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…castiel…
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To: Standardised Mailing List
CC: AOThursday .. cherubim . org
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Subject: RE: I'm bored! Gimme a break!
Dean. I do not understand.
What is the purpose of this?
Am I supposed to enter my observations?
TELL US ABOUT YOU
What time is it?: 16:03:21:34 pm
Name: I am called Castiel, once seraph of the Heavenly Host and Angel of Thursday.
Nicknames: I think I'm familiar with this practice – assigning colloquial names for friends. In that regard, I suppose my nickname would be Cas. It's what Dean and Sam call me.
Parent's names: I have but one Father, and his name is Yahweh.
Number of candles that appeared on your last birthday cake: In heaven, we do not have cake.
Date that you regularly blow them out (birthday): As I stated. No cake. Hence, no candles.
Pets: My vessel, Jimmy, had a goldfish once. I'm not sure if that is relevant. He had affection for this fish.
Height: 5' 11". 1.80 m in metric.
Eye color: Blue. They are not my true eyes, though, which blaze with the light of a distant sun.
Hair Color: Black.
Piercing: I find myself strangely disturbed by this reference, as I recall that day outside Jerusalem.
HAVE YOU EVER...?
Had the drink Calypso Breeze?: I am uncertain. There are two occasions when I've imbibed alcohol and, for whatever reason, I cannot recall exactly what I imbibed.
Been in love?: I have known great love for my brothers, and the creations of my Father.
Been toilet-papering?: Once more, I do not understand the concept. I can't derive what it is from your answer, Dean. Perhaps more detail, if you please.
Loved somebody so much it makes you cry?: I shed no tears.
THE FUTURE:
School: I was schooled by the scribes of the ages. St Paul, St John… not Luke. Luke scares me.
Where You Want To Live: I thought I desired a return to Paradise. But, from what I have seen, Topeka seems nice.
How Many Kids You Want: I am unable to bear offspring. Dean explained it to me once by making reference to a ken-doll. Like so much of what he says, I failed to comprehend the meaning.
Girl names: Shall I just start listing them in alphabetical order? Very well… Aadi, Aafje, Aaid, Aaliyah, Aaralyn, Ababuo, Abana, Abarne, Abbatha, Abbey, Abbie, Abby, Abej, Abeni, Abia, Abiba, Abigail, Abilene, Abra, Abrianna, Abrielle, Abrienda, Abril…
Boy names: Aaron, Aba, Abay, Abba, Abbot, Abdiel, Abdukrahman, Abdullah, Abdulrahman, Abe, Abednego, Abeeku, Abeeku, Abel, Abelaard, Abhay, Abie... I fear this question is utilising far too much of my time.
What Kind Of Job You Want: I am a messenger. I was created to be a messenger. That is what I am, and what I shall be.
You Want To Get Married: Do I? I thought these were questions.
WHO:
Makes You Laugh The Most: I rarely laugh. I am capable of feeling humour. Dean Winchester is adept at arousing such feelings of mirth.
Do You Go To For Advice or To talk About Things: I pray. Or, at least, I used to.
Who Do You Hate: I love all creation. Yes, even the Adversary, though I will endeavour to defeat him.
Knows The Most About You: My Father.
Is Your Best Friend: I don't mean to presume, but… I would like to think the Winchesters are my friends. If I'm wrong, I do apologise.
Has It Easier, Guys Or Girls: Has what easier?
WHICH ONE?
Croutons or Bacon Bits: Croutons or bacon bits what?
2 doors or 4 (on a car): Some cars have two, and some have four. I don't understand the question.
Mr. Pibb or Dr. Pepper: I don't know these people.
Coffee or Ice-cream: Coffee or ice-cream what?
Shampoo or Conditioner: Dean, this is getting silly.
Bridges or Tunnels: These questions are not questions at all.
One pillow or two: They make no sense.
Adidas or Nike: I find it distressing.
Nike or Reebok: When are the true questions starting again?
Adidas or Reebok: These are not names I'm familiar with. Are the Hebrew? Reebok sounds Enochian.
