"Damn it Bella!" I stumbled backwards after almost running headfirst into my fellow waitress, Marie. My tray of drinks ended up all over me instead of her, so that was something positive. I was fairly certain one day my luck would run out and one of the staff here would tear me limb from limb.
"Sorry." I mumbled as I gathered myself up off the floor, sighing at the mess of glass and ice I'd have to clean up. I managed to tick off the busboy in the first week and he refused to clean up after me any longer.
"Christ, B, you look like shit. Stay right here." She was right of course. I was dead on my feet and I looked it. Marie jogged over to Rebecca and then into the back for minute before finding me again. "Come with me. Becca's going to take over your section for a little while." She grabbed my wrist and pulled me off to the bathroom, her purse in hand. Crossing her arms over her chest, she gave me the once over and sighed. "What are we going to do with you Bella? It's been three weeks and you still aren't getting the hang of things. Dan is seriously considering firing you, no matter how hot you look in that outfit."
Dan agreed to hire me as a waitress despite my lack of work history, and I was definitely proving to be a disappointment. Not a day passed where I didn't end up dumping a tray of something on the floor. Marie just confirmed my suspicions that Dan hired whoever he thought would look best in this poor excuse for a uniform, regardless of skill. My father would be turning over in his grave if he saw me in these tiny shorts and too-tight tee, letting the men leer at me. Scooter's and the library were the only two places to even call me back after a week of job hunting. Beggars can't be choosers, and the tips were good, but only because I was prancing around half naked. They certainly weren't tipping me because of my superior waitressing skills.
"How did you manage to make it to eighteen and not learn how to use concealer. You look like you haven't slept in weeks." Marie was digging through her purse and produced her make-up pouch.
"I've never worn make-up and I don't get much sleep." I grumbled.
She eyes me incredulously. "Well, we're going to fix that." Marie was sassy and tough. She was a pro at waitressing and knew how to work the customers, flirting and saying just the right things to bring them back night after night. I don't think I'd ever seen her have an off shift or even complain about being tired. She also held her own if the customers ever got too fresh, being sure to put them in their place with a verbal lashing. Her fingers danced over my face as she expertly applied concealer and makeup, explaining what everything was and how to apply it. She talked quickly and non-stop, and some nights it was enough to give me a headache. We had formed a tentative friendship during working hours. I guess she kind of took me under her wing, showing me the ropes and helping me adjust to life here. She had asked me a few times to go out with her and some friends, but I had declined so far because I never had time to do anything other than work.
Finally, she stood back looking satisfied with her work. "There."
I eyed myself dubiously in the mirror and was surprised that my previous zombie look had morphed into something presentable. "Thanks, Marie. You are miracle worker." I gave her a quick hug. Everyone here hugged, and it was something I quickly got used to the first week I was here.
"Make sure you go by the store to get your own makeup and remember what I did. As far as the miracle worker part, thank me after you take this." She handed me a little pill.
"What's this?" I eyed the pill in my hand like it was the plague. The last thing I needed was to get involved in drugs.
"It's just something to wake you up, like a big dose of caffeine. I take one every day before work. It's perfectly safe, Bella. You do want to keep your job don't you?" She quirked an eyebrow at me. If she took them every day and did as well as she did, then it couldn't be that bad. I was terrified of losing my job, so I took the pill, but I put it in my pocket.
"You work too hard, Bella. It's ok to ask for a little help. You'll see." She winked. Working fourteen hours a day between here and the library left me exhausted. Add in my nightmares on top of that and I barely slept anymore. The only days I had off were Sundays, ironically, and that was when I caught up on sleep.
We emerged from the bathroom and I noticed someone had persuaded John to clean up my mess after all. I would have to thank him for that later. Things were picking up and Rebecca sighed with relief when we made our way back to the floor. It wasn't long before I felt the life draining out of me. For the rest of the night, I could barely shuffle my feet along, let alone keep up with all my orders and requests. Marie kept watching me and shook her head. I just didn't know that I wanted to go that route, though it was tempting.
