Yeah, I had a case of something devouring my brain whole and spitting up nothing but vulgar things for a while, that is, in other words, meaningful writer's block. I was happy to find that once I wrote these vulgar things though, the writer's block passed me by and I have a greater respect for people who just write straight, meaningless smut (Am I the only one that thinks it needs to be spelled smutt? It seems like a word that needs a double consonant hm.). I never realized how difficult it could be .;;; Und… Er… Well, I will be posting these things in their own time as they were written during my exams which I did pretty well on. I'm too afraid to check the math exam grade and I'm sure most of you peeps out there know exactly why XD
Anyway, yeah, last chapter… Damn, I promised myself to give myself a break after finishing Aftermath and I did nothing of the sort, this turned out to be a bigger project than I originally wanted it to be but whatevs, it wasn't so bad XD Yeah, as usual there will be thank you notes handed out near the end of the chapter soooooh, ja, JanesRedBottle you're up again!
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It Just Is
Christmas. Canada's inner monologue spat. After that fiasco in the entrance hall he didn't feel so Christmassy anymore. He had been shoved aside for an old love. Suddenly he seemed capable of understanding just why Prussia insisted upon that he did not feel such emotions. Things just hurt less that way.
"I still love Antonio." He remembered as his gut twisted itself into knots. A finger rested on the trigger of his gun as he examined it in the back bedroom of Germany's home. He must've really looked like his brother then. Slowly, he wished he hadn't tossed out his cookies those years go because his hand was bringing the gun up to his mouth.
"Maddhew?"
Prussia! Quickly he put the gun down as Gilbert came around the bed to look at him. He seemed equal parts irritated and relieved.
"America! He's in hier!" He also brought his brother with him?! The Prussian came to stand over the defeated-looking boy. There was an ever slight sneer on his face, yeah, he was irritated alright. It seemed to Canada that the man was at a loss for words. For just a few seconds, they stared at each other A long last, his expression softened a bit and he looked away from the heart-broken and confused youth. "I know how it feels." He mumbled vaguely, as if he were angry with himself for admitting it, he leaned down and put a hand on Matthew's head.
"Get y'hands off him!" Alfred yanked the albino away from his brother and gave him a good, hard shove, knocking him back and down to his butt. Matthew was just silent and stared as he watched the two's confrontation escalate.
Gilbert growled and shot to his feet, anger as hot as a roaring flame in his eyes. He didn't even seem to notice it when Canada pressed himself up against the bedside table to his back.
"I'fe alreaty explaint myselv to Francis Alfred!" He spat the man's human name, intentionally offensive. "I coult hev killt him. I know dat! I! Fuckt! Up! Now, led it de fuck goh! For being a good inch and a half shorter, Prussia didn't have to try hard in his fury to make America seem like a child. The anger of a centuries old and dead nation knew no bounds. Another glare was all it took to have America properly cowed and five steps back from the two. "Ahs I vas schaying Maddhew…" Gilbert turned back to the very depressed nation, his face softening at the sight of him. "I do know vhat it's like. It schucks nod being goot enough for somevon else. Mosd of de damn time dough, dey're nod efen vord de trouple dey gif you." Prussia snorted angrily, as if reliving something of the sort in his head. "Bud, you know vhat I'm going to say aboud it…"
"Get over it." Canada said, looking away and burying his face in his coat sleeve.
"Und?"
"And… Uhm…"
"Be…" Matthew only seemed capable of staring at him blankly. The Prussian responded with a sigh and an eye roll. "Begins vid an 'o'."
"How exactly can I be optimistic about this Gil?" Matthew received an exasperated smile and a short "kese".
"If you're ahsking dat, den dat explains vhy you'fe been gifing dat gun in your hant a lofer's schtare. I'm surprist dis god to you vhile being ignort ahs nonexistent for years upon ent ditn'd."
"Maybe it was the straw that broke the camel's back."
"Look hier you liddle pansy, ve hev to deal vid a lod of schid in our lifes, ve nations. Bud it's nefer soh bat dat ve hev de righd to take ourselfs from de vorlt und de people in it… I'm nefer being dis sendimendal efer again in my live." A victorious smirk graced Prussia's lips when this had its desired effect, Matthew snorted with humor. "Be obdimisdic dat someding bedder ist coming. How for fuck's sake dit you dink I lift vhen I vas vid Russia?" Now that Gilbert reminded him, his simple unrequited love with Lovino seemed like nothing. He was never occupied for so long by a sick, sadistic nation…
"There are times… That I think you are a child Gil… Then you say something like that or… You remind me of how childish I can be…" He sighed and buried his face in his arms again.
"Hey, nod ef'ryvon cahn be awesome like me, I unterschtant, dere ist no neet to apologize." The albino bent down to muss the boy's hair. "Bud, I dink Westen und Italy ahre aboud to do someding in de next room und I vant to make fun of him. Soh…" He grabbed one of the blonde's hands and thrust him to his feet. "Led's goh!" Matthew was find it harder and harder to suppress a smile as Gilbert enthusiastically tugged him from the room and down the hall. Alfred, dumbfounded by the exchange he had just witnessed (and still partially intimidated from being yelled at) trailed behind them.
"Don'd led goh." Germany's voice, barely audible over the crowd of cheerful guests, was heard as he kissed Italy on the forehead. Gilbert stopped at the entrance to the room, folding his arms over his chest, he was pouting. Everyone else was happy for the two embracing men, but Prussia always loved to complain about something. Even if he got what he wanted.
"Vell, fuck…" Matthew noticed the man's smirk spread to a grin as everyone in the room turned to look at the three standing at the other end of the room. "I misst my bruder's firsd kiss again!" As Ludwig snorted and everyone else laughed, Matthew realized it was a point of Gilbert's personality he wouldn't change even if he could. He nearly laughed to himself when Alfred made a face. It seemed his best of friends were always the most selfish of people, his brother, Gilbert, Lovino…
Best of friends… When had he even been able to say he had friends? He had a friend, Cuba, and he had a brother. That single friend often mistook him for his brother too. England and France were parents and only paid attention when a catastrophe struck… America and Prussia had since left his sides, going about other business… But he couldn't help a smile.
"Hey, Gilbert, look here for a minute."
"Hm? Vhat?" There was the sound of something hard meeting someone's face and a loud thud. Matthew was yanked out of his reveries and back to the real world.
"That's for beating up on Mathieu like that! I'll get you worse later so consider that an appetizer!" Gilbert was on the floor, Francis stalking away to the basement as everyone stared. It had been his father; he had every right to punch his friend, Hell they were friends themselves. The new mark on Prussia's face looked like it hurt. Once again he was not aware of anything until Prussia passed him by in the hallway, grinning madly. Matthew jumped as Gilbert tousled his hair and kept going down the hallway. Whatever the Prussian had planned, he was sure Ludwig was not going to enjoy it.
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"Hey, Maddie!"
"Hey, Gil." Matthew greeted the very drunk Gilbert that had two lovelies draped around him. He sighed and looked back down to his can of beer as Gilbert dished out more of his slightly offensive pick-up lines to the girls on him.
"Vhy don'd you two goh ged yourschelfs schome more bier, okay? I neet to talk to my buddy hier." The blonde blinked as the girls agreed and Prussia hopped over the back of the loveseat to sit next to him. "Vash ischt de problem mein freund? You look schat." Usually, Canada had no problem understanding drunk people and he had no trouble understanding German accents… But mixing the two… He had to guess what his friend had said.
"It's nothing really… Kind of stupid that I'm still moping over the whole thing with Romano… Does your face feel okay?"
"Ach! I'm fine! I know how to take a punch!" Gilbert responded with a big grin, his red eyes twinkling with merriment. "Bud schtop dinking aboud dat Romano guy, he's nod importand." He chuckled and nodded as if it were the smartest thing he had ever said. Matthew sighed again and patted his friend's shoulder. The man was drunk and therefore probably wouldn't understand it if he got angry at him for disregarding his feelings. Hell, the man didn't seem to fully respect his feelings even when he was sober.
