Life Continues Chapter 14 The Vulnerability of Love, a monk fanfic

Chapter 14 The Vulnerability of Love

Standard Disclosure: I don't own Monk.

Notes: Alas, here we are. The closing chapter of 'Life Continues…'

~~~Please be advised: While this chapter opens with the gang still at 'Tenor', the bulk of the chapter is devoted to Adrian and Natalie and extremely intimate Adult Situations (You know, uhm, sex). So cover any youngster's eyes. And if you are uncomfortable with this subject matter, stop when you reach the double lines of 'xoxoxo'- you'll know when you get there. You can then skip directly to the closing paragraphs.

~~~For those reading chapter 14 in its entirety, I hope ya'll recognize that my intended themes for this chapter are Trust, Honesty, Courage and Love. These are all good things people should fearlessly embrace and what the world needs more of- Enjoy!

Thanks so much for reading and reviewing; it inspires me to keep writing!

A special thanks to Monkwriter for the critical eye and challenging questions; you've polished my stories and made me grow as a writer. ;)

"Sharona, hel-lo? Earth to Sharona?" Randy nudged Sharona's elbow to get her attention before he handed her the drink. The play's intermission was almost over and, after the couple had stood in an endlessly long line, Randy had finally purchased their refreshments.

"Oh, thanks, Randy." She turned and reached for her cup of soda, giving Randy a thin smile.

"What's wrong?"Balancing his and the Captain and TK's drinks in a tray, Randy touched her arm and escorted her away from the concession stand.

"Oh, nothing's wrong. But it's kind of weird, you know? I mean, seeing how Adrian acts with Natalie." Sharona stopped walking as she looked across the lawn towards their blanket. She spied the couple entwined together and rolled her eyes. "Jeez, when I was his assistant, he freaked anytime anyone touched him and when he came near dirt or nature or anything. And now, hmm, he's practically rolling around on the ground with her! I mean, get a room already!"

"Well, I think it's great. Monk seems really happy and Natalie, well, she's always been so nice to him-"

"Are you saying I'm not nice?" Sharona fumed, throwing her drink in the trash. She was abruptly ready for a fight and Randy was her unwitting target.

"NO! Sharona, you are one of the sweetest women I know, or, what I mean is, you are the sweetest woman I know. Not that I know that many women. Umh, know as in know, not as in know; you know what I mean, right? But forget that. Why are you bothered by what Monk and Nat are doing?" Randy tilted his head and Sharona saw a flit of –was it jealousy? - in his eye.

"I'm not bothered. It just strikes me as weird, okay?" Sharona took Randy's hand and gave a reassuring squeeze. A pained look came over her face and she sighed. Sharona then lowered her eyes and shamefully admitted what was gnawing at her heart. "Maybe I'm just a little jealous that he really got better after I left. Even thought I talked to Natalie about this, I still feel like maybe I didn't do enough for Adrian. Like maybe I wasn't so important?"

Randy put the drinks down and pulled Sharona into a hug. "Well, you're very important to me. And besides, Monk was a complete and total wreck when you left him! I know he missed you terribly."

"A complete wreck? I shouldn't be happy about that but, thank you Randy, that's what I needed to hear." Sharona tightened their embrace and then released her hold of him. "Hey, we better get back. It looks like the play is starting."

"Yeah, let's get back. I don't want to miss either show." He leaned down and picked up the drinks.

"Either show?" Sharona puzzled over Randy's remark.

A tiny grin tugged at Randy's face. "Yeah. The first show is on stage and is really funny and then there's the other show. You know, the one on our blanket, where Nat and Monk roll around and –"

Sharona laughed and gave Randy a quick kiss "-and then I get mad over the dumbest things?! I hate that show!"

"Yeah, but I love the leading lady!" Randy cooed as he returned Sharona's kiss.

With a grateful smile, Sharona took his hand and led him back to their spot on the lawn; as usual, Randy's simple words and pure heart had brightened her day.

After casting a fleeting glance towards the other couples, TK stood beside Leland and watched him shake his head and snicker. She ran her hand down his back and pulled herself against his shoulder. "What's so funny Leland? Thinking about the play?"