Dan pulled me aside after we closed. "Swan, I know you can do this. You have one more week to get it together, otherwise I'm going to have to let you go, and neither one of us wants it to come to that." I didn't fail to notice how he eyed my meager cleavage revealed by the low v-neck.
Marie came up behind me on our way out and wrapped her arm around my waist. "I'd hate to see you go Bella. Give it a try tomorrow, you'll see it's not that bad." She whispered in my ear.
Could I do whatever it took to make it? There was nowhere else for me to go, and no one to take care of me. Where would I go if everything here fell through? You don't get many chances to start over. It's amazing what you can justify to yourself when you need to. The changes in my life over the past two months were astounding. What I used to be, versus what I am now makes me shake my head in disbelief. Do we ever truly know how our lives are going to turn out?
It was midnight before I finally threw myself onto the bed in my hotel room. I didn't even have the energy to shower first. The library opened at seven, so I set the alarm for five-thirty. I sent a quick prayer up that I could avoid any nightmares tonight. Three hours was as much sleep as I was going to get. I woke up panting and sweating from yet another nightmare. The dreams had morphed over time and most recently they left me stranded alone in an unfamiliar forest. I tried to follow my father, until the earth swallowed him up. Then I'd follow my mother until she disappeared out of the the forest into a backyard with Phil. I couldn't escape the forest, some invisible force holding me captive within it. So I wandered alone until I simply curled up cold and exhausted in the middle of the forest floor. Snarls and growls erupted around me, and that was usually when I woke up terrified.
I hauled myself out of bed and took a lukewarm shower, hoping the cooler water would wake me up enough. After dressing in something my father and Alice would both approve of, I downed a pot of coffee and made my way to the library for my shift. At least it was calm and quiet there, with a possibility of a quick nap on my break.
Mrs. Brady was waiting for me when I came in. She always had a warm smile and a plate full of some kind of homemade baked goods. Her dark hair was laced with silver strands, and always perfectly styled. She had a large heart and treated all of her employees like they were her own children. I felt safe there, and cared for. When I showed up for the interview, she asked me very few questions and decided almost immediately to hire me. The pay wasn't great, and certainly not enough on it's own to pay for my tiny hotel room, but it was a job I would enjoy.
"Good morning, Isabella!" She called out cheerily, pushing a plate with two cinnamon rolls on it across the counter.
"Morning, Mrs. Brady. Those smell delicious. Thank you so much." She embraced me and I lingered savoring the motherly feel of her soft form. I inhaled deeply because she always smelled like cookies and it reminded me of Edward. She clucked over my exhausted appearance and fussed with my hair a bit, chiding me that a young girl like me shouldn't have to work so hard. She understood why I had to do it, but she didn't approve. I'd heard her on more than one occasion muttering to herself that I needed a mother's loving care, and she was absolutely right. Too bad I didn't have a mother.
I grabbed my plate and headed to the small desk I shared with other employees. The cinnamon rolls melted in my mouth as I pulled up holds for the day, and finished off yet another cup of coffee while my slips were printing out. The silence of the early morning there was enjoyable. There wasn't much to do and I could simply enjoy the calm and the smell of the books.
An exciting day at the library involved dealing with a couple of teenagers who got a little loud. The rest of the time was fairly monotonous, re-shelving books, checking out and checking in. I was finally able to check out whatever I'd like without my father watching over me, and could satisfy my voracious appetite for reading in what little time I had to spare between work and sleep. I spent a lot of time reading the covers and inside flaps of the books, enthralled with all the different types of literature and stories out there. It was a powerful feeling to have all these stories and information at my disposal and I could not wait to sink my teeth in.
Soon enough it was noon and I could head back to the hotel I called home for hopefully another couple hours of sleep. I had to be back at Scooter's by four, and that little pill was taunting me. If I could just keep going until Sunday. Only two more days, and then I would have a day of rest. I knew the next two nights would be the worst. I was nearing the end of my stored up sleep, and on top of that, Friday and Saturday nights were the busiest.