WORD ASSOCIATION (FIRST THING THAT COMES TO MIND): At last, a concept I can grasp.
Rock: Rock.
Green: Green.
Wet: Wet.
Cry: Cry.
Peanut Butter: Peanut butter.
There. That was much easier.
FAVORITES:
Salad Dressing: I have always found this terminology quite queer. Salad, as a bio-organic food stuff, cannot be naked. Indeed, in the garden after they sinned, Adam and Eve covered themselves with fig leaves. By that distinction, it can be quantified that salad is, in fact, clothing.
Color of socks: Yes. Socks have colour.
Memory: I have a didactic memory, or, in layman's terms, perfect recall. Except for those two occasions when alcohol somehow rendered this ability non-functional, as I mentioned on the 35th line of this email. At least I remember that there were two occasions.
Toothpaste: A substance used in the practice of dental hygiene. It is recommended that one practices this three times daily. I have mentioned this to Dean several times. He always responds in the same manner: "Bite me, Cas!" I do not understand what my own dental proficiency has to do with it.
Food: I don't eat.
Song at the moment: I am versed, and quite fond of the Psalms. I have always found Led Zeppelin's Stairway to Heaven quite compelling as well.
TV show: I don't watch television. Out of curiosity, I watched an episode of The Jerry Springer Show once, and almost lost my faith in humankind, angelkind, just about everything, really…
Toothbrush: I refer you my response on toothpaste.
Subject in School: I refer you to my response under the topic 'Future', or line 50 for easy reference.
Flower: The Rose of Sharon.
Color: I am fond of tan. I do not know why.
Non-Alcoholic Drink: Water is fine.
Sport to Watch: Once, on a Mission from God, I attended a figure skating competition. I was moved.
Country Song: The Star Spangled Banner is this country's song.
Sesame Street Character: I have travelled the earth, yea from east to west, and from the north unto the south, and I have yet to alight on a place called Sesame Street. Perhaps it is in Burbank.
Disney Character: Isn't that the company that made the Prince of Egypt? I was there. I don't remember that much singing.
Warner Brothers: I am friends with the Winchester Brothers.
RANDOM QUESTIONS
When was your last hospital check in: Two years ago I was present for the passing of an aged lady, by the name of Moira. She was surrounded by family and friends. I don't know why they kept talking about her sanity waning because she left all her money to her cat. Was the cat not a fit adjudicator?
Do You Drink: Since I met Dean Winchester.
How many times did you fail your permit and Drivers License Test?: I don't drive. I find it… confining.
Where do you see yourself in 10 years?: I could go check, but trips into the future are troublesome. Perhaps next time.
Who is the last person that you got mail from before this one?: I have only subscribed to this service recently, on the advice of Chuck Shirley. He mentioned something about 'comic relief' for his new book.
Have you ever been convicted of a crime?: No. I am absolved.
Which single store would you choose to max your credit card?: I do not own one.
What type of car you drive now?: You were right, Dean. These questions do, indeed, become repetitive.
What do you do most often when you are bored?: I am never bored.
Name the person that you are friends with that lives the farthest away from you: Distance has little meaning for an angel.
Are You In A Gang Or Club: I believe Dean once referred to us as 'Team Free Will'. I like the sound of that.
Motorcycles: Even worse than cars.
What Is Your Favorite Kind Of Clothes: I own one outfit.
Are You Close Minded: I was meant to be. I am not anymore.
Are You Open Minded: I believe I am.
Are You A Player: I do not engage in sport.
Can u be in love w/2 people at the same time?: Love need not be confined.
Bedtime: I require no sleep.
Humiliating Moment: I was once mistaken for a cupid. I could not show my face around the heavenly water cooler for months.
Who do you think will respond to this fastest?: Probability will suggest that it will be Sam.
Who is the person you sent this to that is least likely to send back?: I, too, am apprehensive about the Bobby 'idjit' call.
What time is it now: 16:32:27:59 pm.
Who's most likely not gonna read this: It is out there. Who knows?
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