You know what the best thing to wake up to is? 22 emails, from , all of them notifications that I got reviews, that Dummies is getting a gazillion story alerts, I got favorite authors and author alert, even Picture Perfect and Wingardium Leviosa got favorited! Yay! I totally thought nobody was ever going to read those two again. It's quite lovely. Gives me a happy, fluffy feeling that makes me think: You know what? I'm going to update as soon as I can, because you all are made of awesome.

Nathpollen – Hehe, yes, me too. I'm glad you agree.

You're Just As Sane As I Am – Yeah! In chapter 6! -poke- Thank you :D

Fresh Water Plimpy – lol I already sent you a message. Why did I do that? I could have addressed you here. Geez. I'm stupid. I love your pen name, by the way!

xOCDxObsessiveCullenDisorderx – That's good! I guess. :P I'm kind of stalling them to get together. Shh.

RawrTwisted – Haha! Don't worry, that flattered me more than got me creeped out xD Thanks, I think.

By the way, I have a one-shot in the works. I need to stop writing James/Lily and get a Harry/Ginny out there... or maybe an Oliver/Katie. Hmm...

I'm torn between lying, saying I'm JKR, or telling the truth... that I'm not... tough decision. Wait a second, that's not tough at all! I'm not JKR!

(Can you see the decline in my wittiness?)

How to Survive James Potter for Dummies

Written and experienced by Lily Evans

Chapter 8: Torn and Confused

Torn

"Prongs, it's not even that big a deal -"

"- yeah, I mean, there are other fish in the sea -"

"There are better girls!"

Remus, Peter, and Sirius just continued to comfort James like this, who was sitting in the Head dormitory, lying on his bed staring at the ceiling. He moved his mouth to respond, but none of them would let him talk. James opened his lips:

Sirius burst out: "It's not like you two were actually serious, anyway!"

"Yes, that's you," said Remus and Peter tiredly.

James gave Sirius a glare. "I was going to say, I broke up with her."

Silence.

Remus said quietly, "You... what?"

"I don't know. I was thinking, sitting outside the changing room," said James slowly, sitting up, "why am I so desperate? Why would I want to date someone who is such a sore loser? I kind of felt guilty thinking that, you know, 'cause nobody's perfect. I thought that for a second, and then decided, whatever. I'm going to keep dating her. I wasn't... sure. When she went out of the changing room, and I just looked into her eyes, I just... 'We have to break up.'" James stared at the bottom of his bed for a second, then groaned and flopped back down. His eyes looked confused. He was still in his Quidditch robes. He did not look at all upset.

What James probably expected from his friends were: "You great, bloody, git!" or "Has your mind gone?" or "But why?!"

What he most certainly did not expect was silence. He looked at his friends' faces. They were curiously torn at what to say.

**

and Confused

"You know what?" Emily whispered.

"Yes, Emily?" asked Lily.

Emily smiled weakly, choking back a sob. Lily wished she didn't; she didn't like being around people who cried. Glancing at the expressions on Alice and Mary's faces, they didn't like it, either. The four of them were in the corner of the courtyard, Emily crying. The Gryffindors were doing their best to comfort her. Emily continued: "I need a Dummies book. You know, Lily?"

Lily nodded. To Alice and Mary, she explained, "Dummies books are like.. textbooks. They teach us stuff, like how to speak French, or something. There's a lot of them." Turning back to Emily, she asked, "What for, Em?"

"I need a Dummies book that tells me how to survive being James Potter's girlfriend," Emily announced. Lily choked back a laugh. Merlin, Lily thought, you think you need a Dummies book? Try living with him and surviving the James and Emily era at the same time. Regretting the bitter, (almost jealous) thought, Lily turned back to Emily, smiling.

"I'm really, really, sorry," Lily said helplessly, not knowing how to deal with another girl in this state. James was excellent at comforting girls. Lily wanted to slap herself. She thought to herself firmly, Stop thinking about James.

Emily shrugged. "It's not your fault." She smirked. "Have fun ignoring him tonight."

Alice and Mary probably looked as bewildered as Lily felt. Mary asked slowly, "Ignoring him?"

"Well, yes," Emily said easily, "you are going to give him the cold shoulder, at least? He broke up with me!"

Lily hesitated before responding. True, Emily was one of her close friends, but the only reason they were really close was because Emily was James' girlfriend. Lily liked her, and everything, but she wasn't exactly like Alice, or Mary. James, on the other hand, was one of Lily's genuine friends. Lily said gently, "He and I work together, Em. I can't ignore him." Frankly, Lily thought Emily was being silly. Ignoring one another was so elementary school.

Emily sighed. "I guess so. Thanks for everything, girls. I'll see you in the morning." Emily rushed off to the bathroom. Lily guessed that she could cry easier in private. Lily sighed, once Emily was out from earshot. Emily had shown her worse side, thanks to Quidditch. Lily left Alice and Mary to go to the Head dormitory. As she was about to say the password, the three other Marauders exited.

"How's he doing?" Lily immediately asked.

Remus said hurriedly: "Less upset than we expected." Lily thought she saw him nudge Sirius and give him a look when Lily had glanced a different direction. She gave them a suspicious expression. "Er – go talk to him, Lily. We'll see you tomorrow." Lily frowned, then entered the dormitory. She knocked on James' door reluctantly.

"James? It's Lily," Lily said.

"Come in! Since when do you knock on my door, Lily?" James' voice called out from inside. Lily walked into his bedroom. He was lying, long body sprawled all over his bed.

Lily smiled. "Hey. Emily thinks I'm ignoring you, so don't tell her I talked to you." James chuckled. He sat up, and patted the space on his bed in front of him. Lily sat across from him, hugging her legs. "You don't seem upset, James."

"I guess I'm not," James said with a shrug, "I am... sort of. Emily was way better than... like, say, Alessandra. Remember?"

Lily dug in her memory, and laughed. "The girl who cut her robes up to her butt cheeks, then got kicked out because of that? Yeah. I remember. Emily is definitely one of your best choices."

"Not quite up to the number one best James Potter girl choice," James said in a casual argument.

"Oh?" Lily asked, smiling again, "who's that?"

James laughed once more. "Never mind – Emily takes top spot. I thought you were intelligent, Lily. Intelligent enough, attractive enough, nice enough, to fit into my number one spot."

Lily blushed. "You don't still -"

"Of course not," James replied unblushingly. Lily was forced to believe he was telling the truth. Otherwise, he would look extremely embarrassed. She shoved aside the mysterious disappointed feeling sitting in her stomach, "but I was kidding – you were the best girl I ever fancied. Any man would be lucky to have you, Lily dear."

Lily nudged him gently. "I'm not that great. I haven't attracted many people. I've only been on so few dates in my life." James didn't respond. Lily asked, "Out of curiosity... what makes it fancied, not fancying?"

"Well," James began slowly, "I guess, I'm lying, sort of."

"Oh?"

"Yes. A little. I fancy you, sometimes, but I'm not going to try. You see, Lily, I've learned my lesson. You're beautiful, smart, caring, funny, and most of all, way out of my league," James said, "you deserve someone who has less arrogance."

Lily's smile grew into a small laugh. "Mm... I don't think so." James wasn't given any time to comprehend this. She crawled over and gave him a peck on the cheek. "You're an excellent friend, James," Lily said, finding that it took much effort to say that. Not bothering to ponder over the strain, she stood from his bed, and then left. "'Night."

She heard one last murmur: "Good night, Lily."