The obnoxious beeping of the alarm ripped me from a rare peaceful sleep. Two hours of uninterrupted slumber was not as refreshing as it should have been. I pulled out one of my uniforms, the black scraps of fabric causing me to shake my head. I still couldn't believe that I wore this every night and paraded my body around for the customers to stare at. Whatever pays the bills right? Marie always arranged her outfit to reveal more, always pulling her shirt down, adjusting her push-up bra, and pulling her shorts up so her rear-end peeked out of the bottom. I, on the other hand, tried to make sure as much skin as possible was covered by the black stretchy fabric and used a sports bra to try to flatten whatever cleavage I did have.
I left the pill on the counter.
Marie looked me over when I arrived, and shook her head in disappointment. I groaned internally when I realized I'd forgotten about makeup. Not that I had any time to go shopping anyway. A few minutes later and she had me by the wrist, pulling me back into the bathroom.
She was telling me about this guy she met last week at the club who was coming in tonight. I wondered how she had the energy to go out to a club after working all night. Marie didn't have to work two jobs though, so she could get as much sleep as she needed. She had a roommate to share rent with, so she saved money there too. Oh, and she had parents who cared and were helping her through school. So, she had the time and energy to meet her man of the week, as I called her dates, since she never seemed to stick to one for more than a week. In the three weeks I'd worked with her, she'd dated four different guys. Apparently this one was coming in with some friends tonight and they were going out again after work. I listened to her go on about how well he kissed and how sweet he was while she made me look presentable. She pulled out a pair of silver hoop earrings before realizing my ears weren't pierced.
"Oh my God, Bella! Your ears aren't pierced?" She exclaimed.
"Nope."
"How?" Her despair over my intact earlobes was amusing.
"My father was an extremely religious man. In fact, if he knew I was wearing this, I'm pretty sure he would come back from the dead just to kill me. Pierced ears were never an option." I had never spoken with Marie about my past. She only knew I was here in town trying to make my way and save for college. I was tired of secrets. It seems like for most of my life I'd been suffocated by secrecy. Honesty was easier and I did not like to lie.
"Oh wow. What about your mom?"
"She left when I was twelve." While I did not mind revealing some of my past, the truth about my mother had been pushed to the dark recesses of my mind and I had no plans to tell anyone of her ultimate betrayal.
"So you don't have any family?"
"Nope. It's just me."
"Well that explains a lot." She mumbled to herself before her whole face lit up. It reminded me of Alice when she got an idea. "You have to come out with us then. You need friends, you can't just be all alone. I'm going out with Dave and his friends tonight and you can come along."
"Marie, I can't. I have to get some sleep before I have to be at the library in the morning."
"Come on, Bella! One night is not going to kill you. Just take that pill I gave you before you go in tomorrow and you'll be fine."
I shook my head and she pulled out the puppy dog eyes and a pout. "Please?"
My resolve was breaking, only because I really wanted to do something other than work and sleep, but I still declined. Her eyes narrowed and she huffed, but I knew it wasn't over. Marie had a plan and I would probably end up going out with them tonight.
~~**~~
"Bella!" Marie called to me in a singsong voice, a huge smile plastered on her face. I paused at the window, waiting for her. "Ok, so Dave and his friends are here and my section was full, so they were just seated at table sixty-four. Be good to them, ok?"
"Sure Marie." I agreed, biting my lip and hoping that I didn't end up spilling a pitcher of water on anyone. It was only an hour until we closed, and I was ready for the night to be over, even though Marie had never stopped begging me to go out with them. I took a deep breath and she patted me on the butt as I walked away towards her friends.
There were four guys in the booth that looked to be in their early twenties. "Hi. I'm Bella. I'll be your server tonight." I gave them my best smile.
The blond on my left stretched out and gave me a sleazy smile. "Hey Bella. Marie was telling us about you earlier." He certainly was not helping to convince me to go out with them by the way his eyes raked over me. "I'm Dave." Of course he was the one Marie liked. I fought the urge to roll my eyes. He was exactly like the last two I had met. He gestured to the two on the other side of the table, both with long dark hair and hazel eyes. "This is Jesse, and his brother Shane." Jesse nodded and Shane gave me a quick wave. Dave jerked his thumb to the guy next to him. "And this is Sean." He gave me a lazy smile as he tucked his brown hair behind his ears. His blue eyes were beautiful beneath his dark lashes. I couldn't help but return the smile and felt my cheeks heat up as I blushed. Ok, well maybe I could go out with them tonight. I wouldn't mind getting to know him a little more.
