The next couple of days were uneventful. I could not force myself to return to school just yet, not ready to face the stares and insincere sympathy of my peers. News travels fast in small towns and by now I'm sure everyone knew some version of the story, the truth having been twisted and perverted by the gossip hounds of the small town.
Three members of the Cullen family were absent during my stay. Alice told me that Rosalie, Emmett, and Jasper had all gone on an extended camping trip and I felt guilty that the remaining members had stayed behind to care for me. Edward spent a lot of his free time with me, mostly on the piano, helping me learn new pieces and working on my technique. It felt good to sit close to him, and his presence soothed me. He gave me free reign over his collection of books and music since he was at school most of the day, and I spent many of those hours relaxing on the couch in his room listening to music while reading. Alice enjoyed fleshing out my wardrobe and I was pleased with most of what she had chosen. I still preferred comfortable skirts and soft tops, but yoga pants were becoming a fast new favorite. She was desperate for me to cut my hair and try something new, but it was my sticking point. I loved my long hair, and only consented to a trim. I made Esme stay in the room to make sure Alice kept her word.
Esme seemed to thoroughly enjoy my presence in the house, always cooking up something new for me, though the rest of the family hardly ever joined me in a meal. Sometimes Alice or Edward would sit with me, but I got the feeling that family meal time was not a priority in the house. I assumed everyone ate on the go, or grabbed something while they were out. Esme always made a fuss over me, never allowing me to clean or wash dishes. She insisted I needed a vacation and that I had spent enough of my young life keeping house.
Dr. Cullen spent a lot of time at the hospital, but he made time for me each day to discuss any information that been found, or to check on how I was doing. My social worker, Mrs. Warren, was looking for a family in Forks to take me on a permanent basis and Reverend Weber, Angela's father, was at the top of the list. I wasn't opposed to the prospect as I really liked Angela, but I had to take care of the bigger picture first. I had to find my mother. I wouldn't be able to move on until that was done. Dr. Cullen and my worker both wanted me to start going to counseling. The nightmares left me sleep deprived and I woke up screaming every time. I'm sure the family was ready for a decent night's sleep after three nights with me in the house. Edward was always there to sooth me when I woke and our late night chats were something I looked forward to. We had gotten to know each other a little more, and in those wee hours before dawn, I finally felt a connection to another human being that had been missing for most of my life. Talking with Edward was easy and comforting.
Finally, one week after I woke up in the hospital an orphan, Dr. Cullen came home with the news I had been waiting for. Edward stared at his father for a few minutes, as if he was reading something in his eyes, before scowling and taking off out the back door. Dr. Cullen asked me to join him in his office and I followed him up the stairs as Alice watched with a sad look on her face.
My palms were sweaty as I closed the door to his office behind me. I rubbed them on the thighs of my pants before taking a seat in front of his large desk. He opened his briefcase and slid a piece of paper and a picture across the desk to me. The picture looked like a surveillance shot of a woman who resembled my mother. She was walking out of a store, her expression worn. She had aged, but it was certainly my mother. An address was written on the piece of paper. They had found her.
I stared at the paper. Dr. Cullen stared at me, his elbows propped on the desk and his chin resting on his hands.
"So what do I do now?" I asked quietly.
"It's up to you Bella. You can try and get in contact with her if you'd like. They are ready to place you with Angela's family, and you can continue at the high school when you are ready. Maybe you can work out something with the Webers if you want to visit her. We'll be meeting with Mrs. Warren tomorrow to go over everything. You and Angela are friends, so it should be a good fit for you. We've enjoyed having you here, and you're welcome to visit any time of course. We will miss you."
I cleared my throat, shaking off the tears pricking at the corners of my eyes. "Yes, thank you so much for all your help in tracking down my mother, and for everything your family has done for me. You'll never know how much your kindness means to me." We shared an awkward moment before I got up and left his study. He looked like there was so much more that he wanted to say, like he was holding something back. The same way Alice had been looking at me since that day in the woods. Like they knew something more than what they were saying.