"No, I'm listening to Monk and Sharona argue. It's like being caught in an alternate universe." He chuckled and shifted his eyes from TK to Sharona and Adrian. "You are witnessing history today, my dear."

"Really? I love witnessing history!" TK joked and turned her attention to their quarreling friends. Since the play had just ended, the gang was milling about, attempting to gather their things together. But, no matter how Sharona and Randy maneuvered, the large blanket was not cooperating.

"It doesn't have to be perfect. Just throw it in the bag and let's go already!" Adrian repeatedly implored as Randy and Sharona attempted to fold the blanket for the third time.

Sharona accidentally pulled too hard and the blanket slipped from Randy's grasp. Adrian brought his hand to his brow and stared at Sharona, his eyes narrowed by impatience and a groan escaping his throat. While Randy reached to pick up the blankets' edge, Sharona snorted, "What? It doesn't have to be perfect? What did you do with the real Adrian Monk?"

Adrian paced back and forth behind Randy and exhaled impatiently, "Please, just hurry up."

Leland winked at TK and clapped his hands, "Okay kids, quit bickering and let's get going already! Sharona, you heard Monk, that blanket doesn't have to be perfect." Sharona rolled her eyes and she and Randy sloppily folded the blanket.

"Hey, why don't we stop on the way home and get a bite to eat?" Randy asked as Sharona stuffed the unevenly folded blanket into the bag.

"NO!" In unison, Adrian and Natalie answered with such conviction and immediacy that Leland started to laugh.

"HA! I guess you have your answer, Randy." Leland turned to Adrian, an eyebrow raised and a smirk showing under his mustache, "Monk, since you're so eager to get home, lead the way. We'll follow you out, buddy. "

Adrian paused and glared at Leland but Natalie swiftly grabbed Adrian's hand and, in a blink, they were careening through the crowd towards the exit. Randy and Sharona attempted in vain to catch up with them and Leland and TK leisurely followed. As they walked, TK turned to Leland and asked, "Is it my imagination, or was Adrian acting uncharacteristically hyper?"

"Nope, it's not your imagination." Leland deadpanned.

"Well, do you know what his problem is? And don't just say 'maybe'. Tell me, Leland." She playfully tugged on his arm, awaiting his answer.

"He doesn't have a problem. He's maybe just a bit, umh, anxious." Leland hinted with a shrug.

TK snickered "Really? Well Natalie was also a little, hmm, anxious when Sharona and I were at her home earlier today. Oh boy, you should have heard her gush over their walk on the beach." TK squeezed Leland's hand. "So, Captain Romance, it seems as though that list of yours was very helpful."

Leland's face softened as he spotted Natalie and Adrian in the distance. "Well, I'm happy to have helped. It's good to see Adrian happy again, he surely deserves it. But -" The Captain laughed, "I am shocked that their relationship has progressed so fast."

With a suggestive chuckle, TK retorted "Well, we better let them get home quick, because it sure doesn't seem fast enough for them."

As the limo made the painstakingly slow drive to Natalie's home, Adrian sat quietly beside his beloved. While Leland, TK, Randy and Sharona discussed and laughingly quoted dialogue from the play, Adrian and Natalie hovered at the periphery of the conversation, offering simple one word answers when questions were directed their way. Otherwise, they were completely and utterly distracted by the simple act of holding hands. And while Natalie occasionally squeezed his hand and he shyly met her gaze, for most of the ride home Adrian looked down and studied how perfectly their hands fit together.

The limo finally arrived at Natalie's home and, after sharing a quick round of 'goodbye's' with their friends, Adrian and Natalie hastily exited the rented car. Before the limousine even pulled away, their eyes met and they once again joined hands. Without a word, Natalie and Adrian began to climb the steep front steps leading to the front porch.

Nearing the top step, Natalie briefly let go of Adrian's hand and rifled through her purse. He instinctively placed his hand on her lower back to guide her across the porch to the front door. When they came to stop before the locked front door, Natalie slid one hand down Adrian's arm and took hold of his hand. She carefully turned it palm up and, as he looked at her questioningly, a softness came to her face. In her free hand, she held up a single house key, threaded on a loop. She placed the key in Adrian's open hand and, with a voice thick with threatening tears, murmured "Welcome home, my love."