"It's nice to meet you all." I said, still under the spell of Sean's eyes. I finally looked away when one of the others chuckled, mortified that I was caught staring. "Can I go ahead and get you something to drink?" Quickly snapping back into waitress mode and avoiding looking at Sean.
I took their orders and checked on two of my other tables before rushing back to put it in. Another waitress would have to deliver their pitcher of beer since I wasn't twenty-one. Dave was pretty put off that I asked to see their IDs, but I was not losing my job over something so trivial as that.
The guys seemed to be enjoying themselves. They tried to monopolize my time a bit, and I found myself constantly trying to escape to take care of my other customers. I'm sure Marie could handle the situation perfectly, but for someone was challenged as I was, it had the potential for disaster. It was obvious that the other three had noticed me and Sean exchanging looks. They would egg him on, and he would try to get them to be quiet. He seemed really nice, but an hour of waiting on him and his friends wasn't enough to really know for sure. They invited me to go out with them afterwards, and I was considering it. Marie kept begging and even Rebecca asked me to go so there would be another girl to talk to, knowing Marie would be completely enthralled with Dave the entire time.
When I returned to the guys' table to pick up the signed receipts and tip, Sean was waiting. He seemed pretty shy as he hesitantly asked me to join them.
"The guys wanted me to ask you again to please go out with us tonight. I'd really like it if you did." He spoke quietly, as he glanced up at me briefly, shoving his hands nervously into his pockets as he waited for my answer.
I sighed and gave in. "I'll come for a little bit, but I really can't stay long. I have to get some sleep before work in the morning."
He let out a breath and grinned, a dimple forming in his left cheek. "Great. I'll see you there." I let out a little chuckle and turned my attention to the table, gasping as I saw the thirty dollar tip.
Marie grabbed my waist from behind, causing me to squeal and jump. "I told you they were great tippers." She giggled. "So you're coming then?"
"Yes Marie, but only for a little while."
"You know, Sean's interested." She gave me a sly smile and winked at me.
I shrugged, trying to be nonchalant
"He's really sweet Bella. You two will get along great." She pushed me playfully. "Now hurry up so we can get changed and go out!"
My heart dropped into my stomach. "I didn't bring anything to change into Marie. I can't wear this out!"
"Relax! I'll follow you over to your place and we can change there. No problem"
"Um..." I really didn't want her to see where I was staying. All of the nicer hotels were too expensive, so I had to take what I could get and the place was not very nice. "Sure, I guess."
She gave me a strange look and then shrugged heading off to finish her closing duties. Thirty minutes later we were in our cars on our way to my room.
When we pulled up to the hotel, I could feel the trepidation rolling off Marie. She scanned the parking lot and rushed to my side. I quickly strode to the door to my room, my pepper spray in one hand, key in the other. Once we were inside, she took in the decrepit room and looked at me with pity.
"You can't be comfortable here, Bella."
I shrugged. "It's all I can afford right now really. All the nicer places were too expensive, and a studio apartment is as much as this, only they want two months rent for a deposit. So this is it."
"I'll ask around and see if anyone is looking for a roommate. This place isn't safe for a single girl on her own."
"Thanks Marie, I'd appreciate that."
"Alright, let's get ready then." She set her bag on the bed and went to go check out the bathroom. "Wow, this is a lot cleaner than I expected." I heard her voice echoing off the tile in the tiny room.
"Yeah, I spent some time cleaning." I said as I walked up behind her and pointed to the cleaning supplies on the shelf. "I also wrapped the bed in plastic and bought all my own bedding, and I fumigated the place on my own." I picked up the container of bug killer in the corner.
"Wow, impressive."
I shrugged. "Just because I don't have money doesn't mean I don't like for things to be clean. I actually slept in my truck the first couple of nights because I was afraid of what might venture out into my room at night." I shuddered at the memory of turning on the light for the first time and watching roaches scatter into any crevice they could find.