So, it was the Webers who would be my new family, and I felt guilty that Angela would be hurt when I disappeared. It would be nice to be a part of a good family, and maybe one day I would have my own, but right now I had other things I needed to do. I thought that maybe I should explain and tell her goodbye first, but a clean break was probably best. I'd leave early in the morning, before anyone else got up, and hopefully be far enough away before they discovered I was missing. I had a eight hundred dollars from my father's wallet. He had just gotten paid and always dealt in cash. Once I got to Phoenix, I would have to find a job immediately, because that wouldn't last long.
Was I doing the right thing? Could I just forget my mother existed and live with Angela for the next seven months? I've lived through six years of hell, surely another seven months with a nice family would be a piece of cake. I just couldn't get over this sense of urgency that I needed to find my mother now, that I had lived long enough not knowing what really happened to her. Now that I knew the story, I needed to confront her. She was my mother, she couldn't turn me away if I came to her. She would be forced to let me stay and explain herself. She owed me that much. I had friends here, support, a kind family. But she was my mother, the only family I had left, even if she gave me away. I needed to find her. I could always come back if I needed to...couldn't I?
I had found my way through the forest to the tree again. I was so deep in thought that I didn't even realize it. While the two sides of my conscience warred within me, I sat on the damp trunk and picked at the bark. A snapping twig startled me and Edward melted out of the trees, looking a bit disheveled.
"Bella, you really shouldn't be out here alone. There are dangerous animals in these woods." He chastised me.
"I'm sorry. I didn't even realize where I was going until I was here."
He crouched down in front of me and I drank in the sight of him. He must surely be an angel to possess such beauty. It hurt to look at him sometimes. I noticed a red spot on his jaw, and reached out tentatively to wipe it away with my thumb. He closed his eyes when I touched him and I could feel the electricity between us. I smeared the red liquid between my fingers and sucked in a breath.
"Edward, are you ok? You had blood on your face." My eyes frantically searched him for an injury.
His eyes darkened and he pulled away stiffly. "I'm fine. I must have scratched myself walking through the forest."
Satisfied that he appeared unharmed, I wiped my fingers off on my pants and gave him a timid smile. I was almost frightened of him sometimes, when his eyes were so dark and intense and you could feel the tension radiating off of him.
He relaxed after a few minutes and sat beside me on the tree. "I think you will be happy with Angela's family. They are good, kind people."
"Um, thanks. Angela has been a good friend."
"Are you going to find your mother?" He asked.
"Eventually." I answered, hoping to evade further questions.
He suddenly turned to me, his eyes blazing amber again. "Bella, promise me you won't do anything reckless? The Webers would be a wonderful family for you if you just give them a chance." I felt that there was more behind his words. He spoke the same way Carlisle did. Almost like they knew my plans, but they didn't want to say anything. Had Alice told them?
I looked down at the ground while my toe kicked at some moss. His long, cold fingers tipped my chin up and we stared into each other's eyes. Suddenly he gave me a crooked grin and leaned forward. I bit my lip nervously, unsure of what he wanted. His cool breath caressed my skin and smelled so intoxicating. I closed my eyes, attempting to slow down my racing heart. Then finally, I felt his lips press firmly against my forehead as his hand threaded through my hair, pulling me into him. He inhaled deeply. There was so much emotion in that one soft, chaste kiss. After he pulled back, he let out a harsh breath, and gave me a dazzling smile.
"Breathe Bella." He murmured as he gently stroked my cheek with the backs of his fingers. I desperately tried to catch my breath. What was that? I'm sure the shock was evident on my face. He looked sheepish. "Sorry." He started. "I shouldn't have done that."
"It's ok Edward." I smiled brightly at him and bravely laid my hand on his knee, letting him know I meant it.