"He's important to me, Gil. Uwah!" Gilbert pulled the small blonde against his chest, grinning widely down at him. For a second, Matthew swore that those ruby eyes were plotting something, he swore that sly gleam in them didn't reflect the same drunkenness that the rest of the albino's body did…
"Schlay, do you hev a mirror in your pock'ed? Becausch I can scho schee myschelv in your pands." Canada's face lit up brighter than a Christmas-tree light as the man heartily slapped him on the back in a merry manner. Nope, nothing much else beyond the usual Prussia was going on behind those windows to the soul.
"W-W-What?! Giiil!" The Prussian threw his head back at the reaction and Matthew hid his face in his chest. From where he was, he could hear Prussia's heartbeat, it was frantic and hammering, what did he have to be nervous about? After some thought, he decided it was the work of alcohol, this man behaved this way when sober anyway. "Can't you pick a better time to tease me?" He mumbled against the fabric of Gilbert's shirt.
"Vhat better time to try und pick up somevon dan vhen dey neet some cheering up?" This was rather embarrassing…
"There are better times, man. But…" Matthew took a deep breath, wrapping his arms around the man he was leaning on. Gilbert looked down at him, perplexed by the sudden and very fierce hug. "What would you do if I told you that… I can too?" Now, Gilbert really was drunk, his brain groped for some idea of what the fuck he meant by that very vague statement.
"You cahn vhat?"
"S-See you, i-in…" Hopefully he'd given the Prussian enough of a clue because he was not saying the rest. It was too embarrassing, on top of the fact that if he did indeed understand what he had said… And was in actuality totally straight…
"In your… Pands? Uhh…"
"Ah-I'm sorry!" Matthew shot up to sit straight, he couldn't believe that he'd said that. Gilbert was his best friend h-he couldn't expect him to… The Canadian cut off his train of thought and stood to leave. "I'll! You, leave alone! Okay?! J-Just for-uh, get! That's it! That-er, ever happened! Eh?!" Just as he turned to leave, he felt his wrist enclosed in the vice-like grip of Gilbert's gloved hand.
"Sid down, it's fine." Matthew then found himself sitting in Gilbert's lap, arms wrapped protectively around his waist.
"G-Gil, are you sure you're-"
"I'm nefer soh drunk dat I forged vhat I vant."
"Ne-"
"Nefer." Matthew looked around at some of the people staring, quickly he looked away, his right hand groping for its mate that was on his stomach. The gloved hand responded by twining its fingers loosely with the nervous digits, the thumb lightly caressing the side of one of them.
"G-Gil, w-why're you-"
"Becausch. I don'd neet any oder reason."
"If you expect to get very far with me you do." Matthew snorted, kicking his friend's shin. His face turned red when Gilbert laughed and tightened his grip on him.
"Dat's vhy I like you Maddie. Scho much schpunk. Vhat do you schlay ve goh fint a room und dry oud your Chrischdmas preschend?"
"M-M-M-My what?!" Gilbert produced something from his left pocket and dropped it unceremoniously on the boy's lap, his stomach convulsing with laughter.
"Dis schoult be fery vamiliar to you, callid a French ledder." Yes, Canada was very familiar with these, he had received them along with many letters he received from his father as a joke. "Scho, vant to goh-"
"No." Matthew chuckled, picking up the condom and slipping it into his wallet for later use.
"Bud, v-"
"Because you're drunk. And, uhm… I'm not comfortable with that…" The albino snorted.
"Und v-" Matthew gripped the hand twined with his harder.
"B-because that's a big step… Unless you plan this to be a-"
"Nefer. Who voult vant jus' von nighd vid you?" The small Canadian felt his face on fire as the Prussian pressed his lips softly against the back of his neck.
"Ah, a lot of people."
"Dey vere schtupit."
Matthew sighed in a dreamy way as he laid in bed next to the Prussian. At around eleven-thirty last night the man had passed out, presumably from laughing so hard. Certain noises had been emanating from the hallway in which Germany and Italy disappeared into a little after eleven. He rolled over onto his side to enjoy a nice view of the man's back, he had a pillow pulled over his head. In actuality, Gilbert was probably awake and suffering from one of his hangovers that kept him from going too far from wherever it had been he chose to pass out.
"H-Hey… Gil?" An angry growl emanated from underneath the pillow as the albino flipped himself over to look at Matthew. The pillow barely lifted, the room was still vaguely dark, but the red eyes beneath the pillow seemed to glow in fury. Matthew yelped and inched back away from the owner of the eyes should a repeat of just the other day occur. The other sat up and groped his pocket for something, his eyes shut tight, all his muscles were tensed as if he were holding something back. His eyes opened again and honed in on the nearly-shaking blonde next to him. He gritted his teeth, his brow as furrowed as it could get before he grabbed his pillow and seemed to scream as loud as he could into it.
"Scheiße!" Other very colorful (and equally unknown to Matthew) curses and images spewed forth into the pillow. Slowly, Matthew got himself from bed, afraid the other would consider hitting him should he lay eyes upon him again. "Vhere ahre you going?" Prussia growled, causing Canada to stop in his tracks.
"N-Nowhere…" Canada vaguely whimpered as Prussia shifted his face in his pillow to look at him.
"Ahre you scare't of me?"
"A-A little…"
"Fuck, my stomach." The albino resumed his previous state of his face buried within the pillow. He didn't speak, he just sat there. What was he thinking about? Was he thinking about what he said last night? Did he regret it? Is that why he was so angry this morning?
No… He's always honest when he's drunk. The man doesn't know how to lie when he's that drunk… Deciding that his irritation was more about the raging headache than anything else, "I'll be right back." There was no more than a confirmatory growl from the other as Matthew slipped from the room into the adjacent bathroom. Most likely this had used to be Gilbert's bathroom judging by some of the stains someone had obviously tried to get out of the wall (and ceiling). Try as he might to not think about what could have caused some of them, he couldn't help but be rather disgusted by the man. He headed straight for the bathroom cabinet and looked through it, picking out some pain medications that were still in there. There were also some small plastic cups within the cabinet, he took one out and filled it up with water from the sink after shaking two of the pills out into the palm of his hand.
By the time he was back out in the bedroom, Gilbert had managed to get up and start for the door.
"Wait, Gil, take these." Matthew walked up to him as the albino stopped to regard him.
"Vhat ist es?" Gilbert shook his head once. "It. Vhat ist it."
"For your head." Matthew offered the cup and pills.
"Noh danks." The albino turned to leave the room again, half-way to the door.
"Oh no, you are taking these." Matthew grabbed the man's arm, he was still in perfect shape after last night.
"Ged ovf me! I tolt you I'm fine!" He winced back as Prussia stormed out of the room and away from him, quickly tomping down the stairs. Probably, if not already, he had woken Germany up with that. Hell, he could have very well woken America and Japan up down in the basement. Matthew chased him down the stairs and into the main hallway of bedrooms, past Germany's. He was pretty sure he saw the man sitting up and staring at them as they past.
"You have to have a headache though!"
"Since vhen hev you care't? I doughd you schtoot by dat hangofers ahre my own fauld…" The Prussian spat in a most unbecoming way.
"Well, they are, and I do care, I usually offer you pills. Well, used to anyway." Matthew snorted at him, his face screwing up slightly. He couldn't understand Gilbert's bad mood after last night. Sure, yes, he was hung over and apparently his stomach was bothering him (probably he was just hungry), but they were… Were they a couple now? Vaguely, Matthew pondered this in back of his mind.
"Vell, I don'd vant dem dis morning. I jus' neet pancakes." Okay, the blonde had had enough of his attitude this morning and if they were indeed a couple now, he had the right to be upset.
"Gilbert! You will take these stupid pills now or I will not make you pancakes!" Matthew yelled in his own way as his yelling could not technically be called yelling thanks to his light voice. Gilbert's eyes lit up with anger and frustration once again.