Staggered by the enormity of this gift, Adrian slowly closed his hand around this small piece of metal. Taking her in an embrace, Adrian lightly rested his face against hers for a moment and closed his eyes, his voice also husky. "I love you, Natalie."

While Adrian slid his key in the deadbolt, Natalie slipped her arms around his waist, pulling herself snug against his body. Nuzzling her face into his collarbone, she slowly brought a hand up across his chest to his shirt collar. Adrian continued to struggle with the lock as Natalie undid the first few buttons of his shirt, exposing his neck to her fervent kisses.

Adrian's heart skipped a beat as the key finally turned in the lock and the door swung open. But instead of entering the home, he drew his arms around her, tightening their embrace and began returning her kisses. He gently pulled her purse from her shoulder and tossed it onto the table in the foyer. He then took a step to her side and ran his hands down her arms and took hold of her hands. As they continued to eagerly kiss, he wrapped her arms around his neck and, after placing one of his arms around her waist, Adrian quickly bent down and swept his other arm behind her legs, lifting her up off the porch. Carrying her across the threshold, he quickly pushed the front door closed with his foot and carried her to the foot of the stairs, all the while returning her increasingly passionate kisses.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Although it would have been the ultimate romantic gesture, Adrian suddenly realized it might be dangerous to attempt to carry Natalie up the narrow stairs, so he carefully lowered her to the floor at the foot of the staircase. Even as he put her down, she kept her arms tightly around his neck and continued to pull him into her hungry kisses. Intoxicated by her arousal, his hands found their way to her midsection where his fingers recklessly worked the buttons on her blouse. She clumsily stepped backward up a step while her hands roamed down his chest to his waist and desperately untucked his shirt. Climbing the next step together, Natalie broke their kiss and struggled to pull his shirt off.

The next few steps ascending the stairs was a frantic mix of hungry kisses interrupted by the hasty removal of her blouse and, after Natalie accidentally stumbled backward and came to sit on a step, he knelt above her and helped her remove her shoes and sexiest jeans. When her hands made their way down his bare chest to his waist and pulled his belt off, Adrian groaned softly and begged, "Natalie, upstairs. We better hurry-"

A satisfied laugh escaped Natalie's lips as they continued to the top step of the staircase. Clad only in the skimpiest of underclothes, she looping a finger through a now empty belt-loop, pulling him towards her bedroom. "I've been waiting all week for you, Adrian."

They entered her bedroom and the final vestiges of clothing were hastily shed as they crossed to her welcoming bed. It would be hours before Natalie or Adrian rose from their warm nest.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoox

Completely parched, Natalie finally climbed from Adrian's sleepy embrace and ventured to the kitchen for water. He lay in the bed and waited for her return, his mind and senses overwhelmed by their latest passionate encounter. He looked to the doorway and noticed his left shoe out in the hallway and his pants crumpled in a pile near the doorway. Strangely enough, seeing his clothes lying on the floor didn't bother him. Adrian knew the rest of their clothes were carelessly strewn down the stairway and in the living room and yet he felt no compulsion to get out of bed and pick them up; instead he pulled the quilt up to his chin and lingered in the still warm bed.

A gentle breeze crossed the room and he turned his face away from the open door and looked out the window. Although the curtains were closed, he could tell the sky was starting to darken. They had been home for several hours and yet it seemed only minutes had passed since Natalie had placed the house key in his hand. His house key. The enormity of this gesture caused his heart to once again begin to race.

Natalie stepped on a creaking floorboard in the hallway and Adrian turned to see her enter the bedroom. God, she was stunningly beautiful; wearing only his button down shirt, she had left most of the buttons undone and had rolled up the sleeves, exposing her delicate wrists. He opened his mouth to say something but instead twitched and silently sighed. Once again he had been struck speechless. He wanted desperately to compliment her every act and virtue but instead, lamented how easily his words were silenced by his insecurities and fears.

She had their discarded clothes draped over one arm and in her hands she held a bottled water and glass. His eyes followed Natalie as she placed the water and glass on the nightstand and then neatly set the clothes on a chair. She then turned and went to retrieve his shoe from the hall. After sliding his shoes side-by-side under the dresser, she bent over to rescue his pants from the floor.