His eyes flickered to my hand and I saw the corner of his mouth twitch up in what I assumed was a smile. "Come on Bella, let's get you home safely." He stood and motioned for me to go with him. As I stumbled through the forest, his arm found it's way around my waist, supporting me and keeping me from falling to the ground on a few occasions. The house loomed in front of us and I realized the one thing I would miss most about Forks was Edward Cullen, with his piercing amber eyes and dazzling smile. I was content when I was with him, his presence filling me with a warm feeling I could not name. It was almost enough to make me stay in Forks, but I had to have a fresh start and I had to find her. She was all I had left.
~~**~~
That night I settled in to sleep earlier than usual. When I woke screaming from my nightmare, Edward was there, but instead of staying up and talking, I managed to convince him to leave me and go to bed himself. He reluctantly left me, his eyes filled with a strange sadness that made me think I had hurt his feelings. Once I was sure I was alone, I got up from the couch and made sure everything in my bag was in order. I had a few changes of clothes, along with important papers I might need. I had my mother's address and picture and my father's money. Everything else that I had kept from my house would be left behind, and maybe Dr. Cullen or Mrs. Warren would put the items in storage for me.
I sat for at least an hour contemplating that this was the right decision and making sure everyone was asleep. I hadn't heard even a snore in the time I was listening. As quietly as possible I moved to the kitchen and pulled some non-perishable food from the cabinets, hating the ideal of stealing from the Cullens, but knowing that I needed to be prepared. I silently ran my fingers over the piano one last time, savoring the memories of the times I'd played beside Edward. Quickly, I let myself out the front door, and prayed that no one would wake up when I started my ancient truck. I slid into the cab of the truck and tossed my bag into the seat next to me. It was then that I noticed a suitcase, a couple of bags, a pillow, and some blankets had already been placed there. Alice. I looked up at the house in front of me, and I saw Edward's still form in one of the windows, his palm pressed against the glass. Tears pricked at my eyes and I fought them back. Alice's tiny figure joined him and they stood embracing each other, watching as I brought my truck to life and quickly made my getaway. I knew then that the Cullens were letting me go.
I managed to hold it together until I was a half hour outside of Forks. Then I had to pull over because I couldn't see through the tears. The further away I got, the harder it was to breathe, like a piece of me was missing. How could one small town have such a hold over me after such a short time? Every fiber of my being was screaming at me to go back, to run into Edward's arms and to go willingly to the Webers where I could live as normal a life as possible for someone like me. But my past would always haunt me, and I needed this closure. She was out there, living her happy life with her husband, and I deserved an explanation or apology at least.
Once I finally calmed down, I decided to see what Alice had packed for me. I opened the suitcase first and it was filled to the brim with clothes, of course. It was much better than the few outfits I had packed. These would last a good two weeks before I would have to do laundry. Next there was a small black satchel. I pulled out a three month supply of the supplements Dr. Cullen had wanted me to take. There were two envelopes as well. The first one held a stack of cash that caused me to gasp. I couldn't even bring myself to count it, and quickly shoved it back into the envelope and put it back in the bag. I knew the Cullens were rich, but for them to just hand me a huge amount of cash took my breath away. The guilt consumed me. They had been so kind to me, and I just took off on them. Slowly I extricated the papers from the second envelope, afraid of what I would find. A small card fell out onto the seat, and when I picked it up, I realized it was a drivers license. It was mine, except the birth date had been moved back one year, making me eighteen. I couldn't help the smile that came to my face. She had to have known how much that one detail weighed on me, and somehow she had taken care of it. One of the pieces of paper folded around it was a birth certificate, confirming my birth date. Alice was nothing, if not thorough. The other piece of paper was a letter. My hands shook as I tried to decide whether I wanted to read it now or later. My curiosity won out.
Bella,
By now you have figured out that we knew what you were planning. You may wonder why we did not stop you, and it was simply because we felt you needed this in order to move on with your life. Please do not feel guilty for one second about anything. We are glad to be able to help you in any way we can. The only thing I ask in return is that you call if you ever need anything. Even if you are you in trouble, we will always be here for you.
You should stop in Redding tonight. Drive straight through Los Angeles tomorrow and don't stop until you reach Indio.