"I cah-"
"You know as well as I do, you-" Matthew cut him off.
"If I-" Gilbert was the one to do the cutting off this time.
"It doesn't-"
"I'll sch-"
"Oh, no you won't! Ger-" Neither of them had yet to think about how odd their back and forth was
"Led him! I cahn-"
"Those bruises on your face say otherwise!" Matthew managed to win the out-guessing game once again. The other groaned and crossed his arms over his chest, a look of plotting and acceptance on his face. In truth, the blonde didn't trust those eyes at all, but, hopefully, they meant the albino would at least swallow the pills.
"Fine, fine, I'll take de damn pills." Gilbert held out his hand as Matthew gave a relieved sigh and handed him both the pills and the cup of water. The albino threw back his head, throwing the pills over it to the floor and dumping the water on the other's head. Matthew squealed in surprise and backed up as Prussia threw his head back laughing.
"Gilbert!" His suddenly higher voice angrily screamed as the albino's laugher intensified. "Urgh! What is your problem this morning?!" All at once, the humor was gone from the albino's voice and he looked at the Canadian squarely.
"I'm hungofer, dat's vhat!" He growled, stabbing Canada's shoulder with a finger. Canada took a step back.
"You never act like this!"
"I cahn'd fucking remember vhat happent lasd nighd! Don'd I hev a righd to be angry?! De contom in my pock'ed is gone und I voke up vid you!" That struck deep in Matthew's chest, an angry, hot wound opening in his heart.
What's so bad about waking up with me…? Now he had to push back tears when he regarded Gilbert again, making sure there was not a shake to his voice. He was quite the effective liar after all. "You woke up next to me in nothing, but your underwear, naked one time, not even a week ago and you didn't act like this." There's a limit to what even Gilbert can remember about me. Never forget that you are not worth remembering. You're not worth the trouble.
"Voult you hev preverrt it if I molesdet you firsd ding in de morning." The albino hissed as the Canadian kept up his act.
"No!" Maybe. "I just think that…" He sighed and looked away, the tear in his heart beginning to bleed. "You don't remember anything?"
"Nope." Somewhere within his red eyes, Matthew could have sworn that he saw something similar to pity, but there would be no reason for pity if he didn't remember. He decided in the end it wasn't there. Sighing quietly to himself he walked over to where the two pills had landed and picked them up, thankful that they hadn't rolled off too far.
"Okay, please Gil?" He offered them out in his hand, his voice weak. "Take these for your headache?" The albino gave him a contemplative stare before deciding to take them and swallow them dry. "Thank you." Canada sighed and looked away from him again. You're not worth the trouble.
"No prob… Vhat's de madder?"
"Nothing." Matthew looked to him then with a small, fake smile. "Want those pancakes?" Gilbert frowned, looking him up and down, seemingly taking in his emotional state.
"Cahn I ahtleasd help make dem?" He decided to ask after the Canadian gave him an odd look.
"Yeah, I guess… You can go see if Germany and Italy want any. I know they're awake." Nearly he gave into an urge that would not be well-received but his body seemed to need it so bad, a kiss would have him glared at and hated. Didn't he say that he was never so drunk that he forgot what he wanted? Does that mean he still wants me? So why doesn't he do anything?
"Gif me an acdual smile und I vill." So he had noticed. That in itself was more than enough reason to smile, which he managed to. Gilbert himself smiled back, placing a hand in the blonde hair and causing Matthew to wince away from him. The last time Gilbert had touched his hair in such a way it had been to yank on it and cause him pain. "Vell, I'll goh ged dem." He said, withdrawing the hand and turning to head for his brother's room.
Damn, he noticed… Of course he had though. He had noticed the fake ring in his smile earlier, it was only logical for him to notice something as obvious as a wince. As Matthew walked into the somewhat disorganized kitchen (someone had been nice enough to clean up slightly before leaving last night, most likely England and France) and looked about. He ignored the conversation going on between the irritated brother and Gilbert as best he could but it was rather entertaining.
"You dit dat on purpose you damnt perferd!" Germany's voice boomed as Matthew pulled out a mixing bowl along with some ingredients from the pantry.
"Oh? Dit I?" There was a pause. "I'll tell Maddew you guys vant some." Another pause. "Vere you impresst?"
"Very!" Italy's cheery voice rang out and there was raucous laughter as Prussia's running footfalls headed for the kitchen. Another smile and a light chuckle, the morning was still terrible despite the comedic efforts of Gilbert.
"Dit you hear dem?" By now Matthew had managed to have a fair amount of batter in the bowl.
"Yeah. Is it your goal in life to just annoy your little brother?"
"Of course it ist!" Gilbert declared with a happy grin, despite the fact all the raising of his voice this morning probably hurt his head even more. "I'm his big bruder." Matthew was then acutely aware of the fact Gilbert was leaning over his shoulder, his mouth dangerously close to his ear, his warm breath brushed against his neck.
"Uhm, can I please have some space, Gil?"
"You'fe nefer mintet bevore vhen I schtoot dis close."
"You smell like alcohol." The Canadian weakly excused, though it certainly was a valid observation.
"Schtill?!"
"Go take a shower and your pancakes will be done when you're out, okay?" He began to heat up the pan.
"Bud dey ahre besd jus oud of de pan." His love whined in a somewhat childish way.
"Gilbert… You showering will do us both a lot of good."
"Ahre you saying I schmell bat?"
"Yep."
"How rute." Matthew snorted and poured some of the batter into the pan.
"Says a person that will get pissed if you look at him weird." He punctuated this with a playful stare and sticking his tongue out. His breath caught in his throat and he backed away as Gilbert leaned in to be nose to nose with him. Surely this was what a true heart attack felt like as it seemed that the organ wished to leap right out of his chest. There was a deep and somewhat menacing "kesesese" from Gilbert as he leaned his lips in and kissed the tongue Matthew had stupidly left out of his mouth. Matthew gasped and Gilbert smirked as he leaned back out.
"Fag." He laughed as the Canadian's face turned a bright and angry red.
"Get away from me!" The wooden (and batter laden) stirring spoon came down on Gilbert's head, making him reel back in surprise and hold his already abused cranium. "I don't care if Papa or Alfred or even Arthur beat you up!" In the back of his mind, he realized how lucky he was that the only place the batter on the spoon had landed was on Gilbert.
"Okay, okay! I von'd do it again. Chrisd, take a joke somedime vhy don'd you?"
"I take damn jokes from you all the damn time, eh! I'm at my damn limit at this point! Go! Take your shower!" He advanced on him again, holding the snapped spoon high above his head, causing Gilbert to literally bolt from the room and down the hallway all the way upstairs to the bathroom of his old bedroom. The blonde made an angry noise of frustration, stomping his foot.
"Broke my schpoon I see." Matthew jumped and regarded the German with unease.
"Uh-uh… I'm sorry. I'll buy you a new one!" He frantically apologized as Germany just waved to calm him down.
"It's alrighd. It happens ahll de time vhenefer Osten ist in de haus. Noding to apologize for." Was there a reason people didn't seem to like Germany that much? He was kinder than most people made him out to be. "Bud, I vill ahsk you, dat if you mess up dis kidchen anymore dan it ist alreaty messt up, dat you clean de whole ding yourselv."
"Of course, Germany." There was silence as Matthew tossed the spoon into the garbage and flipped the bubbling pancakes over in the pan. Where the silence hadn't at first been tense, there now seemed to be something building up between the two. The blonde knew he felt a pair of eyes boring into his back, why did Germany stare at him so intently? Had he seen Gilbert and him last night? Was he curious as to where things now sat between them? Or was he merely uncomfortable with having a man he barely knew cooking in his already messy kitchen. "Uh-Uhm… Y-You know that my brother and Japan are down in the basement still, right?" An interested noise came from behind him from Germany.
"Vhat ahre dey doing down dere?"