"Well, the sooner I can find you a roommate, the better. Let's go meet our guys!" She threw on a tight smile and headed back into the bathroom.
Another thirty minutes and we were on our way to the club. I was following Marie this time. We parked on the street and made our way inside, scanning the place for any sign of the people we were supposed to meet. Marie saw them first and grabbed my hand, pulling me over to where they were sitting at the bar. Dave stood up and pulled her in for a deep kiss, and I couldn't help but blush as I turned away to give them privacy.
"Hey Bella." Sean's quiet voice made me turn back around. He had that same shy smile on his face.
"Hey Sean." I greeted him.
"I'm glad you came." His cheeks held a hint of pink as he focused those blue eyes on mine.
Marie interrupted us by clearing her throat and hooking her arm through mine. "Bella, you've already met everyone else, but this is Heather. She's my roommate and Jesse's girlfriend."
Heather briefly glanced over at me and said hi. I gave her a little wave and she went back to plundering Jesse's mouth with her tongue. I noticed Rebecca was cuddled into Shane's side, and realized that everyone had paired up. That left me and Sean. I knew exactly what everyone was expecting and my face grew hot with embarrassment. Marie gave me a knowing smile and looked at Sean pointedly.
"Can I get you something to drink?" He interrupted our silent conversation, raising his voice to be heard over the music and roar of the people.
I held up my wrist with the hot pink bracelet on it. "Just some water would be good." Sean smiled and turned back to the bar, before returning to my side with two bottles of water in his hand. He handed one to me and opened the other for himself.
"So, did you want to dance?" He asked as his eyes scanned the three couples behind us. We were practically yelling at each other.
"Um, I don't really dance."
He grinned even wider, looking relieved, then leaned in to me so he didn't have to shout. "Me neither. This really isn't my scene. I just come to hang out with my friends."
"This is the first time I've been to a place like this." I confessed. "So, it's not really my scene either. It's a little overwhelming."
He nodded and leaned in even closer, his mouth next to my ear. "Normally, I would ask if you wanted to get out of here, but since you don't know me, I'm pretty sure that answer would be no." He pulled back to see my answer and smirked, showing off that dimple. I nodded in agreement. "So, why don't we find a quieter spot here and just talk?"
"That sounds great actually."
He gave a quick nod and then scanned the room for an open table somewhere. I felt his warm hand envelope mine and jumped. He quickly let go and apologized. "Sorry, I was just going to take you over to the table. I didn't want to lose you in the crowd."
I sucked in a deep breath and reached out to take his hand once more, giving it a squeeze. It actually felt pretty nice. "No, it's ok. It just surprised me, that's all." I gave him what I hoped was a reassuring smile. It was a basic instinct for me to avoid physical contact with any member of the opposite sex, and something that I was going to have to overcome. I allowed him to lead me over to a table in the corner of the club. It was marginally quieter there. We scooted our seats close together so we could hear each other as we talked.
"So where are you from?" He asked, our heads nearly touching. He smelled nice. Nothing overpowering, just earthy and masculine.
"I've lived all over, but the last place was in Washington. A tiny town called Forks."
"Why did you move here?"
"Honestly? I picked it off of a map."
He pulled away to give me a strange look. "Seriously?" I nodded. "So is your family still in Forks?"
I shook my head. "My mother left when I was twelve, and my father died recently."
I felt his warm hand grasp mine in sympathy. "I'm sorry."
"Me too." I shrugged and continued to let him hold my hand. "What about you? Have you always lived here?" Turning the attention to him. I had no desire to tell my entire sordid tale to him.
"No. I moved out here about ten years ago. I lived on the East Coast before that. North Carolina."
"I lived in Tennessee, Georgia, and Mississippi."
"Really?"
"Yeah, not for very long, a year or two here and there." I paused, taking a sip of my water. "Your family moved out here then?"
"Just me and my mom. My dad left when I was nine, and my mom wanted a fresh start."
"I'm sorry."
"Oh, it's alright. I've had years to get over it, and I know our lives are better without him in it."
"So do you live on your own then?"