Always your friend,
Alice
P.S. Edward says to be safe. There's a can of pepper spray in the other bag, keep it close at all times.
I smiled at the thought of Edward worrying about me, and a few more tears fell because I would miss this amazing family. There was a list of phone numbers written on the bottom of the note, and I folded it up and shoved it in my pocket, making a mental note to never lose it.
The third bag was full of toiletries and necessities which included the strawberry scented shampoo I was used to and even a roll of toilet paper for emergencies. Alice thought of everything and I had completely forgotten to pack any of those things aside from a toothbrush. I grabbed a cereal bar from the bag of food I collected and then decided to get back on the road. This was the first time I'd driven further than the store by myself. The freedom was intoxicating, but the unknown was frightening. My old truck rattled like it was going to fall apart if I drove any faster than 55, so I stayed in the slow lane and watched the other cars zipping past at lightening speeds.
I found a radio station playing oldies and before long I was drumming my fingers on the wheel in time with the music. The window was down and the cold February air helped keep me invigorated as I headed south. It was surreal to be driving away from everything I'd known, completely alone in the early hours of the morning. Three hours later I watched a spectacular sunrise, the sky first lightening before waves of reds, oranges, and blues washed across the heavens like a painting. The mountains and trees were black shadows, still encased in night, the sun's rays not touching them yet. As the sun continued to rise, the landscape came alive with greens and browns, and I embraced the dawn of a new day...a new start for me.
After another hour, I stopped in Portland, OR for a break. I had to fill up with gas and made use of the facilities at the station. In an effort to save as much money as possible, I decided against buying anything else to eat and would just scrounge from what I had taken from the Cullens, but I did buy a huge bottle of water.
I stopped again a couple hours outside of Redding, CA to fill up and stretch my legs. It was afternoon now and the sun blazed high in the sky. My stomach grumbled, so I pulled out some crackers and had a snack. I was getting tired of driving, and was glad Alice suggested stopping in Redding. After ten hours of driving, I was exhausted and my nerves were shot. There were so many rude people on the highway. The remaining hours of my trip seemed to drag and I was thrilled to see the exit packed with hotels. I considered sleeping in the truck, but the idea of being completely vulnerable, parked in a strange city, was too unnerving. I would feel safer with four walls around me and locked door. Not to mention a shower and a soft bed were very appealing at the moment.
The Howard Johnson looked like a good choice. The woman behind the counter had spent too much time in the sun, her skin dark and leathery with wrinkles etched deep into the surface. She couldn't have been as old as she looked, and the light pink lipstick contrasted horribly with her complexion. It didn't take long to get checked in, just a quick glance at the license Alice gave me and my signature and the key was in my hand. I drove around to park in front of my room and hauled all my bags in with me. Once I was sure the door was locked in three different ways, I flopped on the bed.
I was really on my own.
The myriad of emotions that ran through me was insane. For the first time in my life I was completely independent. I never had my own money to spend. I certainly couldn't spend my time as I wanted to, never being allowed to just be a kid and hang out with friends or go shopping. Now I had complete freedom and I didn't know what to do with myself.
First I decided that I was going to take a long, hot shower and I stayed in there for at least twenty minutes just allowing myself to relax under the flow of the water. I wrapped a towel around me and almost danced out to the main room, not having to worry about my modesty since I was the only one there. Ok Alice, let's see what you packed me. I grinned at the explosion of clothes when I opened the suitcase. There were plenty of my favorites – yoga pants, skirts, and soft, long sleeve shirts. For some reason she had packed me a swimsuit, as well as a couple of casual dresses and a pair of heels tucked in the bottom. Feeling a little daring, I pulled out one of the dresses and the heels and decided I needed a night out. I would treat myself to a nice dinner somewhere. Dressing up was fun, even if there was no occasion. The heels were not too high, so it was easy enough to walk in them, and the dress was still modest, but young and fresh. The royal blue fabric clung to me a little more than I was used to, but the skirt was fuller and long enough to be comfortable for me.