"I guess uhm… Well, last night was…"
"Euh, ja, I know vhat you're saying." Matthew didn't have to look behind him to know that Germany was blushing. "I suppose I haven't wished you a merry Christmas yet have I? So I will now, merry Christmas Germany." Matthew flipped some of the pancakes onto a plate and walked over to him, sprinkling powdered sugar and maple syrup over them before sitting them in front of the taller blonde.
"Ueh, merry Christmas Canada." Nervously, it seemed, he poked the short stack with a fork. "My bruder lofs dese dings, bud I soh rarely hef tryt dem." The other in the room smiled widely. At least it was only half fake.
"Well, I can hope to change that. Ever want pancakes, let me know. I feel that sometimes they were the only reason Gilbert ever dropped by." He turned away, a frown replacing his smile again, Germany cut into the pancake stack and took a bite. His spirits lifted minutely as he heard an appreciative noise from the older one in the room. "You like them?" He poured two more into the pan and let them fry.
"Ja, dey ahre fery goot." A pregnant silence filled the space between them again, it got to the point where Matthew about screamed. He didn't of course, but he was getting close. The clink of a fork being placed on the table met his ears as he flipped the new pancakes onto a waiting plate. Vaguely he wondered where Italy was and Gilbert was taking his good time with his shower… Oh! Germany was saying something.
"I'm sorry, did you ask something Germany? I wasn't paying attention." The German rolled something in the back of his throat before looking back at him.
"About my bruder."
"Oh… What about him?"
"H… Ha…. Hmm…" Germany seemed very uncomfortable with what he was trying to ask, either way it must have been important if he was willing to bring it up. It was for this reason that Matthew was patient and waited. "How er… You're opfiously freunds vid my bruder, bud… Ist dat ahll?" The heartbeats hammering in his ears was distracting as he tried to answer Germany. Just as he was patient with the German so was he for the Canadian.
"I'm not really sure if that's your business Germany." He answered, swallowing and turning back to make more pancakes.
"Ah… I know bud… He ist my bruder und I voult jus like to know."
"Since when is Germany as nosy as Prussia?" Canada bit his tongue sharply, realizing he had no place to say that. With baited breath, he waited for Germany's reaction.
"He dit raise me. I dink its alvays been dere." The tall, blonde nation chuckled slightly, causing the tensed muscles in Matthew to relax. "Bud…" Germany tapped his fingers. "I saw you two lasd nighd, dit anyding happen?"
"No." The smaller blonde shook his head, plopping two new cakes on top of a plate. "Can you go get Italy? His pancakes are done." Germany was silent for a few moments, but in the end, he stood and walked from the room. Matthew heard him talking to Italy in his bedroom about two seconds later and he sighed. A few light footsteps were heard behind him, wonderingly he looked over his shoulder to see who it was that had settled down at the table. "Oh… Hi Japan." The Asian nation sat there and stared at him, a worried look coming over his face as he seemed to have misplaced some crucial piece of information. Matthew sighed. "I'm Canada."
"Gomenasai Kanada-san, I'm… Tired this morning."
"Is Alfred up yet?"
"N-No… Not yet. He stirr asreep."
"Figures."
"Do you want me to get him up?"
"It would help. Just tell him I'm making breakfast." Matthew paused to consider something. "On second thought, don't tell him that, just say I need him up here for something." If he told America that he was making breakfast he would just shove him away from the stove and attempt to take over. He certainly did have their father's flamboyant behavior.
"Okay." Japan rose and shuffled from the room. Had Germany forgotten he had made him pancakes or something? Did it really take this long to get the Italian out of bed?
"Italy! Ged oud of bett now! You vere avake earlier!" Well, then again, the man was getting over a life-threatening sickness still. There was some whining and more "encouragement" from Germany, but apparently he was unsuccessful at prying him out with any less force than the jaws of life. Which meant, since he assumed Germany did not have the jaws of life, Italy was staying in bed. He heard a sigh and heavy footfalls behind him.
"Didn't work?" Somebody pressed their chest against his back, making him jump they breathed on his neck, water dripping onto it. "Prussia… If you do not get off me now I do know how to use a spatula."
"Vhat ist de madder? You're soh defensife dis morning."
"Because you've been acting like a total ass for most of it."
"You nefer mintet bevore."
"Well you made me angry this morning, eh!"
"Dit I say someding lasd nighd?" The Canadian froze and Gilbert stood up straight off him. "Vhat dit I say?"
"Nothing you wouldn't regret. I'll spare you from hearing it." A strong hand suddenly gripped his shoulder and the blonde had to stop himself from cowering away from it.
"Matthew, vhat. Dit. I. Schay." The growl in his voice, the angry slur… His head started to throb, his ribs ached and he could feel the blood drain from his face as his heart sped up, a cold sweat settling on his forehead.
"G-Gilbert, please l-let go."
"Vas vhat I sait dat bat? Ahre you crying?" Canada felt Prussia gently tug him backwards towards him by his shoulder, he felt something inside of him snap at the same time.
"Let go of me!" Gilbert balked and released him at the shrill shriek for release. Suddenly the house was alive with the sound of heavy footfalls as Germany and America were the first of the four not currently present to enter the room. America froze as Gilbert, wearing only a towel, stared dumbfounded at the fragile-appearing Canadian cowering away from him in the corner of the kitchen counter. The Prussian looked over his shoulder for a second and a fist met his face with surprising force, knocking him back onto the stove, his hand landing in the hot pan.
"Scheiße!" He yelped as America left him to tend to his brother, he was quickly replaced by Germany hefting him up over his shoulder as easily as he would a child. "Pud me down!" Prussia attempted to squirm but the younger ignored him and carried him, thrashing and punching all the way. Japan and Italy could do little more than watch as Germany threw open the basement door and threw the ex-nation down the stairs, following after him a moment later. The door slammed and nearly caused the entire house to shake.
"It's alright Mattie, what did 'e do t'you?" Alfred squatted down in front of his crying little brother, putting a careful hand upon his head. The other did little more than sob, remove his glasses and move to embrace him around his mid-section, knocking him back and to the floor. "Did he try t'beat you up again?!" Fiercely, Matthew shook his head, rubbing his tears into Alfred's shirt. "Then why are y'cryin'?" Matthew's hands fisted in the back of Alfred's shirt and he buried his face even deeper into the elder's stomach. "Oh…" The American didn't completely understand, he knew he didn't, but what he did know was that Matthew did not want to blame Gilbert for his behavior. Even if Gilbert's previous behavior a few days ago was what was causing his distress. "Do y'want t'go home?" He carefully stroked his little brother's hair, the other's grip on him increased. His hand stopped its petting and moved to rest on his back, Matthew relaxed a little bit.
Sniffling, Matthew managed to look up and put his glasses on, he nodded, his voice seeming to fail him.
"Okay." Alfred said softly as he stood and gently helped Matthew to his feet.
Down in Germany's basement, Ludwig locked the door to the back room with both the brothers in it, positioning a chair in front of the door and sitting down in it.
"Okay, vhat happent?" Prussia cracked his neck a few times, giving his brother an angry stare.
"Dit you hev to drow me down de schtairs?"
"Ja." Gilbert snorted and rolled his shoulder a few times for good measure.
"I don'd know vhat I dit."
"Don'd try lying to me bruder, I'fe hat to lif vid you for centuries. I coult tell vhen you vere lying efen during de nine hunderts und you broughd up nod efen days ago dat I barely rememper anyding from den." He frowned as Gilbert snorted again with no humor at all, rubbing his burnt palm. "America seemt pisst aboud someding lasd nighd, und England along vid France. Vhat dit you do?"
"I bead up Canada. Dat's ahll."
"'Dat's ahll'?!" Germany yelled, jumping up from his seat. "You bead up Canada?! De same Canada dat you claim ist your freund?! De Canada dat hes Englant und America for family?! If dey feel like it I cahn'd prodecd you if dey try to kill you bruder!" He paused as Prussia looked away from him, a glare on his face and his jaw clenched. "De Canada dat you ver flirding vid lasd nighd."