When she leaned down to gather his pant up, the partially buttoned shirt gaped open and Adrian instinctively brought his hand up to shield his eyes. Natalie saw this gesture and, after folding his pants over the chair, came over and perched on the edge of the bed, her hip resting against his side. She placed her hand on his and gently pulled his hand from his brow. "What are you hiding from, Adrian?"

Eyes closed, he shook his head. He could feel a blush washing over his body. In a fit of self-consciousness, he grasped the quilt with his free hand and pulled it over his now-exposed shoulder.

"Adrian, please tell me."

With downcast eyes, he whispered, "I'm sorry."

"Sorry for what?"

Eyes still averted, his voice came out reminiscent of a teenage boy's, strained and uneasy, "I was, you know, looking at you."

Natalie took him by the chin and tilted his face upward. "Adrian, please look at me." She waited as his eyes slowly followed the line of buttons up the shirt, linger at the open collar and eventually met her gaze.

A tender smile graced Natalie's lips. "I love you."

"I love you too, Natalie." Adrian easily responded, his blush beginning to subside.

"I know you do Adrian," She sighed quietly, "but I need to ask something of you, my love. And I realize it is going to be difficult for you. But I'm with you now and forever, okay?"

He nodded solemnly and, despite the apprehensive feeling invading his heart, managed to hold her gaze.

Natalie offered a reassuring smile before she continued. "Adrian, I know I can't begin to know all the traumas you've suffered or experiences that have scarred you heart and soul, and one day I hope you'll open up about your past and tell me everything, but -" Natalie lightly stroked his face, "-but today I'm asking you to completely trust yourself with me."

"I do trust you, Natalie." Adrian traced his hand lightly along her arm, a gentle smile of relief coming to his face.

"Yes, I know you trust me. I want you to trust yourself. Every part of yourself." Natalie scanned his face and squeezed his hand. "I recognize that puzzled look on your face, so let me try and explain. I know we love each other, Adrian. We have each other's hearts. But we don't just love with our hearts and minds; we're also love with our bodies. And when we share our bodies, we celebrate our love for each other.

"I'm telling you that you never have to feel embarrassed when you're with me. You're safe with me. Allow yourself to love me completely, without any reservation. I want you to give in to the desire to look at me or to touch me or to admit that you want my body. I know you're shy and easily embarrassed by physical intimacy and nudity, but I'm talking about the purest type of love.

"You honor me when you openly and willingly love every part of me; my heart, my mind and my body." Natalie leaned over and softly kissed Adrian on the forehead and then dropped her eyes and contemplated the quilt that was pulled up to his shoulders.

She looked to his face again and slowly pulled the quilt from his chest down to his waist. "I know you're going to be uncomfortable with what else I'm about to tell you, but this is something you need to know and to accept." Natalie rested her hand on his chest and lightly kissed his lips. "I love every single part of you. Your mind, your heart and your body."

She leaned back and rubbed her thumb against his chin. "I love how your beautiful eyes sparkle and lighten when you're happy but turn coal-black when you're angry. I love that half-smile that creeps across your face when you're amused. And this strong, determined jaw line makes me crazy." She slid her open hand across his cheek and sighed, "as does this unruly five-o'clock shadow you're always fighting. Adrian, I love every part of you."

Adrian struggled to hold her gaze; all his self-doubt and anxieties flooded his mind and fought against everything Natalie had just said. Was he truly worthy of her love? And, was he brave enough to love her completely? Admittedly they had already made love, but he had purposefully avoided looking at her body when she was in a state of undress and, during the act itself, he had kept his eyes closed. He now also confessed to having restrained himself when with her, afraid to fully give into complete expression. Natalie had fearlessly given herself to him while Adrian had to ashamedly admit that, up until this very moment, because of shyness and embarrassment, he still guarded a small piece of his heart. The sound of his now racing heart was deafening. "Natalie, how do I let go of my fears?"

A tender smile crossed her lips. "Trust yourself, my love." Natalie brought his hands to her shirtfront and, after she undid the few buttons that held the shirt closed, guided his hands in removing her shirt. His eyes briefly flicked away from her as he gulped a breath, sure he might pass out. What was wrong with him? Why couldn't he enjoy how beautiful her body was?

