Hello there, lovely readers :) This chapter is close to having the fluff I am dying to write, but unfortunately, my fic's Lily has the restraint. The name of this chapter is referring to the Sorcerers' Stone Halloween, when the Golden Trio first became friends. I believe JKR said something along the lines of, 'There are some things you can't share without ending up liking each other, and knocking out a twelve-foot mountain troll is one of them'.

You are all intelligent people, I trust? You should know I'm not JKR.

How to Survive James Potter for Dummies

Written and experienced by Lily Evans

Chapter 3: A Mountain Troll Moment

Lily Evans strolled along the grounds, quite alone, and quite enjoying it. She walked across the trees, thinking. She was thinking about many things, but luckily, none of them were about NEWTs, Head duties, and especially not James Potter. She was thinking about happy times with Severus Snape. She was also thinking about happy times with Petunia. She sighed wistfully. Where had those days gone?

"Lily!"

There wasn't a need to turn around. Lily knew the voice well enough. She started walking quickly. "You mean, 'mudblood'," she snarled. Snape put a hand on her shoulder and turned her around.

"Lily, please, just hear me out," he begged. The redhead's expression didn't soften. She crossed her arms, right hand holding her wand. Her eyes were narrowed coldly. Snape flinched. "I swear, Lily, come on... it's me, Sev. Your best friend. I never meant to say that. It just slipped..."

"You say the same thing," Lily snapped, "every year."

"The mudblood bothering you, Snape?"

Lily knew those voices, too. She felt a little scared as the intimidating Avery and Yaxley moved out from the trees. They were grinning wickedly.

"No," said Snape coolly, "you can leave."

"Nonsense," said Yaxley, eyes gleaming with the idea of hexing Lily. She put up a brave face to it, but didn't speak. Yaxley continued, "Of course she's bothering you, Snape. Mudbloods bother anybody and everybody."

"Furnculus!" Avery exclaimed with a grin. Lily's hands flew to her face, dropping her wand. She let out a cry as boils sprouted over her skin. She wanted to scream for someone. Her first thought went to James, but he wasn't here. She thought of Severus. Lily thought she would help her. He stood there, looking terrified and frozen, unsure of what to do.

Both Yaxley and Avery laughed. Yaxley guffawed: "Ah, you look much better, now, mudblood!"

"Cruc -" began Avery excitedly.

A new voice called out from the trees. "Expelliarmus!" James Potter looked hateful. Through the boils on her face, she could see the anger in his eyes, and Lily felt like he was a new person. He looked like a new, terrifying person. "Accio, Lily's wand!" He handed it to her, then stepped in front of her. Avery stood wandless, standing beside Yaxley. Behind him was Snape, who probably looked just as angry as James.

"Hello, Potter," said Avery coldly.

"Thirty five points from Slytherin," he declared, voice filled with contempt, "for attacking the Head Girl and almost using an Unforgivable Curse. You should be expelled for getting half way through the word. Dumbledore will hear from this. If you hurt her anymore, I will hurt you, no matter how much points I lose. Now, leave."

Snape looked uncertain to leave as the other Slytherins grudgingly stalked off. He sent a glare to James and then ran off. James quickly turned and muttered a counter-curse. Lily was crying as her boils disappeared. "Oh, Lily, don't cry. Don't give them the satisfaction. Lily, come on." He was hesitant. "Would you hurt me if I hugged you?"

Lily was starting to laugh-cry. She flung her arms around him and cried into his shoulder. "Thank you, James."

James hugged her tightly. It wasn't even... like that. He just wanted to comfort her. "You're very welcome. Lil, come on. Be a Gryffindor." He said the last sentence like one might say, 'be a man'. Lily had stopped crying. She leaned back and smiled weakly, looking slightly amused. James looked strained as they stared at each other. Lily frowned somewhat.

"What's wrong?"

James shook his head. "I want to kiss you, but I don't want boils on my face."

Lily laughed, and let go. She wiped some of the tears dangling from her lashes and said weakly, "I'm not... crying... because they hurt me."

"Why, then?" James asked patiently.

The voice that replied to him was distant, sad, and a near whisper: "He didn't defend me." James sighed. Lily said helplessly, "I don't know... but I expected him to help me! I wanted him to... I thought..." She wiped some tears that had started falling again, but just started crying again. She buried her face in her hands.

"Shh, shh," James soothed, wrapping his arms around her again.

"I'm not going to cry," said Lily, forcing herself to stop crying, "I won't. Won't. Won't. Won't."

"He's a big fat jerkface, alright, Lily? He's not worth crying over," said James gently, "Anyone who deserts you in your time of need is a terrible person."

"And that makes you... the opposite... of a terrible person?" Lily asked, smiling.

"Damn right!" James agreed cheerfully. Lily laughed.

"Thank you, James," said Lily again. "Merlin, I'm pathetic."

James shook his head. "No, you aren't," he said fiercely. "Trust me. I swear, we can go through Gryffindor, Ravenclaw, and Hufflepuff. I promise, they'll say you aren't pathetic. Come on. Let's go back up to the dorm. I have chocolate frogs."

**

Errrm... I kind of liked that better? How about you? REVIEW :D I have crayons... and updates ;)