"Schud up Westen." That confirmed Germany's earlier suspicions that Gilbert was lying to Matthew about not remembering anything… His pride, simply, was too large for him to admit anything important to anybody when he was sober. How convenient for him that when the occasional piece of important information slipped out he could always cover with he didn't remember anything. This was the most untrue piece of bullshit Germany had ever heard. Prussia always remembered the morning after, always his recollection would be fuzzy at first, but he had one of the strongest abilities to remember everything about anything of anyone he had ever met.
"Vhy cahn you only admid dings vhen you ahre drunk?" His older brother remained silent, not looking at him. "De leasd you cahn do ist acd like a man und look aht me." Gilbert obliged and looked straight at him, not the least bit afraid of what his eyes might betray. Germany sighed and looked away at what he saw there. "You regred someding? Hurding him righd?" Prussia didn't speak. "Do you lof him?" The red-eyed glare did not waver, it did not show shame and did not portray the sickness Prussia had felt at the realization that he did love Matthew. "I see… Den vhy ahre you… Ahs you pud it a few days ago, acding schtupit?"
"You voult know."
"Vhat's dat s'post to mean? I vantet to admid it vhen I knew…"
"I'm dif'rnd." He sighed and ruffled his silver hair. "I vas angry vhen I fount oud he kitnappt Italy soh I bead him up. I callt America soh he ditn'd die--"
"He coult hev die't?!" Prussia gave him a pointed glare to shut up while he was speaking. He was giving this ignorant man a run-down from his awesome perspective and he had the nerve to interrupt him?!
"Anyvay, I guess dat… He hat a similar experience to vhat I ust to vid Russia… I vas gedding angry und I vas touching him…" He shrugged. "Provably he von'd led me fisid, und efen if he approofs America vill try to ged ihn de vay." Germany was surprised by his brother's odd level of maturity concerning this matter, but it was about his own happiness, it concerned him, so therefore it was something to be serious about.
There was a knock at the door.
"Who ist it?" Ludwig asked, looking behind him.
"Nihon." Came the Japanese man's voice from the other side of the door.
"Oh, Japan, vhat ist it?"
"Amerika-san left with Kanada-san I'rr be reaving too just so you know." Germany ignored the snort that came from his brother on the other side of the room.
"Oh… Okay… Goot-bye den I guess. Merry Chrisdmas."
"Merry Christmas Doitsu-san." Footsteps receded down the hall and Germany turned to regard his brother once more.
"Vhat ahre you going to do?" He crossed his arms over his chest, not sure of what else to do with them. His brother seemed busy in examining the fibers of the towel around his waist, but not without thought clear on his face.
"I dink I hev to apologize."
"Cahn you do dat?"
"I vas aple to bevore." Gilbert looked up then, a warm look in his eyes; Ludwig could guess he hadn't seen that light behind his eyes since the day he had grown taller than his brother. No, it wasn't that Gilbert was bitter at Germany for becoming more powerful than him, it was more that he knew Germany no longer needed a guardian and could function fully without him. He had no need for his brother to be his father and they stood upon equal grounds, if not Germany even above him. What it was was that he was a man that, despite all he said, wanted to be needed by someone. He knew he was a vestigial piece of the world that no one needed to care about. Germany could have left him be the insane wreck that he was or Canada could have abandoned him that day in November and no one would be affected by it… But yet he survived two dissolutions, forty years of torture, all those years as an emotionless hooligan to end up where he was now. In all that time, if he were not needed, he still had a small effect on the world and for the past twenty years, he didn't have that. It had been eating at him, biting at his throat and threatening to choke him; a strong front was easy when even you believed your own lies. I hate lying… I want you Matthew. But he had found the reason why he survived, found the person he had been waiting for and never even knew it… Yeah, and you fucked up pretty bad.
"Osten, I dink you schoult ged dresst und dink of a vay to fix dis. It ist Chrisdmas avder ahll."
"Ja, I vill." Gilbert stood and smoothed down his towel, a wicked smirk coming to his face. Ludwig picked up the chair he had been sitting in and moved it aside from the door, giving the albino a suspicious look.
"Vhat ahre you dinking?" He asked with narrowed eyes.
"I ahm awesome." The blonde humored him with a nod and turned to leave the room, being shoved from the way before he could even get through the door by his butt-naked brother.
"Pud your towvel back on!"
---
Why did you do that? Matthew asked himself as he lay in bed, curled up beneath his warm sheets. A sigh escaped him as he heard his brother tomping up the stairs, probably baring some strange gift. There was a light knock and he groaned for him to go away.
"But I made it myself!" Alfred whined, knocking on the door again.
"I don't want a hamburger and if you say it's not a hamburger then you can't cook!"
"Aw, c'mon Mattie!"
"Alfred, please go away. Or… Wait, you can get me some milk!" The stuff in the pitcher of his fridge must be half-way to cheese by now. Disgusting thought of the day… His face screwed up and he made a note to ask Alfred to clean his fridge when he got back.
"Milk? Okay, I can do that!"
"And actually get it from one of my stores!"
"Why?! Your milk is weird!"
"What's weird about bagged milk?!"
"It just is okay?!"
"Please, bagged milk."
"Oookaaay!" Matthew smiled as he heard his brother walking away from the door and clomping down the stairs and eventually out the front door. He sighed again as he realized he was now alone in the house.
"Dammit Gilbert." You just had to touch me didn't you? You had to beat me up for… For… Okay, maybe I deserved that but… Another sigh and he sat up, petting Kumajirou's head. Sitting in bed wasn't helping anything and if anything, it just served to make him antsy. He had calmed down as soon as they left Germany so he was currently of completely stable mind. Fervently though, did he wish for one of his cookies. It would be cruel to make Al clean up my fridge. With that thought in mind, he pushed himself from bed.
"Are you okay?" Matthew looked down to the slightly concerned bear and gave him a gentle pat.
"Of course. It was just a little spat with Gilbert."
"You two are a like a married couple sometimes."
"W-W-What, eh?!" Kumajirou tipped his head to the side and looked Canada up and down again.
"Who are you again?" The blonde deflated immediately and patted his head again.
"I'm Canada." He shuffled from the room then, leaving the white fuzz-ball to stare after him as he left.
"Ew…" Matthew examined the chunky milk in the glass pitcher before managing to pour it out and stuff the chunks down his drain. He wasn't sure if he'd ever seen such disgusting milk in a pitcher in all his life. That seems oddly specific… Shrugging, he filled up the container with hot water and soap, getting out a scrub brush to help the sanitizing along. He jumped as the front door opened and closed out in the hallway. "Damn Al! Scared me half to death! That was pretty quick, where did you go?" A strangled noise escaped him when he looked over his shoulder, scrub brush scrubbing away in his hands, and witnessed the albino standing in the doorframe of his kitchen.
"You seem heppy to see me." Gilbert said with sarcasm, an eyebrow climbing up his forehead.
"How did you get in?"
"Vhy do you schtill ahsk dat qvesdion?"
"Well…" Why was he acting like this? It was Gilbert just being his normal self. "Look, about today at Germany's… I'm really sorry about it okay?" Surely that was all Gilbert was here for, well, that and maybe some pancakes if Matthew could be persuaded to make some.
"Acdually…" Gilbert stopped leaning on the doorframe and carefully paced towards him with steady but firm movements. He did not wish to set the boy off again, if he knew anything about flashbacks, they were very real to the person experiencing them. The scars on his back, chest and over his upper arms burned at the mere thought of such flashbacks. "I'fe come hier for dat reason."
"For what reason?" Matthew tipped his head to the side, putting the pitcher down but keeping the scrub brush in hand. Really, he wasn't sure why he hadn't put it down, it wasn't like Gilbert had intentions of hurting him. No, under normal circumstances never would he try to hurt him… But after the other day… It was a natural reaction to want to be prepared.
