with the soft soothing music. Jared saw the puke green wallpaper with the yellow flowers and looked at Jensen.
"I think we have found Hell," he said.
***
Dean and Sam looked around the long hall. They then looked at each other. Dean shrugged and started walking towards the door at the end. He heard Sam following him and knew at any minute that his younger brother was going to give him a piece of his mind. In three, two, one-.
"How the hell could you hit her?!" Sam demanded walking beside Dean.
"Sam, I don't have time-."
"I know you loved her, Dean. I saw it!"
"Yeah, and tell me what the fuck would that have gotten her?! Tell me what good could have come from her knowing that I loved her, Sam?! I won't be there to hold her at night, to love her, I will never be able to give her that happy ending that she deserves, so tell me, what good does letting her know how damn much I love her do?" Dean asked stopping and looking at Sam.
"She could have come with us, Dean. You two could have had more time," Sam said hating the look that was in his brother's eyes. It already looked like Dean had given up hope; that he was accepting the fact he was going to die and go to hell.
"More time? More time to what, Sammy? Get more attached to her, love her more? And then what? She would have to stand back and watch me die? No, she doesn't deserve that. You don't deserve that."
"I am going to find a way to stop you from going to Hell, Dean. I will."
"Ah, Sam, let's cut the bullshit. You won't find a way and even if you do, it would mean that you would die. And I won't let that happen. Just leave it alone, Sam."
"Dean-."
"Just stop. I can't... Sam, I don't want to talk about this anymore."
Dean saw Sam nod. Dean turned and started walking down the hall again. All he could think about was the look in Kat's eyes as he told her he didn't love her. He wished he could wipe that memory from his mind and only remember the happy times with her. Instead all he could see was her eyes filling with tears and the hurt and pain itched in them as he had broken her heart.
Sorry, Kitten, I really am, he thought as he reached the door at the end of the hall. He waited for Sam. Sam stepped beside him and the shared a look. Sam nodded. Dean pulled open the door and they walked into the waiting room and found themselves staring at two mirror images of themselves.