"I moved out a couple of years ago. Mom got remarried and I was an adult. I wanted to give her some space with her new family, and really didn't want a step-dad hovering over me." He chuckled. "Me and Dave are roommates."
After a few moments of silence, he moved onto a new topic. "What do you do for fun?" He asked, leaning in closer again so we could hear each other.
"Nothing really. I've never had much time for hobbies, between school and chores."
"I guess without a mom you had to do everything huh?"
"Yes. My father was very religious and old-fashioned. From the time I was a child, my whole life centered on learning to keep house and keeping myself pure."
"That doesn't sound like fun at all. Surely, you had time for something else?"
"Believe me, there was no fun." I laughed darkly. "I do like to read, and I play a little piano. Before I left I was learning more, but it doesn't matter now since I don't have anything to practice on. How about you? Hobbies?"
"I play guitar, and I like to read too. The beach is always fun and I enjoy surfing of course."
"I haven't really had a chance to enjoy the beach yet. I'm really looking forward to it though, if I ever get some free time."
"Do you work a lot? Marie has mentioned a couple times that you couldn't go out with her because of work."
"I have two jobs, and rarely get enough sleep as it is. In the mornings, I work at the library, and then I go into Scooter's for the night. Sundays are my days off and I catch up on sleep then. Otherwise, I only get a couple hours in between jobs."
"Wow. You must be exhausted. So are you saving for college?"
"Not yet. Just trying to make enough to live right now. I do hope to eventually go to school, but it's probably going to be a while." He nodded, scanning the club and locating his friends grinding away on the dance floor. "Are you going to school?"
Sean shook his head, returning his attention to our conversation. "Not really. I'm taking a couple classes here and there, but not a full load. I have to work too."
"Where do you work?"
"At a music store actually." He smirked.
"That sounds like a nice job."
"It has it's moments."
I stifled a yawn and he glanced at his watch.
"Do you need to go?" He asked.
I gave him an apologetic smile and nodded. "If I'm going to be worth anything tomorrow, I have to get some sleep."
He stood up from the table and waited for me to gather my purse, then he placed a hand on my lower back and leaned in close to my ear. "I had a nice time tonight, Bella. I'd really like to get to know you better. Would you like to go out some time, just us? Maybe we could go to the beach on Sunday?"
Sean seemed to be a sweet guy and I did have a nice time tonight, even if it was only getting to know each other a little. Going to the beach would be nice, especially with a companion. "Sure, that sounds nice."
"Great." He rewarded me with a beautiful dimpled smile. "Can I get your number?"
"Oh. Um. I don't have a phone." I frowned, biting my lip.
"Hmm. We could meet at the boardwalk? If something comes up, you could ask Marie to give me or Dave a call."
"Sure, that works. How about we meet at three? I usually sleep in until at least noon."
"Sounds good to me." Then he proceeded to give me directions to where we should meet.
I made my way over to Marie and told her I was leaving. She was three sheets to the wind and Dave wasn't much better. I worried about either one of them driving in that condition, but assumed they could handle it.
"I'll walk you out." Sean murmured into my ear as he followed behind me. When we made it to my truck, he let out a low whistle. "Wow. That is some kind of beast you have there." He ran his hands over the bulbous fender.
"My dad bought it for me a couple months ago. It's my first car. I was surprised he actually let me have one, but the weather in Forks was too rainy and cold for me to walk to school every day. So, it made sense. I like it. It's got character." I turned to smile at him and my breath hitched with the way he was looking at me.
"You're not like other girls, Bella. I like that and I can't wait to get to know you better." He closed the distance between us and grasped my arms with his hands. "I would really like to kiss you right now, but I'm pretty sure I should save that for a later date." I blushed and nodded. I'd never been kissed like that before and I wasn't quite ready after only knowing him for a couple of hours. His lips did look soft though. Sean seemed to break himself out of the moment we were sharing and backed up a little, taking a deep breath. "I'll see you on Sunday then."
"Yes, definitely. Sunday." I climbed in my truck and he watched me pull away.
My eyes barely stayed open long enough for me to lock the door to my room and I passed out the moment my head hit the pillow. I was looking forward to Sunday.