"I vant to… To… Appa… Aaaaap… Appapppapal…."
"Apologize?"
"Ja! Dat's it!" A big grin spread over the albino's face.
"Wow, two apologies from you in the same week, I'm impressed Gilbert."
"Ja, vell, you know how I do." Gilbert studied his gloved nails in a conceited way and rubbed them on his uniform. He was wearing his uniform? Canada wondered slightly why he would be, maybe it was just the only thing he had laying around. Gilbert was terrible when it came to doing his laundry. "Bud uhm, I hev anoder reason for coming."
"Oh?" Matthew set down the brush into the sink and turned off the water, leaning on the counter and waiting for the albino. For a few seconds Gilbert seemed at a loss for something to say, he rubbed his stomach once, continuing to think. "Want some Pepto?"
"Some vhat?"
"You know, stuff for your stomach?" Gilbert looked down at his stomach and removed his hand from it, slipping it into his pocket.
"Nah, I'm fine…" An awkward silence settled over the room. Neither of the parties caring to move or break it. About a full two minutes of this lasted, both of them felt as if their hair were standing on end. "Okay, dammid!" Gilbert roared, making Matthew snatch up his scrub brush and back away from him. "Vhat de fuck?" He asked at the blonde's defensive posture. "Scare't of me again?" A smirk spread over Gilbert's face and an eyebrow rose.
"Why shouldn't I be? Somehow or another you managed to beat me to within an inch of my life not even a week ago. In my own nation to boot."
"Kesese, 'boot'."
"Oh, shut up." Suddenly Gilbert's face was serious again and he paced closer to the boy.
"I don'd vant you to be afrait of me dough." Was his face turning red?
"Do you have a fever Gil?" Matthew rose a hand to the red-eyed (and faced) man's forehead.
"Noh, I know exacdly vhat I'm doing." That sent a little red flag up in Matthew's subconscious.
Uh-oh. He tried to back up and take his hand away, Gilbert simply caught it in his vice-like hand. "Gilbert let go!"
"Noh." He leaned in as the Canadian started to thrash and squirm away.
"Prussia, stop! You're hurting me, eh!"
"Noh I'm nod." And their lips met… It was barely anything at all, just a light brush. Another strangled noise issued from Matthew and he shoved the albino away with all his strength.
"What was that, eh?!" He said to his very confused counterpart, his entire face a ripe, cherry red.
"A kiss, vhat dit you dink it vas?" Gilbert replied with fresh irritation in his voice. The other just looked away from him, trying to process what in the Hell had just happened.
"You remember last night, don't you, eh?" The quiet anger in his voice was enough to make Gilbert take a few steps back from him.
"Soh vhat if I do…"
"You lied to me?!"
"Und I'm fixing it!"
"How is this fixing it, eh?!" His friend advanced on him again. "No! Stop right there!--"
"Don'd come any closer? Vhat if I vant to?"
"Then you don't care!" The look that came over the albino's face was one of pure astonishment. The look on Matthew's? Angered determination. Suddenly, something snapped and a completely new emotion reared its ugly head upon the Prussian's face.
"I don'd care?! I don'd fucking care?!" Matthew backed away from him as Gilbert advanced, fury blazing behind his glowing, red orbs. His back met the counter and he knew he was out of maneuvering space. So he reached for his pants pockets only to have the Prussian snatch both his wrists. "If I ditn'd care vhy de fuck voult I be hier?! Vhy voult I hev callt America to schave your lousy, lying arsch!? Vhy?!" The smaller looked away as spit flew into his face and brought back more flashbacks of Prussia's abuse. "To you fuckink realize I coult hev led you die?! To you fuckink know how much I vantet you to?! To you?! Cahn you efen fuckink anzwer me?!" Violently Gilbert shook him, forgetting to be gentle in his anger. His angry glare was broken as a sob met his ears. "M-Maddhew?" He almost squeaked. More sobs met his ears and he saw tears trail down Matthew's angelic face. Sighing with disappointment for himself he released the boy's wrists and wrapped his arms around him. "I'm sorry." He kissed his forehead and then his cheek, tasting the salty tears as he did. "I'm sorry… I…" Gilbert looked away. "I schoult leaf…"
"I don't believe you."
"Vhat?" The red eyes came to rest on Matthew once again, outrage still there. "Do I efer apologize for anyding if I don'd mean it?"
"This."
"You hef zum nerf you liddle vuss! I ahm fuckink zorry!"
"Prove it then!" Another chance to see Gilbert completely dumbfounded and at a loss for words. "Prove to me that you do care! That you are sorry, eh!"
"Alrighd den." And their lips were smashed together, a hand pulling passionately at the back of Matthew's hair. Gilbert's tongue tried to invade the other's mouth, succeeding in only pressing Matthew's lips painfully against his teeth. Somehow, Matthew managed to break the kiss and give his counterpart a glare.
"What are you doing, eh?!"
"Proofink to you how I feel."
"By raping me?!"
"I vas hoping it voultn'd be."
"What?"
"I lof you Maddhew…"
"W… W-What?" It was almost cute, that frightened look on Matthew's face as he stared up at him. "Y-You… You can't… N-No not… Not me…"
"I do." He punctuated the statement (possibly his most important statement ever) with a sweet kiss and a light embrace. His fingers slipped Matthew's glasses off and rested them on the kitchen counter before he attempted to deepen the kiss. Once again, Matthew refused and broke it.
"Why?" He said in a weak voice, he sounded on the verge of tears again.
"Because you ahre you."
"But…" It was barely even a squeak.
"Vorts ahre cheap, cahn I schow you now?" Now the boy was shaking in Gilbert's arms, curling in on himself, it made him seem so small and fragile.
"I-I…"
"Please?" Shaking with tears in his eyes, Matthew looked up into the red eyes of the softly smiling albino.
"Y-Yes…" And they were kissing again, Matthew attempting to back away out of timidity and Gilbert following him. His tongue slipped gracefully across the man's lower lip, eliciting a reluctant whimper from him. "G-Gilbert?" Matthew squeaked against the larger man's lips, moving then as the lips slipped from his and began to nibble at his neck.
"I'm nod going to schtop."
"I'm n-not asking you to. It's just… This position is kind of painful." The albino stopped mid-bite to examine their position. His knee between Matthew's legs and the boy bent over backwards on the counter.
"Oh…" Suddenly a smirk came over his face as he picked the boy up and moved to the kitchen table, putting him down on it.
"What are you doing?!" In a single swift motion, Gilbert had Matthew on his back and himself upon the table. There was no other answer and Gilbert once again silenced him with his mouth, licking at Matthew's lower lip again. Another whimper of denial but Gilbert remained as persistent as ever.
"Pleeease?" He purred, grinding their hips together. A gasp escaped the one beneath him, he quickly snatched up the opportunity and filled the open space. At first there was no reaction but the partner tongue cowering away and Matthew trying to break the contact again. "Please, Matthew…" He asked, retracting his tongue and looking at the tearful man squarely.
Matthew couldn't bare to look at him, shame welled up in his breast and he looked away, shutting his eyes and pushing back a sob. He had wanted Gilbert… He had wanted this, but… What if just this was all that Gilbert wanted? And once he had it… Would he leave? Was he just a fuck to him? Gilbert had said that he loved him… So why hadn't it come out earlier? When he was sure he could believe him…
"Please look aht me." He sniffled and looked up to the pleading Prussian. "Do you nod vant to do dis?"
"N-No… It's not that I don't want to… I just…" He looked away again, biting his lip. Slowly, he took a deep breath and closed his eyes thoughtfully. There would only be one way to find out whether or not there was going to be something after this and that was to do it. "I thought you said you wouldn't stop?"
"Do you vant me to?"
"No."