I found a steakhouse about two blocks away from the hotel and decided that would be the perfect place to go. The hostess eyed me curiously when I asked for a table for one, probably wondering why someone my age was all dressed up to eat alone. I mentally shrugged to myself as I didn't really care what she thought. I was determined to enjoy tonight. The waiter was a young guy, not much older than me, kind of cute and incredibly flirtatious. He kept flashing me a bright smile every time he passed my table. His name was Jeremy he told me, and he was clean cut with short, dark hair. For dinner, I ordered a sirloin steak with shrimp, knowing I couldn't possibly eat it all considering it came with a salad, bread, and a potato, but I still wanted to indulge.
"So may I ask why you're here all dressed up and alone?" Jeremy asked, as he sat my coke down on the table.
I shrugged, feeling the blush creep into my cheeks. "I'm just passing through and wanted to treat myself to a nice dinner."
"Well I do hope you enjoy your meal. If you need anything at all, please let me know. It's always a shame to see someone as beautiful as you eating by herself."
I ducked my head and took a sip of soda, hoping he would move along and quit embarrassing me. The carbonation from the soda surprised me. It burned and tickled, but the syrupy sweetness was nice. I could understand why something like this wasn't necessarily good for you, but it certainly tasted nice. It wasn't long before I had eaten as much of my dinner as I could and asked for the rest to be boxed up. I also ordered a sinful desert of chocolate cake to take back to the hotel. I was dying to try the hot chocolate chip cookie with ice cream, but by the time I ate it, the ice cream would have definitely melted. I paid for my meal and almost skipped out of the restaurant. I was strangely hyper and figured it must be the freedom getting to me.
Once back at the hotel, I changed into some comfortable pajamas and settled on the bed with the remote. I watched plenty of episodes of a show called Friends and devoured half of my chocolate cake. When nine o'clock rolled around, I tried to lay down and fall asleep, but my mind was racing and I was a little jittery. It eventually dawned on me that the two glasses of soda and chocolate cake must be the culprit. The overload of sugar and caffeine was not something I was used to. So as I lay in the dark, trying to sleep, my thoughts turned towards the Cullens. I wondered if Edward had played the piano today, and if Esme had cooked. Alice probably spent her day in her closet or with Jasper if he was home yet. Carlisle would be working long hours at the hospital, and I suddenly found I missed the smell of leather and old books that permeated his office. I missed breathing in Edward's delicious honeysuckle scent, and the feeling of the air crackling between us. I couldn't deny that my bronze-haired Adonis and I shared some kind of amazing chemistry and I wondered what might have been if I stayed. I wasn't even sure if he shared the same feelings, but if I remembered all the little things he did and said, I believed he did. Would he have become a boyfriend in time? Could I imagine myself actually going on a date, or even kissing him?
There was something off about the entire family and I was still not sure if they were human. Their skin was always so cold and harder than mine, like liquid marble. They claimed that they were not biologically related, but they were all so identical it was hard to believe. Their eyes changed from black to amber, and that amber color was certainly odd, nothing I had ever seen before. There were so many things that just didn't add up, but did it really matter what they were? I was pretty sure they weren't dangerous, and that they would never hurt me. There was still an eerie feeling that pricked up the hairs on the back of my neck when I was around them. Some kind of warning, but I didn't understand it. They were the kindest and most caring people I had encountered, and I just couldn't think of them as anything but good. I mean, my father never caused my hair to stand on end and he was absolutely capable of hurting me, and did so often. Maybe they truly were guardian angels here to watch over me. It would be nice to hope that someone was looking out for me...that someone cared. And with those more pleasant thoughts, I finally fell asleep, but there was no Edward here to comfort me when I woke screaming from my nightmare hours later. My chest ached again, as if something was missing. I did manage to calm myself down enough to go back to sleep, and I slept in, meaning I missed the free breakfast the hotel offered. So, grabbing another cereal bar, I headed back out on the road again, starting another leg of my journey.