"Can I join you under there?" Without waiting for an answer, Natalie gently lifted the edge of the quilt and slid beneath it, her body now beside his, trapping his arm between them."Are you okay?"

"Yes." Adrian breathed shakily; his eyes unwittingly roamed the exposed curves of her body. I need to trust myself.

Propped up on her elbow, Natalie smiled when he finally returned his gaze to her face. She then traced her hand down his chest, following the thick tangle of hair that traveled down to his stomach and parted to encircle his well-hidden belly button. Natalie's hand did several slow circles on his stomach, "Still okay?"

He nodded; a little shaky but definitely not terrible. Actually it was better than 'not terrible', it was rather pleasant.

Natalie then laid her head on Adrian's chest and, after another slow circle, her hand resumed tracing the downy line further.

His eyes fluttered closed at her touch and he caught his breath, making him suddenly dizzy. Okay, this was, umh, it was - "Natalie?"

She lifted her head, but not her hand, and met his unsettled gaze with concern. "Is this too much?"

Recognizing her worry, he stammered, "No, ah, well, ah-" He slightly shifted away from her and pulled his trapped arm out from between their bodies. "No one, I mean Trudy had never, and I, you know-" This was extremely humiliating for Adrian. While he wanted the experience, he was most definitely uneasy at the moment.

Natalie slid her hand back to his stomach, giving him time to allow his anxieties to lessen.

He took a deep breath. He stared at the ceiling for a moment and then looked at Natalie. "Okay. I think I'm okay. You can, you know-"

Natalie searched his eyes to make sure he wasn't forcing himself to do something merely for her sake. When she saw his willingness, she slid her hand back into place and watched his reaction. "How's that?"

With a look on his face between pleasure and fear, he nodded. He groaned slightly and slid his arm over her shoulder, running his hand down her back.

"Good." She softly kissed him. "So you're not afraid?"

"Not afraid, but maybe a little, you know, nervous." He returned her soft kissed and brought his hand to her face, guiding her in for another delicate kiss.

"Don't be nervous, I love you." She returned the soft kiss, then another and another and gradually the intensity began to build as their bodies drew even closer. Then Natalie whispered, "I want you, Adrian. All of you."

He opened his eyes and met her loving gaze. She wanted him, every last bit. He was at the turning point and didn't want to falter. "Nat, I, I love you too." Adrian shifted to his side and gently rolled her onto her back. Through all the anxieties and fears swirling in his mind, the one thought that spoke the loudest came from his heart- "Natalie, I want you, too."

With a trust that overshadowed his nervousness, he let her guide his hands and body in achingly pleasurable ways. He watched her face while her body responded under his touch and realized he was grateful to be with her. And when she huskily called his name, giving herself completely to him, his apprehension was washed away. Burying his face in her shoulder, every barrier fell and he surrendered to her love. Adrian quietly sobbed her name as he lost himself to her.

Natalie tenderly caressed his quivering muscles as he continued to tremble in her arms. Never before had he allowed himself to be so vulnerable, his heart unguarded and exposed. It was all too much. But slowly he heard her sweet voice, quietly reassuring him and felt her arms, strong and safe. Adrian stirred from her shoulder and, without shame or embarrassment, turned his tear-stained face to meet her gaze. "I love you, Natalie, without reservation or fear. You have all of me, forever."

While gently kissing the tears from his cheek, Natalie found her own face wet with tears. "I love you too, Adrian, always and forever." He lightly wiped the tears from her face and once again rested his head on her shoulder, basking in her embrace. Her tender mercies had brought solace to his battered heart and, in turn, he had given her the greatest gift; himself.

Exhausted and ready for sleep, Natalie untangled from his embrace and rolled to her side, her back to Adrian. He followed her body, her back now safely tucked against his chest. He lovingly caressed her hip and then slid his hand along her waist and rested it on the slight curve of her stomach. Adrian pulled her closer and sleepily murmured, "forever, Natalie." He closed his eyes and, before drifting off, he thanked God for the gift of Natalie and her unconditional love.

Unbeknownst to the slumbering lovers, tonight they both had been further blessed.

The man who could detect every little clue through the framework of his hands was unaware of the miraculous gift that was now forming, right beneath his protective hand. Hidden deep in the warmth and darkness, their future was joining and weaving together, already beginning to take shape.