"Den try opening your moud." Gilbert kissed him again, a bit more ferocity behind his lips, he was happy to find that Matthew was taking his advice and opening his mouth willingly to him. But there was still the task of getting that cowardly tongue within to react to him. "Kissing ist nod a schpecdador schpord Madchen."
"Did you just call me a girl?"
"Nope!"
"I can swear that you did."
"Less talk more action." Hungrily now, Gilbert's tongue twined with the submissive one's, the heat between them building. His mouth smothered a gasp from Matthew as his hands traveled beneath his shirt, his thumb and forefinger rolling a nipple between them. Matthew shuddered and gripped the back of Gilbert's head, tugging at his hair to get him closer. A dissatisfied noise escaped him as Gilbert's mouth forsook his and tended to his neck, trailing saliva down it with his tongue.
"Aah!" The man's teeth hurt! "G-Gil, that hurts." A growl ceased his complaints and his tongue snaked out to lick the offended area, another moan followed. This was repeated in at least three other locations over his neck, each causing a more enthusiastic reaction than the last. There must've been something not completely right going on in Matthew's brain at that time, because he truly was surprised when Gilbert's hand suddenly unzipped the fly of his very tight pants. "W-W-What are you doing?!" The albino gave him a very confused look as he unbelted and unzipped his own pants.
"Ahre you kitting me?"
"W-W-Well… I… I…" He was shaking again and biting his lip, looking away as the Prussian made quick work of both of their pants.
At this point, Gilbert was more than just annoyed with the blonde Canadian, hadn't he made it quite clear that this was not all he wanted? To be honest, he of all people was thinking about not doing it now. That was just how annoyed he was. Patience never had been his virtue and it was a hard one to learn indeed.
"Maddhew…" He started with a sigh. "Who ahm I?" Matthew could feel the irritation.
"I don't do this with my best friend every day, Gilbert." Now he was irritated.
"Vell den schtop dinking of me ahs your fuckin' besd freund!"
"That's a little bit hard!" He gasped at the white-haired man grasped him around his length.
"Apparendly more dan jus' a liddle." There was more stuttering, chuckling from Gilbert and a kiss.
"There's lube in the junk drawer." Matthew moaned into the kiss, Gilbert grinding both their lengths together.
"V-Vhat?!"
"My brother was here last time I bought it and I didn't want to risk him seeing it okay? Its been in there for about two years now and I never had a reason to move it."
"Two ye…"
"It's not what you think."
"Oh suuure it istn'd."
"Gilbert! I am laying half-naked on my kitchen table waiting to have sex with you! Please can you hurry it up!"
"Damn you ged demanting." Matthew whined in need and frustration, bucking their hips together. "Dat's more like it." Quickly Gilbert (looking quite funny in his military coat with no pants and a massive boner) walked over to the kitchen junk drawer and fished out the bottle of what he was looking for. "Does dis say schtrawberry flafort?" He quirked an eyebrow, smirking.
"How do you stand there and make jokes with a hard-on the size of Germany?!" Matthew complained, propping himself up on his elbows.
"Woah! Okay! Dit nod neet de image!"
"Please, you're not being very convincing at this point." Well that certainly got the reaction he was looking for as Gilbert opened the bottle and began to apply it to himself. He climbed up on top of the table again, kissing the boy as he did and pushing him back down to it. A gasp escaped the boy as a lubed finger inserted itself into him. Another soon joined it and then another.
The noises Matthew made only served to arouse the Prussian even more, hence there was little preamble as Gilbert removed his fingers and pressed inside of him. He however did have the courtesy to wait for a moment for the boy to get used to his size. Matthew reached up and twined his fingers into Gilbert's hair, pulling him down into a wet kiss.
As it turned out, Matthew was indeed a screamer. But that only made it ever the easier for Gilbert to pay attention to what he was supposed to be doing. There was nothing else to be heard, nothing else to be felt, nothing else to just be with than the small Canadian in which he was so enamored.
There was no way in Gilbert's mind to describe orgasm that had not been already used in some shitty romance novel. So difficult it was to properly describe the feeling that eventually he just settled upon a physical happening. It was blinding and it threw him into a darkness where the one he loved could be heard and felt so vividly that he did not need to see.
Matthew, it was less of a blinding darkness and more of a blinding light of white and vivid colors, each dancing in pure ecstasy just behind his clenched eyelids. Gilbert collapsed on top of him, each of them panting and clutching at one another. There was a sloppy kiss between the two and Matthew sighed against the albino's face.
"Gilbert…"
"Vhat?"
"You said that you… Do you?"
"Voult I hev sait it if I ditn'd mean it?"
"Yes." A small noise escaped him as Gilbert slowly extracted himself from the man next to him. Matthew tried his best not to think of the unpleasant feeling of liquids leaking out from between his thighs to his kitchen table. He also tried to forget about the sticky liquid on both their abdomens (and shirts) courtesy of him.
"Vell jus say I'm drunk den."
"But I don't want you to be…"
"You know vhat I'm trying to say."
"You can say it again…"
"Vhy? You alreaty know."
"Why won't you say it again?" The Canadian moved to look away from him, only to have his face caught by Gilbert's hand and gently moved back so his violet orbs met the glistening red ones.
"I lof you." Those three words sped the Canadian's heart up so fast he almost mistook it for a heart attack. Wait! He was supposed to respond!
"I-I l-love you too."
"I know." They shared another kiss but it was cut short as a painful reality came crashing down upon them, the front door had just opened and closed. "… Who ist dat?"
"… Alfred!?" Sadly, Matthew's yelling only made the American quicken his step to the kitchen…
"What's it?! What ha-…." The American's eyes must've grown to the size of grapefruits in their skull, his hands dropped the bag in his hand, milk spewing from it all over the floor. "Eeeew!" He yelped, turning from the room and running across the hall to bash his head into the wall there. "The kitchen table?!"
Never feeling more embarrassed in his life, Matthew buried his face into Gilbert's clothes, his face nearly purple.
"Oh come on America! It's nod like you'fe nefer seen Englant und France!" Apparently, Gilbert's voice was definitely not something America had wanted to hear, because he stomped right back into the kitchen and fixed him with a glare. If looks could kill… Matthew dared to look over his shoulder at his positively fuming brother.
"You did something didn't you!?" The American thrust an accusing finger at Gilbert. "You tricked him! Or-Or something!" An eyebrow rose and Gilbert looked down at his little lover who had gone back to hiding his face from his brother.
"Maddhew, dit I trick you indo heving sex vid me?"
"N-No."
"Und… Dit I schpill a bag full of milk on de floor a momend ago?"
"No…" Matthew sat up and looked over at Alfred as he began to storm into the room.
"I don't believe you!" America grasped his younger brother's arm, only to have it effortlessly smacked away. "What the--Matthew?!" The thinner blonde fixed his brother with a stare.
"Al, I'm sorry you had to see that and… No, Gilbert did not 'trick' me into having sex with him… I… I… Love him… So, uhm…."
"You love that thing!" Alfred made an angry gesture in Gilbert's direction, his accent becoming really pronounced.
"Hey! Vatch who you're callink a dink butty!" Gilbert sat up too at this point, somehow or another the effects of sex just moments ago being overridden by his irritable personality.
"Yes!" Matthew forcefully replied.
"How?! He's fuckin' dead! I won't allow this!" Alfred took a few steps back as Matthew stood up off the table. In actuality it was rather hard and somewhat painful for Matthew to stand with straight posture, but he was angry.
"You don't have a say in who I love, eh. And I love him…" He looked away for a moment, his face turning red. Swiftly, however, his embarrassment of being naked in his house and caught with all sorts of liquids on him passed. He was still angry at his brother. "Also! Something else! You broke my milk." He pointed down at the puddle of white America was standing in. "Go buy me more."
"No! If I'm doing anything it's--put the hockey stick away!" The American took a few steps back, holding up his hands in a defensive gesture.
"Al, please buy me some more milk. I need to mop this up." Matthew tiredly rested the hockey stick over his shoulder, his back and rear end complaining profusely about standing up.
