My name is awfully close to Joanne, but unfortunately, I'm not quite as rich as J.K. Rowling. I am forced to deduce that I am not her.

This lacks a bit of fluff. Sorry. :)

How to Survive James Potter for Dummies

Written and experienced by Lily Evans

Chapter 2: Who is this boy?

"Potter?! Is Dumbledore out of his mind?" breathed Alice Thomas. Mary Davies was staring at Lily, at a loss for words. Lily had just informed her two friends that James Potter was chosen for Head Boy. The three of them were rushing out of Dumbledore's office, away from James. He didn't run after them. Lily guessed he was running off to tell Sirius Black everything that happened. The two of them would see each other again in … Lily tried not to wince … their dormitory.

Lily sighed, throwing her head back and staring at the ceiling. "I know... oh, Merlin... this is going to be torture. I was so excited to be Head Girl, too. I can't believe Dumbledore."

Alice grinned. "I think there's a good thing coming out of this. Don't you think, Mary?"

Mary laughed. "What? That Lily's going to get to know James?"

"You read my mind," Alice said slyly. "I can't wait to -"

"Wait, wait, wait," Lily interrupted irritably, "I won't, under any circumstances, get to know James any more than a strictly professional relationship. Friends, possibly, but nothing more. I am only getting along with him because I have to. I promise, nothing will happen."

Alice and Mary didn't argue. They were silent, their thoughts to themselves. Lily could take a guess at what they were thinking. She bid them goodnight, and Lily parted with her friends to leave for the Head dormitory. James had arrived at exactly the same time. The dorm was right across from the Prefect's Bathroom. "What's the password, James?" Lily asked. James stared at her, looking as though he was about to reply, but she said something shocking that brought him to a stunned silence. She crossed her arms. "What, Potter?"

James grinned. "Never mind. It's Godric. I got to choose it. You left Dumbledore's office too early."

"It's alright. I like the one you chose," said Lily stiffly. "Godric," she said to the portrait of all four founders. Godric Gryffindor beamed, and the portrait swung open.

James let Lily in first. Her face slackened into a smile as she looked around. It was considerably smaller than the Gryffindor common room, perhaps because this one was only for accommodation of two people. It was still very homey, however, and Lily liked it. Unlike the Gryffindor dormitories, there were no stairs. There were just two doors at the end of the room. A plaque was on each of the doors. One read, HEAD BOY, and the other read, HEAD GIRL.

"Ah, look, it's Lily," said James brightly. Lily turned to look at him, frowning, confused. James chuckled and pointed to the window, where a snowy owl tapped at the window. "My owl. I named her after you. I just got her this summer. The last one was named Funny. The opposite of serious, you get it?"

Lily laughed, much to her surprise. She shrugged off the fact James' owl was named after her. "Yes, I get it." James opened the window, letting in Lily-owl. The owl perched herself onto the couch, watching Lily. James crossed the room and yawned, twisting the door knob.

"Listen, I'm exhausted. I'll see you tomorrow?"

"See you tomorrow, then," said Lily, eyes furrowed, bemused. She was shocked. Nothing had happened. He hadn't... really flirted with her.

"Good night, Lil." James gave her a smile and walked into his room. Lily-owl fluttered after him, and the door closed. Lily was so confused. Who is this boy?

**

Lily sat in the Head common room, watching the grandfather clock. Why wasn't he awake yet? There was only a few minutes to get ready! They were Heads, they couldn't be late! Irritated, she got up with her mug of coffee and rapped on his door. "Potter?" she said loudly. When there was no response, Lily irritably opened the door, immediately feeling embarrassed. James was sprawled on his bed, and he had kicked the blanket off the bed. He was shirtless, naturally. Lily felt her face heat up, but yelled, "James!"

James twisted in his bed, curling up like a young child. Lily even found herself smiling. He mumbled, "No... too early..."

"Too early?" Lily repeated, crossing the room. She stood beside his bed, "Potter, it's 8:15 in the morning. You have fifteen minutes to get ready!"

James snapped out of his balled up position. His hazel eyes were sleepily staring up at Lily. "You're not my mother..." Then, his eyes opened even wider. "Oh! Lily! Good morning to you, too." He grinned, folding his arms behind his head lazily. He was still staring at Lily. "You're a lovely sight to wake up to, Miss Evans, I hope you know that."

"I've been made aware by you just now," said Lily, hiding her blush with a stony expression, "Get up, Potter!" She was staring fixedly at his pillow, but his well-toned abdominal stood out in the corner of her eye. James didn't miss it. He snickered.

"Get out, Evans, I have to change," said James. He grinned, standing up, ruining Lily's concentration. Her eyes flashed to his arms once or twice. "Or you could stay."

Lily rolled her eyes. This was a bit more natural. "Ha ha. If you're not out in five minutes -"

"I get it, Mother dear," James interrupted, smiling. Lily fought the urge to smile back.

