As you can see, my dears, I'm on a roll.

… I am jealous of JKR. I can't be jealous of myself, so clearly, I'm not JKR. Deal with it.

How to Survive James Potter for Dummies

Written and experienced by Lily Evans

Chapter 6: The Green Monster's Blade Part I

There was an awful lot of whispering going on at Hogwarts lately.

Lily Evans didn't like it. She was walking alone in the halls. The words bothered her: "James?" "Who?" "Are you kidding?" "I always thought..." "Not Evans?" "What about Lily?" They gave her strange, pitiful looks in the hallways. Some of them were snickers, embarrassed blushes... in a flurry of agitation, Lily rushed to Potions just as the bell was about to ring. She practically ran up to her seat beside Alice. Her eyes flashed to James, who sat a few tables away. He hadn't told her anything... you would think he would, considering they live together.

"Have you heard?" Alice breathed. Lily groaned. Alice knew, everyone knew! They all knew something about James that Lily didn't. That bothered Lily. They were close friends, and they lived together! She should know! She barely got to respond. Professor Slughorn burst into the dungeon, beaming as usual. Lily didn't have to listen. If she had to, she could teach the lesson. Amortentia... a review from last year. This wouldn't be too hard. Lily didn't have to think about it as she worked. Instead, her thoughts went to James.

Is he keeping something from me? Why? Lily was in distress, and it bothered her to think about why she was so anguished. Lily searched the previous conversations between her and James, for any significance. At the end of class, James practically bolted out of the classroom. Lily didn't miss the exchanged looks between Alice, Mary, Sirius, Remus, and Peter. What was going on? She rushed out of the classroom after James, searching through the crowd for his face. She saw the back of his head. He turned to his left. Lily could see the glee on his face... what was he looking at? His voice rang clear out of the chatter of the crowd:

"Hey, Emily!"

What?

Emily?

Emily Ackerley?

Emily Ackerley of the Ravenclaw Quidditch team?

What?

Why?

… What?

"Hey, James," Emily Ackerley greeted, grinning. Lily knew her. They were friends, sort of. She was a nice girl. She was friendly, and she had been a prefect. Emily was a Ravenclaw; Lily could trust she had good grades. Overall, Lily liked her. That suddenly changed. James gave her a smirk – that's my smirk, Lily thought agonizingly – and gave her a hug around the waist. Lily's eyes widened. That was too close for her own comfort. She ran. She ran past James, up the stairs. Another blow to her heart: he didn't call out to her, not even a questioning, "Lily?". Nothing. Her thoughts immediately went to what he did, when Severus and his friends had hurt her. She thought about that time he cried, asking if he had changed. She thought about his hand stroking her hair, and his sweet, gentle, soothing voice. She thought about his laugh, his arms around her body, encasing her, making her feel safe -

NO! The word rang clear and firmly in her mind. She was not thinking any of those things. Yet, his face was in his mind so clearly. Lily groaned out to the empty hallway. She was going ballistic.

After some more thinking, Lily had no answers. She didn't know what was wrong with her. She was not thinking rationally. It was a long time until Alice and Mary found her.

"Where were you after Potions?" Mary demanded.

"I -" Lily's voice broke.

"Lily?" Alice asked, concerned. "What's wrong?"

"Why do I feel like this?" she whispered, slouching against the wall of the corridor. She sank down, banging her forehead on her knee.

Alice and Mary bent down beside her. "Don't hurt yourself, Lil," said Alice, "come on. What's wrong?"

"James..."

"Are you jealous?" Mary demanded immediately. She wasn't going to lose her bet to Sirius Black. She and Remus bet a bit later during the year. If Lily was falling for him now, Mary was in trouble. She was broke.

"No!" Lily insisted immediately. "Definitely not."

Mary looked slightly relieved. "Then, what's wrong?"

Lily groaned, resuming banging her head on her knee. "I don't know!"

"Come on, you two, think about it," said Alice. "Seven years, in James' spotlight. Then suddenly, Emily Ackerley shoves Lily out of that spotlight and steps into it. Don't you think it makes sense, Lily? You're not jealous. You're just... worried, in a jealous way."

Lily laughed without humor. "Yeah... I'm thinking irrationally. We'll still be friends, right?" Without waiting for a response, she nodded once, leaped up, and said: "Yes. I'm going to my dorm. Thanks for your help, girls." Then, Lily was running again. She ran towards the dorm.

**

Emily is nice. :) I don't like it when James dates the sluts. I mean, if he likes Lily, then we have an idea of what his taste is, don't we? So, we're just going to have to find another way for them to get together, eh? ;)

I liked writing this chapter. :)

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