Giving Gilbert one last angry look, America sighed and turned around to leave the house.
"Be back soon… Please, get dressed while I'm gone. I'm going t'need brain bleach fer this shit." Gilbert laughed once the door closed behind the American, Matthew only sighed and looked around for his mop.
"Ach! Seriously?! You're going to clean?!"
"You may be my lover Gilbert, but that doesn't change anything." His eyes traveled to the table the albino was now sitting up on. "I might just buy a new table."
"Oh c'mon, the stains give it character." Matthew chuckled and shook his head.
-----
No, it's not the end yet, lol, please, I intend to make this a habit, putting these little messages in the last chapter near the end. Anyway, so, NEWS FLASH, I NEED A BREAK! I know it seems like I take my time with things and I really don't mean to (From the moment I wrote the beginning note to now it's been about a week DX), trust me though, when I am not writing on my computer I have school work to do and I also write rough drafts of my various stories in notebooks, my elbow and just about all my other joints have enjoyed recently giving me trouble. Haha! I'm not even twenty yet and I'm getting old TT_TT So yes, like mentioned before, I intended to take a week (maybe two) break from ALL writing, so this means I have… Two other things to post today before my break is official. So hey, I present to you a pleasant parting gift to hold you over.
Many thanks to my friend JanesRedBottle as always. She keeps me sane sometimes and helps me much with German which I'm actually starting learn again. People who have commented all the way from start to finish, I love you all and you make my days bright. People who had not originally read Aftermath and went to read it anyway, I LOVE YOU too! Thank you for taking the initiative!
One last thing before Memory is completed! The very lovely ribonsnlace on Deviant Art (ribbonsandlace on FF) is turning this into a doujinshi! Check her out!
Okay! On with the last leg!
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Epilogue
About four months had passed since their impromptu love-making session in the kitchen and now Matthew was sitting across from Gilbert, hardly believing what the man had told him.
"Y-You want to what?"
"Vell, I figurt ve'fe been togeder long enough."
"Why?" As much as Matthew loved the man, them starting to live together was not very high on his list of good ideas. It was different when the man was in and out at all hours of the day, but there had to have been a distinct reason why Germany did not like the man living with him.
"Because I don'd like lifing in East Berlin! Ist it soh hart to unterschant dat?"
"But if you live here Gil… I thought you didn't like being outside of Germany…"
"I'm vid you, so it's okay." Gilbert looked the small man up and down for a few moments. "Do you nod vant me lifing hier?"
"It's not that. I just think it's weird…" I'll also have to clean about 110 percent more.
"I'm hier enough dat I coult lif hier, vhy ist making it official viert?" When Matthew gave no answer, it was clear that Gilbert had to bring out the big guns. "Do you nod lof me anymore?"
"What?!" The blonde jumped and looked at him, worry evident on his face. "Of course I still love you! What made you think that I didn't!?"
"Because you don'd vant to lif vid de awesome me!"
"Gil! I told you it's not that I don'd want to live with you it's that--"
"If you loft me you voult led me moof in!"
"Don't you start that now, eh!" Gilbert suddenly decided to change tactics and gave him a level stare.
"Dere's somevon else istn'd dere? Dat's vhy you don'd vant me lifing hier! Who ahre dey?!" He stood and pounded his hands on the table, making Matthew yelp.
"Th-There is no one else! I'm not like that!" Matthew stood too.
"I demant to know who! China?! Korea!? That Cuban bastard! Don'd tell me it's-"
"You can move in!" Suddenly the air of hostility over Gilbert totally evaporated and a grin broke out over his face. Damn…
"Kesesese, I knew you voult see dings my vay Maddie!" A quick peck on the cheek and Gilbert was gone, presumably to get his things from Berlin. The blonde sighed and slumped down in the chair he had been sitting in while eating his breakfast. Gilbert still continued to amaze him. And something inside him told him that he would never really stop being amazed by him. He was a surprisingly attentive lover, surprisingly mean at times and still surprisingly acted the same as he had before they were together. Nothing for them had actually changed other than there was definitely more sex in their lives. There always would be… He shivered.
"Hurry up und come to bett alreaty!" Gilbert grumbled from his place in Matthew's bed, it was about eleven so Alfred had already come and gone with Matthew's milk.
"Gil, I sorta don't want to have sex right now."
"Whoefer sait I dit." Woah! In that simple sentence Matthew was fairly sure Gilbert had just blown his mind. Prussia didn't want sex?! He must've died and gone to the twilight zone while in the kitchen. Yes, in order for Canada to get to the twilight zone, he would have to have died. A chuckle escaped him and he looked to the albino laying in his bed.
"I'll be there in a minute then."
"Vaid, you ditn'd like heving sex earlier?!"
"No, no! That's not it! I just don't want to do it now… Okay?"
"Ja, ja." Gilbert waved him off and just laid in bed, Matthew was sure he could see a smirk on his face. Sighing, at last Matthew climbed into the bed next to him. A squeak escaped him as Gilbert threw his arms around him and pulled him in closer. "Soh, time for you to answer me."
"What question did you ask?"
"I hevn'd ahskt it yed."
"Then ask."
"Do you vant to vake up nexd to me tomorrow?" What a weird question…
"Why wouldn't I?"
"Vhat aboud de day avder dat?"
"Sure, why?"
"Und dat?"
"Gilbert where are you going with this?"
"Do you want to wake up vid me alvays?" Matthew blinked at him, he was asking him…
"I uhm… I…" The other patiently waited while Matthew mulled the question over in his head. Gilbert was essentially offering to marry him. Not in those words of course, but he was offering him a life with him… Never being alone… He would always be there for him in his own Gilbert sort of way…
"Vell?"
"Well… Yes… I do…"
"Goot, 'cause I do too."
Now Matthew understood why Gilbert wanted to move in so badly. There were some mornings where they were in separate locations because of things they had to do, these times occurred more often than either of them liked.
"Hey! You coming or nod?" Gilbert poked his head into the room and gave him a look that quickly grew confused as Matthew only smiled at him. "Vhat?"
"I love you, Gil."
"Ja, ja, you too, now c'mon!" Matthew chuckled and got to his feet walking over to him and pecking him on the cheek.
"Will you always?"
"Und de mornings avder dat." A sweet kiss was passed between them and then another and another.
"We can do that later." Matthew chuckled, nuzzling his face into the man's white hair. A kesesese, met his ears and the man was tugging him by the wrist.
"De sooner I moof in!" The big handsome grin on his charming face still made Matthew's heart race in his chest. He clung tightly to the arm enthusiastically tugging him along with a big smile of his own on his face.
You are worth it, don't forget it. He will always remember you.
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Notes:
Gomenasai Kanada-san--I'm sorry Canada
Amerika-san--America
Doitsu-san--Germany
Bagged Milk--It's true, they really do sell milk in a bag in Canada XD
Madchen--This is actually accented "Mattchen". Chen (if I remember correctly) is a German diminutive, sorta a pet name I guess when added to names. Like Wasserchen (A slang for vodka with some people) means little water. It just so happened that Mattchen is pronounced Madchen by Gilbert because of his accent, coincidentally Mädchen is the German word for Girl, Madchen (without the umlaut) being the plural.
I think that was all… Oh my god though, last notes! D: So, what did everyone think? I'm not totally happy with the ending in all honesty but I like how their first time went. It seemed to me that Matthew wouldn't know what the Hell to do and would maybe even resist a bit XD
Okay, regarding my next project, uhm, originally it was going to be Red, White, and Black, but strangely enough (even after I deactivated it like three times) my poll remained active on my page and people wanted me to do Throwback instead (last I checked) so I will probably be doing that instead. But this is the slightest bit irritated since the first chapter of Red, White, and Black has already been written. Sigh, I dunno, it will be a surprise when I post one or the other. So haha! It could be more than obvious that I am excited about finally finishing this XD but yeah, I hope everyone enjoyed it, please review!