Exactly five minutes later, James was out, looking perfectly acceptable (with the exception, of course, of his wild hair that isn't ever to be tamed). "Shall we head to breakfast, dear?"

"Don't call me that," Lily said shortly, "and sure."

"Er... if you don't mind my asking," said James reluctantly, "did things between you and..."

Lily interrupted: "I didn't talk to him all summer, and I don't plan on talking to him ever again." When Lily said something bad about James, Severus looked triumphant. That was why she was surprised that when she spoke something negative about Severus to James, the latter looked disappointed.

"But... he's your best friend," James tried.

"Was," said Lily. "Why do you care, anyway?"

James shrugged, looking oddly uncomfortable. "I kind of regret... what I did. To make him call you a you-know-what."

Lily looked away, eyes fluttering in shock. "Er. He would have called me mudblood some other time anyway. It's not your fault. He said it."

"I just mean, if I imagine it the other way around. If Sirius said something about me like that... I can't imagine..." James turned to her. "Sorry."

"It's alright. I have Alice and Mary," said Lily, trying to sound confident. She was confused. When he woke up, James was this happy, bright, kid who didn't seem at all seventeen or a Head Boy. Now, he was … sincere. Again, Lily thought in utter bemusement: Who is this boy?

**

"Good day, Lil?" James asked, coming in with his Quidditch robes and broom. Lily was lounging on the couch, reading some of her school books, homework laid out in front of her. He flinched. "Ugh. NEWT year... thanks for reminding me how much work I have to do." James dropped some Quidditch figurines on the coffee table where her homework was. He had been making them perform maneuvers for him.

Lily smiled. "Procrastinating, I see. You're going to be busy with Head Boy duties, Quidditch, and NEWT year."

"Don't tell me that again," James said, kicking off his shoes and leaping onto the armchair, lying down sideways on it. He stared up at the ceiling. "Ughhh.. thanks. Now I feel the need to study. Do you need any help with anything?"

"N -" Lily started, staring at the Transfiguration homework in her planner. She remembered the near miss she had with the spell in class today... "Well..."

James saw where her eyes were looking. "Transfiguring inanimate objects to animate?" He pointed his wand at a figurine, and moved his wrist in the correct motion. "Alacritas!" He moved his wand over the other sixteen figurines. "Show me a good hawkshead attacking formation. Starfish and stick, you." He said the last sentence to the keeper, who dangled himself off the miniature broom. Three chasers positioned themselves in a sort of triangle, aiming towards the keeper. After the keeper saved the goal, James said, "Subsisto permoveo." They froze in the air.

Lily watched. "How -?"

"Try it," said James, smiling. "I'll see what you're doing wrong."

Scrunching her face up in concentration, Lily waved her wand in a slight differentiation from the way James did, saying firmly to the little figurines, "Alacritas!" The one Beater she was pointing at seemed to shudder slightly. It moved a while before crashing to the table.

"You're moving your arm wrong," James said gently. "Try it with more a flick, with more active movement from the wrist." He smiled at her patiently. "And believe in yourself." Lily tried to move it the way he suggested first. "No, no, no." James got up and stood behind her couch. He moved his head beside hers, wrapping his palm around her wrist. "Like this."

Lily forced herself to find the breath she had lost and let James guide her hand. "Okay, I think I have it," she said hastily, so he would let go of her wrist. James leaned back. His palms were pressed against the back of the couch, all weight against it.

"Alright," James said, "show me."

Swallowing, hopefully not loudly, Lily took a deep breath and performed the wrist movement properly. "Alacritas!" She pointed it at the Chaser, frozen in the air. It started moving. Lily burst into a grin. "Yeah!"

James grinned. "Hey, good job, Evans!" He held his hand up for high-five.

Lily stared at it, then gave James a smile. She hit his hand with hers, beaming proudly. "Thank you, James."

"You're toggling between James and Potter," said James, smiling. He sat back down. The flying chaser zoomed toward him. "Go give her a kiss," he ordered.

Lily watched the little figure zoom towards her. Suddenly, Lily realized that the little figurines were the Gryffindor Quidditch team, and the Chaser was James. She shielded her face. "Oh, shoo, tiny Potter." The Chaser smirked at her and flew back to the table. James wore an identical smug look on his face.

"So? Why aren't you calling me Potter, all the time?" James asked.

Lily shrugged. "I don't know. We're... kind of friends, now, aren't we?"

"I suppose so," James replied, still smiling to himself, as though remembering a funny joke to himself. "I'm going to study in my room, Lily. I'll never get anything done in here. You distract me easily." He winked, and went off to his room.

Again, Lily found the corners of her lips turned upwards. These Potter mood swings were confusing her. Did he still fancy her, or not? She stared at the door James had just disappeared into, then back at her homework. She shook her head, still smiling, and asked herself: Who is this boy?

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